the conflict-第42章

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hey　are　now。''　　She　laugheda　free　and　merry　laugh；　but　not　pleasant　in　Jane's　ears。　　‘‘The　idea　of　US　trying　to　induce　young　ladies　and　young　gentlemen　with　polished　finger　nails　to　sit　round　in　drawing…rooms　talking　patronizingly　of　doing　something　for　the　masses！　　You've　got　a　very　queer　notion　of　us；　my　dear　Miss　Hastings。''

Jane's　eyes　were　flashing。　　‘‘Selma；　there's　a　devil　in　you　to…day。　　What　is　it？''　she　demanded。

‘‘There's　a　great　deal　of　dust　from　your　automobile　in　me　and　on　me；''　said　Selma。　　‘‘I　congratulate　you　on　your　good　manners　in　rushing　about　spattering　and　befouling　your　fellow　beings　and　threatening　their　lives。''

Jane　colored　and　lowered　her　head。　　‘‘II　never　thought　of　that　before；''　she　said　humbly。

Selma's　anger　suddenly　dissolved。　　‘‘I'm　ashamed　of　myself；''　she　cried。　　‘‘Forgive　me。''

What　she　had　said　about　the　automobile　had　made　an　instant　deep　impression　upon　Jane；　who　was　honestly　trying　to　live　up　to　her　aspirationswhen　she　wasn't　giving　up　the　effort　as　hopelessly　beyond　her　powers　and　trying　to　content　herself　with　just　aspiring。　　She　was　not　hypocritical　in　her　contrition。　　The　dust　disfiguring　the　foliage；　streaking　Selma's　face　and　hair；　was　forcing　the　lesson　in　manners　vigorously　home。　　‘‘I'm　much　obliged　to　you　for　teaching　me　what　I　ought　to　have　learned　for　myself；''　she　said。　　‘‘I　don't　blame　you　for　scorning　me。　　I　am　a　pretty　poor　excuse。　　But''with　her　most　charming　smile　‘‘I'll　do　betterall　the　faster　if　you'll　help　me。''

Selma　looked　at　her　with　a　frank；　dismayed　contrition；　like　a　child　that　realizes　it　has　done　something　very　foolish。　　‘‘Oh；　I'm　so　horribly　impulsive！''　she　cried。　　‘‘It's　always　getting　me　into　trouble。　　You　don't　know　how　I　try　Victor　Dorn's　patiencethough　he　never　makes　the　least　sign。''　　She　laughed　up　at　Jane。　　‘‘I　wish　you'd　give　me　a　whipping。　　I'd　feel　lots　better。''

‘‘It'd　take　some　of　my　dust　off　you；''　said　Jane。　　‘‘Let　me　take　you　to　the　house　in　the　autoyou'll　never　see　it　going　at　that　speed　again；　I　promise。　　Come　to　the　house　and　I'll　dust　you　offand　we'll　go　for　a　walk　in　the　woods。''

Selma　felt　that　she　owed　it　to　Jane　to　accept。　　As　they　were　climbing　the　hill　in　the　auto；　Selma　said：

‘‘My；　how　comfortable　this　is！　　No　wonder　the　people　that　have　autos　stop　exercising　and　get　fat　and　sick　and　die。　　I　couldn't　trust　myself　with　one。''

‘‘It's　a　daily　fight；''　confessed　Jane。　　‘‘If　I　were　married　and　didn't　have　to　think　about　my　looks　and　my　figure　I'm　afraid　I'd　give　up。''

‘‘Victor　says　the　only　time　one　ought　ever　to　ride　in　a　carriage　is　to　his　own　funeral。''

‘‘He's　down　on　show　and　luxury　of　every　kind　isn't　he？''　said　Jane。

‘‘No；　indeed；''　replied　Selma。　　‘‘Victor　isn't　‘down　on'　anything。　　He　thinks　show　and　luxury　are　silly。　　He　could　be　rich　if　he　wished；　for　he　has　wonderful　talent　for　managing　things　and　for　making　money。　　He　has　refused　some　of　the　most　wonderful　offerswonderful　in　that　way。　　But　he　thinks　money…making　a　waste　of　time。　　He　has　all　he　wants；　and　he　says　he'd　as　soon　think　of　eating　a　second　dinner　when　he'd　just　had　one　as　of　exchanging　time　that　could　be　LIVED　for　a　lot　of　foolish　dollars。''

‘‘And　he　meant　it；　too；''　said　Jane。　　‘‘In　some　men　that　would　sound　like　pretense。　　But　not　in　him。　　What　a　mind　he　hasand　what　a　character！''

Selma　was　abruptly　overcast　and　ominously　silent。　　She　wished　she　had　not　been　turned　so　far　by　her　impulse　of　penitencewished　she　had　held　to　the　calm　and　deliberate　part　of　her　resolve　about　Janethe　part　that　involved　keeping　aloof　from　her。　　However；　Jane；　the　tactfulhastened　to　shift　the　conversation　to　generalities　of　the　softest　kindstalked　about　her　college　lifeabout　the　inane　and　useless　education　they　had　given　herdrew　Selma　out　to　talk　about　her　own　　educationin　the　tenementin　the　public　school；　at　night　school；　in　factory　and　shop。　　Not　until　they　had　been　walking　in　the　woods　nearly　two　hours　and　Selma　was　about　to　go　home；　did　Victor；　about　whom　both　were　thinking　all　the　time；　come　into　the　conversation　again。　　It　was　Jane　who　could　no　longer　keep　away　from　the　subjectthe　one　subject　that　wholly　interested　her　nowadays。　　Said　she：

‘‘Victor　Dorn　is　REALLY　almost　well；　you　think？''

After　a　significant　pause　Selma　said　in　a　tone　that　was　certainly　not　encouraging；　‘‘Obviously。''

‘‘I　was　altogether　wrong　about　Doctor　Charlton；''　said　Jane。　　‘‘I'm　convinced　now　that　he's　the　only　really　intelligent　doctor　in　town。　　I'm　trying　to　persuade　father　to　change　to　him。''

‘‘Well；　good…by；''　said　Selma。　　She　was　eager　to　get　away；　for　she　suddenly　felt　that　Jane　was　determined　to　talk　about　Victor　before　letting　her　go。

‘‘You　altered　toward　me　when　I　made　that　confessionthe　night　of　the　riot；''　said　Jane　abruptly。　　‘‘Are　you　in　love　with　him；　too？''

‘‘No；''　said　Selma。

‘‘I　don't　see　how　you　could　help　being；''　cried　Jane。

‘‘That's　because　you　don't　know　what　it　is　to　be　busy；''　retorted　Selma。　　‘‘Lovewhat　you　call　love　is　one　of　the　pastimes　with　your　sort　of　people。　　It's　a　lazy；　easy　way　of　occupying　the　thoughts。''

‘‘You　don't　know　me　as　well　as　you　think　you　do；''　said　Jane。　　Her　expression　fascinated　Selmaand　made　her　more　afraid　than　ever。

Impulsively　Selma　took　Jane　by　the　arm。　　‘‘Keep　away　from　us；''　she　said。　　‘‘You　will　do　no　good。　　You　can　only　cause　unhappinessperhaps　most　of　all　to　yourself。''

‘‘Don't　I　know　that！''　exclaimed　Jane。　　‘‘I'm　fighting　it　as　hard　as　I　can。　　But　how　little　control　one　has　over　oneself　when　one　has　always　been　indulged　and　self…indulgent。''

‘‘The　man　for　you　is　David　Hull；''　said　Selma。

‘‘You　could　help　himcould　make　a　great　deal　of　a　person　out　of　him。''

‘‘I　know　it；''　replied　Jane。　　‘‘But　I　don't　want　him；　and　heperhaps　you　didn't　know　that　he　is　in　love　with　you？''

‘‘No　more　than　you　are　with　Victor　Dorn；''　said　Selma。　　‘‘I'm　different　from　the　women　he　has　known；　just　as　Victor　is　different　from　the　men　you　meet　in　your　class。　　But　this　is　a　waste　of　time。''

‘‘You　don't　believe　in　me　at　all；''　cried　Jane。　　‘‘In　some　ways　you　are　very　unjust　and　narrow；　Selma。''

Selma　looked　at　her　in　that　grave　way　which　seemed　to　compel　frankness。　　‘‘Do　YOU　believe　in　yourself？''　she　asked。

Jane's　glance　shifted。

‘‘You　know　you　do　not；''　proceeded　Selma。　　‘‘The　women　of　your　class　rarely　have　sincere　emotions　because　they　do　not　lead　sincere　lives。　　Part　of　your　imaginary　love　for　Victor　Dorn　is　desire　to　fill　up　idle　hours。　　The　rest　of　it　is　vanitythe　desire　to　show　your　power　over　a　man　who　seems　to　be　woman…proof。''　　She　laughed　a　little；　turned　away；　paused。　　‘‘My　mother　used　to　quote　a　French　proverb‘One　cannot　trifle　with　love。'　　Be　careful；　Janefor　your　own　sake。　　I　don't　know　whether　you　could　conquer　Victor　Dorn　or　not。　　But　I　do　know　IF　you　could　conquer　him　it　would　be　only　at　the　usual　price　of　those　conquests　to　a　woman。''

‘‘And　what　is　that？''　said　Jane。

‘‘Your　own　complete　surrender；''　said　Selma。

‘‘How　wise　you　are！''　laughed　Jane。　　‘‘Who　would　have　suspected　you　of　knowing　so　much！''

‘‘How　could　Ia　womanand　not　unattractive　to　mengrow　up　to　be　twenty…one　years　old；　in　the　free　life　of　a　working　woman；　without　learning　all　there　is　to　know　about　sex　relations？''

Jane　looked　at　her　with　a　new　interest。

‘‘And；''　she　went　on；　‘‘I've　learnednot　by　experience；　I'm　glad　to　say；　but　by　observationthat　my　mother's　proverb　is　true。　　I　shall　not　think　about　love　until　I　am　compelled　to。　　That　is　a　peril　a　sensible　person　does　not　seek。''

‘‘I　did　not　seek　it；''　cried　Janeand　then　she　halted　and　flushed。

‘‘Good…by；　Jane；''　said　Selma；　waving　her　hand　and　moving　away　rapidly。　　She　called　back‘‘On　ne　badine　pas　avec　l'amour！''

She　went　straight　to　Colman's　cottageto　Victor；　lying　very　pale　with　his　eyes　shut；　and　big　Tom　Colman　sitting　by　his　bed。　　There　was　a　stillness　in　the　room　that　Selma　felt　was　ominous。　　Victor's　handstrong；　well…shaped；　useful…looking；　used…lookingnot　ABUSED…　looking；　but　USED…looking…was　outside　the　covers　upon　the　white　counterpane。　　The　fingers　were　drumming　softly；　Selma　knew　that　gesturea　certain　sign　that　Victor　was　troubled　in　mind。

‘‘You've　told　him；''　said　Selma　to　Colman　as　she　paused　in　the　doorway。