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第40章

the lily of the valley-第40章

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State; and I also received a private and permanent place in the

employment of Louis XVIII。 himself;a confidential position; not

highly distinguished; but without any risks; a position which put me

at the very heart of the government and has been the source of all my

subsequent prosperity。 Madame de Mortsauf had judged rightly。 I now

owed everything to her; power and wealth; happiness and knowledge; she

guided and encouraged me; purified my heart; and gave to my will that

unity of purpose without which the powers of youth are wasted。 Later I

had a colleague; we each served six months。 We were allowed to supply

each other's place if necessary; we had rooms at the Chateau; a

carriage; and large allowances for travelling when absent on missions。

Strange position! We were the secret disciples of a monarch in a

policy to which even his enemies have since done signal justice; alone

with us he gave judgment on all things; foreign and domestic; yet we

had no legitimate influence; often we were consulted like Laforet by

Moliere; and made to feel that the hesitations of long experience were

confirmed or removed by the vigorous perceptions of youth。



In other respects my future was secured in a manner to satisfy

ambition。 Beside my salary as master of petitions; paid by the budget

of the council of State; the king gave me a thousand francs a month

from his privy purse; and often himself added more to it。 Though the

king knew well that no young man of twenty…three could long bear up

under the labors with which he loaded me; my colleague; now a peer of

France; was not appointed till August; 1817。 The choice was a

difficult one; our functions demanded so many capabilities that the

king was long in coming to a decision。 He did me the honor to ask

which of the young men among whom he was hesitating I should like for

an associate。 Among them was one who had been my school…fellow at

Lepitre's; I did not select him。 His Majesty asked why。



〃The king;〃 I replied; 〃chooses men who are equally faithful; but

whose capabilities differ。 I choose the one whom I think the most

able; certain that I shall always be able to get on with him。〃



My judgment coincided with that of the king; who was pleased with the

sacrifice I had made。 He said on this occasion; 〃You are to be the

chief〃; and he related these circumstances to my colleague; who

became; in return for the service I had done him; my good friend。 The

consideration shown to me by the Duc de Lenoncourt set the tone of

that which I met with in society。 To have it said; 〃The king takes an

interest in the young man; that young man has a future; the king likes

him;〃 would have served me in place of talents; and it now gave to the

kindly welcome accorded to youth a certain respect that is only given

to power。 In the salon of the Duchesse de Lenoncourt and also at the

house of my sister who had just married the Marquis de Listomere; son

of the old lady in the Ile St。 Louis; I gradually came to know the

influential personages of the Faubourg St。 Germain。



Henriette herself put me at the heart of the circle then called 〃le

Petit Chateau〃 by the help of her great…aunt; the Princesse de

Blamont…Chauvry; to whom she wrote so warmly in my behalf that the

princess immediately sent for me。 I cultivated her and contrived to

please her; and she became; not my protectress but a friend; in whose

kindness there was something maternal。 The old lady took pains to make

me intimate with her daughter Madame d'Espard; with the Duchesse de

Langeais; the Vicomtesse de Beauseant; and the Duchesse de

Maufrigneuse; women who held the sceptre of fashion; and who were all

the more gracious to me because I made no pretensions and was always

ready to be useful and agreeable to them。 My brother Charles; far from

avoiding me; now began to lean upon me; but my rapid success roused a

secret jealousy in his mind which in after years caused me great

vexation。 My father and mother; surprised by a triumph so unexpected;

felt their vanity flattered; and received me at last as a son。 But

their feeling was too artificial; I might say false; to let their

present treatment have much influence upon a sore heart。 Affectations

stained with selfishness win little sympathy; the heart abhors

calculations and profits of all kinds。



I wrote regularly to Henriette; who answered by two letters a month。

Her spirit hovered over me; her thoughts traversed space and made the

atmosphere around me pure。 No woman could captivate me。 The king

noticed my reserve; and as; in this respect; he belonged to the school

of Louis XV。; he called me; in jest; Mademoiselle de Vandenesse; but

my conduct pleased him。 I am convinced that the habit of patience I

acquired in my childhood and practised at Clochegourde had much to do

in my winning the favor of the king; who was always most kind to me。

He no doubt took a fancy to read my letters; for he soon gave up his

notion of my life as that of a young girl。 One day when the duke was

on duty; and I was writing at the king's dictation; the latter

suddenly remarked; in that fine; silvery voice of his; to which he

could give; when he chose; the biting tone of epigram:



〃So that poor devil of a Mortsauf persists in living?〃



〃Yes;〃 replied the duke。



〃Madame de Mortsauf is an angel; whom I should like to see at my

court;〃 continued the king; 〃but if I cannot manage it; my chancellor

here;〃 turning to me; 〃may be more fortunate。 You are to have six

months' leave; I have decided on giving you the young man we spoke of

yesterday as colleague。 Amuse yourself at Clochegourde; friend Cato!〃

and he laughed as he had himself wheeled out of the room。



I flew like a swallow to Touraine。 For the first time I was to show

myself to my beloved; not merely a little less insignificant; but

actually in the guise of an elegant young man; whose manners had been

formed in the best salons; his education finished by gracious women;

who had found at last a compensation for all his sufferings; and had

put to use the experience given to him by the purest angel to whom

heaven had ever committed the care of a child。 You know how my mother

had equipped me for my three months' visit at Frapesle。 When I reached

Clochegourde after fulfilling my mission in Vendee; I was dressed like

a huntsman; I wore a jacket with white and red buttons; striped

trousers; leathern gaiters and shoes。 Tramping through underbrush had

so injured my clothes that the count was obliged to lend me linen。 On

the present occasion; two years' residence in Paris; constant

intercourse with the king; the habits of a life at ease; my completed

growth; a youthful countenance; which derived a lustre from the

placidity of the soul within magnetically united with the pure soul

that beamed on me from Clochegourde;all these things combined had

transformed me。 I was self…possessed without conceit; inwardly pleased

to find myself; in spite of my years; at the summit of affairs; above

all; I had the consciousness of being secretly the support and comfort

of the dearest woman on earth; and her unuttered hope。 Perhaps I felt

a flutter of vanity as the postilions cracked their whips along the

new avenue leading from the main road to Clochegourde and through an

iron gate I had never seen before; which opened into a circular

enclosure recently constructed。 I had not written to the countess of

my coming; wishing to surprise her。 For this I found myself doubly in

fault: first; she was overwhelmed with the excitement of a pleasure

long desired; but supposed to be impossible; and secondly; she proved

to me that all such deliberate surprises are in bad taste。



When Henriette saw a young man in him who had hitherto seemed but a

child to her; she lowered her eyes with a sort of tragic slowness。 She

allowed me to take and kiss her hand without betraying her inward

pleasure; which I nevertheless felt in her sensitive shiver。 When she

raised her face

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