a new england girlhood-第24章

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e　it　back　to　us。　Inanimate　Objects　do　gather　into　themselves　something　of　the　character　of　those　who　live　among　them；　through　association；　and　this　alone　makes　heirlooms　valuable。　They　are　family　treasures；　because　they　are　part　of　the　family　life；　full　of　memories　and　inspirations。　Bought　or　sold；　they　are　nothing　but　old　furniture。　Nobody　can　buy　the　old　associations；　and　nobody　who　has　really　felt　how　everything　that　has　been　in　a　home　makes　part　of　it；　can　willing…　ly　bargain　away　the　old　things。

My　mother　never　thought　of　disposing　of　her　best　furniture；　whatever　her　need。　It　traveled　with　her　in　every　change　of　her　abiding…place；　as　long　as　she　lived；　so　that　to　us　children　home　seemed　to　accompany　her　wherever　she　went。　And；　remaining　yet　in　the　family；　it　often　brings　back　to　me　pleasant　reminders　of　my　childhood。　No　other　Bible　seems　quite　so　sacred　to　me　as　the　old　Family　Bible；　out　of　which　my　father　used　to　read　when　we　were　all　gathered　around　him　for　worship。　To　turn　its　leaves　and　look　at　its　pictures　was　one　of　our　few　Sabbath…day　indulgences；　and　I　cannot　touch　it　now　except　with　feelings　of　profound　reverence。

For　the　first　time　in　our　lives；　my　little　sister　and　I　became　pupils　in　a　grammar　school　for　both　girls　and　boys；　taught　by　a　man。　I　was　put　with　her　into　the　sixth　class；　but　was　sent　the　very　next　day　into　the　first。　I　did　not　belong　in　either；　but　somewhere　between。　And　I　was　very　uncomfortable　in　my　promotion；　for　though　the　reading　and　spelling　and　grammar　and　geography　were　perfectly　easy；　I　had　never　studied　any　thing　but　mental　arithmetic；　and　did　not　know　how　to　〃do　a　sum。〃　We　had　to　show；　when　called　up　to　recite；　a　slateful　of　sums；　〃done〃　and　〃proved。〃　No　explanations　were　ever　asked　of　us。

The　girl　who　sat　next　to　me　saw　my　distress；　and　offered　to　do　my　sums　for　me。　I　accepted　her　proposal；　feeling；　however；　that　I　was　a　miserable　cheat。　　But　I　was　afraid　of　the　master；　who　was　tall　and　gaunt；　and　used　to　stalk　across　the　schoolroom；　right　over　the　desk…tops；　to　find　out　if　there　was　any　mischief　going　on。　Once；　having　caught　a　boy　annoying　a　seat…mate　with　a　pin；　he　punished　the　offender　by　pursuing　him　around　the　schoolroom；　sticking　a　pin　into　his　shoulder　whenever　he　could　overtake　him。　And　he　had　a　fearful　leather　strap；　which　was　sometimes　used　even　upon　the　shrinking　palm　of　a　little　girl。　If　he　should　find　out　that　I　was　a　pretender　and　deceiver；　as　I　knew　that　I　was；　I　could　not　guess　what　might　happen　to　me。　He　never　did；　however。　I　was　left　unmolested　in　the　ignorance　which　I　deserved。　But　I　never　liked　the　girl　who　did　my　sums；　and　I　fancied　she　had　a　decided　contempt　for　me。

There　was　a　friendly　looking　boy　always　sitting　at　the　master's　desk；　they　called　him；　the　monitor。〃　It　was　his　place　to　assist　scholars　who　were　in　trouble　about　their　lessons；　but　I　was　too　bashful　to　speak　to　him；　or　to　ask　assistance　of　anybody。　I　think　that　nobody　learned　much　under　that　regime；　and　the　whole　school　system　was　soon　after　entirely　reorganized。

Our　house　was　quickly　filled　with　a　large　feminine　family。　As　a　child；　the　gulf　between　little　girlhood　and　young　womanhood　had　always　looked　to　me　very　wide。　I　suppose　we　should　get　across　it　by　some　sudden　jump；　by　and　by。　But　among　these　new　companions　of　all　ages；　from　fifteen　to　thirty　years；　we　slipped　into　womanhood　without　knowing　when　or　how。

Most　of　my　mother's　boarders　were　from　New　Hampshire　and　Vermont；　and　there　was　a　fresh；　breezy　sociability　about　them　which　made　them　seem　almost　like　a　different　race　of　beings　from　any　we　children　had　hitherto　known。

We　helped　a　little　about　the　housework；　before　and　after　school；　making　beds；　trimming　lamps；　and　washing　dishes。　The　heaviest　work　was　done　by　a　strong　Irish　girl；　my　mother　always　attending　to　the　cooking　herself。　She　was；　however；　a　better　caterer　than　the　circumstances　required　or　permitted。　She　liked　to　make　nice　things　for　the　table；　and；　having　been　accustomed　to　an　abundant　supply；　could　never　learn　to　economize。　At　a　dollar　and　a　quarter　a　week　for　board；（the　price　allowed　for　mill…girls　by　the　corporations）　great　care　in　expenditure　was　necessary。　It　was　not　in　my　mother's　nature　closely　to　calculate　costs；　and　in　this　way　there　came　to　be　a　continually　increasing　leak　in　the　family　purse。　The　older　members　of　the　family　did　everything　they　could；　but　it　was　not　enough。　I　heard　it　said　one　day；　in　a　distressed　tone；　〃The　children　will　have　to　leave　school　and　go　into　the　mill。〃

There　were　many　pros　and　cons　between　my　mother　and　sisters　before　this　was　positively　decided。　The　mill…agent　did　not　want　to　take　us　two　little　girls；　but　consented　on　condition　we　should　be　sure　to　attend　school　tile　full　number　of　months　prescribed　each　year。　I；　the　younger　one；　was　then　between　eleven　and　twelve　years　old。

I　listened　to　all　that　was　said　about　it；　very　much　fearing　that　I　should　not　be　permitted　to　do　the　coveted　work。　For　the　feeling　had　already　frequently　come　to　me；　that　I　was　the　one　too　many　in　the　overcrowded　family　nest。　Once；　before　we　left　our　old　home；　I　had　heard　a　neighbor　condoling　with　my　mother　because　there　were　so　many　of　us；　and　her　emphatic　reply　had　been　a　great　relief　to　my　mind：

〃There　is　isn't　one　more　than　I　want。　I　could　not　spare　a　single　one　of　my　children。〃

But　her　difficulties　were　increasing；　and　I　thought　it　would　be　a　pleasure　to　feel　that　I　was　not　a　trouble　or　burden　or　expense　to　anybody。　So　I　went　to　my　first　day's　work　in　the　mill　with　a　light　heart。　The　novelty　of　it　made　it　seem　easy；　and　it　really　was　not　hard；　just　to　change　the　bobbins　on　the　spinning…frames　every　three　quarters　of　an　hour　or　so；　with　half　a　dozen　othe

little　girls　who　were　doing　the　same　thing。　When　I　came　back　at　night；　the　family　began　to　pity　me　for　my　long；　tiresome　day's　work；　but　I　laughed　and　said；

〃Why；　it　is　nothing　but　fun。　It　is　just　like　play。〃

And　for　a　little　while　it　was　only　a　new　amusement；　I　liked　it　better　than　going　to　school　and　〃making　believe〃　I　was　learning　when　I　was　not。　And　there　was　a　great　deal　of　play　mixed　with　it。　We　were　not　occupied　more　than　half　the　time。　The　intervals　were　spent　frolicking　around　around　the　spinning…frames；　teasing　and　talking　to　the　older　girls；　or　entertaining　ourselves　with　the　games　and　stories　in　a　corner；　or　exploring　with　the　overseer's　permission；　the　mysteries　of　the　the　carding…room；　the　dressing…　room　and　the　weaving…room。

I　never　cared　much　for　machinery。　The　buzzing　and　hissing　and　whizzing　of　pulleys　and　rollers　and　spindles　and　flyers　around　me　often　grew　tiresome。　I　could　not　see　into　their　complications；　or　feel　interested　in　them。　But　in　a　room　below　us　we　were　sometimes　allowed　to　peer　in　through　a　sort　of　blind　door　at　the　great　water…wheel　that　carried　the　works　of　the　whole　mill。　It　was　so　huge　that　we　could　only　watch　a　few　of　its　spokes　at　a　time；　and　part　of　its　dripping　rim；　moving　with　a　slow；　measured　strength　through　the　darkness　that　shut　it　in。　It　impressed　me　with　something　of　the　awe　which　comes　to　us　in　thinking　of　the　great　Power　which　keeps　the　mechanism　of　the　universe　in　motion。　Even　now；　the　remembrance　of　its　large；　mysterious　movement；　in　which　every　little　motion　of　every　noisy　little　wheel　was　involved；　brings　back　to　me　a　verse　from　one　of　my　favorite　hymns：

〃Our　lives　through　various　scenes　are　drawn；　And　vexed　by　trifling　cares；　While　Thine　eternal　thought　moves　on　Thy　undisturbed　affairs。〃

There　were　compensations　for　being　shut　in　to　daily　toil　so　early。　The　mill　itself　had　its　lessons　for　us。　But　it　was　not；　and　could　not　be；　the　right　sort　of　life　for　a　child；　and　we　were　happy　in　the　knowledge　that；　at　the　longest；　our　employment　was　only　to　be　temporary。

When　I　took　my　next　three　months　at　the　grammar　school；　every…　thing　there　was　changed；　and　I　too　was　changed。　The　teachers　were　kind；　and　thorough　in　their　instruction；　and　my　mind　seemed　to　have　been　ploughed　up　during　that　year　of　work；　so　that　knowledge　took　root　in　it　easily。　It　was　a　great　delight　to　me　to　study；　and　at　the　end　of　the　three　months　the　master　told　me　that　I　was　prepared　for　the　high　school。

But　alas！　I　could　not　go。　The　little　money　I　could　earn