new burlesques(зí´ÌÊ«)-µÚ19ÕÂ
°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡ª¡ª¡ª¡ªÎ´ÔĶÁÍꣿ¼ÓÈëÊéÇ©ÒѱãÏ´μÌÐøÔĶÁ£¡
Smith£»¡¡¡¡¡¡grinnin'£»¡¡¡¡¡¡'I¡¡¡¡¡¡didn't¡¡¡¡¡¡known¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡subject¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡divine¡¡¡¡¡¡afflatus£»¡¡
Dan'l¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'I¡¡don'¡¡offen¡¡hev¡¡it£»'¡¡sez¡¡I£»¡¡'but¡¡when¡¡I¡¡do¡¡I¡¡find¡¡a¡¡little¡¡straight¡¡gin¡¡
does¡¡¡¡¡¡me¡¡¡¡¡¡good¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'So¡¡¡¡¡¡did¡¡¡¡¡¡Byron£»'¡¡¡¡¡¡sez¡¡¡¡¡¡he£»¡¡¡¡¡¡chucklin'¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡But¡¡¡¡¡¡even¡¡¡¡¡¡if¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡had¡¡
called¡¡him¡¡'Beelzebub'¡¡the¡¡hull¡¡town¡¡would¡¡hev¡¡bin¡¡jest¡¡as¡¡crazy¡¡over¡¡him¡£¡¡
Well£»¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡¡¡it¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡comin'¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡rain¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡started¡¡¡¡¡¡jest¡¡¡¡¡¡after¡¡¡¡¡¡sundown¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡home¡£¡¡
But¡¡it¡¡came¡¡ter¡¡blow£»¡¡an'¡¡ter¡¡pour¡¡cats¡¡and¡¡dogs£»¡¡an'¡¡I¡¡was¡¡nigh¡¡washed¡¡out¡¡
o'¡¡the¡¡buggy£»¡¡besides¡¡losin'¡¡my¡¡way¡¡and¡¡gettin'¡¡inter¡¡ditches¡¡and¡¡puddles£»¡¡
and¡¡I¡¡hed¡¡to¡¡stop¡¡at¡¡Staples'¡¡Half¡Way¡¡House¡¡and¡¡put¡¡up¡¡for¡¡the¡¡night¡£¡¡In¡¡
the¡¡mornin'¡¡I¡¡riz¡¡up¡¡early¡¡and¡¡goes¡¡into¡¡the¡¡stable¡¡yard£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡first¡¡thing¡¡I¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡56¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡57¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡NEW¡¡BURLESQUES¡¡
sees¡¡was¡¡the¡¡'ostler¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'I¡¡hope¡¡ye¡¡giv'¡¡my¡¡hoss¡¡a¡¡good¡¡scrub¡¡down£»'¡¡I¡¡sez£»¡¡'as¡¡
I¡¡told¡¡ye£»¡¡for¡¡his¡¡color¡¡is¡¡that¡¡delicate¡¡the¡¡smallest¡¡spot¡¡shows¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡It's¡¡a¡¡very¡¡
rare¡¡color¡¡for¡¡a¡¡hoss¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'I¡¡was¡¡hopin'¡¡it¡¡might¡¡be£»'¡¡sez¡¡he¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡was¡¡a¡¡little¡¡
huffed¡¡at¡¡that£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡sez£º¡¡'It's¡¡considered¡¡a¡¡very¡¡beautiful¡¡color¡£'¡¡'Mebbe¡¡it¡¡
is£»'¡¡sez¡¡he£»¡¡'but¡¡I¡¡never¡¡cared¡¡much¡¡for¡¡fireworks¡£'¡¡'What¡¡yer¡¡mean£¿'¡¡sez¡¡I¡£¡¡
'Look¡¡here£»¡¡Squire£¡'¡¡sez¡¡he£»¡¡'I¡¡don't¡¡mind¡¡scourin'¡¡and¡¡rubbin'¡¡down¡¡a¡¡hoss¡¡
that¡¡¡¡¡¡will¡¡¡¡¡¡stay¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡same¡¡¡¡¡¡color¡¡¡¡¡¡TWICE£»¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡but¡¡¡¡when¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡gets¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡playin'¡¡¡¡a¡¡
kaladeoskope¡¡on¡¡me£»¡¡I¡¡kick£¡'¡¡'Trot¡¡him¡¡out£»'¡¡sez¡¡I£»¡¡beginnin'¡¡to¡¡feel¡¡queer¡£¡¡
With¡¡that¡¡he¡¡fetched¡¡out¡¡the¡¡hoss£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡For¡¡a¡¡minit¡¡I¡¡hed¡¡to¡¡ketch¡¡on¡¡to¡¡the¡¡
fence¡¡to¡¡keep¡¡myself¡¡from¡¡fallin'¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡swonny£¡¡¡ef¡¡he¡¡didn't¡¡look¡¡like¡¡a¡¡case¡¡
of¡¡measles¡¡on¡¡top¡¡o'¡¡yaller¡¡fever'cept¡¡where¡¡the¡¡harness¡¡had¡¡touched¡¡him£»¡¡
and¡¡that¡¡was¡¡kinder¡¡stenciled¡¡out¡¡all¡¡over¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Thar¡¡was¡¡places¡¡whar¡¡the¡¡
'ostler¡¡had¡¡washed¡¡down¡¡to¡¡the¡¡foundation¡¡color£»¡¡a¡¡kind¡¡o'¡¡chewed¡¡licorice£¡¡¡
Then¡¡I¡¡knew¡¡that¡¡somebody¡¡had¡¡bin¡¡sold¡¡terrible£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡reckoned¡¡it¡¡might¡¡
be¡¡¡¡¡¡me£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡But¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡said¡¡¡¡¡¡nothin'¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡'ostler£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡waited¡¡¡¡¡¡until¡¡¡¡¡¡dark£»¡¡¡¡¡¡when¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡
drove¡¡him¡¡over¡¡here£»¡¡and¡¡put¡¡him¡¡in¡¡the¡¡stables£»¡¡lettin'¡¡no¡¡one¡¡see¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡
the¡¡mornin'¡¡Lummox¡¡comes¡¡to¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡sez¡¡he£º¡¡'I'm¡¡glad¡¡to¡¡see¡¡you¡¡back£»'¡¡
sez¡¡¡¡¡¡he£»¡¡¡¡¡¡'for¡¡¡¡¡¡my¡¡¡¡¡¡conscience¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡¡¡¡¡troublin'¡¡¡¡¡¡me¡¡¡¡¡¡about¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡hoss¡¡¡¡¡¡agreement£»¡¡¡¡¡¡it¡¡
looks¡¡too¡¡much¡¡like¡¡a¡¡hoss¡¡trade£»'¡¡sez¡¡he£»¡¡'and¡¡I'm¡¡goin'¡¡to¡¡send¡¡the¡¡hoss¡¡
back¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'Mebbe¡¡your¡¡conscience£»'¡¡sez¡¡I£»¡¡'may¡¡trouble¡¡you¡¡a¡¡little¡¡more¡¡ef¡¡
you'll¡¡step¡¡this¡¡way£»'¡¡and¡¡with¡¡that¡¡I¡¡takes¡¡his¡¡arm¡¡and¡¡leads¡¡him¡¡round¡¡to¡¡
the¡¡stable¡¡and¡¡brings¡¡out¡¡the¡¡hoss¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Well£»¡¡¡¡Lummox¡¡¡¡¡¡never¡¡¡¡¡¡changes¡¡¡¡¡¡ez¡¡¡¡¡¡much¡¡¡¡¡¡as¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡hair£»¡¡¡¡¡¡ez¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡puts¡¡¡¡¡¡up¡¡¡¡¡¡his¡¡
eyeglasses¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'I'm¡¡not¡¡good¡¡at¡¡what's¡¡called¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Pop'lar¡¡Art£»¡¨'¡¡sez¡¡he¡£¡¡'Is¡¡it¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡
chromo£»¡¡or¡¡your¡¡own¡¡work£¿'¡¡sez¡¡he£»¡¡critical¡¡like¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨'It's¡¡YOUR¡¡HOSS£»'¡¡sez¡¡I¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨He¡¡looks¡¡at¡¡me¡¡a¡¡minit¡¡and¡¡then¡¡drors¡¡a¡¡paper¡¡from¡¡his¡¡pocket¡£¡¡'This¡¡
paper£»'¡¡sez¡¡he¡¡in¡¡his¡¡quiet¡¡way£»¡¡'was¡¡drored¡¡up¡¡by¡¡you¡¡and¡¡is¡¡a¡¡covenant¡¡to¡¡
return¡¡to¡¡me¡¡a¡¡yaller¡¡hoss¡¡with¡¡golden¡¡mane¡¡and¡¡tail¡¡or¡¡a¡¡hundred¡¡and¡¡
fifty¡¡¡¡dollars¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Ez¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡don't¡¡¡¡¡¡see¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡hoss¡¡¡¡¡¡anywhere¡¡¡¡¡¡mebbe¡¡¡¡¡¡you've¡¡¡¡¡¡got¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
hundred¡¡and¡¡fifty¡¡dollars¡¡handy£¿'¡¡sez¡¡he¡£¡¡'Suppose¡¡I¡¡hadn't¡¡the¡¡money£¿'¡¡sez¡¡
I¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡'I¡¡should¡¡be¡¡obliged£»'¡¡sez¡¡he¡¡in¡¡a¡¡kind¡¡o'¡¡pained¡¡Christian¡martyr¡¡way£»¡¡
'ter¡¡¡¡sell¡¡YOUR¡¡¡¡hoss¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡two¡¡hundred£»¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡send¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡money¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡my¡¡¡¡¡¡fr'en'¡£'¡¡
We¡¡looked¡¡¡¡¡¡at¡¡each¡¡other¡¡steddy¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡minit¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡then¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡counts¡¡him¡¡¡¡out¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡57¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡58¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡NEW¡¡BURLESQUES¡¡
hundred¡¡and¡¡fifty¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡took¡¡the¡¡money¡¡sad¡like¡¡and¡¡then¡¡sez£º¡¡'Mr¡£¡¡Borem£»'¡¡
sez¡¡he£»¡¡'this¡¡is¡¡a¡¡great¡¡morril¡¡lesson¡¡to¡¡us£»'¡¡and¡¡went¡¡back¡¡to¡¡the¡¡office¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡In¡¡
the¡¡¡¡¡¡arternoon¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡called¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡an¡¡¡¡¡¡old¡¡¡¡¡¡hoss¡¡¡¡¡¡dealer¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡knew¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡shows¡¡¡¡¡¡him¡¡
Pegasus¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨'He¡¡wants¡¡renewin'£»'¡¡sez¡¡he¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨'Wot's¡¡that£¿'¡¡sez¡¡I¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨'A¡¡¡¡few¡¡¡¡¡¡more¡¡¡¡¡¡bottles¡¡¡¡¡¡o'¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡¡¡British¡¡¡¡¡¡Blonde¡¡¡¡¡¡Hair¡¡¡¡¡¡Dye¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡set¡¡¡¡¡¡him¡¡¡¡¡¡up¡¡
ag'in¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡That's¡¡wot¡¡they¡¡allus¡¡do¡¡in¡¡the¡¡cirkis£»¡¡whar¡¡he¡¡kem¡¡from¡£'¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Then¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡went¡¡¡¡¡¡back¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡office¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡took¡¡¡¡¡¡down¡¡¡¡¡¡my¡¡¡¡¡¡sign¡£¡¡'What's¡¡
that¡¡¡¡¡¡you¡¡¡¡¡¡re¡¡¡¡¡¡doin'£¿'¡¡¡¡¡¡sez¡¡¡¡¡¡Lummox£»¡¡¡¡¡¡with¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡sickly¡¡¡¡¡¡kind¡¡¡¡¡¡o'¡¡¡¡¡¡smile¡£¡¡'Are¡¡¡¡¡¡you¡¡
goin'¡¡out¡¡o'¡¡the¡¡bizness£¿'¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨'No£»¡¡I'm¡¡only¡¡goin'¡¡to¡¡change¡¡that¡¡sign¡¡from¡¡¡¨Dan'l¡¡Borem¡¨¡¡to¡¡¡¨Borem¡¡
and¡¡Lummox£»¡¨'¡¡sez¡¡I¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'I've¡¡concluded¡¡it's¡¡cheaper¡¡for¡¡me¡¡to¡¡take¡¡you¡¡inter¡¡
partnership¡¡¡¡¡¡now¡¡¡¡¡¡than¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡continue¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡¡¡¡¡this¡¡¡¡¡¡way£»¡¡¡¡¡¡which¡¡¡¡¡¡would¡¡¡¡¡¡only¡¡¡¡¡¡end¡¡¡¡¡¡in¡¡
your¡¡hevin'¡¡to¡¡take¡¡me¡¡in¡¡later¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡preferred¡¡to¡¡DO¡¡IT¡¡FUST¡£'¡¨¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡VII¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡A¡¡rich¡¡man£»¡¡and¡¡settled¡¡in¡¡business£»¡¡John¡¡Lummox¡¡concluded¡¡that¡¡he¡¡
would¡¡marry¡¡Mary¡¡Bike¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡With¡¡that¡¡far¡sighted¡¡logic¡¡which¡¡had¡¡always¡¡
characterized¡¡¡¡¡¡him¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡reasoned¡¡¡¡¡¡that£»¡¡¡¡¡¡having¡¡¡¡¡¡first¡¡¡¡¡¡met¡¡¡¡¡¡her¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡¡¡¡¡a¡¡¡¡¡¡liner£»¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡
would¡¡find¡¡her¡¡again¡¡on¡¡one¡¡if¡¡he¡¡took¡¡passage¡¡to¡¡Europe¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡didbut¡¡
she¡¡was¡¡down¡¡on¡¡the¡¡passenger¡¡list¡¡as¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Edwin¡¡Wraggles¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡The¡¡result¡¡
of¡¡their¡¡interview¡¡was¡¡given¡¡to¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Bigsby¡¡by¡¡Dan'l¡¡Borem¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own¡¡
dialect¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Ez¡¡far¡¡as¡¡I¡¡kin¡¡see£»¡¡it¡¡was¡¡like¡¡the¡¡Deacon's¡¡Sunday¡¡hoss¡¡trade£»¡¡bein'¡¡
all¡¡'Ef¡¡it¡¡wassent¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'Ef¡¡ye¡¡wasn't¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Wraggles£»'¡¡sez¡¡Lummox£»¡¡sez¡¡he£»¡¡'I'd¡¡
be¡¡tellin'¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡¡¡¡¡¡how¡¡I've¡¡¡¡¡¡loved¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡¡¡¡¡¡ever¡¡sence¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡first¡¡seed¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡Ef¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡¡¡¡¡¡wasn't¡¡
Mrs¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡Wraggles£»¡¡¡¡¡¡I'd¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡be¡¡¡¡¡¡squeezin'¡¡¡¡¡¡yer¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡hand£»'¡¡¡¡¡¡sez¡¡¡¡¡¡he£»¡¡¡¡'ef¡¡¡¡¡¡ye¡¡¡¡¡¡wasn't¡¡¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡
Wraggles£»¡¡I'd¡¡be¡¡askin'¡¡ye¡¡to¡¡marry¡¡me¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Then¡¡the¡¡gal¡¡ups¡¡and¡¡sez£»¡¡sez¡¡
she£º¡¡'But¡¡I¡¡AIN'T¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Wraggles£»'¡¡sez¡¡she£»¡¡'Mrs¡£¡¡Wraggles¡¡is¡¡my¡¡sister£»¡¡and¡¡
couldn't¡¡come£»¡¡¡¡so¡¡¡¡¡¡I'm¡¡travelin'¡¡¡¡¡¡on¡¡¡¡¡¡her¡¡ticket£»¡¡¡¡and¡¡that's¡¡how¡¡¡¡my¡¡¡¡name¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡
Wraggles¡¡on¡¡the¡¡passenger¡¡list¡£'¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'But¡¡why¡¡didn't¡¡ye¡¡tell¡¡me¡¡so¡¡at¡¡once£¿'¡¡
sez¡¡Lummox¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡'This¡¡is¡¡an¡¡episoode¡¡o'¡¡protracted¡¡humor£»'¡¡sez¡¡she£»¡¡'and¡¡I'M¡¡
bound¡¡to¡¡have¡¡a¡¡show¡¡in¡¡it¡¡somehow£¡'¡¨¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Well£¡¡¨¡¡said¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Bigsby¡¡breathlessly£»¡¡¡¨then¡¡he¡¡DID¡¡marry¡¡her£¿¡¨¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡58¡¡
¡¡¡Page¡¡59¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡NEW¡¡BURLESQUES¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¨Darned¡¡¡¡¡¡ef¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡¡¡¡¡know¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡¡¡¡¡never¡¡¡¡¡¡said¡¡¡¡¡¡so¡¡¡¡¡¡straight¡¡¡¡¡¡outbut¡¡¡¡¡¡that's¡¡¡¡¡¡like¡¡
Lummox¡£¡¨¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡STORIES¡¡THREE¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡BY¡¡RDYD¡¡KPLG¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡I¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡FOR¡¡SIMLA¡¡REASONS¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Some¡¡people¡¡say¡¡that¡¡improbable¡¡things¡¡don't¡¡necessarily¡¡happen¡¡in¡¡
Indiabut¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡these¡¡¡¡¡¡people¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡never¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡find¡¡¡¡¡¡improbabilities¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡anywhere¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡This¡¡
sounds¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡clever£»¡¡¡¡¡¡but¡¡¡¡¡¡you¡¡¡¡¡¡will¡¡¡¡at¡¡¡¡once¡¡¡¡¡¡perceive¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡that¡¡¡¡it¡¡¡¡really¡¡¡¡¡¡means¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡
opposite¡¡of¡¡what¡¡I¡¡intended¡¡to¡¡say¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡So¡¡we'll¡¡drop¡¡it¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡What¡¡I¡¡am¡¡trying¡¡to¡¡
tell¡¡you¡¡is¡¡that¡¡after¡¡Sparkley¡¡had¡¡that¡¡affair¡¡with¡¡Miss¡¡Millikens¡¡a¡¡singular¡¡
change¡¡¡¡¡¡came¡¡¡¡¡¡over¡¡¡¡¡¡him¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡He¡¡¡¡¡¡grew¡¡¡¡¡¡abstracted¡¡¡¡¡¡and¡¡¡¡¡¡solitary£»holding¡¡¡¡¡¡dark¡¡
seances¡¡with¡¡himself£»which¡¡was¡¡odd£»¡¡as¡¡everybody¡¡knew¡¡he¡¡never¡¡cared¡¡
a¡¡rap¡¡for¡¡the¡¡Millikens¡¡girl¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡even¡¡said¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡off¡¡his¡¡head¡¡
which¡¡¡¡¡¡is¡¡¡¡¡¡rhyme¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡But¡¡¡¡¡¡his¡¡¡¡¡¡reason¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡undoubtedly¡¡¡¡¡¡affected£»¡¡¡¡¡¡for¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡had¡¡
been¡¡¡¡¡¡heard¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡mutter¡¡¡¡¡¡incoherently¡¡¡¡¡¡at¡¡¡¡¡¡the¡¡¡¡¡¡Club£»¡¡¡¡¡¡and£»¡¡¡¡¡¡strangest¡¡¡¡¡¡of¡¡¡¡¡¡all£»¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡
answer¡¡questions¡¡THAT¡¡WERE¡¡NEVER¡¡ASKED£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡This¡¡was¡¡so¡¡awkward¡¡
in¡¡that¡¡Branch¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Civil¡¡Department¡¡of¡¡which¡¡he¡¡was¡¡a¡¡high¡¡official¡¡
where¡¡the¡¡rule¡¡was¡¡exactly¡¡the¡¡reversethat¡¡he¡¡was¡¡presently¡¡invalided¡¡on¡¡
full¡¡pay£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡disappeared¡£¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Clever¡¡people¡¡said¡¡it¡¡was¡¡because¡¡the¡¡
Department¡¡¡¡¡¡was¡¡¡¡¡¡afraid¡¡¡¡¡¡he¡¡¡¡¡¡had¡¡¡¡¡¡still¡¡¡¡¡¡much¡¡¡¡¡¡to¡¡¡¡¡¡answer¡¡¡¡¡¡for£»¡¡¡¡¡¡stupid¡¡¡¡¡¡people¡¡
simply¡¡envied¡¡him¡£¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡Mrs¡£¡¡Awksby£»¡¡whom¡¡everybody¡¡knew¡¡had¡¡been¡¡the¡¡cause¡¡of¡¡breaking¡¡
off¡¡the¡¡match£»¡¡was¡¡now¡¡wild¡¡to¡¡know¡¡the¡¡reason¡¡of¡¡Sparkley's¡¡retirement¡£¡¡
She¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡attacked¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡heav