adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第111章
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himself a little higher； resting on Adam’s arm。
“Do you feel any hurt inside sir？” Adam asked again
“No—no hurt；” said Arthur； still faintly； “but rather done up。”
After a while he said； “I suppose I fainted away when you
knocked me down。”
“Yes； sir； thank God；” said Adam。 “I thought it was worse。”
“What！ You thought you’d done for me； eh？ Come help me on
my legs。”
“I feel terribly shaky and dizzy；” Arthur said； as he stood
leaning on Adam’s arm； “that blow of yours must have come
against me like a battering…ram。 I don’t believe I can walk alone。”
“Lean on me； sir； I’ll get you along；” said Adam。 “Or； will you sit
down a bit longer； on my coat here； and I’ll prop y’ up。 You’ll
perhaps be better in a minute or two。”
“No；” said Arthur。 “I’ll go to the Hermitage—I think I’ve got
some brandy there。 There’s a short road to it a little farther on；
near the gate。 If you’ll just help me on。”
They walked slowly； with frequent pauses； but without
speaking again。 In both of them； the concentration in the present
which had attended the first moments of Arthur’s revival had now
given way to a vivid recollection of the previous scene。 It was
nearly dark in the narrow path among the trees； but within the
circle of fir…trees round the Hermitage there was room for the
growing moonlight to enter in at the windows。 Their steps were
noiseless on the thick carpet of fir…needles； and the outward
stillness seemed to heighten their inward consciousness； as Arthur
took the key out of his pocket and placed it in Adam’s hand； for
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him to open the door。 Adam had not known before that Arthur
had furnished the old Hermitage and made it a retreat for himself；
and it was a surprise to him when he opened the door to see a
snug room with all the signs of frequent habitation。
Arthur loosed Adam’s arm and threw himself on the ottoman。
“You’ll see my hunting…bottle somewhere；” he said。 “A leather
case with a bottle and glass in。”
Adam was not long in finding the case。 “There’s very little
brandy in it； sir；” he said； turning it downwards over the glass； as
he held it before the window； “hardly this little glassful。”
“Well； give me that；” said Arthur； with the peevishness of
physical depression。 When he had taken some sips； Adam said；
“Hadn’t I better run to th’ house； sir； and get some more brandy？ I
can be there and back pretty soon。 It’ll be a stiff walk home for
you； if you don’t have something to revive you。”
“Yes—go。 But don’t say I’m ill。 Ask for my man Pym； and tell
him to get it from Mills； and not to say I’m at the Hermitage。 Get
some water too。”
Adam was relieved to have an active task—both of them were
relieved to be apart from each other for a short time。 But Adam’s
swift pace could not still the eager pain of thinking—of living again
with concentrated suffering through the last wretched hour； and
looking out from it over all the new sad future。
Arthur lay still for some minutes after Adam was gone； but
presently he rose feebly from the ottoman and peered about slowly
in the broken moonlight； seeking something。 It was a short bit of
wax candle that stood amongst a confusion of writing and drawing
materials。 There was more searching for the means of lighting the
candle； and when that was done； he went cautiously round the
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room； as if wishing to assure himself of the presence or absence of
something。 At last he had found a slight thing； which he put first in
his pocket； and then； on a second thought； took out again and
thrust deep down into a waste…paper basket。 It was a woman’s
little； pink； silk neckerchief。 He set the candle on the table； and
threw himself down on the ottoman again； exhausted with the
effort。
When Adam came back with his supplies； his entrance awoke
Arthur from a doze。
“That’s right；” Arthur said； “I’m tremendously in want of some
brandy…vigour。”
“I’m glad to see you’ve got a light； sir；” said Adam。 “I’ve been
thinking I’d better have asked for a lanthorn。”
“No； no； the candle will last long enough—I shall soon be up to
walking home now。”
“I can’t go before I’ve seen you safe home； sir；” said Adam；
hesitatingly。
“No： it will be better for you to stay—sit down。”
Adam sat down； and they remained opposite to each other in
uneasy silence； while Arthur slowly drank brandy…and…water； with
visibly renovating effect。 He began to lie in a more voluntary
position； and looked as if he were less overpowered by bodily
sensations。 Adam was keenly alive to these indications； and as his
anxiety about Arthur’s condition began to be allayed； he felt more
of that impatience which every one knows who has had his just
indignation suspended by the physical state of the culprit。 Yet
there was one thing on his mind to be done before he could recur
to remonstrance： it was to confess what had been unjust in his
own words。 Perhaps he longed all the more to make this
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confession； that his indignation might be free again； and as he saw
the signs of returning ease in Arthur； the words again and again
came to his lips and went back； checked by the thought that it
would be better to leave everything till to…morrow。 As long as they
were silent they did not look at each other； and a foreboding came
across Adam that if they began to speak as though they
remembered the past—if they looked at each other with full
recognition—they must take fire again。 So they sat in silence till
the bit of wax candle flickered low in the socket； the silence all the
while becoming more irksome to Adam。 Arthur had just poured
out some more brandy…and…water； and he threw one arm behind
his head and drew up one leg in an attitude of recovered ease；
which was an irresistible temptation to Adam to speak what was
on his mind。
“You begin to feel more yourself again； sir；” he said； as the
candle went out and they were half…hidden from each other in the
faint moonlight。
“Yes： I don’t feel good for much—very lazy； and not inclined to
move； but I’ll go home when I’ve taken this dose。”
There was a slight pause before Adam said； “My temper got the
better of me；
