the lily of the valley-第52章

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but　perhaps　she　will　tell　you　what　troubles　her。　I　would　sacrifice

everything　to　make　her　happy；　even　to　half　my　remaining　days　or　half

my　fortune。　She　is　necessary　to　my　very　life。　If　I　have　not　that　angel

at　my　side　as　I　grow　old　I　shall　be　the　most　wretched　of　men。　I　do

desire　to　die　easy。　Tell　her　I　shall　not　be　here　long　to　trouble　her。

Yes；　Felix；　my　poor　friend；　I　am　going　fast；　I　know　it。　I　hide　the

fatal　truth　from　every　one；　why　should　I　worry　them　beforehand？　The

trouble　is　in　the　orifice　of　the　stomach；　my　friend。　I　have　at　last

discovered　the　true　cause　of　this　disease；　it　is　my　sensibility　that

is　killing　me。　Indeed；　all　our　feelings　affect　the　gastric　centre。〃



〃Then　do　you　mean；〃　I　said；　smiling；　〃that　the　best…hearted　people　die

of　their　stomachs？〃



〃Don't　laugh；　Felix；　nothing　is　more　absolutely　true。　Too　keen　a

sensibility　increases　the　play　of　the　sympathetic　nerve；　these

excitements　of　feeling　keep　the　mucous　membrane　of　the　stomach　in　a

state　of　constant　irritation。　If　this　state　continues　it　deranges；　at

first　insensibly；　the　digestive　functions；　the　secretions　change；　the

appetite　is　impaired；　and　the　digestion　becomes　capricious；　sharp

pains　are　felt；　they　grow　worse　day　by　day；　and　more　frequent；　then

the　disorder　comes　to　a　crisis；　as　if　a　slow　poison　were　passing　the

alimentary　canal；　the　mucous　membrane　thickens；　the　valve　of　the

pylorus　becomes　indurated　and　forms　a　scirrhus；　of　which　the　patient

dies。　Well；　I　have　reached　that　point；　my　dear　friend。　The　induration

is　proceeding　and　nothing　checks　it。　Just　look　at　my　yellow　skin；　my

feverish　eyes；　my　excessive　thinness。　I　am　withering　away。　But　what　is

to　be　done？　I　brought　the　seeds　of　the　disease　home　with　me　from　the

emigration；　heaven　knows　what　I　suffered　then！　My　marriage；　which

might　have　repaired　the　wrong；　far　from　soothing　my　ulcerated　mind

increased　the　wound。　What　did　I　find？　ceaseless　fears　for　the

children；　domestic　jars；　a　fortune　to　remake；　economies　which　required

great　privations；　which　I　was　obliged　to　impose　upon　my　wife；　but

which　I　was　the　one　to　suffer　from；　and　then；I　can　tell　this　to　none

but　you；　Felix；I　have　a　worse　trouble　yet。　Though　Blanche　is　an

angel；　she　does　not　understand　me；　she　knows　nothing　of　my　sufferings

and　she　aggravates　them；　but　I　forgive　her。　It　is　a　dreadful　thing　to

say；　my　friend；　but　a　less　virtuous　woman　might　have　made　me　more

happy　by　lending　herself　to　consolations　which　Blanche　never　thinks

of；　for　she　is　as　silly　as　a　child。　Moreover　my　servants　torment　me；

blockheads　who　take　my　French　for　Greek！　When　our　fortune　was　finally

remade　inch　by　inch；　and　I　had　some　relief　from　care；　it　was　too　late；

the　harm　was　done；　I　had　reached　the　period　when　the　appetite　is

vitiated。　Then　came　my　severe　illness；　so　ill…managed　by　Origet。　In

short；　I　have　not　six　months　to　live。〃



I　listened　to　the　count　in　terror。　On　meeting　the　countess　I　had　been

struck　with　her　yellow　skin　and　the　feverish　brilliancy　of　her　eyes。　I

led　the　count　towards　the　house　while　seeming　to　listen　to　his

complaints　and　his　medical　dissertations；　but　my　thoughts　were　all

with　Henriette；　and　I　wanted　to　observe　her。　We　found　her　in　the

salon；　where　she　was　listening　to　a　lesson　in　mathematics　which　the

Abbe　Dominis　was　giving　Jacques；　and　at　the　same　time　showing

Madeleine　a　stitch　of　embroidery。　Formerly　she　would　have　laid　aside

every　occupation　the　day　of　my　arrival　to　be　with　me。　But　my　love　was

so　deeply　real　that　I　drove　back　into　my　heart　the　grief　I　felt　at

this　contrast　between　the　past　and　the　present；　and　thought　only　of

the　fatal　yellow　tint　on　that　celestial　face；　which　resembled　the　halo

of　divine　light　Italian　painters　put　around　the　faces　of　their　saints。

I　felt　the　icy　wind　of　death　pass　over　me。　Then　when　the　fire　of　her

eyes；　no　longer　softened　by　the　liquid　light　in　which　in　former　times

they　moved；　fell　upon　me；　I　shuddered；　I　noticed　several　changes；

caused　by　grief；　which　I　had　not　seen　in　the　open　air。　The　slender

lines　which；　at　my　last　visit；　were　so　lightly　marked　upon　her

forehead　had　deepened；　her　temples　with　their　violet　veins　seemed

burning　and　concave；　her　eyes　were　sunk　beneath　the　brows；　their

circles　browned；alas！　she　was　discolored　like　a　fruit　when　decay　is

beginning　to　show　upon　the　surface；　or　a　worm　is　at　the　core。　I；　whose

whole　ambition　had　been　to　pour　happiness　into　her　soul；　I　it　was　who

embittered　the　spring　from　which　she　had　hoped　to　refresh　her　life　and

renew　her　courage。　I　took　a　seat　beside　her　and　said　in　a　voice　filled

with　tears　of　repentance；　〃Are　you　satisfied　with　your　own　health？〃



〃Yes；〃　she　answered；　plunging　her　eyes　into　mine。　〃My　health　is

there；〃　she　added；　motioning　to　Jacques　and　Madeleine。



The　latter；　just　fifteen；　had　come　victoriously　out　of　her　struggle

with　anaemia；　and　was　now　a　woman。　She　had　grown　tall；　the　Bengal

roses　were　blooming　in　her　once　sallow　cheeks。　She　had　lost　the

unconcern　of　a　child　who　looks　every　one　in　the　face；　and　now　dropped

her　eyes；　her　movements　were　slow　and　infrequent；　like　those　of　her

mother；　her　figure　was　slim；　but　the　gracefulness　of　the　bust　was

already　developing；　already　an　instinct　of　coquetry　had　smoothed　the

magnificent　black　hair　which　lay　in　bands　upon　her　Spanish　brow。　She

was　like　those　pretty　statuettes　of　the　Middle　Ages；　so　delicate　in

outline；　so　slender　in　form　that　the　eye　as　it　seizes　their　charm

fears　to　break　them。　Health；　the　fruit　of　untold　efforts；　had　made　her

cheeks　as　velvety　as　a　peach　and　given　to　her　throat　the　silken　down

which；　like　her　mother's；　caught　the　light。　She　was　to　live！　God　had

written　it；　dear　bud　of　the　loveliest　of　human　flowers；　on　the　long

lashes　of　her　eyelids；　on　the　curve　of　those　shoulders　which　gave

promise　of　a　development　as　superb　as　her　mother's！　This　brown　young

girl；　erect　as　a　poplar；　contrasted　with　Jacques；　a　fragile　youth　of

seventeen；　whose　head　had　grown　immensely；　causing　anxiety　by　the

rapid　expansion　of　the　forehead；　while　his　feverish；　weary　eyes　were

in　keeping　with　a　voice　that　was　deep　and　sonorous。　The　voice　gave

forth　too　strong　a　volume　of　tone；　the　eye　too　many　thoughts。　It　was

Henriette's　intellect　and　soul　and　heart　that　were　here　devouring　with

swift　flames　a　body　without　stamina；　for　Jacques　had　the　milk…white

skin　and　high　color　which　characterize　young　English　women　doomed

sooner　or　later　to　the　consumptive　curse；an　appearance　of　health

that　deceives　the　eye。　Following　a　sign　by　which　Henriette；　after

showing　me　Madeleine；　made　me　look　at　Jacques　drawing　geometrical

figures　and　algebraic　calculations　on　a　board　before　the　Abbe　Dominis；

I　shivered　at　the　sight　of　death　hidden　beneath　the　roses；　and　was

thankful　for　the　self…deception　of　his　mother。



〃When　I　see　my　children　thus；　happiness　stills　my　griefsjust　as

those　griefs　are　dumb；　and　even　disappear；　when　I　see　them　failing。　My

friend；〃　she　said；　her　eyes　shining　with　maternal　pleasure；　〃if　other

affections　fail　us；　the　feelings　rewarded　here；　the　duties　done　and

crowned　with　success；　are　compensation　enough　for　defeat　elsewhere。

Jacques　will　be；　like　you；　a　man　of　the　highest　education；　possessed

of　the　worthiest　knowledge；　he　will　be；　like　you；　an　honor　to　his

country；　which　he　may　assist　in　governing；　helped　by　you；　whose

standing　will　be　so　high；　but　I　will　strive　to　make　him　faithful　to

his　first　affections。　Madeleine；　dear　creature；　has　a　noble　heart；　she

is　pure　as　the　snows　on　the　highest　Alps；　she　will　have　a　woman's

devotion　and　a　woman's　graceful　intellect。　She　is　proud；　she　is　worthy

of　being　a　Lenoncourt。　My　motherhood；　once　so　tried；　so　tortured；　is

happy　now；　happy　with　an　infinite　happiness；　unmixed　with　pain。　Yes；

my　life　is　full；　my　life　is　rich。　You　see；　God　makes　my　joy　to　blossom

in　the　heart　of　these　sanctified　affections；　and　turns　to　bitterness

those　that　might　have　led　me　astray〃



〃Good！〃　cried　the　abbe；　joyful