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第44章

the lily of the valley-第44章

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mother treats the child she spoils; but now; if you want to liveand

you do want it;〃 I said; looking at her; 〃use the control you have

over him。 You know what it is; he loves you and he fears you; make him

fear you more; oppose his erratic will with your firm will。 Extend

your power over him; confine his madness to a moral sphere just as we

lock maniacs in a cell。〃



〃Dear child;〃 she said; smiling bitterly; 〃a woman without a heart

might do it。 But I am a mother; I should make a poor jailer。 Yes; I

can suffer; but I cannot make others suffer。 Never!〃 she said; 〃never!

not even to obtain some great and honorable result。 Besides; I should

have to lie in my heart; disguise my voice; lower my head; degrade my

gesturedo not ask of me such falsehoods。 I can stand between

Monsieur de Mortsauf and his children; I willingly receive his blows

that they may not fall on others; I can do all that; and will do it to

conciliate conflicting interests; but I can do no more。〃



〃Let me worship thee; O saint; thrice holy!〃 I exclaimed; kneeling at

her feet and kissing her robe; with which I wiped my tears。 〃But if he

kills you?〃 I cried。



She turned pale and said; lifting her eyes to heaven:



〃God's will be done!〃



〃Do you know that the king said to your father; 'So that devil of a

Mortsauf is still living'?〃



〃A jest on the lips of the king;〃 she said; 〃is a crime when repeated

here。〃



In spite of our precautions the count had tracked us; he now arrived;

bathed in perspiration; and sat down under a walnut…tree where the

countess had stopped to give me that rebuke。 I began to talk about the

vintage; the count was silent; taking no notice of the dampness under

the tree。 After a few insignificant remarks; interspersed with pauses

that were very significant; he complained of nausea and headache; but

he spoke gently; and did not appeal to our pity; or describe his

sufferings in his usual exaggerated way。 We paid no attention to him。

When we reached the house; he said he felt worse and should go to bed;

which he did; quite naturally and with much less complaint than usual。

We took advantage of the respite and went down to our dear terrace

accompanied by Madeleine。



〃Let us get that boat and go upon the river;〃 said the countess after

we had made a few turns。 〃We might go and look at the fishing which is

going on to…day。〃



We went out by the little gate; found the punt; jumped into it and

were presently paddling up the Loire。 Like three children amused with

trifles; we looked at the sedges along the banks and the blue and

green dragon…flies; the countess wondered perhaps that she was able to

enjoy such peaceful pleasures in the midst of her poignant griefs; but

Nature's calm; indifferent to our struggles; has a magic gift of

consolation。 The tumults of a love full of restrained desires

harmonize with the wash of the water; the flowers that the hand of man

has never wilted are the voice of his secret dreams; the voluptuous

swaying of the boat vaguely responds to the thoughts that are floating

in his soul。 We felt the languid influence of this double poesy。

Words; tuned to the diapason of nature; disclosed mysterious graces;

looks were impassioned rays sharing the light shed broadcast by the

sun on the glowing meadows。 The river was a path along which we flew。

Our spirit; no longer kept down by the measured tread of our

footsteps; took possession of the universe。 The abounding joy of a

child at liberty; graceful in its motions; enticing in its play; is

the living expression of two freed souls; delighting themselves by

becoming ideally the wondrous being dreamed of by Plato and known to

all whose youth has been filled with a blessed love。 To describe to

you that hour; not in its indescribable details but in its essence; I

must say to you that we loved each other in all the creations animate

and inanimate which surrounded us; we felt without us the happiness

our own hearts craved; it so penetrated our being that the countess

took off her gloves and let her hands float in the water as if to cool

an inward ardor。 Her eyes spoke; but her mouth; opening like a rose to

the breeze; gave voice to no desire。 You know the harmony of deep

tones mingling perfectly with high ones? Ever; when I hear it now; it

recalls to me the harmony of our two souls in this one hour; which

never came again。



〃Where do you fish?〃 I asked; 〃if you can only do so from the banks

you own?〃



〃Near Pont…de…Ruan;〃 she replied。 〃Ah! we now own the river from Pont…

de…Ruan to Clochegourde; Monsieur de Mortsauf has lately bought forty

acres of the meadow lands with the savings of two years and the

arrearage of his pension。 Does that surprise you?〃



〃Surprise me?〃 I cried; 〃I would that all the valley were yours。〃 She

answered me with a smile。 Presently we came below the bridge to a

place where the Indre widens and where the fishing was going on。



〃Well; Martineau?〃 she said。



〃Ah; Madame la comtesse; such bad luck! We have fished up from the

mill the last three hours; and have taken nothing。〃



We landed near them to watch the drawing in of the last net; and all

three of us sat down in the shade of a 〃bouillard;〃 a sort of poplar

with a white bark; which grows on the banks of the Danube and the

Loire (probably on those of other large rivers); and sheds; in the

spring of the year; a white and silky fluff; the covering of its

flower。 The countess had recovered her august serenity; she half

regretted the unveiling of her griefs; and mourned that she had cried

aloud like Job; instead of weeping like the Magdalen;a Magdalen

without loves; or galas; or prodigalities; but not without beauty and

fragrance。 The net came in at her feet full of fish; tench; barbels;

pike; perch; and an enormous carp; which floundered about on the

grass。



〃Madame brings luck!〃 exclaimed the keeper。



All the laborers opened their eyes as they looked with admiration at

the woman whose fairy wand seemed to have touched the nets。 Just then

the huntsman was seen urging his horse over the meadows at a full

gallop。 Fear took possession of her。 Jacques was not with us; and the

mother's first thought; as Virgil so poetically says; is to press her

children to her breast when danger threatens。



〃Jacques! Where is Jacques? What has happened to my boy?〃



She did not love me! If she had loved me I should have seen upon her

face when confronted with my sufferings that expression of a lioness

in despair。



〃Madame la comtesse; Monsieur le comte is worse。〃



She breathed more freely and started to run towards Clochegourde;

followed by me and by Madeleine。



〃Follow me slowly;〃 she said; looking back; 〃don't let the dear child

overheat herself。 You see how it is; Monsieur de Mortsauf took that

walk in the sun which put him into a perspiration; and sitting under

the walnut…tree may be the cause of a great misfortune。〃



The words; said in the midst of her agitation; showed plainly the

purity of her soul。 The death of the count a misfortune! She reached

Clochegourde with great rapidity; passing through a gap in the wall

and crossing the fields。 I returned slowly。 Henriette's words lighted

my mind; but as the lightning falls and blasts the gathered harvest。

On the river I had fancied I was her chosen one; now I felt bitterly

the sincerity of her words。 The lover who is not everything is

nothing。 I loved with the desire of a love that knows what it seeks;

which feeds in advance on coming transports; and is content with the

pleasures of the soul because it mingles with them others which the

future keeps in store。 If Henriette loved; it was certain that she

knew neither the pleasures of love nor its tumults。 She lived by

feelings only; like a saint with God。 I was the object on which her

thoughts fastened as bees swarm upon the branch of a flowering tree。

In my mad jealousy I reproached myself that I had dared nothing; t

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