the diary of a goose girl-第3章

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the　meadow　at　the　back；　where　also　our　tumbler　pigeons　are　kept。

Phoebe　attends　to　the　poultry；　it　is　her　department。　　Mr。　Heaven
has　neither　the　force　nor　the　finesse　required；　and　the　gentle
reader　who　thinks　these　qualities　unneeded　in　so　humble　a　calling
has　only　to　spend　a　few　days　at　Thornycroft　to　be　convinced。　　Mrs。
Heaven　would　be　of　use；　but　she　is　dressing　the　Square　Baby　in　the
morning　and　putting　him　to　bed　at　night　just　at　the　hours　when　the
feathered　young　things　are　undergoing　the　same　operation。

A　Goose　Girl；　like　a　poet；　is　sometimes　born；　sometimes　otherwise。
I　am　of　the　born　variety。　　No　training　was　necessary；　I　put　my　head
on　my　pillow　as　a　complicated　product　of　modern　civilisation　on　a
Tuesday　night；　and　on　a　Wednesday　morning　I　awoke　as　a　Goose　Girl。

My　destiny　slumbered　during　the　day；　but　at　eight　o'clock　I　heard　a
terrific　squawking　in　the　direction　of　the　duck…ponds；　and；
aimlessly　drifting　in　that　direction；　I　came　upon　Phoebe　trying　to
induce　ducks　and　drakes；　geese　and　ganders；　to　retire　for　the
night。　　They　have　to　be　driven　into　enclosures　behind　fences　of
wire　netting；　fastened　into　little　rat…proof　boxes；　or　shut　into
separate　coops；　so　as　to　be　safe　from　their　natural　enemies；　the
rats　and　foxes；　which；　obeying；　I　suppose；　the　law　of　supply　and
demand；　abound　in　this　neighbourhood。　　The　old　ganders　are　allowed
their　liberty；　being　of　such　age；　discretion；　sagacity；　and
pugnacity　that　they　can　be　trusted　to　fight　their　own　battles。

The　intelligence　of　hens；　though　modest；　is　of　such　an　order　that
it　prompts　them　to　go　to　bed　at　a　virtuous　hour　of　their　own
accord；　but　ducks　and　geese　have　to　be　materially　assisted；　or　I
believe　they　would　roam　till　morning。　　Never　did　small　boy　detest
and　resist　being　carried　off　to　his　nursery　as　these　dullards；
young　and　old；　detest　and　resist　being　driven　to　theirs。　　Whether
they　suffer　from　insomnia；　or　nightmare；　or　whether　they　simply
prefer　the　sweet　air　of　liberty　（and　death）　to　the　odour　of
captivity　and　the　coop；　I　have　no　means　of　knowing。

Phoebe　stood　by　one　of　the　duck…ponds；　a　long　pole　in　her　hand；　and
a　helpless　expression　in　that　doughlike　countenance　of　hers；　where
aimless　contours　and　features　unite　to　make　a　kind　of　facial　blur。
（What　does　the　carrier　see　in　it？）　　The　pole　was　not　long　enough　to
reach　the　ducks；　and　Phoebe's　method　lacked　spirit　and　adroitness；
so　that　it　was　natural；　perhaps；　that　they　refused　to　leave　the
water；　the　evening　being　warm；　with　an　uncommon　fine　sunset。

I　saw　the　situation　at　once　and　ran　to　meet　it　with　a　glow　of
interest　and　anticipation。　　If　there　is　anything　in　the　world　I
enjoy；　it　is　making　somebody　do　something　that　he　doesn't　want　to
do；　and　if；　when　victory　perches　upon　my　banner；　the　somebody　can
be　brought　to　say　that　he　ought　to　have　done　it　without　my　making
him；　that　adds　the　unforgettable　touch　to　pleasure；　though　seldom；
alas！　does　it　happen。　　Then　ensued　the　delightful　and　stimulating
hour　that　has　now　become　a　feature　of　the　day；　an　hour　in　which　the
remembrance　of　the　table…d'hote　dinner　at　the　Hydro；　going　on　at
identically　the　same　time；　only　stirs　me　to　a　keener　joy　and
gratitude。

The　ducks　swim　round　in　circles；　hide　under　the　willows；　and
attempt　to　creep　into　the　rat…holes　in　the　banks；　a　stupidity　so
crass　that　it　merits　instant　death；　which　it　somehow　always
escapes。　　Then　they　come　out　in　couples　and　waddle　under　the　wrong
fence　into　the　lower　meadow；　fly　madly　under　the　tool…house；　pitch
blindly　in　with　the　sitting　hens；　and　out　again　in　short　order；　all
the　time　quacking　and　squawking；　honking　and　hissing　like　a
bewildered　orchestra。　　By　dint　of　splashing　the　water　with　poles；
throwing　pebbles；　beating　the　shrubs　at　the　pond's　edges；　〃shooing〃
frantically　with　our　skirts；　crawling　beneath　bars　to　head　them
off；　and　prodding　them　from　under　bushes　to　urge　them　on；　we
finally　get　the　older　ones　out　of　the　water　and　the　younger　ones
into　some　sort　of　relation　to　their　various　retreats；　but；　owing　to
their　lack　of　geography；　hatred　of　home；　and　general　recalcitrancy；
they　none　of　them　turn　up　in　the　right　place　and　have　to　be　sorted
out。　　We　uncover　the　top　of　the　little　house；　or　the　enclosure　as
it　may　be；　or　reach　in　at　the　door；　and；　seizing　the　struggling
victim；　drag　him　forth　and　take　him　where　he　should　have　had　the
wit　to　go　in　the　first　instance。　　The　weak　ones　get　in　with　the
strong　and　are　in　danger　of　being　trampled；　two　May　goslings　that
look　almost　full…grown　have　run　into　a　house　with　a　brood　of
ducklings　a　week　old。　　There　are　twenty…seven　crowded　into　one
coop；　five　in　another；　nineteen　in　another；　the　gosling　with　one
leg　has　to　come　out；　and　the　duckling　threatened　with　the　gapes；
their　place　is　with　the　〃invaleeds；〃　as　Phoebe　calls　them；　but　they
never　learn　the　location　of　the　hospital；　nor　have　the　slightest
scruple　about　spreading　contagious　diseases。

Finally；　when　we　have　separated　and　sorted　exhaustively；　an
operation　in　which　Phoebe　shows　a　delicacy　of　discrimination　and　a
fearlessness　of　attack　amounting　to　genius；　we　count　the　entire
number　and　find　several　missing。　　Searching　for　their　animate　or
inanimate　bodies；　we　〃scoop〃　one　from　under　the　tool…house；　chance
upon　two　more　who　are　being　harried　and　pecked　by　the　big　geese　in
the　lower　meadow；　and　discover　one　sailing　by　himself　in　solitary
splendour　in　the　middle　of　the　deserted　pond；　a　look　of　evil
triumph　in　his　bead…like　eye。　　Still　we　lack　one　young　duckling；
and　he　at　length　is　found　dead　by　the　hedge。　　A　rat　has　evidently
seized　him　and　choked　him　at　a　single　throttle；　but　in　such　haste
that　he　has　not　had　time　to　carry　away　the　tiny　body。

〃Poor　think！〃　says　Phoebe　tearfully；　〃it　looks　as　if　it　was　'it
with　some　kind　of　a　wepping。　　I　don't　know　whatever　to　do　with　the
rats；　they're　gettin'　that　fearocious！〃

Before　I　was　admitted　into　daily　contact　with　the　living　goose　（my
previous　intercourse　with　him　having　been　carried　on　when　gravy　and
stuffing　obscured　his　true　personality）；　I　thought　him　a　very
Dreyfus　among　fowls；　a　sorely　slandered　bird；　to　whom　justice　had
never　been　done；　for　even　the　gentle　Darwin　is　hard　upon　him。　　My
opinion　is　undergoing　some　slight　modifications；　but　I　withhold
judgment　at　present；　hoping　that　some　of　the　follies；　faults；
vagaries；　and　limitations　that　I　observe　in　Phoebe's　geese　may　be
due　to　Phoebe's　educational　methods；　which　were；　before　my　advent；
those　of　the　darkest　ages。



CHAPTER　IV



July　9th。

By　the　time　the　ducks　and　geese　are　incarcerated　for　the　night；　the
reasonable；　sensible；　practical…minded　hensespecially　those　whose
mentality　is　increased　and　whose　virtue　is　heightened　by　the
responsibilities　of　motherhoodhave　gone　into　their　own　particular
rat…proof　boxes；　where　they　are　waiting　in　a　semi…somnolent　state
to　have　the　wire　doors　closed；　the　bricks　set　against　them；　and　the
bits　of　sacking　flung　over　the　tops　to　keep　out　the　draught。　　We
have　a　great　many　young　families；　both　ducklings　and　chicks；　but　we
have　no　duck　mothers　at　present。　　The　variety　of　bird　which　Phoebe
seems　to　have　bred　during　the　past　year　may　be　called　the　New　Duck；
with　certain　radical　ideas　about　woman's　sphere。　　What　will　happen
to　Thornycroft　if　we　develop　a　New　Hen　and　a　New　Cow；　my
imagination　fails　to　conceive。　　There　does　not　seem　to　be　the
slightest　danger　for　the　moment；　however；　and　our　hens　lay　and　sit
and　sit　and　lay　as　if　laying　and　sitting　were　the　twin　purposes　of
life。

The　nature　of　the　hen　seems　to　broaden　with　the　duties　of
maternity；　but　I　think　myself　that　we　presume　a　little　upon　her
amiability　and　natural　motherliness。　　It　is　one　thing　to　desire　a
family　of　one's　own；　to　lay　eggs　with　that　idea　in　view；　to　sit
upon　them　three　long　weeks　and　hatch　out　and　bring　up　a　nice　brood
of　chicks。　　It　must　be　quite　another　to　have　one's　eggs　abstracted
day　by　day　and　eaten　by　a　callous　public；　the　nest　filled　with
deceitful　substitutes；　and　at　the　end　of　a　dull　and　weary　period　of
hatching　to　bring　into　the　world　another　person's　children
children；　too；　of　the　wrong　size；　the　wrong　kind　of　bills　and　feet；
and；　st