the lily of the valley-第63章

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again　replanted　yet　forever　uprooted。　Our　new　scientific　nomenclature

has　plenty　of　words　to　explain　these　things；　gastritis；　pericarditis；

all　the　thousand　maladies　of　women　the　names　of　which　are　whispered　in

the　ear；　all　serve　as　passports　to　the　coffin　followed　by　hypocritical

tears　that　are　soon　wiped　by　the　hand　of　a　notary。　Can　there　be　at　the

bottom　of　this　great　evil　some　law　which　we　do　not　know？　Must　the

centenary　pitilessly　strew　the　earth　with　corpses　and　dry　them　to　dust

about　him　that　he　may　raise　himself；　as　the　millionaire　battens　on　a

myriad　of　little　industries？　Is　there　some　powerful　and　venomous　life

which　feasts　on　these　gentle；　tender　creatures？　My　God！　do　I　belong　to

the　race　of　tigers？



Remorse　gripped　my　heart　in　its　scorching　fingers；　and　my　cheeks　were

furrowed　with　tears　as　I　entered　the　avenue　of　Clochegourde　on　a　damp

October　morning；　which　loosened　the　dead　leaves　of　the　poplars　planted

by　Henriette　in　the　path　where　once　she　stood　and　waved　her

handkerchief　as　if　to　recall　me。　Was　she　living？　Why　did　I　feel　her

two　white　hands　upon　my　head　laid　prostrate　in　the　dust？　In　that

moment　I　paid　for　all　the　pleasures　that　Arabella　had　given　me；　and　I

knew　that　I　paid　dearly。　I　swore　not　to　see　her　again；　and　a　hatred　of

England　took　possession　of　me。　Though　Lady　Dudley　was　only　a　variety

of　her　species；　I　included　all　Englishwomen　in　my　judgment。



I　received　a　fresh　shock　as　I　neared　Clochegourde。　Jacques；　Madeleine；

and　the　Abbe　Dominis　were　kneeling　at　the　foot　of　a　wooden　cross

placed　on　a　piece　of　ground　that　was　taken　into　the　enclosure　when　the

iron　gate　was　put　up；　which　the　count　and　countess　had　never　been

willing　to　remove。　I　sprang　from　the　carriage　and　went　towards　them；

my　heart　aching　at　the　sight　of　these　children　and　that　grave　old　man

imploring　the　mercy　of　God。　The　old　huntsman　was　there　too；　with　bared

head；　standing　a　little　apart。



I　stooped　to　kiss　Jacques　and　Madeleine；　who　gave　me　a　cold　look　and

continued　praying。　The　abbe　rose　from　his　knees；　I　took　him　by　the　arm

to　support　myself；　saying；　〃Is　she　still　alive？〃　He　bowed　his　head

sadly　and　gently。　〃Tell　me；　I　implore　you　for　Christ's　sake；　why　are

you　praying　at　the　foot　of　this　cross？　Why　are　you　here；　and　not　with

her？　Why　are　the　children　kneeling　here　this　chilly　morning？　Tell　me

all；　that　I　may　do　no　harm　through　ignorance。〃



〃For　the　last　few　days　Madame　le　comtesse　has　been　unwilling　to　see

her　children　except　at　stated　times。Monsieur；〃　he　continued　after　a

pause；　〃perhaps　you　had　better　wait　a　few　hours　before　seeing　Madame

de　Mortsauf；　she　is　greatly　changed。　It　is　necessary　to　prepare　her

for　this　interview；　or　it　might　cause　an　increase　in　her　sufferings

death　would　be　a　blessed　release　from　them。〃　



I　wrung　the　hand　of　the　good　man；　whose　look　and　voice　soothed　the

pangs　of　others　without　sharpening　them。



〃We　are　praying　God　to　help　her；〃　he　continued；　〃for　she；　so　saintly；

so　resigned；　so　fit　to　die；　has　shown　during　the　last　few　weeks　a

horror　of　death；　for　the　first　time　in　her　life　she　looks　at　others

who　are　full　of　health　with　gloomy；　envious　eyes。　This　aberration

comes　less；　I　think；　from　the　fear　of　death　than　from　some　inward

intoxication；from　the　flowers　of　her　youth　which　ferment　as　they

wither。　Yes；　an　evil　angel　is　striving　against　heaven　for　that

glorious　soul。　She　is　passing　through　her　struggle　on　the　Mount　of

Olives；　her　tears　bathe　the　white　roses　of　her　crown　as　they　fall；　one

by　one；　from　the　head　of　this　wedded　Jephtha。　Wait；　do　not　see　her

yet。　You　would　bring　to　her　the　atmosphere　of　the　court；　she　would　see

in　your　face　the　reflection　of　the　things　of　life；　and　you　would　add

to　the　bitterness　of　her　regret。　Have　pity　on　a　weakness　which　God

Himself　forgave　to　His　Son　when　He　took　our　nature　upon　Him。　What

merit　would　there　be　in　conquering　if　we　had　no　adversary？　Permit　her

confessor　or　me；　two　old　men　whose　worn…out　lives　cause　her　no　pain；

to　prepare　her　for　this　unlooked…for　meeting；　for　emotions　which　the

Abbe　Birotteau　has　required　her　to　renounce。　But；　in　the　things　of

this　world　there　is　an　invisible　thread　of　divine　purpose　which

religion　alone　can　see；　and　since　you　have　come　perhaps　you　are　led　by

some　celestial　star　of　the　moral　world　which　leads　to　the　tomb　as　to

the　manger〃



He　then　told　me；　with　that　tempered　eloquence　which　falls　like　dew

upon　the　heart；　that　for　the　last　six　months　the　countess　had　suffered

daily　more　and　more；　in　spite　of　Monsieur　Origet's　care。　The　doctor

had　come　to　Clochegourde　every　evening　for　two　months；　striving　to

rescue　her　from　death；　for　her　one　cry　had　been；　〃Oh；　save　me！〃　〃To

heal　the　body　the　heart　must　first　be　healed；〃　the　doctor　had

exclaimed　one　day。



〃As　the　illness　increased；　the　words　of　this　poor　woman；　once　so

gentle；　have　grown　bitter；〃　said　the　Abbe。　〃She　calls　on　earth　to　keep

her；　instead　of　asking　God　to　take　her；　then　she　repents　these　murmurs

against　the　divine　decree。　Such　alternations　of　feeling　rend　her　heart

and　make　the　struggle　between　body　and　soul　most　horrible。　Often　the

body　triumphs。　'You　have　cost　me　dear；'　she　said　one　day　to　Jacques

and　Madeleine；　but　in　a　moment；　recalled　to　God　by　the　look　on　my

face；　she　turned　to　Madeleine　with　these　angelic　words；　'The　happiness

of　others　is　the　joy　of　those　who　cannot　themselves　be　happy；'and

the　tone　with　which　she　said　them　brought　tears　to　my　eyes。　She　falls；

it　is　true；　but　each　time　that　her　feet　stumble　she　rises　higher

towards　heaven。〃



Struck　by　the　tone　of　the　successive　intimations　chance　had　sent　me；

and　which　in　this　great　concert　of　misfortunes　were　like　a　prelude　of

mournful　modulations　to　a　funereal　theme；　the　mighty　cry　of　expiring

love；　I　cried　out：　〃Surely　you　believe　that　this　pure　lily　cut　from

earth　will　flower　in　heaven？〃



〃You　left　her　still　a　flower；〃　he　answered；　〃but　you　will　find　her

consumed；　purified　by　the　forces　of　suffering；　pure　as　a　diamond

buried　in　the　ashes。　Yes；　that　shining　soul；　angelic　star；　will　issue

glorious　from　the　clouds　and　pass　into　the　kingdom　of　the　Light。〃



As　I　pressed　the　hand　of　the　good　evangelist；　my　heart　overflowing

with　gratitude；　the　count　put　his　head；　now　entirely　white；　out　of　the

door　and　immediately　sprang　towards　me　with　signs　of　surprise。



〃She　was　right！　He　is　here！　'Felix；　Felix；　Felix　has　come！'　she　kept

crying。　My　dear　friend；〃　he　continued；　beside　himself　with　terror；

〃death　is　here。　Why　did　it　not　take　a　poor　madman　like　me　with　one

foot　in　the　grave？〃



I　walked　towards　the　house　summoning　my　courage；　but　on　the　threshold

of　the　long　antechamber　which　crossed　the　house　and　led　to　the　lawn；

the　Abbe　Birotteau　stopped　me。



〃Madame　la　comtesse　begs　you　will　not　enter　at　present；〃　he　said　to

me。



Giving　a　glance　within　the　house　I　saw　the　servants　coming　and　going；

all　busy；　all　dumb　with　grief；　surprised　perhaps　by　the　orders　Manette

gave　them。



〃What　has　happened？〃　cried　the　count；　alarmed　by　the　commotion；　as

much　from　fear　of　the　coming　event　as　from　the　natural　uneasiness　of

his　character。



〃Only　a　sick　woman's　fancy；〃　said　the　abbe。　〃Madame　la　comtesse　does

not　wish　to　receive　monsieur　le　vicomte　as　she　now　is。　She　talks　of

dressing；　why　thwart　her？〃



Manette　came　in　search　of　Madeleine；　whom　I　saw　leave　the　house　a　few

moments　after　she　had　entered　her　mother's　room。　We　were　all；　Jacques

and　his　father；　the　two　abbes　and　I；　silently　walking　up　and　down　the

lawn　in　front　of　the　house。　I　looked　first　at　Montbazon　and　then　at

Azay；　noticing　the　seared　and　yellow　valley　which　answered　in　its

mourning　（as　it　ever　did　on　all　occasions）　to　the　feelings　of　my

heart。　Suddenly　I　beheld　the　dear　〃mignonne〃　gathering　the　autumn

flowers；　no　doubt　to　make　a　bouquet　at　her　mother's　bidding。　Thinking

of　all　which　that　signified；　I　was　so　convulsed　within　me　that　I

staggered；　my　sight　was　blurred；　and　t