letters to his son, 1748-第25章

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　innocently；　implacably　offend。　　Inform　yourself　of　the　characters　and　situations　of　the　company；　before　you　give　way　to　what　your　imagination　may　prompt　you　to　say。　　There　are；　in　all　companies；　more　wrong　beads　than　right　ones；　and　many　more　who　deserve；　than　who　like　censure。　　Should　you　therefore　expatiate　in　the　praise　of　some　virtue；　which　some　in　company　notoriously　want；　or　declaim　against　any　vice；　which　others　are　notoriously　infected　with；　your　reflections；　however　general　and　unapplied；　will；　by　being　applicable；　be　thought　personal　and　leveled　at　those　people。　　This　consideration　points　out　to　you；　sufficiently；　not　to　be　suspicious　and　captious　yourself；　nor　to　suppose　that　things；　because　they　may　be；　are　therefore　meant　at　you。　The　manners　of　well…bred　people　secure　one　from　those　indirect　and　mean　attacks；　but　if；　by　chance；　a　flippant　woman　or　a　pert　coxcomb　lets　off　anything　of　that　kind；　it　is　much　better　not　to　seem　to　understand；　than　to　reply　to　it。

Cautiously　avoid　talking　of　either　your　own　or　other　people's　domestic　affairs。　　Yours　are　nothing　to　them　but　tedious；　theirs　are　nothing　to　you。　　The　subject　is　a　tender　one：　and　it　is　odds　but　that　you　touch　somebody　or　other's　sore　place：　for；　in　this　case；　there　is　no　trusting　to　specious　appearances；　which　may　be；　and　often　are；　so　contrary　to　the　real　situations　of　things；　between　men　and　their　wives；　parents　and　their　children；　seeming　friends；　etc。；　that；　with　the　best　intentions　in　the　world；　one　often　blunders　disagreeably。

Remember　that　the　wit；　humor；　and　jokes；　of　most　mixed　companies　are　local。　　They　thrive　in　that　particular　soil；　but　will　not　often　bear　transplanting。　　Every　company　is　differently　circumstanced；　has　its　particular　cant　and　jargon；　which　may　give　occasion　to　wit　and　mirth　within　that　circle；　but　would　seem　flat　and　insipid　in　any　other；　and　therefore　will　not　bear　repeating。　　Nothing　makes　a　man　look　sillier　than　a　pleasantry　not　relished　or　not　understood；　and　if　he　meets　with　a　profound　silence　when　he　expected　a　general　applause；　or；　what　is　worse；　if　he　is　desired　to　explain　the　bon　mot；　his　awkward　and　embarrassed　situation　is　easier　imagined'　than　described。　　'A　propos'　of　repeating；　take　great　care　never　to　repeat　（I　do　not　mean　here　the　pleasantries）　in　one　company　what　you　hear　in　another。　　Things；　seemingly　indifferent；　may；　by　circulation；　have　much　graver　consequences　than　you　would　imagine。　　Besides；　there　is　a　general　tacit　trust　in　conversation；　by　which　a　man　is　obliged　not　to　report　anything　out　of　it；　though　he　is　not　immediately　enjoined　to　secrecy。　　A　retailer　of　this　kind　is　sure　to　draw　himself　into　a　thousand　scrapes　and　discussions；　and　to　be　shyly　and　uncomfortably　received　wherever　he　goes。

You　will　find；　in　most　good　company；　some　people　who　only　keep　their　place　there　by　a　contemptible　title　enough；　these　are　what　we　call　VERY　GOOD…NATURED　FELLOWS；　and　the　French；　'bons　diables'。　　The　truth　is；　they　are　people　without　any　parts　or　fancy；　and　who；　having　no　will　of　their　own；　readily　assent　to；　concur　in；　and　applaud；　whatever　is　said　or　done　in　the　company；　and　adopt；　with　the　same　alacrity；　the　most　virtuous　or　the　most　criminal；　the　wisest　or　the　silliest　scheme；　that　happens　to　be　entertained　by　the　majority　of　the　company。　　This　foolish；　and　often　criminal　complaisance　flows　from　a　foolish　cause；the　want　of　any　other　merit。　　I　hope　that　you　will　hold　your　place　in　company　by　a　nobler　tenure；　and　that　you　will　hold　it　（you　can　bear　a　quibble；　I　believe；　yet）　'in　capite'。　　Have　a　will　and　an　opinion　of　your　own；　and　adhere　to　them　steadily；　but　then　do　it　with　good　humor；　good…breeding；　and　（if　you　have　it）　with　urbanity；　for　you　have　not　yet　heard　enough　either　to　preach　or　censure。

All　other　kinds　of　complaisance　are　not　only　blameless；　but　necessary　in　good　company。　　Not　to　seem　to　perceive　the　little　weaknesses；　and　the　idle　but　innocent　affectations　of　the　company；　but　even　to　flatter　them；　in　a　certain　manner；　is　not　only　very　allowable；　but；　in　truth；　a　sort　of　polite　duty。　　They　will　be　pleased　with　you；　if　you　do；　and　will　certainly　not　be　reformed　by　you　if　you　do　not。

For　instance：　you　will　find；　in　every　group　of　company；　two　principal　figures；　viz。；　the　fine　lady　and　the　fine　gentleman　who　absolutely　give　the　law　of　wit；　language；　fashion；　and　taste；　to　the　rest　of　that　society。　　There　is　always　a　strict；　and　often　for　the　time　being；　a　tender　alliance　between　these　two　figures。　　The　lady　looks　upon　her　empire　as　founded　upon　the　divine　right　of　beauty　（and　full　as　good　a　divine　right　it　is　as　any　king；　emperor；　or　pope；　can　pretend　to）；　she　requires；　and　commonly　meets　with；　unlimited　passive　obedience。　　And　why　should　she　not　meet　with　it？　　Her　demands　go　no　higher　than　to　have　her　unquestioned　preeminence　in　beauty；　wit；　and　fashion；　firmly　established。　Few　sovereigns　（by　the　way）　are　so　reasonable。　　The　fine　gentleman's　claims　of　right　are；　'mutatis　mutandis'；　the　same；　and　though；　indeed；　he　is　not　always　a　wit　'de　jure'；　yet；　as　he　is　the　wit　'de　facto'　of　that　company；　he　is　entitled　to　a　share　of　your　allegiance；　and　everybody　expects　at　least　as　much　as　they　are　entitled　to；　if　not　something　more。　Prudence　bids　you　make　your　court　to　these　joint　sovereigns；　and　no　duty；　that　I　know　of；　forbids　it。　　Rebellion　here　is　exceedingly　dangerous；　and　inevitably　punished　by　banishment；　and　immediate　forfeiture　of　all　your　wit；　manners；　taste；　and　fashion；　as；　on　the　other　hand；　a　cheerful　submission；　not　without　some　flattery；　is　sure　to　procure　you　a　strong　recommendation　and　most　effectual　pass；　throughout　all　their；　and　probably　the　neighboring；　dominions。　　With　a　moderate　share　of　sagacity；　you　will；　before　you　have　been　half　an　hour　in　their　company；　easily　discover　those　two　principal　figures：　both　by　the　deference　which　you　will　observe　the　whole　company　pay　them；　and　by　that　easy；　careless；　and　serene　air；　which　their　consciousness　of　power　gives　them。　　As　in　this　case；　so　in　all　others；　aim　always　at　the　highest；　get　always　into　the　highest　company；　and　address　yourself　particularly　to　the　highest　in　it。　The　search　after　the　unattainable　philosopher's　stone　has　occasioned　a　thousand　useful　discoveries；　which　otherwise　would　never　have　been　made。

What　the　French　justly　call　'les　manieres　nobles'　are　only　to　be　acquired　in　the　very　best　companies。　　They　are　the　distinguishing　characteristics　of　men　of　fashion：　people　of　low　education　never　wear　them　so　close；　but　that　some　part　or　other　of　the　original　vulgarism　appears。　　'Les　manieres　nobles'　equally　forbid　insolent　contempt；　or　low　envy　and　jealousy。　　Low　people；　in　good　circumstances；　fine　clothes；　and　equipages；　will　insolently　show　contempt　for　all　those　who　cannot　afford　as　fine　clothes；　as　good　an　equipage；　and　who　have　not　（as　their　term　is）　as　much　money　in　their　pockets：　on　the　other　hand；　they　are　gnawed　with　envy；　and　cannot　help　discovering　it；　of　those　who　surpass　them　in　any　of　these　articles；　which　are　far　from　being　sure　criterions　of　merit。　　They　are　likewise　jealous　of　being　slighted；　and；　consequently；　suspicious　and　captious；　they　are　eager　and　hot　about　trifles　because　trifles　were；　at　first；　their　affairs　of　consequence。　　'Les　manieres　nobles'　imply　exactly　the　reverse　of　all　this。　　Study　them　early；　you　cannot　make　them　too　habitual　and　familiar　to　you。

Just　as　I　had　written　what　goes　before；　I　received　your　letter　of　the　24th；　N。　S。；　but　I　have　not　received　that　which　you　mention　for　Mr。　Harte。　　Yours　is　of　the　kind　that　I　desire；　for　I　want　to　see　your　private　picture；　drawn　by　yourself；　at　different　sittings；　for　though；　as　it　is　drawn　by　yourself；　I　presume　you　will　take　the　most　advantageous　likeness；　yet　I　think　that　I　have　skill　enough　in　that　kind　of　painting　to　discover　the　true　features；　though　ever　so　artfully　colored；　or　thrown　into　skillful　lights　and　shades。

By　your　account　of　the　German　play；　which　I　do　not　know　whether　I　should　call　tragedy　or　comedy；　the　only　shining　part　of　it　（since　I　am　in　a　way　of　quibbling）　seems　to　have　been　the　fox's　tail。　　I　presume；　too；　that　the　play　has　had　the　same　fate　with　the　squib；　and　has　gone　off　no　more。　I　remember　a　squib　much　better　a