the lily of the valley-第21章

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her　daughter；　the　count　and　his　children。　The　large　straw　hat　which

hid　my　idol　from　me　did　not　tremble；　and　this　unconsciousness　of　my

presence　seemed　to　bind　me　to　her　more　than　all　the　past。　This　noble

Henriette　de　Lenoncourt；　my　Henriette；　whose　life　I　longed　to　garland；

was　praying　earnestly；　faith　gave　to　her　figure　an　abandonment；　a

prosternation；　the　attitude　of　some　religious　statue；　which　moved　me

to　the　soul。



According　to　village　custom；　vespers　were　said　soon　after　mass。　Coming

out　of　church　Madame　de　Chessel　naturally　proposed　to　her　neighbors　to

pass　the　intermediate　time　at　Frapesle　instead　of　crossing　the　Indre

and　the　meadows　twice　in　the　great　heat。　The　offer　was　accepted。

Monsieur　de　Chessel　gave　his　arm　to　the　duchess；　Madame　de　Chessel

took　that　of　the　count。　I　offered　mine　to　the　countess；　and　felt；　for

the　first　time；　that　beautiful　arm　against　my　side。　As　we　walked　from

the　church　to　Frapesle　by　the　woods　of　Sache；　where　the　light；

filtering　down　through　the　foliage；　made　those　pretty　patterns　on　the

path　which　seem　like　painted　silk；　such　sensations　of　pride；　such

ideas　took　possession　of　me　that　my　heart　beat　violently。



〃What　is　the　matter？〃　she　said；　after　walking　a　little　way　in　a

silence　I　dared　not　break。　〃Your　heart　beats　too　fast〃



〃I　have　heard　of　your　good　fortune；〃　I　replied；　〃and；　like　all　others

who　love　truly；　I　am　beset　with　vague　fears。　Will　your　new　dignities

change　you　and　lessen　your　friendship？〃



〃Change　me！〃　she　said；　〃oh；　fie！　Another　such　idea　and　I　shallnot

despise　you；　but　forget　you　forever。〃



I　looked　at　her　with　an　ecstasy　which　should　have　been　contagious。



〃We　profit　by　the　new　laws　which　we　have　neither　brought　about　nor

demanded；〃　she　said；　〃but　we　are　neither　place…hunters　nor　beggars；

besides；　as　you　know　very　well；　neither　Monsieur　de　Mortsauf　nor　I　can

leave　Clochegourde。　By　my　advice　he　has　declined　the　command　to　which

his　rank　entitled　him　at　the　Maison　Rouge。　We　are　quite　content　that

my　father　should　have　the　place。　This　forced　modesty；〃　she　added　with

some　bitterness；　〃has　already　been　of　service　to　our　son。　The　king；　to

whose　household　my　father　is　appointed；　said　very　graciously　that　he

would　show　Jacques　the　favor　we　were　not　willing　to　accept。　Jacques'

education；　which　must　now　be　thought　of；　is　already　being　discussed。

He　will　be　the　representative　of　two　houses；　the　Lenoncourt　and　the

Mortsauf　families。　I　can　have　no　ambition　except　for　him；　and

therefore　my　anxieties　seem　to　have　increased。　Not　only　must　Jacques

live；　but　he　must　be　made　worthy　of　his　name；　two　necessities　which；

as　you　know；　conflict。　And　then；　later；　what　friend　will　keep　him　safe

for　me　in　Paris；　where　all　things　are　pitfalls　for　the　soul　and

dangers　for　the　body？　My　friend；〃　she　said；　in　a　broken　voice；　〃who

could　not　see　upon　your　brow　and　in　your　eyes　that　you　are　one　who

will　inhabit　heights？　Be　some　day　the　guardian　and　sponsor　of　our　boy。

Go　to　Paris；　if　your　father　and　brother　will　not　second　you；　our

family；　above　all　my　mother；　who　has　a　genius　for　the　management　of

life；　will　help　you。　Profit　by　our　influence；　you　will　never　be

without　support　in　whatever　career　you　choose；　put　the　strength　of

your　desires　into　a　noble　ambition〃



〃I　understand　you；〃　I　said；　interrupting　her；　〃ambition　is　to　be　my

mistress。　I　have　no　need　of　that　to　be　wholly　yours。　No；　I　will　not　be

rewarded　for　my　obedience　here　by　receiving　favors　there。　I　will　go；　I

will　make　my　own　way；　I　will　rise　alone。　From　you　I　would　accept

everything；　from　others　nothing。〃



〃Child！〃　she　murmured；　ill…concealing　a　smile　of　pleasure。



〃Besides；　I　have　taken　my　vows；〃　I　went　on。　〃Thinking　over　our

situation　I　am　resolved　to　bind　myself　to　you　by　ties　that　never　can

be　broken。〃



She　trembled　slightly　and　stopped　short　to　look　at　me。



〃What　do　you　mean？〃　she　asked；　letting　the　couples　who　preceded　us

walk　on；　and　keeping　the　children　at　her　side。



〃This；〃　I　said；　〃but　first　tell　me　frankly　how　you　wish　me　to　love

you。〃



〃Love　me　as　my　aunt　loved　me；　I　gave　you　her　rights　when　I　permitted

you　to　call　me　by　the　name　which　she　chose　for　her　own　among　my

others。〃



〃Then　I　am　to　love　without　hope　and　with　an　absolute　devotion。　Well；

yes；　I　will　do　for　you　what　some　men　do　for　God。　I　shall　feel　that　you

have　asked　it。　I　will　enter　a　seminary　and　make　myself　a　priest；　and

then　I　will　educate　your　son。　Jacques　shall　be　myself　in　his　own　form；

political　conceptions；　thoughts；　energy；　patience；　I　will　give　him

all。　In　that　way　I　shall　live　near　to　you；　and　my　love；　enclosed　in

religion　as　a　silver　image　in　a　crystal　shrine；　can　never　be　suspected

of　evil。　You　will　not　have　to　fear　the　undisciplined　passions　which

grasp　a　man　and　by　which　already　I　have　allowed　myself　to　be

vanquished。　I　will　consume　my　own　being　in　the　flame；　and　I　will　love

you　with　a　purified　love。〃



She　turned　pale　and　said；　hurrying　her　words：　〃Felix；　do　not　put

yourself　in　bonds　that　might　prove　an　obstacle　to　our　happiness。　I

should　die　of　grief　for　having　caused　a　suicide　like　that。　Child；　do

you　think　despairing　love　a　life's　vocation？　Wait　for　life's　trials

before　you　judge　of　life；　I　command　it。　Marry　neither　the　Church　nor　a

woman；　marry　not　at　all；I　forbid　it。　Remain　free。　You　are　twenty…one

years　oldMy　God！　can　I　have　mistaken　him？　I　thought　two　months

sufficed　to　know　some　souls。〃



〃What　hope　have　you？〃　I　cried；　with　fire　in　my　eyes。



〃My　friend；　accept　our　help；　rise　in　life；　make　your　way　and　your

fortune　and　you　shall　know　my　hope。　And；〃　she　added；　as　if　she　were

whispering　a　secret；　〃never　release　the　hand　you　are　holding　at　this

moment。〃



She　bent　to　my　ear　as　she　said　these　words　which　proved　her　deep

solicitude　for　my　future。



〃Madeleine！〃　I　exclaimed　〃never！〃



We　were　close　to　a　wooden　gate　which　opened　into　the　park　of　Frapesle；

I　still　seem　to　see　its　ruined　posts　overgrown　with　climbing　plants

and　briers　and　mosses。　Suddenly　an　idea；　that　of　the　count's　death；

flashed　through　my　brain；　and　I　said；　〃I　understand　you。〃



〃I　am　glad　of　it；〃　she　answered　in　a　tone　which　made　me　know　I　had

supposed　her　capable　of　a　thought　that　could　never　be　hers。



Her　purity　drew　tears　of　admiration　from　my　eyes　which　the　selfishness

of　passion　made　bitter　indeed。　My　mind　reacted　and　I　felt　that　she　did

not　love　me　enough　even　to　wish　for　liberty。　So　long　as　love　recoils

from　a　crime　it　seems　to　have　its　limits；　and　love　should　be　infinite。

A　spasm　shook　my　heart。



〃She　does　not　love　me；〃　I　thought。



To　hide　what　was　in　my　soul　I　stooped　over　Madeleine　and　kissed　her

hair。



〃I　am　afraid　of　your　mother；〃　I　said　to　the　countess　presently；　to

renew　the　conversation。



〃So　am　I；〃　she　answered　with　a　gesture　full　of　childlike　gaiety。

〃Don't　forget　to　call　her　Madame　la　duchesse；　and　to　speak　to　her　in

the　third　person。　The　young　people　of　the　present　day　have　lost　these

polite　manners；　you　must　learn　them；　do　that　for　my　sake。　Besides；　it

is　such　good　taste　to　respect　women；　no　matter　what　their　age　may　be；

and　to　recognize　social　distinctions　without　disputing　them。　The

respect　shown　to　established　superiority　is　guarantee　for　that　which

is　due　to　you。　Solidarity　is　the　basis　of　society。　Cardinal　Della

Rovere　and　Raffaelle　were　two　powers　equally　revered。　You　have　sucked

the　milk　of　the　Revolution　in　your　academy　and　your　political　ideas

may　be　influenced　by　it；　but　as　you　advance　in　life　you　will　find　that

crude　and　ill…defined　principles　of　liberty　are　powerless　to　create

the　happiness　of　the　people。　Before　considering；　as　a　Lenoncourt；　what

an　aristocracy　ought　to　be；　my　common…sense　as　a　woman　of　the　people

tells　me　that　societies　can　exist　only　through　a　hierarchy。　You　are

now　at　a　turning…point　in　your　life；　when　you　must　choose　wisely。　Be

on　our　side；especially　now；〃　she　added；　laughing；　〃when　it

triumphs。〃