adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第170章
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helped to save me from it。 And I did struggle。 I never meant to
injure her。 I deceived you afterwards—and that led on to worse；
but I thought it was forced upon me； I thought it was the best
thing I could do。 And in that letter I told her to let me know if she
were in any trouble： don’t think I would not have done everything
I could。 But I was all wrong from the very first； and horrible wrong
has come of it。 God knows； I’d give my life if I could undo it。”
They sat down again opposite each other； and Adam said；
tremulously； “How did she seem when you left her； sir？”
“Don’t ask me； Adam；” Arthur said； “I feel sometimes as if I
should go mad with thinking of her looks and what she said to me；
and then； that I couldn’t get a full pardon—that I couldn’t save her
from that wretched fate of being transported—that I can do
nothing for her all those years； and she may die under it； and
never know comfort any more。”
“Ah； sir；” said Adam； for the first time feeling his own pain
merged in sympathy for Arthur； “you and me’ll often be thinking
o’ the same thing； when we’re a long way off one another。 I’ll pray
God to help you； as I pray him to help me。”
“But there’s that sweet woman—that Dinah Morris；” Arthur
said； pursuing his own thoughts and not knowing what had been
the sense of Adam’s words； “she says she shall stay with her to the
very last moment—till she goes； and the poor thing clings to her as
if she found some comfort in her。 I could worship that woman； I
don’t know what I should do if she were not there。 Adam； you will
see her when she comes back。 I could say nothing to her
yesterday—nothing of what I felt towards her。 Tell her；” Arthur
went on hurriedly； as if he wanted to hide the emotion with which
he spoke； while he took off his chain and watch； “tell her I asked
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you to give her this in remembrance of me—of the man to whom
she is the one source of comfort； when he thinks of 。 。 。 I know she
doesn’t care about such things—or anything else I can give her for
its own sake。 But she will use the watch—I shall like to think of
her using it。”
“I’ll give it to her； sir；” Adam said； “and tell her your words。 She
told me she should come back to the people at the Hall Farm。”
“And you will persuade the Poysers to stay； Adam？” said
Arthur； reminded of the subject which both of them had forgotten
in the first interchange of revived friendship。 “You will stay
yourself； and help Mr。 Irwine to carry out the repairs and
improvements on the estate？”
“There’s one thing； sir； that perhaps you don’t take account of；”
said Adam； with hesitating gentleness； “and that was what made
me hang back longer。 You see； it’s the same with both me and the
Poysers： if we stay； it’s for our own worldly interest； and it looks as
if we’d put up with anything for the sake o’ that。 I know that’s
what they’ll feel； and I can’t help feeling a little of it myself。 When
folks have got an honourable independent spirit； they don’t like to
do anything that might make ’em seem base…minded。”
“But no one who knows you will think that； Adam。 That is not a
reason strong enough against a course that is really more
generous； more unselfish than the other。 And it will be known—it
shall be made known； that both you and the Poysers stayed at my
entreaty。 Adam； don’t try to make things worse for me； I’m
punished enough without that。”
“No； sir； no；” Adam said； looking at Arthur with mournful
affection。 “God forbid I should make things worse for you。 I used
to wish I could do it； in my passion—but that was when I thought
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you didn’t feel enough。 I’ll stay； sir； I’ll do the best I can。 It’s all I’ve
got to think of now—to do my work well and make the world a bit
better place for them as can enjoy it。”
“Then we’ll part now； Adam。 You will see Mr。 Irwine to…
morrow； and consult with him about everything。”
“Are you going soon； sir？” said Adam。
“As soon as possible—after I’ve made the necessary
arrangements。 Good…bye； Adam。 I shall think of you going about
the old place。”
“Good…bye； sir。 God bless you。”
The hands were clasped once more； and Adam left the
Hermitage； feeling that sorrow was more bearable now hatred was
gone。
As soon as the door was closed behind him； Arthur went to the
waste…paper basket and took out the little pink silk handkerchief。
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Book Sixth
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Chapter XLIX
At the Hall Farm
he first autumnal afternoon sunshine of 1801—more than
eighteen months after that parting of Adam and Arthur in
T
the Hermitage—was on the yard at the Hall Farm； and the
bull…dog was in one of his most excited moments； for it was that
hour of the day when the cows were being driven into the yard for
their afternoon milking。 No wonder the patient beasts ran
confusedly into the wrong places； for the alarming din of the bull…
dog was mingled with more distant sounds which the timid
feminine creatures； with pardonable superstition； imagined also to
have some relation to their own movements—with the tremendous
crack of the waggoner’s whip； the roar of his voice； and the
booming thunder of the waggon； as it left the rick…yard empty of
its golden load。
The milking of the cows was a sight Mrs。 Poyser loved； and at
this hour on mild days she was usually standing at the house door；
with her knitting in her hands； in quiet contemplation； only
heightened to a keener interest when the vicious yellow cow； who
had once kicked over a pailful of precious milk； was about to
undergo the preventive punishment of having her hinder…legs
strapped。
To…day； however； Mrs。 Poyser gave but a divided attention to
the arrival of the cows； for she was in eager discussion with Dinah；
who was stitching Mr。 Poyser’s shirt…collars； and had borne
patiently to have her thread broken three times by Totty pulling at
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