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第63章

the lily of the valley-第63章

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again replanted yet forever uprooted。 Our new scientific nomenclature

has plenty of words to explain these things; gastritis; pericarditis;

all the thousand maladies of women the names of which are whispered in

the ear; all serve as passports to the coffin followed by hypocritical

tears that are soon wiped by the hand of a notary。 Can there be at the

bottom of this great evil some law which we do not know? Must the

centenary pitilessly strew the earth with corpses and dry them to dust

about him that he may raise himself; as the millionaire battens on a

myriad of little industries? Is there some powerful and venomous life

which feasts on these gentle; tender creatures? My God! do I belong to

the race of tigers?



Remorse gripped my heart in its scorching fingers; and my cheeks were

furrowed with tears as I entered the avenue of Clochegourde on a damp

October morning; which loosened the dead leaves of the poplars planted

by Henriette in the path where once she stood and waved her

handkerchief as if to recall me。 Was she living? Why did I feel her

two white hands upon my head laid prostrate in the dust? In that

moment I paid for all the pleasures that Arabella had given me; and I

knew that I paid dearly。 I swore not to see her again; and a hatred of

England took possession of me。 Though Lady Dudley was only a variety

of her species; I included all Englishwomen in my judgment。



I received a fresh shock as I neared Clochegourde。 Jacques; Madeleine;

and the Abbe Dominis were kneeling at the foot of a wooden cross

placed on a piece of ground that was taken into the enclosure when the

iron gate was put up; which the count and countess had never been

willing to remove。 I sprang from the carriage and went towards them;

my heart aching at the sight of these children and that grave old man

imploring the mercy of God。 The old huntsman was there too; with bared

head; standing a little apart。



I stooped to kiss Jacques and Madeleine; who gave me a cold look and

continued praying。 The abbe rose from his knees; I took him by the arm

to support myself; saying; 〃Is she still alive?〃 He bowed his head

sadly and gently。 〃Tell me; I implore you for Christ's sake; why are

you praying at the foot of this cross? Why are you here; and not with

her? Why are the children kneeling here this chilly morning? Tell me

all; that I may do no harm through ignorance。〃



〃For the last few days Madame le comtesse has been unwilling to see

her children except at stated times。Monsieur;〃 he continued after a

pause; 〃perhaps you had better wait a few hours before seeing Madame

de Mortsauf; she is greatly changed。 It is necessary to prepare her

for this interview; or it might cause an increase in her sufferings

death would be a blessed release from them。〃 



I wrung the hand of the good man; whose look and voice soothed the

pangs of others without sharpening them。



〃We are praying God to help her;〃 he continued; 〃for she; so saintly;

so resigned; so fit to die; has shown during the last few weeks a

horror of death; for the first time in her life she looks at others

who are full of health with gloomy; envious eyes。 This aberration

comes less; I think; from the fear of death than from some inward

intoxication;from the flowers of her youth which ferment as they

wither。 Yes; an evil angel is striving against heaven for that

glorious soul。 She is passing through her struggle on the Mount of

Olives; her tears bathe the white roses of her crown as they fall; one

by one; from the head of this wedded Jephtha。 Wait; do not see her

yet。 You would bring to her the atmosphere of the court; she would see

in your face the reflection of the things of life; and you would add

to the bitterness of her regret。 Have pity on a weakness which God

Himself forgave to His Son when He took our nature upon Him。 What

merit would there be in conquering if we had no adversary? Permit her

confessor or me; two old men whose worn…out lives cause her no pain;

to prepare her for this unlooked…for meeting; for emotions which the

Abbe Birotteau has required her to renounce。 But; in the things of

this world there is an invisible thread of divine purpose which

religion alone can see; and since you have come perhaps you are led by

some celestial star of the moral world which leads to the tomb as to

the manger〃



He then told me; with that tempered eloquence which falls like dew

upon the heart; that for the last six months the countess had suffered

daily more and more; in spite of Monsieur Origet's care。 The doctor

had come to Clochegourde every evening for two months; striving to

rescue her from death; for her one cry had been; 〃Oh; save me!〃 〃To

heal the body the heart must first be healed;〃 the doctor had

exclaimed one day。



〃As the illness increased; the words of this poor woman; once so

gentle; have grown bitter;〃 said the Abbe。 〃She calls on earth to keep

her; instead of asking God to take her; then she repents these murmurs

against the divine decree。 Such alternations of feeling rend her heart

and make the struggle between body and soul most horrible。 Often the

body triumphs。 'You have cost me dear;' she said one day to Jacques

and Madeleine; but in a moment; recalled to God by the look on my

face; she turned to Madeleine with these angelic words; 'The happiness

of others is the joy of those who cannot themselves be happy;'and

the tone with which she said them brought tears to my eyes。 She falls;

it is true; but each time that her feet stumble she rises higher

towards heaven。〃



Struck by the tone of the successive intimations chance had sent me;

and which in this great concert of misfortunes were like a prelude of

mournful modulations to a funereal theme; the mighty cry of expiring

love; I cried out: 〃Surely you believe that this pure lily cut from

earth will flower in heaven?〃



〃You left her still a flower;〃 he answered; 〃but you will find her

consumed; purified by the forces of suffering; pure as a diamond

buried in the ashes。 Yes; that shining soul; angelic star; will issue

glorious from the clouds and pass into the kingdom of the Light。〃



As I pressed the hand of the good evangelist; my heart overflowing

with gratitude; the count put his head; now entirely white; out of the

door and immediately sprang towards me with signs of surprise。



〃She was right! He is here! 'Felix; Felix; Felix has come!' she kept

crying。 My dear friend;〃 he continued; beside himself with terror;

〃death is here。 Why did it not take a poor madman like me with one

foot in the grave?〃



I walked towards the house summoning my courage; but on the threshold

of the long antechamber which crossed the house and led to the lawn;

the Abbe Birotteau stopped me。



〃Madame la comtesse begs you will not enter at present;〃 he said to

me。



Giving a glance within the house I saw the servants coming and going;

all busy; all dumb with grief; surprised perhaps by the orders Manette

gave them。



〃What has happened?〃 cried the count; alarmed by the commotion; as

much from fear of the coming event as from the natural uneasiness of

his character。



〃Only a sick woman's fancy;〃 said the abbe。 〃Madame la comtesse does

not wish to receive monsieur le vicomte as she now is。 She talks of

dressing; why thwart her?〃



Manette came in search of Madeleine; whom I saw leave the house a few

moments after she had entered her mother's room。 We were all; Jacques

and his father; the two abbes and I; silently walking up and down the

lawn in front of the house。 I looked first at Montbazon and then at

Azay; noticing the seared and yellow valley which answered in its

mourning (as it ever did on all occasions) to the feelings of my

heart。 Suddenly I beheld the dear 〃mignonne〃 gathering the autumn

flowers; no doubt to make a bouquet at her mother's bidding。 Thinking

of all which that signified; I was so convulsed within me that I

staggered; my sight was blurred; and t

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