the lily of the valley-第50章

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like　the　whirlwinds　of　the　desertthe　desert；　whose　torrid　expanse　is

in　her　eyes；　the　azure；　love…laden　desert；　with　its　changeless　skies；

its　cool　and　starry　nights。　What　a　contrast　to　Clochegourde！　the　east

and　the　west！　the　one　drawing　into　her　every　drop　of　moisture　for　her

own　nourishment；　the　other　exuding　her　soul；　wrapping　her　dear　ones　in

her　luminous　atmosphere；　the　one　quick　and　slender；　the　other　slow　and

massive。



Have　you　ever　reflected　on　the　actual　meaning　of　the　manners　and

customs　and　morals　of　England？　Is　it　not　the　deification　of　matter？　a

well…defined；　carefully　considered　Epicureanism；　judiciously　applied？

No　matter　what　may　be　said　against　the　statement；　England　is

materialist；possibly　she　does　not　know　it　herself。　She　lays　claim　to

religion　and　morality；　from　which；　however；　divine　spirituality；　the

catholic　soul；　is　absent；　and　its　fructifying　grace　cannot　be　replaced

by　any　counterfeit；　however　well　presented　it　may　be。　England

possesses　in　the　highest　degree　that　science　of　existence　which　turns

to　account　every　particle　of　materiality；　the　science　that　makes　her

women's　slippers　the　most　exquisite　slippers　in　the　world；　gives　to

their　linen　ineffable　fragrance；　lines　their　drawers　with　cedar；

serves　tea　carefully　drawn；　at　a　certain　hour；　banishes　dust；　nails

the　carpets　to　the　floors　in　every　corner　of　the　house；　brushes　the

cellar　walls；　polishes　the　knocker　of　the　front　door；　oils　the　springs

of　the　carriage；in　short；　makes　matter　a　nutritive　and　downy　pulp；

clean　and　shining；　in　the　midst　of　which　the　soul　expires　of　enjoyment

and　the　frightful　monotony　of　comfort　in　a　life　without　contrasts；

deprived　of　spontaneity；　and　which；　to　sum　all　in　one　word；　makes　a

machine　of　you。



Thus　I　suddenly　came　to　know；　in　the　bosom　of　this　British　luxury；　a

woman　who　is　perhaps　unique　among　her　sex；　who　caught　me　in　the　nets

of　a　love　excited　by　my　indifference；　and　to　the　warmth　of　which　I

opposed　a　stern　continence；one　of　those　loves　possessed　of

overwhelming　charm；　an　electricity　of　their　own；　which　lead　us　to　the

skies　through　the　ivory　gates　of　slumber；　or　bear　us　thither　on　their

powerful　pinions。　A　love　monstrously　ungrateful；　which　laughs　at　the

bodies　of　those　it　kills；　love　without　memory；　a　cruel　love；

resembling　the　policy　of　the　English　nation；　a　love　to　which；　alas；

most　men　yield。　You　understand　the　problem？　Man　is　composed　of　matter

and　spirit；　animality　comes　to　its　end　in　him；　and　the　angel　begins　in

him。　There　lies　the　struggle　we　all　pass　through；　between　the　future

destiny　of　which　we　are　conscious　and　the　influence　of　anterior

instincts　from　which　we　are　not　wholly　detached；carnal　love　and

divine　love。　One　man　combines　them；　another　abstains　altogether；　some

there　are　who　seek　the　satisfaction　of　their　anterior　appetites　from

the　whole　sex；　others　idealize　their　love　in　one　woman　who　is　to　them

the　universe；　some　float　irresolutely　between　the　delights　of　matter

and　the　joys　of　soul；　others　spiritualize　the　body；　requiring　of　it

that　which　it　cannot　give。



If；　thinking　over　these　leading　characteristics　of　love；　you　take　into

account　the　dislikes　and　the　affinities　which　result　from　the

diversity　of　organisms；　and　which　sooner　or　later　break　all　ties

between　those　who　have　not　fully　tried　each　other；　if　you　add　to　this

the　mistakes　arising　from　the　hopes　of　those　who　live　more

particularly　either　by　their　minds；　or　by　their　hearts；　or　by　action；

who　either　think；　or　feel；　or　act；　and　whose　tendency　is　misunderstood

in　the　close　association　in　which　two　persons；　equal　counterparts；

find　themselves；　you　will　have　great　indulgence　for　sorrows　to　which

the　world　is　pitiless。　Well；　Lady　Dudley　gratified　the　instincts；

organs；　appetites；　the　vices　and　virtues　of　the　subtile　matter　of

which　we　are　made；　she　was　the　mistress　of　the　body；　Madame　de

Mortsauf　was　the　wife　of　the　soul。　The　love　which　the　mistress

satisfies　has　its　limits；　matter　is　finite；　its　inherent　qualities

have　an　ascertained　force；　it　is　capable　of　saturation；　often　I　felt　a

void　even　in　Paris；　near　Lady　Dudley。　Infinitude　is　the　region　of　the

heart；　love　had　no　limits　at　Clochegourde。　I　loved　Lady　Dudley

passionately；　and　certainly；　though　the　animal　in　her　was　magnificent；

she　was　also　superior　in　mind；　her　sparkling　and　satirical

conversation　had　a　wide　range。　But　I　adored　Henriette。　At　night　I　wept

with　happiness；　in　the　morning　with　remorse。



Some　women　have　the　art　to　hide　their　jealousy　under　a　tone　of　angelic

kindness；　they　are；　like　Lady　Dudley；　over　thirty　years　of　age。　Such

women　know　how　to　feel　and　how　to　calculate；　they　press　out　the　juices

of　to…day　and　think　of　the　future　also；　they　can　stifle　a　moan；　often

a　natural　one；　with　the　will　of　a　huntsman　who　pays　no　heed　to　a　wound

in　the　ardor　of　the　chase。　Without　ever　speaking　of　Madame　de

Mortsauf；　Arabella　endeavored　to　kill　her　in　my　soul；　where　she　ever

found　her；　her　own　passion　increasing　with　the　consciousness　of　that

invincible　love。　Intending　to　triumph　by　comparisons　which　would　turn

to　her　advantage；　she　was　never　suspicious；　or　complaining；　or

inquisitive；　as　are　most　young　women；　but；　like　a　lioness　who　has

seized　her　prey　and　carries　it　to　her　lair　to　devour；　she　watched　that

nothing　should　disturb　her　feast；　and　guarded　me　like　a　rebellious

captive。　I　wrote　to　Henriette　under　her　very　eyes；　but　she　never　read

a　line　of　my　letters；　she　never　sought　in　any　way　to　know　to　whom　they

were　addressed。　I　had　my　liberty；　she　seemed　to　say　to　herself；　〃If　I

lose　him　it　shall　be　my　own　fault；〃　and　she　proudly　relied　on　a　love

that　would　have　given　me　her　life　had　I　asked　for　it；in　fact　she

often　told　me　that　if　I　left　her　she　would　kill　herself。　I　have　heard

her　praise　the　custom　of　Indian　widows　who　burn　themselves　upon　their

husband's　grave。　〃In　India　that　is　a　distinction　reserved　for　the

higher　classes；〃　she　said；　〃and　is　very　little　understood　by

Europeans；　who　are　incapable　of　understanding　the　grandeur　of　the

privilege；　you　must　admit；　however；　that　on　the　dead　level　of　our

modern　customs　aristocracy　can　rise　to　greatness　only　through

unparalleled　devotions。　How　can　I　prove　to　the　middle　classes　that　the

blood　in　my　veins　is　not　the　same　as　theirs；　unless　I　show　them　that　I

can　die　as　they　cannot？　Women　of　no　birth　can　have　diamonds　and　satins

and　horseseven　coats…of…arms；　which　ought　to　be　sacred　to　us；　for

any　one　can　buy　a　name。　But　to　love；　with　our　heads　up；　in　defiance　of

law；　to　die　for　the　idol　we　have　chosen；　with　the　sheets　of　our　bed

for　a　shroud；　to　lay　earth　and　heaven　at　his　feet；　robbing　the

Almighty　of　his　right　to　make　a　god；　and　never　to　betray　that　man；

never；　never；　even　for　virtue's　sake；for；　to　refuse　him　anything　in

the　name　of　duty　is　to　devote　ourselves　to　something　that　is　not　HE；

and　let　that　something　be　a　man　or　an　idea；　it　is　betrayal　all　the

same；these　are　heights　to　which　common　women　cannot　attain；　they

know　but　two　matter…of…fact　ways；　the　great　high…road　of　virtue；　or

the　muddy　path　of　the　courtesan。〃



Pride；　you　see；　was　her　instrument；　she　flattered　all　vanities　by

deifying　them。　She　put　me　so　high　that　she　might　live　at　my　feet；　in

fact；　the　seductions　of　her　spirit　were　literally　expressed　by　an

attitude　of　subserviency　and　her　complete　submission。　In　what　words

shall　I　describe　those　first　six　months　when　I　was　lost　in　enervating

enjoyments；　in　the　meshes　of　a　love　fertile　in　pleasures　and　knowing

how　to　vary　them　with　a　cleverness　learned　by　long　experience；　yet

hiding　that　knowledge　beneath　the　transports　of　passion。　These

pleasures；　the　sudden　revelation　of　the　poetry　of　the　senses；

constitute　the　powerful　tie　which　binds　young　men　to　women　older　than

they。　It　is　the　chain　of　the　galley…slave；　it　leaves　an　ineffaceable

brand　upon　the　soul；　filling　it　with　disgust　for　pure　and　innocent

love　decked　with　flowers　only；　which　serves　no　alcohol　in　curiousl