adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第33章
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understand there’s been voices raised against it in the Society of
late； but I cannot but think their counsel will come to nought。 It
isn’t for men to make channels for God’s Spirit； as they make
channels for the watercourses； and say； ‘Flow here； but flow not
there。’”
“But don’t you find some danger among your people—I don’t
mean to say that it is so with you； far from it—but don’t you find
sometimes that both men and women fancy themselves channels
for God’s Spirit； and are quite mistaken； so that they set about a
work for which they are unfit and bring holy things into
contempt？”
“Doubtless it is so sometimes； for there have been evil…doers
among us who have sought to deceive the brethren； and some
there are who deceive their own selves。 But we are not without
discipline and correction to put a check upon these things。 There’s
a very strict order kept among us； and the brethren and sisters
watch for each other’s souls as they that must give account。 They
don’t go every one his own way and say； ‘Am I my brother’s
keeper？’”
“But tell me—if I may ask； and I am really interested in
knowing it—how you first came to think of preaching？”
“Indeed； sir； I didn’t think of it at all—I’d been used from the
time I was sixteen to talk to the little children； and teach them； and
sometimes I had had my heart enlarged to speak in class； and was
much drawn out in prayer with the sick。 But I had felt no call to
preach； for when I’m not greatly wrought upon； I’m too much
given to sit still and keep by myself。 It seems as if I could sit silent
all day long with the thought of God overflowing my soul—as the
pebbles lie bathed in the Willow Brook。 For thoughts are so
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great—aren’t they； sir？ They seem to lie upon us like a deep flood；
and it’s my besetment to forget where I am and everything about
me； and lose myself in thoughts that I could give no account of； for
I could neither make a beginning nor ending of them in words。
That was my way as long as I can remember； but sometimes it
seemed as if speech came to me without any will of my own； and
words were given to me that came out as the tears come； because
our hearts are full and we can’t help it。 And those were always
times of great blessing； though I had never thought it could be so
with me before a congregation of people。 But； sir； we are led on；
like the little children； by a way that we know not。 I was called to
preach quite suddenly； and since then I have never been left in
doubt about the work that was laid upon me。”
“But tell me the circumstances—just how it was； the very day
you began to preach。”
“It was one Sunday I walked with brother Marlowe； who was an
aged man； one of the local preachers； all the way to Hetton…
Deeps—that’s a village where the people get their living by
working in the lead…mines； and where there’s no church nor
preacher； but they live like sheep without a shepherd。 It’s better
than twelve miles from Snowfield； so we set out early in the
morning； for it was summertime； and I had a wonderful sense of
the Divine love as we walked over the hills； where there’s no trees；
you know； sir； as there is here； to make the sky look smaller； but
you see the heavens stretched out like a tent； and you feel the
everlasting arms around you。 But before we got to Hetton； brother
Marlowe was seized with a dizziness that made him afraid of
falling； for he overworked himself sadly； at his years； in watching
and praying； and walking so many miles to speak the Word； as
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well as carrying on his trade of linen…weaving。 And when we got to
the village； the people were expecting him； for he’d appointed the
time and the place when he was there before； and such of them as
cared to hear the Word of Life were assembled on a spot where
the cottages was thickest； so as others might be drawn to come。
But he felt as he couldn’t stand up to preach； and he was forced to
lie down in the first of the cottages we came to。 So I went to tell
the people； thinking we’d go into one of the houses； and I would
read and pray with them。 But as I passed along by the cottages
and saw the aged and trembling women at the doors； and the hard
looks of the men； who seemed to have their eyes no more filled
with the sight of the Sabbath morning than if they had been dumb
oxen that never looked up to the sky； I felt a great movement in
my soul； and I trembled as if I was shaken by a strong spirit
entering into my weak body。 And I went to where the little flock of
people was gathered together； and stepped on the low wall that
was built against the green hillside； and I spoke the words that
were given to me abundantly。 And they all came round me out of
all the cottages； and many wept over their sins； and have since
been joined to the Lord。 That was the beginning of my preaching；
sir； and I’ve preached ever since。”
Dinah had let her work fall during this narrative； which she
uttered in her usual simple way； but with that sincere articulate；
thrilling treble by which she always mastered her audience。 She
stooped now to gather up her sewing； and then went on with it as
before。 Mr。 Irwine was deeply interested。 He said to himself； “He
must be a miserable prig who would act the pedagogue here： one
might as well go and lecture the trees for growing in their own
shape。”
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“And you never feel any embarrassment from the sense of your
youth—that you are a lovely young woman on whom men’s eyes
are fixed？” he said aloud。
“No； I’ve no room for such feelings； and I don’t believe the
people ever take notice about that。 I think； sir； when God makes
His presence felt through us； we are like the burning bush： Moses
never took any heed what sort of bush it was—he only saw the
brightness of the Lord。 I’ve preached to as rough ignorant people
as can be in the villages about Snowfield—men that looked very
hard and wild—but they never said an uncivil word to me； and
often thanked me kindly as they made way for me to pass through
the midst of them。”
“That I can believe—that I can well believe；” said Mr。 Irwine；
emphatically。 “And what did you think of your hearers last night；
now？ Did you find them quiet and attentive？”
