robert falconer-第85章

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than　the　othersmore　indeed　than　she　cared　to　show；　for　fear　of

exposing　'an　old　woman's　ridiculous　fancy；'　as　she　called　her

predilection。'A　lang…leggit；　prood；　landless　laird；'　she　would

say；　with　a　moist　glimmer　in　her　loving　eyes；　'wi'　the　maist

ridiculous　feet　ye　ever　sawhardly　room　for　the　five　taes　atween

the　twa！　　Losh！'



When　Robert　went　forth　into　the　streets；　he　was　surprised　to　find

how　friendly　every　one　was。　　Even　old　William　MacGregor　shook　him

kindly　by　the　hand；　inquired　after　his　health；　told　him　not　to　study

too　hard；　informed　him　that　he　had　a　copy　of　a　queer　old　book　that

he　would　like　to　see；　&c。；　&c。　　Upon　reflection　Robert　discovered

the　cause：　though　he　had　scarcely　gained　a　bursary；　he　had　gained

prizes；　and　in　a　little　place　like　Rothiedenlong　may　there　be　such

places！everybody　with　any　brains　at　all　took　a　share　in　the

distinction　he　had　merited。



Ericson　stayed　only　a　few　days。　　He　went　back　to　the　twilight　of　the

north；　his　fishy　cousin；　and　his　tutorship　at　Sir　Olaf　Petersen's。

Robert　accompanied　him　ten　miles　on　his　journey；　and　would　have

gone　further；　but　that　he　was　to　play　on　his　violin　before　Miss　St。

John　the　next　day　for　the　first　time。



When　he　told　his　grandmother　of　the　appointment　he　had　made；　she

only　remarked；　in　a　tone　of　some　satisfaction；



'Weel；　she's　a　fine　lass；　Miss　St。　John；　and　gin　ye　tak　to　ane

anither；　ye　canna　do　better。'



But　Robert's　thoughts　were　so　different　from　Mrs。　Falconer's　that　he

did　not　even　suspect　what　she　meant。　　He　no　more　dreamed　of　marrying

Miss　St。　John　than　of　marrying　his　forbidden　grandmother。　　Yet　she

was　no　loss　at　this　period　the　ruling　influence　of　his　life；　and　if

it　had　not　been　for　the　benediction　of　her　presence　and　power；　this

part　of　his　history　too　would　have　been　torn　by　inward　troubles。　　It

is　not　good　that　a　man　should　batter　day　and　night　at　the　gate　of

heaven。　　Sometimes　he　can　do　nothing　else；　and　then　nothing　else　is

worth　doing；　but　the　very　noise　of　the　siege　will　sometimes　drown

the　still　small　voice　that　calls　from　the　open　postern。　　There　is　a

door　wide　to　the　jewelled　wall　not　far　from　any　one　of　us；　even　when

he　least　can　find　it。



Robert；　however；　notwithstanding　the　pedestal　upon　which　Miss　St。

John　stood　in　his　worshipping　regard；　began　to　be　aware　that　his

feeling　towards　her　was　losing　something　of　its　placid　flow；　and　I

doubt　whether　Miss　St。　John　did　not　now　and　then　see　that　in　his

face　which　made　her　tremble　a　little；　and　doubt　whether　she　stood　on

safe　ground　with　a　youth　just　waking　into　manhoodtremble　a　little；

not　for　herself；　but　for　him。　　Her　fear　would　have　found　itself　more

than　justified；　if　she　had　surprised　him　kissing　her　glove；　and　then

replacing　it　where　he　had　found　it；　with　the　air　of　one　consciously

guilty　of　presumption。



Possibly　also　Miss　St。　John　may　have　had　to　confess　to　herself　that

had　she　not　had　her　history　already；　and　been　ten　years　his　senior；

she　might　have　found　no　little　attraction　in　the　noble　bearing　and

handsome　face　of　young　Falconer。　　The　rest　of　his　features　had　now

grown　into　complete　harmony　of　relation　with　his　whilom　premature

and　therefore　portentous　nose；　his　eyes　glowed　and　gleamed　with

humanity；　and　his　whole　countenance　bore　self…evident　witness　of

being　a　true　face　and　no　mask；　a　revelation　of　his　individual　being；

and　not　a　mere　inheritance　from　a　fine　breed　of　fathers　and　mothers。

As　it　was；　she　could　admire　and　love　him　without　danger　of　falling

in　love　with　him；　but　not　without　fear　lest　he　should　not　assume　the

correlative　position。　　She　saw　no　way　of　prevention；　however；

without　running　a　risk　of　worse。　　She　shrunk　altogether　from　putting

on　anything；　she　abhorred　tact；　and　pretence　was　impracticable　with

Mary　St。　John。　She　resolved　that　if　she　saw　any　definite　ground　for

uneasiness　she　would　return　to　England；　and　leave　any　impression　she

might　have　made　to　wear　out　in　her　absence　and　silence。　　Things　did

not　seem　to　render　this　necessary　yet。



Meantime　the　violin　of　the　dead　shoemaker　blended　its　wails　with　the

rich　harmonies　of　Mary　St。　John's　piano；　and　the　soul　of　Robert　went

forth　upon　the　level　of　the　sound　and　hovered　about　the　beauty　of

his　friend。　　Oftener　than　she　approved　was　she　drawn　by　Robert's

eagerness　into　these　consorts。



But　the　heart　of　the　king　is　in　the　hands　of　the　Lord。



While　Robert　thus　once　more　for　a　season　stood　behind　the　cherub

with　the　flaming　sword；　Ericson　was　teaching　two　stiff…necked　youths

in　a　dreary　house　in　the　midst　of　one　of　the　moors　of　Caithness。

One　day　he　had　a　slight　attack　of　blood…spitting；　and　welcomed　it

as　a　sign　from　what　heaven　there　might　be　beyond　the　grave。



He　had　not　received　the　consolation　of　Miss　St。　John　without；

although　unconsciously；　leaving　something　in　her　mind　in　return。　　No

human　being　has　ever　been　allowed　to　occupy　the　position　of　a　pure

benefactor。　　The　receiver　has　his　turn；　and　becomes　the　giver。　　From

her　talk　with　Ericson；　and　even　more　from　the　influence　of　his　sad

holy　doubt；　a　fresh　touch　of　the　actinism　of　the　solar　truth　fell

upon　the　living　seed　in　her　heart；　and　her　life　burst　forth　afresh；

began　to　bud　in　new　questions　that　needed　answers；　and　new　prayers

that　sought　them。



But　she　never　dreamed　that　Robert　was　capable　of　sympathy　with　such

thoughts　and　feelings：　he　was　but　a　boy。　　Nor　in　power　of　dealing

with　truth　was　he　at　all　on　the　same　level　with　her；　for　however

poor　he　might　have　considered　her　theories；　she　had　led　a　life

hitherto；　had　passed　through　sorrow　without　bitterness；　had　done　her

duty　without　pride；　had　hoped　without　conceit　of　favour；　had；　as　she

believed；　heard　the　voice　of　God　saying；　'This　is　the　way。'　　Hence

she　was　not　afraid　when　the　mists　of　prejudice　began　to　rise　from

around　her　path；　and　reveal　a　country　very　different　from　what　she

had　fancied　it。　　She　was　soon　able　to　perceive　that　it　was　far　more

lovely　and　full　of　righteousness　and　peace　than　she　had　supposed。

But　this　anticipates；　only　I　shall　have　less　occasion　to　speak　of

Miss　St。　John　by　the　time　she　has　come　into　this　purer　air　of　the

uphill　road。



Robert　was　happier　than　he　ever　could　have　expected　to　be　in　his

grandmother's　house。　　She　treated　him　like　an　honoured　guest；　let

him　do　as　he　would；　and　go　where　he　pleased。　　Betty　kept　the

gable…room　in　the　best　of　order　for　him；　and；　pattern　of　housemaids；

dusted　his　table　without　disturbing　his　papers。　　For　he　began　to

have　papers；　nor　were　they　occupied　only　with　the　mathematics　to

which　he　was　now　giving　his　chief　attention；　preparing；　with　the

occasional　help　of　Mr。　Innes；　for　his　second　session。



He　had　fits　of　wandering；　though；　visited　all　the　old　places；　spent

a　week　or　two　more　than　once　at　Bodyfauld；　rode　Mr。　Lammie's

half…broke　filly；　revelled　in　the　glories　of　the　summer　once　more；

went　out　to　tea　occasionally；　or　supped　with　the　school…master；　and；

except　going　to　church　on　Sunday；　which　was　a　weariness　to　every

inch　of　flesh　upon　his　bones；　enjoyed　everything。









CHAPTER　XVIII。



A　GRAVE　OPENED。



One　thing　that　troubled　Robert　on　this　his　return　home；　was　the

discovery　that　the　surroundings　of　his　childhood　had　deserted　him。

There　they　were；　as　of　yore；　but　they　seemed　to　have　nothing　to　say

to　himno　remembrance　of　him。　　It　was　not　that　everything　looked

small　and　narrow；　it　was　not　that　the　streets　he　saw　from　his　new

quarters；　the　gable…room；　were　awfully　still　after　the　roar　of

Aberdeen；　and　a　passing　cart　seemed　to　shudder　at　the　loneliness　of

the　noise　itself　made；　it　was　that　everything　seemed　to　be　conscious

only　of　the　past　and　care　nothing　for　him　now。　　The　very　chairs　with

their　inlaid　backs　had　an　embalmed　look；　and　stood　as　in　a　dream。

He　could　pass　even　the　walled…up　door　without　emotion；　for　all　the

feeling　that　had　been　gathered　about　the　knob　that　admitted　him　to

Mary　St。　John；　had　transfe