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第56章

robert falconer-第56章

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effectual calling and the perseverance of the saints could be lawful

in a world that was under the wrath and curse of God。 Robert waited

in vain for a reply。



'Gang yer wa's;' she said at length。 'Mr。 Innes and me has some

business to mak an en' o'; an' we want nae assistance。'



Robert rejoined Shargar; who was still bemoaning the loss of his

sovereign。  His face brightened when he saw its well…known yellow

shine once more; but darkened again as soon as Robert told him to

what service it was now devoted。



'It's my ain;' he said; with a suppressed expostulatory growl。



Robert threw the coin on the floor。



'Tak yer filthy lucre!' he exclaimed with contempt; and turned to

leave Shargar alone in the garret with his sovereign。



'Bob!'  Shargar almost screamed; 'tak it; or I'll cut my throat。'



This was his constant threat when he was thoroughly in earnest。



'Cut it; an' hae dune wi' 't;' said Robert cruelly。



Shargar burst out crying。



'Len' me yer knife; than; Bob;' he sobbed; holding out his hand。



Robert burst into a roar of laughter; caught up the sovereign from

the floor; sped with it to the baker's; who refused to change it

because he had no knowledge of anything representing the sum of

twenty shillings except a pound…note; succeeded in getting silver

for it at the bank; and then ran to the soutar's。



After he left the parlour; the discussion of his fate was resumed

and finally settled between his grandmother and the school…master。

The former; in regard of the boy's determination to befriend the

shoemaker in the matter of music as well as of money; would now have

sent him at once to the grammar…school in Old Aberdeen; to prepare

for the competition in the month of November; but the latter

persuaded her that if the boy gave his whole attention to Latin till

the next summer; and then went to the grammar…school for three

months or so; he would have an excellent chance of success。  As to

the violin; the school…master said; wisely enough:



'He that will to Cupar maun to Cupar; and gin ye kep (intercept) him

upo' the shore…road; he'll tak to the hill…road; an' I s' warran' a

braw lad like Robert 'll get mony a ane in Ebberdeen 'll be ready

eneuch to gie him a lift wi' the fiddle; and maybe tak him into waur

company nor the puir bed…ridden soutar; an' wi' you an' me to hing

on to the tail o' 'im like; he canna gang ower the scar (cliff)

afore he learns wit。'



'Hm!' was the old lady's comprehensive response。



It was further arranged that Robert should be informed of their

conclusion; and so roused to effort in anticipation of the trial

upon which his course in life must depend。



Nothing could have been better for Robert than the prospect of a

college education。  But his first thought at the news was not of the

delights of learning nor of the honourable course that would ensue;

but of Eric Ericson; the poverty…stricken; friendless descendant of

yarls and sea…rovers。  He would see himthe only man that

understood him!  Not until the passion of this thought had abated;

did he begin to perceive the other advantages before him。  But so

practical and thorough was he in all his proposals and means; that

ere half…an…hour was gone; he had begun to go over his Rudiments

again。  He now wrote a version; or translation from English into

Latin; five times a week; and read Caeser; Virgil; or Tacitus; every

day。  He gained permission from his grandmother to remove his bed to

his own garret; and there; from the bedstead at which he no longer

kneeled; he would often rise at four in the morning; even when the

snow lay a foot thick on the skylight; kindle his lamp by means of a

tinder…box and a splinter of wood dipped in sulphur; and sitting

down in the keen cold; turn half a page of Addison into something as

near Ciceronian Latin as he could effect。  This would take him from

an hour and a half to two hours; when he would tumble again into

bed; blue and stiff; and sleep till it was time to get up and go to

the morning school before breakfast。  His health was excellent; else

it could never have stood such treatment。









CHAPTER III。



'THE END CROWNS ALL'。



His sole relaxation almost lay in the visit he paid every evening to

the soutar and his wife。  Their home was a wretched place; but

notwithstanding the poverty in which they were now sunk; Robert soon

began to see a change; like the dawning of light; an alba; as the

Italians call the dawn; in the appearance of something white here

and there about the room。  Robert's visits had set the poor woman

trying to make the place look decent。  It soon became at least

clean; and there is a very real sense in which cleanliness is next

to godliness。  If the people who want to do good among the poor

would give up patronizing them; would cease from trying to convert

them before they have gained the smallest personal influence with

them; would visit them as those who have just as good a right to be

here as they have; it would be all the better for both; perhaps

chiefly for themselves。



For the first week or so; Alexander; unable either to work or play;

and deprived of his usual consolation of drink; was very testy and

unmanageable。  If Robert; who strove to do his best; in the hope of

alleviating the poor fellow's sufferingschiefly those of the

mindhappened to mistake the time or to draw a false note from the

violin; Sandy would swear as if he had been the Grand Turk and

Robert one of his slaves。  But Robert was too vexed with himself;

when he gave occasion to such an outburst; to mind the outburst

itself。  And invariably when such had taken place; the shoemaker

would ask forgiveness before he went。  Holding out his left hand;

from which nothing could efface the stains of rosin and lamp…black

and heel…ball; save the sweet cleansing of mother…earth; he would

say;



'Robert; ye'll jist pit the sweirin' doon wi' the lave (rest); an'

score 't oot a'thegither。  I'm an ill…tongued vratch; an' I'm

beginnin' to see 't。  But; man; ye're jist behavin' to me like God

himsel'; an' gin it warna for you; I wad jist lie here roarin' an'

greitin' an' damnin' frae mornin' to nicht。Ye will be in the

morn's nightwillna ye?' he would always end by asking with some

anxiety。



'Of coorse I will;' Robert would answer。



'Gude nicht; than; gude nicht。I'll try and get a sicht o' my sins

ance mair;' he added; one evening。 'Gin I could only be a wee bit

sorry for them; I reckon he wad forgie me。  Dinna ye think he wad;

Robert?'



'Nae doobt; nae doobt;' answered Robert hurriedly。 'They a' say 'at

gin a man repents the richt gait; he'll forgie him。'



He could not say more than 'They say;' for his own horizon was all

dark; and even in saying this much he felt like a hypocrite。  A

terrible waste; heaped thick with the potsherds of hope; lay outside

that door of prayer which he had; as he thought; nailed up for ever。



'An' what is the richt gait?' asked the soutar。



''Deed; that's mair nor I ken; Sandy;' answered Robert mournfully。



'Weel; gin ye dinna ken; what's to come o' me?' said Alexander

anxiously。



'Ye maun speir at himsel';' returned Robert; 'an' jist tell him 'at

ye dinna ken; but ye'll do onything 'at he likes。'



With these words he took his leave hurriedly; somewhat amazed to

find that he had given the soutar the strange advice to try just

what he had tried so unavailingly himself。  And stranger still; he

found himself; before he reached home; praying once more in his

heartboth for Dooble Sanny and for himself。  From that hour a

faint hope was within him that some day he might try again; though

he dared not yet encounter such effort and agony。



All this time he had never doubted that there was God; nor had he

ventured to say within himself that perhaps God was not good; he had

simply come to the conclusion that for him there was no approach to

the fountain of his bein

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