the lily of the valley-第49章
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luminous breeze of the mornings and the hope of the crimsoned
evenings; that I met; in the salons of the Elysee…Bourbon; one of
those illustrious ladies who reign as sovereigns in society。 Immensely
rich; born of a family whose blood was pure from all misalliance since
the Conquest; married to one of the most distinguished old men of the
British peerage; it was nevertheless evident that these advantages
were mere accessories heightening this lady's beauty; graces; manners;
and wit; all of which had a brilliant quality which dazzled before it
charmed。 She was the idol of the day; reigning the more securely over
Parisian society because she possessed the quality most necessary to
success;the hand of iron in the velvet glove spoken of by
Bernadotte。
You know the singular characteristics of English people; the distance
and coldness of their own Channel which they put between them and
whoever has not been presented to them in a proper manner。 Humanity
seems to be an ant…hill on which they tread; they know none of their
species except the few they admit into their circle; they ignore even
the language of the rest; tongues may move and eyes may see in their
presence but neither sound nor look has reached them; to them; the
people are as if they were not。 The British present an image of their
own island; where law rules everything; where all is automatic in
every station of life; where the exercise of virtue appears to be the
necessary working of a machine which goes by clockwork。 Fortifications
of polished steel rise around the Englishwoman behind the golden wires
of her household cage (where the feed…box and the drinking…cup; the
perches and the food are exquisite in quality); but they make her
irresistibly attractive。 No people ever trained married women so
carefully to hypocrisy by holding them rigidly between the two
extremes of death or social station; for them there is no middle path
between shame and honor; either the wrong is completed or it does not
exist; it is all or nothing;Hamlet's 〃To be or not to be。〃 This
alternative; coupled with the scorn to which the customs of her
country have trained her; make an Englishwoman a being apart in the
world。 She is a helpless creature; forced to be virtuous yet ready to
yield; condemned to live a lie in her heart; yet delightful in outward
appearancefor these English rest everything on appearances。 Hence
the special charms of their women: the enthusiasm for a love which is
all their life; the minuteness of their care for their persons; the
delicacy of their passion; so charmingly rendered in the famous scene
of Romeo and Juliet in which; with one stroke; Shakespeare's genius
depicted his country…women。
You; who envy them so many things; what can I tell you that you do not
know of these white sirens; impenetrable apparently but easily
fathomed; who believe that love suffices love; and turn enjoyments to
satiety by never varying them; whose soul has one note only; their
voice one syllablean ocean of love in themselves; it is true; and he
who has never swum there misses part of the poetry of the senses; as
he who has never seen the sea has lost some strings of his lyre。 You
know the why and wherefore of these words。 My relations with the
Marchioness of Dudley had a disastrous celebrity。 At an age when the
senses have dominion over our conduct; and when in my case they had
been violently repressed by circumstances; the image of the saint
bearing her slow martyrdom at Clochegourde shone so vividly before my
mind that I was able to resist all seductions。 It was the lustre of
this fidelity which attracted Lady Dudley's attention。 My resistance
stimulated her passion。 What she chiefly desired; like many
Englishwoman; was the spice of singularity; she wanted pepper;
capsicum; with her heart's food; just as Englishmen need condiments to
excite their appetite。 The dull languor forced into the lives of these
women by the constant perfection of everything about them; the
methodical regularity of their habits; leads them to adore the
romantic and to welcome difficulty。 I was wholly unable to judge of
such a character。 The more I retreated to a cold distance the more
impassioned Lady Dudley became。 The struggle; in which she gloried;
excited the curiosity of several persons; and this in itself was a
form of happiness which to her mind made ultimate triumph obligatory。
Ah! I might have been saved if some good friend had then repeated to
me her cruel comment on my relations with Madame de Mortsauf。
〃I am wearied to death;〃 she said; 〃of these turtle…dove sighings。〃
Without seeking to justify my crime; I ask you to observe; Natalie;
that a man has fewer means of resisting a woman than she has of
escaping him。 Our code of manners forbids the brutality of repressing
a woman; whereas repression with your sex is not only allurement to
ours; but is imposed upon you by conventions。 With us; on the
contrary; some unwritten law of masculine self…conceit ridicules a
man's modesty; we leave you the monopoly of that virtue; that you may
have the privilege of granting us favors; but reverse the case; and
man succumbs before sarcasm。
Though protected by my love; I was not of an age to be wholly
insensible to the triple seductions of pride; devotion; and beauty。
When Arabella laid at my feet the homage of a ball…room where she
reigned a queen; when she watched by glance to know if my taste
approved of her dress; and when she trembled with pleasure on seeing
that she pleased me; I was affected by her emotion。 Besides; she
occupied a social position where I could not escape her; I could not
refuse invitations in the diplomatic circle; her rank admitted her
everywhere; and with the cleverness all women display to obtain what
pleases them; she often contrived that the mistress of the house
should place me beside her at dinner。 On such occasions she spoke in
low tones to my ear。 〃If I were loved like Madame de Mortsauf;〃 she
said once; 〃I should sacrifice all。〃 She did submit herself with a
laugh in many humble ways; she promised me a discretion equal to any
test; and even asked that I would merely suffer her to love me。 〃Your
friend always; your mistress when you will;〃 she said。 At last; after
an evening when she had made herself so beautiful that she was certain
to have excited my desires; she came to me。 The scandal resounded
through England; where the aristocracy was horrified like heaven
itself at the fall of its highest angel。 Lady Dudley abandoned her
place in the British empyrean; gave up her wealth; and endeavored to
eclipse by her sacrifices HER whose virtue had been the cause of this
great disaster。 She took delight; like the devil on the pinnacle of
the temple; in showing me all the riches of her passionate kingdom。
Read me; I pray you; with indulgence。 The matter concerns one of the
most interesting problems of human life;a crisis to which most men
are subjected; and which I desire to explain; if only to place a
warning light upon the reef。 This beautiful woman; so slender; so
fragile; this milk…white creature; so yielding; so submissive; so
gentle; her brow so endearing; the hair that crowns it so fair and
fine; this tender woman; whose brilliancy is phosphorescent and
fugitive; has; in truth; an iron nature。 No horse; no matter how fiery
he may be; can conquer her vigorous wrist; or strive against that hand
so soft in appearance; but never tired。 She has the foot of a doe; a
thin; muscular little foot; indescribably graceful in outline。 She is
so strong that she fears no struggle; men cannot follow her on
horseback; she would win a steeple…chase against a centaur; she can
bring down a stag without stopping her horse。 Her body never
perspires; it inhales the fire of the atmosphere; and lives in water
under pain of not living at all。 Her love is African; her desires are
like the whirlwinds of the desertthe desert; whose torrid expanse is
i