the lily of the valley-第45章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



thoughts　fastened　as　bees　swarm　upon　the　branch　of　a　flowering　tree。

In　my　mad　jealousy　I　reproached　myself　that　I　had　dared　nothing；　that

I　had　not　tightened　the　bonds　of　a　tenderness　which　seemed　to　me　at

that　moment　more　subtile　than　real；　by　the　chains　of　positive

possession。



The　count's　illness；　caused　perhaps　by　a　chill　under　the　walnut…tree；

became　alarming　in　a　few　hours。　I　went　to　Tours　for　a　famous　doctor

named　Origet；　but　was　unable　to　find　him　until　evening。　He　spent　that

night　and　the　next　day　at　Clochegourde。　We　had　sent　the　huntsman　in

quest　of　leeches；　but　the　doctor；　thinking　the　case　urgent；　wished　to

bleed　the　count　immediately；　but　had　brought　no　lancet　with　him。　I　at

once　started　for　Azay　in　the　midst　of　a　storm；　roused　a　surgeon；

Monsieur　Deslandes；　and　compelled　him　to　come　with　the　utmost　celerity

to　Clochegourde。　Ten　minutes　later　and　the　count　would　have　died；　the

bleeding　saved　him。　But　in　spite　of　this　preliminary　success　the

doctor　predicted　an　inflammatory　fever　of　the　worst　kind。　The　countess

was　overcome　by　the　fear　that　she　was　the　secret　cause　of　this　crisis。

Two　weak　to　thank　me　for　my　exertions；　she　merely　gave　me　a　few

smiles；　the　equivalent　of　the　kiss　she　had　once　laid　upon　my　hand。

Fain　would　I　have　seen　in　those　haggard　smiles　the　remorse　of　illicit

love；　but　no；　they　were　only　the　act　of　contrition　of　an　innocent

repentance；　painful　to　see　in　one　so　pure；　the　expression　of　admiring

tenderness　for　me　whom　she　regarded　as　noble　while　reproaching　herself

for　an　imaginary　wrong。　Surely　she　loved　as　Laura　loved　Petrarch；　and

not　as　Francesca　da　Rimini　loved　Paolo；a　terrible　discovery　for　him

who　had　dreamed　the　union　of　the　two　loves。



The　countess　half　lay；　her　body　bent　forwards；　her　arms　hanging；　in　a

soiled　armchair　in　a　room　that　was　like　the　lair　of　a　wild　boar。　The

next　evening　before　the　doctor　departed　he　said　to　the　countess；　who

had　sat　up　the　night　before；　that　she　must　get　a　nurse；　as　the　illness

would　be　a　long　one。



〃A　nurse！〃　she　said；　〃no；　no！　We　will　take　care　of　him；〃　she　added；

looking　at　me；　〃we　owe　it　to　ourselves　to　save　him。〃



The　doctor　gave　us　both　an　observing　look　full　of　astonishment。　The

words　were　of　a　nature　to　make　him　suspect　an　atonement。　He　promised

to　come　twice　a　week；　left　directions　for　the　treatment　with　Monsieur

Deslandes；　and　pointed　out　the　threatening　symptoms　that　might　oblige

us　to　send　for　him。　I　asked　the　countess　to　let　me　sit　up　the

alternate　nights　and　then；　not　without　difficulty；　I　persuaded　her　to

go　to　bed　on　the　third　night。　When　the　house　was　still　and　the　count

sleeping　I　heard　a　groan　from　Henriette's　room。　My　anxiety　was　so　keen

that　I　went　to　her。　She　was　kneeling　before　the　crucifix　bathed　in

tears。　〃My　God！〃　she　cried；　〃if　this　be　the　cost　of　a　murmur；　I　will

never　complain　again。〃



〃You　have　left　him！〃　she　said　on　seeing　me。



〃I　heard　you　moaning；　and　I　was　frightened。〃



〃Oh；　I！〃　she　said；　〃I　am　well。〃



Wishing　to　be　certain　that　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　was　asleep　she　came

down　with　me；　by　the　light　of　the　lamp　we　looked　at　him。　The　count　was

weakened　by　the　loss　of　blood　and　was　more　drowsy　than　asleep；　his

hands　picked　the　counterpane　and　tried　to　draw　it　over　him。



〃They　say　the　dying　do　that；〃　she　whispered。　〃Ah！　if　he　were　to　die　of

this　illness；　that　I　have　caused；　never　will　I　marry　again；　I　swear

it；〃　she　said；　stretching　her　hand　over　his　head　with　a　solemn

gesture。



〃I　have　done　all　I　could　to　save　him；〃　I　said。



〃Oh；　you！〃　she　said；　〃you　are　good；　it　is　I　who　am　guilty。〃



She　stooped　to　that　discolored　brow；　wiped　the　perspiration　from　it

and　laid　a　kiss　there　solemnly；　but　I　saw；　not　without　joy；　that　she

did　it　as　an　expiation。



〃Blanche；　I　am　thirsty；〃　said　the　count　in　a　feeble　voice。



〃You　see　he　knows　me；〃　she　said　giving　him　to　drink。



Her　accent；　her　affectionate　manner　to　him　seemed　to　me　to　take　the

feelings　that　bound　us　together　and　immolate　them　to　the　sick　man。



〃Henriette；〃　I　said；　〃go　and　rest；　I　entreat　you。〃



〃No　more　Henriette；〃　she　said；　interrupting　me　with　imperious　haste。



〃Go　to　bed　if　you　would　not　be　ill。　Your　children；　HE　HIMSELF　would

order　you　to　be　careful；　it　is　a　case　where　selfishness　becomes　a

virtue。〃



〃Yes；〃　she　said。



She　went　away；　recommending　her　husband　to　my　care　by　a　gesture　which

would　have　seemed　like　approaching　delirium　if　childlike　grace　had　not

been　mingled　with　the　supplicating　forces　of　repentance。　But　the　scene

was　terrible；　judged　by　the　habitual　state　of　that　pure　soul；　it

alarmed　me；　I　feared　the　exaltation　of　her　conscience。　When　the　doctor

came　again；　I　revealed　to　him　the　nature　of　my　pure　Henriette's　self…

reproach。　This　confidence；　made　discreetly；　removed　Monsieur　Origet's

suspicions；　and　enabled　him　to　quiet　the　distress　of　that　noble　soul

by　telling　her　that　in　any　case　the　count　had　to　pass　through　this

crisis；　and　that　as　for　the　nut…tree；　his　remaining　there　had　done

more　good　than　harm　by　developing　the　disease。



For　fifty…two　days　the　count　hovered　between　life　and　death。　Henriette

and　I　each　watched　twenty…six　nights。　Undoubtedly；　Monsieur　de

Mortsauf　owed　his　life　to　our　nursing　and　to　the　careful　exactitude

with　which　we　carried　out　the　orders　of　Monsieur　Origet。　Like　all

philosophical　physicians；　whose　sagacious　observation　of　what　passes

before　them　justifies　many　a　doubt　of　noble　actions　when　they　are　only

the　accomplishment　of　a　duty；　this　man；　while　assisting　the　countess

and　me　in　our　rivalry　of　devotion；　could　not　help　watching　us；　with

scrutinizing　glances；　so　afraid　was　he　of　being　deceived　in　his

admiration。



〃In　diseases　of　this　nature；〃　he　said　to　me　at　his　third　visit；　〃death

has　a　powerful　auxiliary　in　the　moral　nature　when　that　is　seriously

disturbed；　as　it　is　in　this　case。　The　doctor；　the　family；　the　nurses

hold　the　patient's　life　in　their　hands；　sometimes　a　single　word；　a

fear　expressed　by　a　gesture；　has　the　effect　of　poison。〃



As　he　spoke　Origet　studied　my　face　and　expression；　but　he　saw　in　my

eyes　the　clear　look　of　an　honest　soul。　In　fact　during　the　whole　course

of　this　distressing　illness　there　never　passed　through　my　mind　a

single　one　of　the　involuntary　evil　thoughts　which　do　sometimes　sear

the　consciences　of　the　innocent。　To　those　who　study　nature　in　its

grandeur　as　a　whole　all　tends　to　unity　through　assimilation。　The　moral

world　must　undoubtedly　be　ruled　by　an　analogous　principle。　In　an　pure

sphere　all　is　pure。　The　atmosphere　of　heaven　was　around　my　Henriette；

it　seemed　as　though　an　evil　desire　must　forever　part　me　from　her。　Thus

she　not　only　stood　for　happiness；　but　for　virtue；　she　WAS　virtue。

Finding　us　always　equally　careful　and　attentive；　the　doctor's　words

and　manners　took　a　tone　of　respect　and　even　pity；　he　seemed　to　say　to

himself；　〃Here　are　the　real　sufferers；　they　hide　their　ills；　and

forget　them。〃　By　a　fortunate　change；　which；　according　to　our　excellent

doctor；　is　common　enough　in　men　who　are　completely　shattered；　Monsieur

de　Mortsauf　was　patient；　obedient；　complained　little；　and　showed

surprising　docility；he；　who　when　well　never　did　the　simplest　thing

without　discussion。　The　secret　of　this　submission　to　medical　care；

which　he　formerly　so　derided；　was　an　innate　dread　of　death；　another

contradiction　in　a　man　of　tried　courage。　This　dread　may　perhaps

explain　several　other　peculiarities　in　the　character　which　the　cruel

years　of　exile　had　developed。



Shall　I　admit　to　you；　Natalie；　and　will　you　believe　me？　these　fifty

days　and　the　month　that　followed　them　were　the　happiest　moments　of　my

life。　Love；　in　the　celestial　spaces　of　the　soul　is　like　a　noble　river

flowing　through　a　valley；　the　rains；　the　brooks；　the　torrents　hie　to

it；　the　trees　fall　upon　its　surface；　so　do　the　flowers；　the　gravel　of

its　shores；　the　rocks　of　the　summits；　storms　and　the　loitering　tribute

of　the　crystal　streams　alike　in