adam bede(亚当[1].比德)-第105章
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do it。”
And then there stole over him delicious thoughts of coming
home from work； and drawing Hetty to his side； and feeling her
cheek softly pressed against his； till he forgot where he was； and
the music and the tread of feet might have been the falling of rain
and the roaring of the wind； for what he knew。
But now the third dance was ended； and he might go up to her
and claim her hand。 She was at the far end of the hall near the
staircase； whispering with Molly； who had just given the sleeping
Totty into her arms before running to fetch shawls and bonnets
from the landing。 Mrs。 Poyser had taken the two boys away into
the dining…room to give them some cake before they went home in
the cart with Grandfather and Molly was to follow as fast as
possible。
“Let me hold her；” said Adam； as Molly turned upstairs； “the
children are so heavy when they’re asleep。”
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Hetty was glad of the relief； for to hold Totty in her arms；
standing； was not at all a pleasant variety to her。 But this second
transfer had the unfortunate effect of rousing Totty； who was not
behind any child of her age in peevishness at an unseasonable
awaking。 While Hetty was in the act of placing her in Adam’s
arms； and had not yet withdrawn her own； Totty opened her eyes；
and forthwith fought out with her left fist at Adam’s arm； and with
her right caught at the string of brown beads round Hetty’s neck。
The locket leaped out from her frock； and the next moment the
string was broken； and Hetty； helpless； saw beads and locket
scattered wide on the floor。
“My locket； my locket！” she said； in a loud frightened whisper to
Adam； “never mind the beads。”
Adam had already seen where the locket fell； for it had
attracted his glance as it leaped out of her frock。 It had fallen on
the raised wooden dais where the band sat； not on the stone floor；
and as Adam picked it up； he saw the glass with the dark and light
locks of hair under it。 It had fallen that side upwards； so the glass
was not broken。 He turned it over on his hand； and saw the
enamelled gold back。
“It isn’t hurt；” he said； as he held it towards Hetty； who was
unable to take it because both her hands were occupied with
Totty。
“Oh； it doesn’t matter； I don’t mind about it；” said Hetty； who
had been pale and was now red。
“Not matter？” said Adam； gravely。 “You seemed very
frightened about it。 I’ll hold it till you’re ready to take it；” he
added； quietly closing his hand over it； that she might not think he
wanted to look at it again。
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By this time Molly had come with bonnet and shawl； and as
soon as she had taken Totty； Adam placed the locket in Hetty’s
hand。 She took it with an air of indifference and put it in her
pocket； in her heart vexed and angry with Adam because he had
seen it； but determined now that she would show no more signs of
agitation。
“See；” she said； “they’re taking their places to dance； let us go。”
Adam assented silently。 A puzzled alarm had taken possession
of him。 Had Hetty a lover he didn’t know of？ For none of her
relations； he was sure； would give her a locket like that； and none
of her admirers； with whom he was acquainted； was in the position
of an accepted lover； as the giver of that locket must be。 Adam was
lost in the utter impossibility of finding any person for his fears to
alight on。 He could only feel with a terrible pang that there was
something in Hetty’s life unknown to him； that while he had been
rocking himself in the hope that she would come to love him； she
was already loving another。 The pleasure of the dance with Hetty
was gone； his eyes； when they rested on her； had an uneasy
questioning expression in them； he could think of nothing to say to
her； and she too was out of temper and disinclined to speak。 They
were both glad when the dance was ended。
Adam was determined to stay no longer； no one wanted him；
and no one would notice if he slipped away。 As soon as he got out
of doors； he began to walk at his habitual rapid pace； hurrying
along without knowing why； busy with the painful thought that the
memory of this day； so full of honour and promise to him； was
poisoned for ever。 Suddenly； when he was far on through the
Chase； he stopped； startled by a flash of reviving hope。 After all； he
might be a fool； making a great misery out of a trifle。 Hetty； fond of
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finery as she was； might have bought the thing herself。 It looked
too expensive for that—it looked like the things on white satin in
the great jeweller’s shop at Rosseter。 But Adam had very
imperfect notions of the value of such things； and he thought it
could certainly not cost more than a guinea。 Perhaps Hetty had
had as much as that in Christmas boxes； and there was no
knowing but she might have been childish enough to spend it in
that way； she was such a young thing； and she couldn’t help loving
finery！ But then； why had she been so frightened about it at first；
and changed colour so； and afterwards pretended not to care？ Oh；
that was because she was ashamed of his seeing that she had such
a smart thing—she was conscious that it was wrong for her to
spend her money on it； and she knew that Adam disapproved of
finery。 It was a proof she cared about what he liked and disliked。
She must have thought from his silence and gravity afterwards
that he was very much displeased with her； that he was inclined to
be harsh and severe towards her foibles。 And as he walked on
more quietly； chewing the cud of this new hope； his only
uneasiness was that he had behaved in a way which might chill
Hetty’s feeling towards him。 For this last view of the matter must
be the true one。 How could Hetty have an accepted lover； quite
unknown to him？ She was never away from her uncle’s house for
more than a day； she could have no acquaintances that did not
come there； and no intimacies unknown to her uncle and aunt。 It
would be folly to believe that the locket was given to her by a
lover。 The little ring of dark hair he felt sure was her own； he
could form no guess about the light hair under it； for he had not
seen it very distinctly。 It might be a bit of her father’s or mother’s；
who had died when she was a child； and she would naturally put a
