the lily of the valley-第39章

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soon　after。　As　for　you；　I　not　only　see　you　brilliantly　illuminated；

but　I　hear　a　voice　which　explains　to　me　without　words；　by　some　mental

communication；　what　you　ought　to　do。　Does　any　law　forbid　me　to　use

this　wonderful　gift　for　my　children　and　for　you？〃　she　asked；　falling

into　a　reverie。　Then；　after　a　pause；　she　added；　〃Perhaps　God　wills　to

take　the　place　of　their　father。〃



〃Let　me　believe　that　my　obedience　is　due　to　none　but　you；〃　I　cried。



She　gave　me　one　of　her　exquisitely　gracious　smiles；　which　so　exalted

my　heart　that　I　should　not　have　felt　a　death…blow　if　given　at　that

moment。



〃As　soon　as　the　king　returns　to　Paris；　go　there；　leave　Clochegourde；〃

she　said。　〃It　may　be　degrading　to　beg　for　places　and　favors；　but　it

would　be　ridiculous　to　be　out　of　the　way　of　receiving　them。　Great

changes　will　soon　take　place。　The　king　needs　capable　and　trustworthy

men；　don't　fail　him。　It　is　well　for　you　to　enter　young　into　the

affairs　of　the　nation　and　learn　your　way；　for　statesmen；　like　actors；

have　a　routine　business　to　acquire；　which　genius　does　not　reveal；　it

must　be　learnt。　My　father　heard　the　Duc　de　Choiseul　say　this。　Think　of

me；〃　she　said；　after　a　pause；　〃let　me　enjoy　the　pleasures　of

superiority　in　a　soul　that　is　all　my　own；　for　are　you　not　my　son？〃



〃Your　son？〃　I　said；　sullenly。



〃Yes；　my　son！〃　she　cried；　mocking　me；　〃is　not　that　a　good　place　in　my

heart？〃



The　bell　rang　for　dinner；　she　took　my　arm　and　leaned　contentedly　upon

it。



〃You　have　grown；〃　she　said；　as　we　went　up　the　steps。　When　we　reached

the　portico　she　shook　my　arm　a　little；　as　if　my　looks　were

importunate；　for　though　her　eyes　were　lowered　she　knew　that　I　saw　only

her。　Then　she　said；　with　a　charming　air　of　pretended　impatience；　full

of　grace　and　coquetry；　〃Come；　why　don't　you　look　at　our　dear　valley？〃



She　turned；　held　her　white　silk　sun…shade　over　our　heads　and　drew

Jacques　closely　to　her　side。　The　motion　of　her　head　as　she　looked

towards　the　Indre；　the　punt；　the　meadows；　showed　me　that　in　my　absence

she　had　come　to　many　an　understanding　with　those　misty　horizons　and

their　vaporous　outline。　Nature　was　a　mantle　which　sheltered　her

thoughts。　She　now　knew　what　the　nightingale　was　sighing　the　livelong

night；　what　the　songster　of　the　sedges　hymned　with　his　plaintive　note。



At　eight　o'clock　that　evening　I　was　witness　of　a　scene　which　touched

me　deeply；　and　which　I　had　never　yet　witnessed；　for　in　my　former

visits　I　had　played　backgammon　with　the　count　while　his　wife　took　the

children　into　the　dining…room　before　their　bedtime。　The　bell　rang

twice；　and　all　the　servants　of　the　household　entered　the　room。



〃You　are　now　our　guest　and　must　submit　to　convent　rule；〃　said　the

countess；　leading　me　by　the　hand　with　that　air　of　innocent　gaiety

which　distinguishes　women　who　are　naturally　pious。



The　count　followed。　Masters；　children；　and　servants　knelt　down；　all

taking　their　regular　places。　It　was　Madeleine's　turn　to　read　the

prayers。　The　dear　child　said　them　in　her　childish　voice；　the　ingenuous

tones　of　which　rose　clear　in　the　harmonious　silence　of　the　country；

and　gave　to　the　words　the　candor　of　holy　innocence；　the　grace　of

angels。　It　was　the　most　affecting　prayer　I　ever　heard。　Nature　replied

to　the　child's　voice　with　the　myriad　murmurs　of　the　coming　night；　like

the　low　accompaniment　of　an　organ　lightly　touched；　Madeleine　was　on

the　right　of　the　countess；　Jacques　on　her　left。　The　graceful　curly

heads；　between　which　rose　the　smooth　braids　of　the　mother；　and　above

all　three　the　perfectly　white　hair　and　yellow　cranium　of　the　father；

made　a　picture　which　repeated；　in　some　sort；　the　ideas　aroused　by　the

melody　of　the　prayer。　As　if　to　fulfil　all　conditions　of　the　unity

which　marks　the　sublime；　this　calm　and　collected　group　were　bathed　in

the　fading　light　of　the　setting　sun；　its　red　tints　coloring　the　room；

impelling　the　soulbe　it　poetic　or　superstitiousto　believe　that　the

fires　of　heaven　were　visiting　these　faithful　servants　of　God　as　they

knelt　there　without　distinction　of　rank；　in　the　equality　which　heaven

demands。　Thinking　back　to　the　days　of　the　patriarchs　my　mind　still

further　magnified　this　scene；　so　grand　in　its　simplicity。



The　children　said　good…night；　the　servants　bowed；　the　countess　went

away　holding　a　child　by　each　hand；　and　I　returned　to　the　salon　with

the　count。



〃We　provide　you　with　salvation　there；　and　hell　here；〃　he　said；

pointing　to　the　backgammon…board。



The　countess　returned　in　half　an　hour；　and　brought　her　frame　near　the

table。



〃This　is　for　you；〃　she　said；　unrolling　the　canvas；　〃but　for　the　last

three　months　it　has　languished。　Between　that　rose　and　this　heartsease

my　poor　child　was　ill。〃



〃Come；　come；〃　said　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf；　〃don't　talk　of　that　any　more。

Sixfive；　emissary　of　the　king！〃



When　alone　in　my　room　I　hushed　my　breathing　that　I　might　hear　her

passing　to　and　fro　in　hers。　She　was　calm　and　pure；　but　I　was　lashed

with　maddening　ideas。　〃Why　should　she　not　be　mine？〃　I　thought；

〃perhaps　she　is；　like　me；　in　this　whirlwind　of　agitation。〃　At　one

o'clock；　I　went　down；　walking　noiselessly；　and　lay　before　her　door。

With　my　ear　pressed　to　a　chink　I　could　hear　her　equable；　gentle

breathing；　like　that　of　a　child。　When　chilled　to　the　bone　I　went　back

to　bed　and　slept　tranquilly　till　morning。　I　know　not　what　prenatal

influence；　what　nature　within　me；　causes　the　delight　I　take　in　going

to　the　brink　of　precipices；　sounding　the　gulf　of　evil；　seeking　to　know

its　depths；　feeling　its　icy　chill；　and　retreating　in　deep　emotion。

That　hour　of　night　passed　on　the　threshold　of　her　door　where　I　wept

with　rage；though　she　never　knew　that　on　the　morrow　her　foot　had　trod

upon　my　tears　and　kisses；　on　her　virtue　first　destroyed　and　then

respected；　cursed　and　adored；that　hour；　foolish　in　the　eyes　of　many；

was　nevertheless　an　inspiration　of　the　same　mysterious　impulse　which

impels　the　soldier。　Many　have　told　me　they　have　played　their　lives

upon　it；　flinging　themselves　before　a　battery　to　know　if　they　could

escape　the　shot；　happy　in　thus　galloping　into　the　abyss　of

probabilities；　and　smoking　like　Jean　Bart　upon　the　gunpowder。



The　next　day　I　went　to　gather　flowers　and　made　two　bouquets。　The　count

admired　them；　though　generally　nothing　of　the　kind　appealed　to　him。

The　clever　saying　of　Champcenetz；　〃He　builds　dungeons　in　Spain；〃

seemed　to　have　been　made　for　him。



I　spent　several　days　at　Clochegourde；　going　but　seldom　to　Frapesle；

where；　however；　I　dined　three　times。　The　French　army　now　occupied

Tours。　Though　my　presence　was　health　and　strength　to　Madame　de

Mortsauf；　she　implored　me　to　make　my　way　to　Chateauroux；　and　so　round

by　Issoudun　and　Orleans　to　Paris　with　what　haste　I　could。　I　tried　to

resist；　but　she　commanded　me；　saying　that　my　guardian　angel　spoke。　I

obeyed。　Our　farewell　was；　this　time；　dim　with　tears；　she　feared　the

allurements　of　the　life　I　was　about　to　live。　Is　it　not　a　serious　thing

to　enter　the　maelstrom　of　interests；　passions；　and　pleasures　which

make　Paris　a　dangerous　ocean　for　chaste　love　and　purity　of　conscience？

I　promised　to　write　to　her　every　night；　relating　the　events　and

thoughts　of　the　day；　even　the　most　trivial。　When　I　gave　the　promise

she　laid　her　head　on　my　shoulder　and　said：　〃Leave　nothing　out；

everything　will　interest　me。〃



She　gave　me　letters　for　the　duke　and　duchess；　which　I　delivered　the

second　day　after　my　return。



〃You　are　in　luck；〃　said　the　duke；　〃dine　here　to…day；　and　go　with　me

this　evening　to　the　Chateau；　your　fortune　is　made。　The　king　spoke　of

you　this　morning；　and　said；　'He　is　young；　capable；　and　trustworthy。'

His　Majesty　added　that　he　wished　he　knew　whether　you　were　living　or

dead；　and　in　what　part　of　France　events　had　thrown　you　after　you　had

executed　your　mission　so　ably。〃



That　night　I　was　appointed　master　of　petitions　to　the　council　of

State；　and　I　also　received　a　private　and　permanent　place　in　the

employment　of　Louis　XVIII。