the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第9章

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words　or　actions　seemed　to　her　to　compromise　her　dignity。

On　this　particular　morning　Madame　de　Mortsauf　wore　a　rose…colored　gown
patterned　in　tiny　stripes；　a　collar　with　a　wide　hem；　a　black　belt；　and
little　boots　of　the　same　hue。　Her　hair　was　simply　twisted　round　her
head；　and　held　in　place　by　a　tortoise…shell　comb。　Such；　my　dear
Natalie；　is　the　imperfect　sketch　I　promised　you。　But　the　constant
emanation　of　her　soul　upon　her　family；　that　nurturing　essence　shed　in
floods　around　her　as　the　sun　emits　its　light；　her　inward　nature；　her
cheerfulness　on　days　serene；　her　resignation　on　stormy　ones；all
those　variations　of　expression　by　which　character　is　displayed　depend；
like　the　effects　in　the　sky；　on　unexpected　and　fugitive　circumstances；
which　have　no　connection　with　each　other　except　the　background　against
which　they　rest；　though　all　are　necessarily　mingled　with　the　events　of
this　history；truly　a　household　epic；　as　great　to　the　eyes　of　a　wise
man　as　a　tragedy　to　the　eyes　of　the　crowd；　an　epic　in　which　you　will
feel　an　interest；　not　only　for　the　part　I　took　in　it；　but　for　the
likeness　that　it　bears　to　the　destinies　of　so　vast　a　number　of　women。

Everything　at　Clochegourde　bore　signs　of　a　truly　English　cleanliness。
The　room　in　which　the　countess　received　us　was　panelled　throughout　and
painted　in　two　shades　of　gray。　The　mantelpiece　was　ornamented　with　a
clock　inserted　in　a　block　of　mahogany　and　surmounted　with　a　tazza；　and
two　large　vases　of　white　porcelain　with　gold　lines；　which　held　bunches
of　Cape　heather。　A　lamp　was　on　a　pier…table；　and　a　backgammon　board　on
legs　before　the　fireplace。　Two　wide　bands　of　cotton　held　back　the
white　cambric　curtains；　which　had　no　fringe。　The　furniture　was　covered
with　gray　cotton　bound　with　a　green　braid；　and　the　tapestry　on　the
countess's　frame　told　why　the　upholstery　was　thus　covered。　Such
simplicity　rose　to　grandeur。　No　apartment；　among　all　that　I　have　seen
since；　has　given　me　such　fertile；　such　teeming　impressions　as　those
that　filled　my　mind　in　that　salon　of　Clochegourde；　calm　and　composed
as　the　life　of　its　mistress；　where　the　conventual　regularity　of　her
occupations　made　itself　felt。　The　greater　part　of　my　ideas　in　science
or　politics；　even　the　boldest　of　them；　were　born　in　that　room；　as
perfumes　emanate　from　flowers；　there　grew　the　mysterious　plant　that
cast　upon　my　soul　its　fructifying　pollen；　there　glowed　the　solar
warmth　which　developed　my　good　and　shrivelled　my　evil　qualities。
Through　the　windows　the　eye　took　in　the　valley　from　the　heights　of
Pont…de…Ruan　to　the　chateau　d'Azay；　following　the　windings　of　the
further　shore；　picturesquely　varied　by　the　towers　of　Frapesle；　the
church；　the　village；　and　the　old　manor…house　of　Sache；　whose　venerable
pile　looked　down　upon　the　meadows。

In　harmony　with　this　reposeful　life；　and　without　other　excitements　to
emotion　than　those　arising　in　the　family；　this　scene　conveyed　to　the
soul　its　own　serenity。　If　I　had　met　her　there　for　the　first　time；
between　the　count　and　her　two　children；　instead　of　seeing　her
resplendent　in　a　ball　dress；　I　should　not　have　ravished　that　delirious
kiss；　which　now　filled　me　with　remorse　and　with　the　fear　of　having
lost　the　future　of　my　love。　No；　in　the　gloom　of　my　unhappy　life　I
should　have　bent　my　knee　and　kissed　the　hem　of　her　garment；　wetting　it
with　tears；　and　then　I　might　have　flung　myself　into　the　Indre。　But
having　breathed　the　jasmine　perfume　of　her　skin　and　drunk　the　milk　of
that　cup　of　love；　my　soul　had　acquired　the　knowledge　and　the　hope　of
human　joys；　I　would　live　and　await　the　coming　of　happiness　as　the
savage　awaits　his　hour　of　vengeance；　I　longed　to　climb　those　trees；　to
creep　among　the　vines；　to　float　in　the　river；　I　wanted　the
companionship　of　night　and　its　silence；　I　needed　lassitude　of　body；　I
craved　the　heat　of　the　sun　to　make　the　eating　of　the　delicious　apple
into　which　I　had　bitten　perfect。　Had　she　asked　of　me　the　singing
flower；　the　riches　buried　by　the　comrades　of　Morgan　the　destroyer；　I
would　have　sought　them；　to　obtain　those　other　riches　and　that　mute
flower　for　which　I　longed。

When　my　dream；　the　dream　into　which　this　first　contemplation　of　my
idol　plunged　me；　came　to　an　end　and　I　heard　her　speaking　of　Monsieur
de　Mortsauf；　the　thought　came　that　a　woman　must　belong　to　her　husband；
and　a　raging　curiosity　possessed　me　to　see　the　owner　of　this　treasure。
Two　emotions　filled　my　mind；　hatred　and　fear；hatred　which　allowed　of
no　obstacles　and　measured　all　without　shrinking；　and　a　vague；　but　real
fear　of　the　struggle；　of　its　issue；　and　above　all　of　HER。

〃Here　is　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；〃　she　said。

I　sprang　to　my　feet　like　a　startled　horse。　Though　the　movement　was
seen　by　Monsieur　de　Chessel　and　the　countess；　neither　made　any
observation；　for　a　diversion　was　effected　at　this　moment　by　the
entrance　of　a　little　girl；　whom　I　took　to　be　about　six　years　old；　who
came　in　exclaiming；　〃Here's　papa！〃

〃Madeleine？〃　said　her　mother；　gently。

The　child　at　once　held　out　her　hand　to　Monsieur　de　Chessel；　and　looked
attentively　at　me　after　making　a　little　bow　with　an　air　of
astonishment。

〃Are　you　more　satisfied　about　her　health？〃　asked　Monsieur　de　Chessel。

〃She　is　better；〃　replied　the　countess；　caressing　the　little　head　which
was　already　nestling　in　her　lap。

The　next　question　of　Monsieur　de　Chessel　let　me　know　that　Madeleine
was　nine　years　old；　I　showed　great　surprise；　and　immediately　the
clouds　gathered　on　the　mother's　brow。　My　companion　threw　me　a
significant　look；one　of　those　which　form　the　education　of　men　of　the
world。　I　had　stumbled　no　doubt　upon　some　maternal　wound　the　covering
of　which　should　have　been　respected。　The　sickly　child；　whose　eyes　were
pallid　and　whose　skin　was　white　as　a　porcelain　vase　with　a　light
within　it；　would　probably　not　have　lived　in　the　atmosphere　of　a　city。
Country　air　and　her　mother's　brooding　care　had　kept　the　life　in　that
frail　body；　delicate　as　a　hot…house　plant　growing　in　a　harsh　and
foreign　climate。　Though　in　nothing　did　she　remind　me　of　her　mother；
Madeleine　seemed　to　have　her　soul；　and　that　soul　held　her　up。　Her　hair
was　scanty　and　black；　her　eyes　and　cheeks　hollow；　her　arms　thin；　her
chest　narrow；　showing　a　battle　between　life　and　death；　a　duel　without
truce　in　which　the　mother　had　so　far　been　victorious。　The　child　willed
to　live；perhaps　to　spare　her　mother；　for　at　times；　when　not
observed；　she　fell　into　the　attitude　of　a　weeping…willow。　You　might
have　thought　her　a　little　gypsy　dying　of　hunger；　begging　her　way；
exhausted　but　always　brave　and　dressed　up　to　play　her　part。

〃Where　have　you　left　Jacques？〃　asked　the　countess；　kissing　the　white
line　which　parted　the　child's　hair　into　two　bands　that　looked　like　a
crow's　wings。

〃He　is　coming　with　papa。〃

Just　then　the　count　entered；　holding　his　son　by　the　hand。　Jacques；　the
image　of　his　sister；　showed　the　same　signs　of　weakness。　Seeing　these
sickly　children　beside　a　mother　so　magnificently　healthy　it　was
impossible　not　to　guess　at　the　causes　of　the　grief　which　clouded　her
brow　and　kept　her　silent　on　a　subject　she　could　take　to　God　only。　As
he　bowed；　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　gave　me　a　glance　that　was　less
observing　than　awkwardly　uneasy；the　glance　of　a　man　whose　distrust
grows　out　of　his　inability　to　analyze。　After　explaining　the
circumstances　of　our　visit；　and　naming　me　to　him；　the　countess　gave
him　her　place　and　left　the　room。　The　children；　whose　eyes　were　on
those　of　their　mother　as　if　they　drew　the　light　of　theirs　from　hers；
tried　to　follow　her；　but　she　said；　with　a　finger　on　her　lips；　〃Stay
dears！〃　and　they　obeyed；　but　their　eyes　filled。　Ah！　to　hear　that　one
word　〃dears〃　what　tasks　they　would　have　undertaken！


Like　the　children；　I　felt　less　warm　when　she　had　left　us。　My　name
seemed　to　change　the　count's　feeling　toward　me。　Cold　and　supercilious
in　his　first　glance；　he　became　at　once；　if　not　affectionate；　at　least
politely　attentive；　showing　me　every　consideration　and　seeming　pleased
to　receive　me　as　a　guest。　My　father　had　formerly　done　devoted　service
to　the　Bourbons；　and　had　played　an　important　and　perilous；　though
secret　part。　When　their　cause　was　lost　by　the　elevation　of　Napoleon；
he　took　refuge　in　the　quietu