the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第38章

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towards　the　Indre；　the　punt；　the　meadows；　showed　me　that　in　my　absence
she　had　come　to　many　an　understanding　with　those　misty　horizons　and
their　vaporous　outline。　Nature　was　a　mantle　which　sheltered　her
thoughts。　She　now　knew　what　the　nightingale　was　sighing　the　livelong
night；　what　the　songster　of　the　sedges　hymned　with　his　plaintive　note。

At　eight　o'clock　that　evening　I　was　witness　of　a　scene　which　touched
me　deeply；　and　which　I　had　never　yet　witnessed；　for　in　my　former
visits　I　had　played　backgammon　with　the　count　while　his　wife　took　the
children　into　the　dining…room　before　their　bedtime。　The　bell　rang
twice；　and　all　the　servants　of　the　household　entered　the　room。

〃You　are　now　our　guest　and　must　submit　to　convent　rule；〃　said　the
countess；　leading　me　by　the　hand　with　that　air　of　innocent　gaiety
which　distinguishes　women　who　are　naturally　pious。

The　count　followed。　Masters；　children；　and　servants　knelt　down；　all
taking　their　regular　places。　It　was　Madeleine's　turn　to　read　the
prayers。　The　dear　child　said　them　in　her　childish　voice；　the　ingenuous
tones　of　which　rose　clear　in　the　harmonious　silence　of　the　country；
and　gave　to　the　words　the　candor　of　holy　innocence；　the　grace　of
angels。　It　was　the　most　affecting　prayer　I　ever　heard。　Nature　replied
to　the　child's　voice　with　the　myriad　murmurs　of　the　coming　night；　like
the　low　accompaniment　of　an　organ　lightly　touched；　Madeleine　was　on
the　right　of　the　countess；　Jacques　on　her　left。　The　graceful　curly
heads；　between　which　rose　the　smooth　braids　of　the　mother；　and　above
all　three　the　perfectly　white　hair　and　yellow　cranium　of　the　father；
made　a　picture　which　repeated；　in　some　sort；　the　ideas　aroused　by　the
melody　of　the　prayer。　As　if　to　fulfil　all　conditions　of　the　unity
which　marks　the　sublime；　this　calm　and　collected　group　were　bathed　in
the　fading　light　of　the　setting　sun；　its　red　tints　coloring　the　room；
impelling　the　soulbe　it　poetic　or　superstitiousto　believe　that　the
fires　of　heaven　were　visiting　these　faithful　servants　of　God　as　they
knelt　there　without　distinction　of　rank；　in　the　equality　which　heaven
demands。　Thinking　back　to　the　days　of　the　patriarchs　my　mind　still
further　magnified　this　scene；　so　grand　in　its　simplicity。

The　children　said　good…night；　the　servants　bowed；　the　countess　went
away　holding　a　child　by　each　hand；　and　I　returned　to　the　salon　with
the　count。

〃We　provide　you　with　salvation　there；　and　hell　here；〃　he　said；
pointing　to　the　backgammon…board。

The　countess　returned　in　half　an　hour；　and　brought　her　frame　near　the
table。

〃This　is　for　you；〃　she　said；　unrolling　the　canvas；　〃but　for　the　last
three　months　it　has　languished。　Between　that　rose　and　this　heartsease
my　poor　child　was　ill。〃

〃Come；　come；〃　said　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　〃don't　talk　of　that　any　more。
Sixfive；　emissary　of　the　king！〃

When　alone　in　my　room　I　hushed　my　breathing　that　I　might　hear　her
passing　to　and　fro　in　hers。　She　was　calm　and　pure；　but　I　was　lashed
with　maddening　ideas。　〃Why　should　she　not　be　mine？〃　I　thought；
〃perhaps　she　is；　like　me；　in　this　whirlwind　of　agitation。〃　At　one
o'clock；　I　went　down；　walking　noiselessly；　and　lay　before　her　door。
With　my　ear　pressed　to　a　chink　I　could　hear　her　equable；　gentle
breathing；　like　that　of　a　child。　When　chilled　to　the　bone　I　went　back
to　bed　and　slept　tranquilly　till　morning。　I　know　not　what　prenatal
influence；　what　nature　within　me；　causes　the　delight　I　take　in　going
to　the　brink　of　precipices；　sounding　the　gulf　of　evil；　seeking　to　know
its　depths；　feeling　its　icy　chill；　and　retreating　in　deep　emotion。
That　hour　of　night　passed　on　the　threshold　of　her　door　where　I　wept
with　rage；though　she　never　knew　that　on　the　morrow　her　foot　had　trod
upon　my　tears　and　kisses；　on　her　virtue　first　destroyed　and　then
respected；　cursed　and　adored；that　hour；　foolish　in　the　eyes　of　many；
was　nevertheless　an　inspiration　of　the　same　mysterious　impulse　which
impels　the　soldier。　Many　have　told　me　they　have　played　their　lives
upon　it；　flinging　themselves　before　a　battery　to　know　if　they　could
escape　the　shot；　happy　in　thus　galloping　into　the　abyss　of
probabilities；　and　smoking　like　Jean　Bart　upon　the　gunpowder。

The　next　day　I　went　to　gather　flowers　and　made　two　bouquets。　The　count
admired　them；　though　generally　nothing　of　the　kind　appealed　to　him。
The　clever　saying　of　Champcenetz；　〃He　builds　dungeons　in　Spain；〃
seemed　to　have　been　made　for　him。

I　spent　several　days　at　Clochegourde；　going　but　seldom　to　Frapesle；
where；　however；　I　dined　three　times。　The　French　army　now　occupied
Tours。　Though　my　presence　was　health　and　strength　to　Madame　de
Mortsauf；　she　implored　me　to　make　my　way　to　Chateauroux；　and　so　round
by　Issoudun　and　Orleans　to　Paris　with　what　haste　I　could。　I　tried　to
resist；　but　she　commanded　me；　saying　that　my　guardian　angel　spoke。　I
obeyed。　Our　farewell　was；　this　time；　dim　with　tears；　she　feared　the
allurements　of　the　life　I　was　about　to　live。　Is　it　not　a　serious　thing
to　enter　the　maelstrom　of　interests；　passions；　and　pleasures　which
make　Paris　a　dangerous　ocean　for　chaste　love　and　purity　of　conscience？
I　promised　to　write　to　her　every　night；　relating　the　events　and
thoughts　of　the　day；　even　the　most　trivial。　When　I　gave　the　promise
she　laid　her　head　on　my　shoulder　and　said：　〃Leave　nothing　out；
everything　will　interest　me。〃

She　gave　me　letters　for　the　duke　and　duchess；　which　I　delivered　the
second　day　after　my　return。

〃You　are　in　luck；〃　said　the　duke；　〃dine　here　to…day；　and　go　with　me
this　evening　to　the　Chateau；　your　fortune　is　made。　The　king　spoke　of
you　this　morning；　and　said；　'He　is　young；　capable；　and　trustworthy。'
His　Majesty　added　that　he　wished　he　knew　whether　you　were　living　or
dead；　and　in　what　part　of　France　events　had　thrown　you　after　you　had
executed　your　mission　so　ably。〃

That　night　I　was　appointed　master　of　petitions　to　the　council　of
State；　and　I　also　received　a　private　and　permanent　place　in　the
employment　of　Louis　XVIII。　himself；a　confidential　position；　not
highly　distinguished；　but　without　any　risks；　a　position　which　put　me
at　the　very　heart　of　the　government　and　has　been　the　source　of　all　my
subsequent　prosperity。　Madame　de　Mortsauf　had　judged　rightly。　I　now
owed　everything　to　her；　power　and　wealth；　happiness　and　knowledge；　she
guided　and　encouraged　me；　purified　my　heart；　and　gave　to　my　will　that
unity　of　purpose　without　which　the　powers　of　youth　are　wasted。　Later　I
had　a　colleague；　we　each　served　six　months。　We　were　allowed　to　supply
each　other's　place　if　necessary；　we　had　rooms　at　the　Chateau；　a
carriage；　and　large　allowances　for　travelling　when　absent　on　missions。
Strange　position！　We　were　the　secret　disciples　of　a　monarch　in　a
policy　to　which　even　his　enemies　have　since　done　signal　justice；　alone
with　us　he　gave　judgment　on　all　things；　foreign　and　domestic；　yet　we
had　no　legitimate　influence；　often　we　were　consulted　like　Laforet　by
Moliere；　and　made　to　feel　that　the　hesitations　of　long　experience　were
confirmed　or　removed　by　the　vigorous　perceptions　of　youth。

In　other　respects　my　future　was　secured　in　a　manner　to　satisfy
ambition。　Beside　my　salary　as　master　of　petitions；　paid　by　the　budget
of　the　council　of　State；　the　king　gave　me　a　thousand　francs　a　month
from　his　privy　purse；　and　often　himself　added　more　to　it。　Though　the
king　knew　well　that　no　young　man　of　twenty…three　could　long　bear　up
under　the　labors　with　which　he　loaded　me；　my　colleague；　now　a　peer　of
France；　was　not　appointed　till　August；　1817。　The　choice　was　a
difficult　one；　our　functions　demanded　so　many　capabilities　that　the
king　was　long　in　coming　to　a　decision。　He　did　me　the　honor　to　ask
which　of　the　young　men　among　whom　he　was　hesitating　I　should　like　for
an　associate。　Among　them　was　one　who　had　been　my　school…fellow　at
Lepitre's；　I　did　not　select　him。　His　Majesty　asked　why。

〃The　king；〃　I　replied；　〃chooses　men　who　are　equally　faithful；　but
whose　capabilities　differ。　I　choose　the　one　whom　I　think　the　most
able；　certain　that　I　shall　always　be　able　to　get　on　with　him。〃

My　judgment　coincided　with　that　of　the　king；　who　was　pleased　with　the
sacrifice　I　had　made。　He　said　on　this　occasion；　〃You　are　to　be　the
chief〃；　and　he　related　these