letters to his son, 1748-第22章
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the carelessness of people in his company; who are accustomed to look upon him as one of them; and consequently are not upon their guard before him。 For a minister who only goes to the court he resides at; in form; to ask an audience of the prince or the minister upon his last instructions; puts them upon their guard; and will never know anything more than what they have a mind that he should know。 Here women may be put to some use。 A king's mistress; or a minister's wife or mistress; may give great and useful informations; and are very apt to do it; being proud to show that they have been trusted。 But then; in this case; the height of that sort of address; which; strikes women; is requisite; I mean that easy politeness; genteel and graceful address; and that 'exterieur brilliant' which they cannot withstand。 There is a sort of men so like women; that they are to be taken just in the same way; I mean those who are commonly called FINE MEN; who swarm at all courts; who have little reflection; and less knowledge; but; who by their good breeding; and 'train…tran' of the world; are admitted into all companies; and; by the imprudence or carelessness of their superiors; pick up secrets worth knowing; which are easily got out of them by proper address。 Adieu。
LETTER LIII
BATH; October 12; O。 S。 1748。
DEAR BOY: I came here three days ago upon account of a disorder in my stomach; which affected my head and gave me vertigo。 I already find myself something better; and consequently do not doubt but that the course of these waters will set me quite right。 But however and wherever I am; your welfare; your character; your knowledge; and your morals; employ my thoughts more than anything that can happen to me; or that I can fear or hope for myself。 I am going off the stage; you are coming upon it; with me what has been; has been; and reflection now would come too late; with you everything is to come; even; in some manner; reflection itself; so that this is the very time when my reflections; the result of experience; may be of use to you; by supplying the want of yours。 As soon as you leave Leipsig; you will gradually be going into the great world; where the first impressions that you shall give of yourself will be of great importance to you; but those which you shall receive will be decisive; for they always stick。 To keep good company; especially at your first setting out; is the way to receive good impressions。 If you ask me what I mean by good company; I will confess to you that it is pretty difficult to define; but I will endeavor to make you understand it as well as I can。
Good company is not what respective sets of company are pleased either to call or think themselves; but it is that company which all the people of the place call; and acknowledge to be; good company; notwithstanding some objections which they may form to some of the individuals who compose it。 It consists chiefly (but by no means without exception) of people of considerable birth; rank; and character; for people of neither birth nor rank are frequently; and very justly admitted into it; if distinguished by any peculiar merit; or eminency in any liberal art or science。 Nay; so motly a thing is good company; that many people; without birth; rank; or merit; intrude into it by their own forwardness; and others slide into it by the protection of some considerable person; and some even of indifferent characters and morals make part of it。 But in the main; the good part preponderates; and people of infamous and blasted characters are never admitted。 In this fashionable good company; the best manners and the best language of the place are most unquestionably to be learned; for they establish and give the tone to both; which are therefore called the language and manners of good company: there being no legal tribunal to ascertain either。
A company; consisting wholly of people of the first quality; cannot; for that reason; be called good company; in the common acceptation of the phrase; unless they are; into the bargain; the fashionable and accredited company of the place; for people of the very first quality can be as silly; as ill…bred; and as worthless; as people of the meanest degree。 On the other hand; a company consisting entirely of people of very low condition; whatever their merit or parts may be; can never be called good company; and consequently should not be much frequented; though by no means despised。
A company wholly composed of men of learning; though greatly to be valued and respected; is not meant by the words GOOD COMPANY; they cannot have the easy manners and; 'tournure' of the world; as they do not live in it。 If you can bear your part well in such a company; it is extremely right to be in it sometimes; and you will be but more esteemed in other companies; for having a place in that。 But then do not let it engross you; for if you do; you will be only considered as one of the 'literati' by profession; which is not the way either; to shine; or rise in the world。
The company of professed wits and pests is extremely inviting to most young men; who if they have wit themselves; are pleased with it; and if they have none; are sillily proud of being one of it: but it should be frequented with moderation and judgment; and you should by no means give yourself up to it。 A wit is a very unpopular denomination; as it carries terror along with it; and people in general are as much afraid of a live wit; in company; as a woman is of a gun; which she thinks may go off of itself; and do her a mischief。 Their acquaintance is; however; worth seeking; and their company worth frequenting; but not exclusively of others; nor to such a degree as to be considered only as one of that particular set。
But the company; which of all others you should most carefully avoid; is that low company; which; in every sense of the word; is low indeed; low in rank; low in parts; low in manners; and low in merit。 You will; perhaps; be surprised that I should think it necessary to warn you against such company; but yet I do not think it wholly; unnecessary; from the many instances which I have seen of men of sense and rank; discredited; verified; and undone; by keeping such company。
Vanity; that source of many of our follies; and of some of our crimes; has sunk many a man into company; in every light infinitely; below himself; for the sake of being the first man in it。 There he dictates; is applauded; admired; and; for the sake of being the Coryphceus of that wretched chorus; disgraces and disqualifies himself soon for any better company。 Depend upon it; you will sink or rise to the level of the company which you commonly keep: people will judge of you; and not unreasonably; by that。 There is good sense in the Spanish saying; 〃Tell me whom you live with; and I will tell you who you are。〃 Make it therefore your business; wherever you are; to get into that company which everybody in the place allows to be the best company next to their own; which is the best definition that I can give you of good company。 But here; too; one caution is very necessary; for want of which many young men have been ruined; even in good company。
Good company (as I have before observed) is composed of a great variety of fashionable people; whose characters and morals are very different; though their manners are pretty much the same。 When a young man; new in the world; first gets into that company; he very rightly determines to conform to; and imitate it。 But then he too often; and fatally; mistakes the objects of his imitation。 He has often heard that absurd term of genteel and fashionable vices。 He there sees some people who shine; and who in general are admired and esteemed; and observes that these people are whoremasters; drunkards; or gamesters; upon which he adopts their vices; mistaking their defects for their perfections; and thinking that they owe their fashions and their luster to those genteel vices。 Whereas it is exactly the reverse; for these people have acquired their reputation by their parts; their learning; their good…breeding; and other real accomplishments: and are only blemished and lowered; in the opinions of all reasonable people; and of their own; in