new burlesques(新讽刺诗)-第23章
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〃They are going to tell awful war stories now；〃 said the Moo Kow；
〃stories that are large and strong！ Some people are shocked others like
'em。〃
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Then he that was called Mulledwiney told a story。 In the middle of it
Miaow got up from the limb of the tree； coughed slightly； and put her paw
delicately over her mouth。 〃You must excuse me；〃 she said faintly。 〃I
am taken this way sometimesand I have left my salts at home。 Thanks！
I can get down myself！〃 The next moment she had disappeared； but was
heard coughing in the distance。
Mulledwiney winked at his companions and continued his story：
〃Wid that we wor in the thick av the foight。 Whin I say 'thick' I mane
it； sorr！ We wor that jammed together； divil a bit cud we shoot or cut！
At fur…rest； I had lashed two mushkits together wid the baynits out so； like
a hay fork； and getting the haymaker's lift on thim； I just lifted two
Paythians outone an aych baynit and passed 'em； aisy…like； over me
head to the rear rank for them to finish。 But what wid the blud gettin'
into me ois； I was blinded； and the pressure kept incraysin' until me arrums
was thrussed like a fowl to me sides； and sorra a bit cud I move but me
jaws！〃
〃And bloomin' well you knew how to use them；〃 said Otherwise。
〃Thrue for youthough ye don't mane it！〃 said Mulledwiney； playfully
tapping Otherwise on the head with a decanter till the cut glass slowly
shivered。 〃So； begorra！ there wor nothing left for me to do but to ATE
thim！ Wirra！ but it was the crooel worruk。〃
〃Excuse me； my lord；〃 interrupted the gasping voice of Pi Bol as he
began to back from the pool； 〃I am but a horse； I know； and being built in
that waynaturally have the stomach of oneyet； really； my lord； thiser〃…
… And his voice was gone。
The next moment he had disappeared。 Mulledwiney looked around
with affected concern。
〃Save us！ But we've cleaned out the Jungle！ Sure； there's not a
baste left but ourselves！〃
It was true。 The watering…place was empty。 Moo Kow； Miaow； and
the Gee Gees had disappeared。 Presently there was a booming crash and
a long； deep rumbling among the distant hills。 Then they knew they were
near the old Moulmein Pagoda； and the dawn had come up like thunder
out of China 'cross the bay。 It always came up that way there。 The
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strain was too great； and day was actually breaking。
〃ZUT…SKI〃
THE PROBLEM OF A WICKED FEME SOLE
BY MRE CRLLI
I
The great pyramid towered up from the desert with its apex toward
the moon which hung in the sky。 For centuries it had stood thus；
disdaining the aid of gods or man； being； as the Sphinx herself observed；
able to stand up for itself。 And this was no small praise from that
sublime yet mysterious female who had seen the ages come and go；
empires rise and fall； novelist succeed novelist； and who； for eons and
cycles the cynosure and centre of admiration and men's idolatrous worship；
had yetwonderful for a woman through it all kept her head； which now
alone remained to survey calmly the present。 Indeed； at that moment that
magnificent and peaceful face seemed to have lostwith a few
unimportant features its usual expression of speculative wisdom and
intense disdain； its mouth smiled； its left eyelid seemed to droop。 As the
opal tints of dawn deepened upon it； the eyelid seemed to droop lower；
closed； and quickly recovered itself twice。 You would have thought the
Sphinx had winked。
Then arose a voice like a wind on the desert；but really from the
direction of the Nile； where a hired dahabiyeh lay moored to the bank；
〃'Arry Axes！ 'Arry Axes！〃 With it came also a flapping； trailing vision
from the waterthe sacred Ibis itselfand with wings aslant drifted
mournfully away to its own creaking echo： 〃K'raksis！ K'raksis！〃 Again
arose the weird voice： 〃'Arry Axes！ Wotcher doin' of？〃 And again the
Ibis croaked its wild refrain： 〃K'raksis！ K'raksis！〃 Moonlight and the
hour wove their own mystery （for which the author is not responsible）；
and the voice was heard no more。 But when the full day sprang in glory
over the desert； it illuminated the few remaining but sufficiently large
features of the Sphinx with a burning saffron radiance！ The Sphinx had
indeed blushed！
II
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It was the full season at Cairo。 The wealth and fashion of
Bayswater； South Kensington； and even the bosky Wood of the Evangelist
had sent their latest luxury and style to flout the tombs of the past with the
ghastly flippancy of to…day。 The cheap tripper was therethe latest
example of the Darwinian theory apelike； flea and curio hunting！
Shamelessly inquisitive and always hungry； what did he know of the
Sphinx or the pyramids or the voiceand； for the matter of that； what did
they know of him？ And yet he was not half bad in comparison with the
〃swagger people；〃these people who pretend to have lungs and what not；
and instead of galloping on merry hunters through the frost and snow of
Piccadilly and Park； instead of enjoying the roaring fires of piled logs in
the evening； at the first approach of winter steal away to the Land of the
Sun； and decline to die； like honest Britons； on British soil。 And then
they know nothing of the Egyptians and are horrified at 〃bakshish；〃 which
they really ought to pay for the privilege of shocking the straight…limbed；
naked…footed Arab in his single rough garment with their baggy elephant…
legged trousers！ And they know nothing of the mystic land of the old gods；
filled with profound enigmas of the supernatural； dark secrets yet
unexplored except in this book。 Well might the great Memnon murmur
after this lapse of these thousand years； 〃They're making me tired！〃
Such was the blissful； self…satisfied ignorance of Sir Midas Pyle； or as
Lord Fitz…Fulke； with his delightful imitation of the East London accent；
called him； Sir 〃Myde His Pyle；〃 as he leaned back on his divan in the
Grand Cairo Hotel。 He was the vulgar editor and proprietor of a vulgar
London newspaper； and had brought his wife with him； who was vainly
trying to marry off his faded daughters。 There was to be a fancy…dress
ball at the hotel that night； and Lady Pyle hoped that her girls； if properly
disguised； might have a better chance。 Here； too； was Lady Fitz…Fulke；
whose mother was immortalized by Byronsixty if a day； yet still dressing
youthfullywho had sought the land of the Sphinx in the faint hope that in
the contiguity of that lady she might pass for being young。 Alaster
