the diary of a goose girl-第8章

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I　have　caught　and　put　in　with　his　brothers　and　sisters　（whom　he
never　recognises）　so　frequently　and　regularly　that　I　am　familiar
with　every　joint　in　his　body？

In　the　first　place；　with　my　own　small　bump　of　locality　and　lack　of
geography；　I　would　never　willingly　consume　a　creature　who　might；　by
some　strange　process　of　assimilation；　make　me　worse　in　this
respect；　in　the　second　place；　I　should　have　to　be　ravenous　indeed
to　sit　down　deliberately　and　make　a　meal　of　an　intimate　friend；　no
matter　if　I　had　not　a　high　opinion　of　his　intelligence。　　I　should
as　soon　think　of　eating　the　Square　Baby；　stuffed　with　sage　and
onion　and　garnished　with　green　apple…sauce；　as　the　yellow　duckling
or　the　idiot　gosling。

Mrs。　Heaven　has　just　called　me　into　her　sitting…room；　ostensibly　to
ask　me　to　order　breakfast；　but　really　for　the　pleasure　of
conversation。　　Why　she　should　inquire　whether　I　would　relish　some
gammon　of　bacon　with　eggs；　when　she　knows　that　there　has　not　been；
is　not　now；　and　never　will　be；　anything　but　gammon　of　bacon　with
eggs；　is　more　than　I　can　explain。

〃Would　you　like　to　see　my　flowers；　miss？〃　she　asks；　folding　her
plump　hands　over　her　white　apron。　　〃They　are　looking　beautiful　this
morning。　　I　am　so　fond　of　potted　plants；　of　plants　in　pots。　　Look
at　these　geraniums！　　Now；　I　consider　that　pink　one　a　perfect　bloom；
yes；　a　perfect　bloom。　　This　is　a　fine　red　one；　is　it　not；　miss？
Especially　fine；　don't　you　think？　　The　trouble　with　the　red　variety
is　that　they're　apt　to　get　〃bobby〃　and　have　to　be　washed　regularly；
quite　bobby　they　do　get　indeed；　I　assure　you。　　That　white　one　has
just　gone　out　of　blossom；　and　it　was　really　wonderful。　　You　could
'ardly　have　told　it　from　a　paper　flower；　miss；　not　from　a　white
paper　flower。　　My　plants　are　my　children　nowadays；　since　Albert
Edward　is　my　only　care。　　I　have　been　the　mother　of　eleven　children；
miss；　all　of　them　living；　so　far　as　I　know；　I　know　nothing　to　the
contrary。　　I　'ope　you　are　not　wearying　of　this　solitary　place；
miss？　　It　will　grow　upon　you；　I　am　sure；　as　it　did　upon　Mrs。
Pollock；　with　all　her　peculiar　fancies；　and　as　it　'as　grown　upon
us。We　formerly　had　a　butcher's　shop　in　Buffington；　and　it　was
naturally　a　great　responsibility。　　Mr。　Heaven's　nerves　are　not
strong；　and　at　last　he　wanted　a　life　of　more　quietude；　more
quietude　was　what　he　craved。　　The　life　of　a　retail　butcher　is　a
most　exciting　and　wearying　one。　　Nobody　satisfied　with　their　meat；
as　if　it　mattered　in　a　world　of　change！　　Everybody　complaining　of
too　much　bone　or　too　little　fat；　nobody　wishing　tough　chops　or
cutlets；　but　always　seeking　after　fine　joints；　when　it's　against
reason　and　nature　that　all　joints　should　be　juicy　and　all　cutlets
tender；　always　complaining　if　livers　are　not　sent　with　every　fowl；
always　asking　you　to　remember　the　trimmin's；　always　wanting　their
beef　well　'ung；　and　then　if　you　'ang　it　a　minute　too　long；　it's
left　on　your　'ands！　　I　often　used　to　say　to　Mr。　Heaven；　yes　many's
the　time　I've　said　it；　that　if　people　would　think　more　of　the　great
'ereafter　and　less　about　their　own　little　stomachs；　it　would　be　a
deal　better　for　them；　yes；　a　deal　better；　and　make　it　much　more
comfortable　for　the　butchers！〃

*　*　*

Burd　Alane　has　had　a　good　quarter　of　an　hour　to…day。

His　spouse　took　a　brief　promenade　with　him。　　To　be　sure；　it　was
during　an　absence　of　the　flock　on　the　other　side　of　the　hedge　so
that　the　moral　effect　of　her　spasm　of　wifely　loyalty　was　quite　lost
upon　them。　　I　strongly　suspect　that　she　would　not　have　granted
anything　but　a　secret　interview。　　What　a　petty；　weak；　ignoble
character！　　I　really　don't　like　to　think　so　badly　of　any　fellow…
creature　as　I　am　forced　to　think　of　that　politic；　time…serving；
pusillanimous　goose。　　I　believe　she　laid　the　egg　that　produced　the
idiot　gosling！



CHAPTER　IX



Here　follows　the　true　story　of　Sir　Muscovy　Drake；　the　Lady　Blanche；
and　Miss　Malardina　Crippletoes。

Phoebe's　flock　consisted　at　first　mostly　of　Brown　Mallards；　but　a
friend　gave　her　a　sitting　of　eggs　warranted　to　produce　a　most
beautiful　variety　of　white　ducks。　　They　were　hatched　in　due　time；
but　proved　hard　to　raise；　till　at　length　there　was　only　one
survivor；　of　such　uncommon　grace　and　beauty　that　we　called　her　the
Lady　Blanche。　　Presently　a　neighbour　sold　Phoebe　his　favourite
Muscovy　drake；　and　these　two　splendid　creatures　by　〃natural
selection〃　disdained　to　notice　the　rest　of　the　flock；　but　forming　a
close　friendship；　wandered　in　the　pleasant　paths　of　duckdom
together；　swimming　and　eating　quite　apart　from　the　others。

In　the　brown　flock　there　was　one　unfortunate；　misshapen　from　the
egg；　quite　lame；　and　with　no　smoothness　of　plumage；　but　on　that
very　account；　apparently；　or　because　she　was　too　weak　to　resist
them；　the　others　treated　her　cruelly；　biting　her　and　pushing　her
away　from　the　food。

One　day　it　happened　that　the　two　ducksSir　Muscovy　and　Lady
Blanchehad　come　up　from　the　water　before　the　others；　and　having
taken　their　repast　were　sitting　together　under　the　shade　of　a
flowering　currant…bush；　when　they　chanced　to　see　poor　Miss
Crippletoes　very　badly　used　and　crowded　away　from　the　dish。　　Sir
Muscovy　rose　to　his　feet；　a　few　rapid　words　seemed　to　pass　between
him　and　his　mate；　and　then　he　fell　upon　the　other　drake　and　the
heartless　minions　who　had　persecuted　the　helpless　one；　drove　them
far　away　out　of　sight；　and；　returning；　went　to　the　corner　where　the
victim　was　cowering；　her　face　to　the　wall。　　He　seemed　to　whisper　to
her；　or　in　some　way　to　convey　to　her　a　sense　of　protection；　for
after　a　few　moments　she　tremblingly　went　with　him　to　the　dish；　and
hurriedly　ate　her　dinner　while　he　stood　by；　repulsing　the　advances
of　the　few　brown　ducks　who　remained　near　and　seemed　inclined　to
attack　her。

When　she　had　eaten　enough　Lady　Blanche　joined　them；　and　they　went
down　the　hill　together　to　their　favourite　swimming…place。　　After
that　Miss　Crippletoes　always　followed　a　little　behind　her
protectors；　and　thus　shielded　and　fed　she　grew　stronger　and　well…
feathered；　though　she　was　always　smaller　than　she　should　have　been
and　had　a　lowly　manner；　keeping　a　few　steps　in　the　rear　of　her
superiors　and　sitting　at　some　distance　from　their　noon　resting…
place。

Phoebe　noticed　after　a　while　that　Lady　Blanche　was　seldom　to　be
seen；　and　Sir　Muscovy　and　Miss　Crippletoes　often　came　to　their
meals　without　her。　　The　would…be　mother　refused　to　inhabit　the
house　Phoebe　had　given　her；　and　for　a　long　time　the　place　she　had
chosen　for　her　sitting　could　not　be　found。　　At　length　the　Square
Baby　discovered　her　in　a　most　ideal　spot。　　A　large　boulder　had
dropped　years　ago　into　the　brook　that　fills　our　duck…pond；　dropped
and　split　in　halves　with　the　two　smooth　walls　leaning　away　from
each　other。　　A　grassy　bank　towered　behind；　and　on　either　side　of
the　opening；　tall　bushes　made　a　miniature　forest　where　the　romantic
mother　could　brood　her　treasures　while　her　two　guardians　enjoyed
the　water　close　by　her　retreat。

All　this　happened　before　my　coming　to　Thornycroft　Farm；　but　it　was
I　who　named　the　hero　and　heroines　of　the　romance　when　Phoebe　had
told　me　all　the　particulars。　　Yesterday　morning　I　was　sitting　by　my
open　window。　　It　was　warm；　sunny；　and　still；　but　in　the　country
sounds　travel　far；　and　I　could　hear　fowl　conversation　in　various
parts　of　the　poultry…yard　as　well　as　in　all　the　outlying　bits　of
territory　occupied　by　our　feathered　friends。　　Hens　have　only　three
words　and　a　scream　in　their　language；　but　ducks；　having　more
thoughts　to　express；　converse　quite　fluently；　so　fluently；　in　fact；
that　it　reminds　me　of　dinner　at　the　Hydropathic　Hotel。　　I　fancy　I
have　learned　to　distinguish　seven　separate　sounds；　each　varied　by
degrees　of　intensity；　and　with　upward　or　downward　inflections　like
the　Chinese　tongue。

In　the　distance；　then；　I　heard　the　faint　voice　of　a　duck　calling　as
if　breathless　and　excited。　　While　I　wondered　what　was　happening；　I
saw　Miss　Crippletoes　struggling　up　the　steep　bank　above　the　duck…
pond。　　It　was　the　quickest　way　from　the　water　to　the　house；　but
difficult　for　the　little　lame　webbed　feet。　　When　she　reached　the
level　grass　sward　she　sank　down　a　moment；　exhausted；　but　when　she
could