the lily of the valley(幽谷百合)-第33章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　to　know　if　your　education；　derived　wholly　from　schools；　has
　　injured　your　nature。　God　knows　the　joy　with　which　I　find　you　fit
　　for　that　further　education　of　which　I　speak。

　　The　manners　of　many　who　are　brought　up　in　the　traditions　of　the
　　great　world　are　purely　external；　true　politeness；　perfect　manners；
　　come　from　the　heart；　and　from　a　deep　sense　of　personal　dignity。
　　This　is　why　some　men　of　noble　birth　are；　in　spite　of　their
　　training；　ill…mannered；　while　others；　among　the　middle　classes；
　　have　instinctive　good　taste　and　only　need　a　few　lessons　to　give
　　them　excellent　manners　without　any　signs　of　awkward　imitation。
　　Believe　a　poor　woman　who　no　longer　leaves　her　valley　when　she
　　tells　you　that　this　dignity　of　tone；　this　courteous　simplicity　in
　　words；　in　gesture；　in　bearing；　and　even　in　the　character　of　the
　　home；　is　a　living　and　material　poem；　the　charm　of　which　is
　　irresistible；　imagine　therefore　what　it　is　when　it　takes　its
　　inspiration　from　the　heart。　Politeness；　dear；　consists　in　seeming
　　to　forget　ourselves　for　others；　with　many　it　is　social　cant；　laid
　　aside　when　personal　self…interest　shows　its　cloven…foot；　a　noble
　　then　becomes　ignoble。　Butand　this　is　what　I　want　you　to
　　practise；　Felixtrue　politeness　involves　a　Christian　principle；
　　it　is　the　flower　of　Love；　it　requires　that　we　forget　ourselves
　　really。　In　memory　of　your　Henriette；　for　her　sake；　be　not　a
　　fountain　without　water；　have　the　essence　and　the　form　of　true　
　　courtesy。　Never　fear　to　be　the　dupe　and　victim　of　this　social
　　virtue；　you　will　some　day　gather　the　fruit　of　seeds　scattered
　　apparently　to　the　winds。

　　My　father　used　to　say　that　one　of　the　great　offences　of　sham
　　politeness　was　the　neglect　of　promises。　When　anything　is　demanded
　　of　you　that　you　cannot　do；　refuse　positively　and　leave　no
　　loopholes　for　false　hopes；　on　the　other　hand；　grant　at　once
　　whatever　you　are　willing　to　bestow。　Your　prompt　refusal　will　make
　　you　friends　as　well　as　your　prompt　benefit；　and　your　character
　　will　stand　the　higher；　for　it　is　hard　to　say　whether　a　promise
　　forgotten；　a　hope　deceived　does　not　make　us　more　enemies　than　a
　　favor　granted　brings　us　friends。

　　Dear　friend；　there　are　certain　little　matters　on　which　I　may
　　dwell；　for　I　know　them；　and　it　comes　within　my　province　to　impart
　　them。　Be　not　too　confiding；　nor　frivolous；　nor　over　enthusiastic；
　　three　rocks　on　which　youth　often　strikes。　Too　confiding　a　nature
　　loses　respect；　frivolity　brings　contempt；　and　others　take
　　advantage　of　excessive　enthusiasm。　In　the　first　place；　Felix；　you
　　will　never　have　more　than　two　or　three　friends　in　the　course　of
　　your　life。　Your　entire　confidence　is　their　right；　to　give　it　to
　　many　is　to　betray　your　real　friends。　If　you　are　more　intimate　with
　　some　men　than　with　others　keep　guard　over　yourself；　be　as　cautious
　　as　though　you　knew　they　would　one　day　be　your　rivals；　or　your
　　enemies；　the　chances　and　changes　of　life　require　this。　Maintain　an
　　attitude　which　is　neither　cold　nor　hot；　find　the　medium　point　at
　　which　a　man　can　safely　hold　intercourse　with　others　without
　　compromising　himself。　Yes；　believe　me；　the　honest　man　is　as　far
　　from　the　base　cowardice　of　Philinte　as　he　is　from　the　harsh　virtue
　　of　Alceste。　The　genius　of　the　poet　is　displayed　in　the　mind　of
　　this　true　medium；　certainly　all　minds　do　enjoy　more　the　ridicule
　　of　virtue　than　the　sovereign　contempt　of　easy…going　selfishness
　　which　underlies　that　picture　of　it；　but　all；　nevertheless；　are
　　prompted　to　keep　themselves　from　either　extreme。

　　As　to　frivolity；　if　it　causes　fools　to　proclaim　you　a　charming
　　man；　others　who　are　accustomed　to　judge　of　men's　capacities　and
　　fathom　character；　will　winnow　out　your　tare　and　bring　you　to
　　disrepute；　for　frivolity　is　the　resource　of　weak　natures；　and
　　weakness　is　soon　appraised　in　a　society　which　regards　its　members
　　as　nothing　more　than　organsand　perhaps　justly；　for　nature
　　herself　puts　to　death　imperfect　beings。　A　woman's　protecting
　　instincts　may　be　roused　by　the　pleasure　she　feels　in　supporting
　　the　weak　against　the　strong；　and　in　leading　the　intelligence　of
　　the　heart　to　victory　over　the　brutality　of　matter；　but　society；
　　less　a　mother　than　a　stepmother；　adores　only　the　children　who
　　flatter　her　vanity。

　　As　to　ardent　enthusiasm；　that　first　sublime　mistake　of　youth；
　　which　finds　true　happiness　in　using　its　powers；　and　begins　by
　　being　its　own　dupe　before　it　is　the　dupe　of　others；　keep　it　within
　　the　region　of　the　heart's　communion；　keep　it　for　woman　and　for
　　God。　Do　not　hawk　its　treasures　in　the　bazaars　of　society　or　of
　　politics；　where　trumpery　will　be　offered　in　exchange　for　them。
　　Believe　the　voice　which　commands　you　to　be　noble　in　all　things
　　when　it　also　prays　you　not　to　expend　your　forces　uselessly。
　　Unhappily；　men　will　rate　you　according　to　your　usefulness；　and　not
　　according　to　your　worth。　To　use　an　image　which　I　think　will　strike
　　your　poetic　mind；　let　a　cipher　be　what　it　may；　immeasurable　in
　　size；　written　in　gold；　or　written　in　pencil；　it　is　only　a　cipher
　　after　all。　A　man　of　our　times　has　said；　〃No　zeal；　above　all；　no
　　zeal！〃　The　lesson　may　be　sad；　but　it　is　true；　and　it　saves　the
　　soul　from　wasting　its　bloom。　Hide　your　pure　sentiments；　or　put
　　them　in　regions　inaccessible；　where　their　blossoms　may　be
　　passionately　admired；　where　the　artist　may　dream　amorously　of　his
　　master…piece。　But　duties；　my　friend；　are　not　sentiments。　To　do
　　what　we　ought　is　by　no　means　to　do　what　we　like。　A　man　who　would
　　give　his　life　enthusiastically　for　a　woman　must　be　ready　to　die
　　coldly　for　his　country。

　　One　of　the　most　important　rules　in　the　science　of　manners　is　that
　　of　almost　absolute　silence　about　ourselves。　Play　a　little　comedy
　　for　your　own　instruction；　talk　of　yourself　to　acquaintances；　tell
　　them　about　your　sufferings；　your　pleasures；　your　business；　and　you
　　will　see　how　indifference　succeeds　pretended　interest；　then
　　annoyance　follows；　and　if　the　mistress　of　the　house　does　not　find
　　some　civil　way　of　stopping　you　the　company　will　disappear　under
　　various　pretexts　adroitly　seized。　Would　you；　on　the　other　hand；
　　gather　sympathies　about　you　and　be　spoken　of　as　amiable　and　witty；
　　and　a　true　friend？　talk　to　others　of　themselves；　find　a　way　to
　　bring　them　forward；　and　brows　will　clear；　lips　will　smile；　and
　　after　you　leave　the　room　all　present　will　praise　you。　Your
　　conscience　and　the　voice　of　your　own　heart　will　show　you　the　line
　　where　the　cowardice　of　flattery　begins　and　the　courtesy　of
　　intercourse　ceases。

　　One　word　more　about　a　young　man's　demeanor　in　public。　My　dear
　　friend；　youth　is　always　inclined　to　a　rapidity　of　judgment　which
　　does　it　honor；　but　also　injury。　This　was　why　the　old　system　of
　　education　obliged　young　people　to　keep　silence　and　study　life　in　a
　　probationary　period　beside　their　elders。　Formerly；　as　you　know；
　　nobility；　like　art；　had　its　apprentices；　its　pages；　devoted　body
　　and　soul　to　the　masters　who　maintained　them。　To…day　youth　is
　　forced　in　a　hot…house；　it　is　trained　to　judge　of　thoughts；
　　actions；　and　writings　with　biting　severity；　it　slashes　with　a
　　blade　that　has　not　been　fleshed。　Do　not　make　this　mistake。　Such
　　judgments　will　seem　like　censures　to　many　about　you；　who　would
　　sooner　pardon　an　open　rebuke　than　a　secret　wound。　Young　people　are
　　pitiless　because　they　know　nothing　of　life　and　its　difficulties。
　　The　old　critic　is　kind　and　considerate；　the　young　critic　is
　　implacable；　the　one　knows　nothing；　the　other　knows　all。　Moreover；
　　at　the　bottom　of　all　human　actions　there　is　a　labyrinth　of
　　determining　reasons　on　which　God　reserves　for　himself　the　final
　　judgment。　Be　severe　therefore　to　none　but　yourself。

　　Your　future　is　before　you；　but　no　one　in　the　world　can　make　his
　　way　unaided。　Therefore；　make　use　of　my　father's　house；　its　doors
　　are　open　to　you；　the　connections　that　you　will　create　for　yourself
　　under　his　roof　will　serve　you　in　a　hundred　ways。　But　do　not　yield
　　an　inch　of　ground　to　my　mother；　she　will　crush　any　one　who　gives
　　up　to　her；　but　she　will　admire　the　courage　of　whoever　resists　her。
　　She