robert falconer-第24章

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groaned　and　played　the　fiddle　between。　　And　finding　that　the　report

had　reached　his　grandmother's　ears；　Robert　thought　it　prudent；　much

to　his　discontent；　to　intermit　his　visits　to　the　factory。　　Mrs。

Falconer；　of　course；　received　the　rumour　with　indignant　scorn；　and

peremptorily　refused　to　allow　any　examination　of　the　premises。



But　how　have　the　violin　by　him　and　not　hear　her　speak？　　One　evening

the　longing　after　her　voice　grow　upon　him　till　he　could　resist　it　no

longer。　　He　shut　the　door　of　his　garret…room；　and；　with　Shargar　by

him；　took　her　out　and　began　to　play　softly；　gentlyoh　so　softly；　so

gently！　　Shargar　was　enraptured。　　Robert　went　on　playing。



Suddenly　the　door　opened；　and　his　grannie　stood　awfully　revealed

before　them。　　Betty　had　heard　the　violin；　and　had　flown　to　the

parlour　in　the　belief　that；　unable　to　get　any　one　to　heed　him　at　the

factory；　the　ghost　had　taken　Janet's　advice；　and　come　home。　　But　his

wife　smiled　a　smile　of　contempt；　went　with　Betty　to　the

kitchenover　which　Robert's　room　layheard　the　sounds；　put　off　her

creaking　shoes；　stole　up…stairs　on　her　soft　white　lambswool

stockings；　and　caught　the　pair。　　The　violin　was　seized；　put　in　its

case；　and　carried　off；　and　Mrs。　Falconer　rejoiced　to　think　she　had

broken　a　gin　set　by　Satan　for　the　unwary　feet　of　her　poor　Robert。

Little　she　knew　the　wonder　of　that　violinhow　it　had　kept　the　soul

of　her　husband　alive！　　Little　she　knew　how　dangerous　it　is　to　shut

an　open　door；　with　ever　so　narrow　a　peep　into　the　eternal；　in　the

face　of　a　son　of　Adam！　　And　little　she　knew　how　determinedly　and

restlessly　a　nature　like　Robert's　would　search　for　another；　to　open

one　possibly　which　she　might　consider　ten　times　more　dangerous　than

that　which　she　had　closed。



When　Alexander　heard　of　the　affair；　he　was　at　first　overwhelmed　with

the　misfortune；　but　gathering　a　little　heart　at　last；　he　set　to

'working；'　as　he　said　himself；　'like　a　verra　deevil'；　and　as　he　was

the　best　shoemaker　in　the　town；　and　for　the　time　abstained　utterly

from　whisky；　and　all　sorts　of　drink　but　well…water；　he　soon　managed

to　save　the　money　necessary；　and　redeem　the　old　fiddle。　　But　whether

it　was　from　fancy；　or　habit；　or　what；　even　Robert's　inexperienced

ear　could　not　accommodate　itself；　save　under　protest；　to　the

instrument　which　once　his　teacher　had　considered　all　but　perfect；

and　it　needed　the　master's　finest　touch　to　make　its　tone　other　than

painful　to　the　sense　of　the　neophyte。



No　one　can　estimate　too　highly　the　value　of　such　a　resource　to　a　man

like　the　shoemaker；　or　a　boy　like　Robert。　　Whatever　it　be　that　keeps

the　finer　faculties　of　the　mind　awake；　wonder　alive；　and　the

interest　above　mere　eating　and　drinking；　money…making　and

money…saving；　whatever　it　be　that　gives　gladness；　or　sorrow；　or

hopethis；　be　it　violin；　pencil；　pen；　or；　highest　of　all；　the　love

of　woman；　is　simply　a　divine　gift　of　holy　influence　for　the

salvation　of　that　being　to　whom　it　comes；　for　the　lifting　of　him　out

of　the　mire　and　up　on　the　rock。　　For　it　keeps　a　way　open　for　the

entrance　of　deeper；　holier；　grander　influences；　emanating　from　the

same　riches　of　the　Godhead。　　And　though　many　have　genius　that　have

no　grace；　they　will　only　be　so　much　the　worse；　so　much　the　nearer　to

the　brute；　if　you　take　from　them　that　which　corresponds　to　Dooble

Sanny's　fiddle。









CHAPTER　XII。



ROBERT'S　PLAN　OF　SALVATION。



For　some　time　after　the　loss　of　his　friend；　Robert　went　loitering

and　mooning　about；　quite　neglecting　the　lessons　to　which　he　had　not；

it　must　be　confessed；　paid　much　attention　for　many　weeks。　　Even　when

seated　at　his　grannie's　table；　he　could　do　no　more　than　fix　his　eyes

on　his　book：　to　learn　was　impossible；　it　was　even　disgusting　to　him。

But　his　was　a　nature　which；　foiled　in　one　direction；　must；

absolutely　helpless　against　its　own　vitality；　straightway　send　out

its　searching　roots　in　another。　　Of　all　forces；　that　of　growth　is

the　one　irresistible；　for　it　is　the　creating　power　of　God；　the　law

of　life　and　of　being。　　Therefore　no　accumulation　of　refusals；　and

checks；　and　turnings；　and　forbiddings；　from　all　the　good　old

grannies　in　the　world；　could　have　prevented　Robert　from　striking

root　downward；　and　bearing　fruit　upward；　though；　as　in　all　higher

natures；　the　fruit　was　a　long　way　off　yet。　　But　his　soul　was　only

sad　and　hungry。　　He　was　not　unhappy；　for　he　had　been　guilty　of

nothing　that　weighed　on　his　conscience。　　He　had　been　doing　many

things　of　late；　it　is　true；　without　asking　leave　of　his　grandmother；

but　wherever　prayer　is　felt　to　be　of　no　avail；　there　cannot　be　the

sense　of　obligation　save　on　compulsion。　　Even　direct　disobedience　in

such　case　will　generally　leave　little　soreness；　except　the　thing

forbidden　should　be　in　its　own　nature　wrong；　and　then；　indeed；　'Don

Worm；　the　conscience；'　may　begin　to　bite。　　But　Robert　felt　nothing

immoral　in　playing　upon　his　grandfather's　violin；　nor　even　in　taking

liberties　with　a　piece　of　lumber　for　which　nobody　cared　but　possibly

the　dead；　therefore　he　was　not　unhappy；　only　much　disappointed；　very

empty；　and　somewhat　gloomy。　　There　was　nothing　to　look　forward　to

now；　no　secret　full　of　riches　and　endless　in　hopein　short；　no

violin。



To　feel　the　full　force　of　his　loss；　my　reader　must　remember　that

around　the　childhood　of　Robert；　which　he　was　fast　leaving　behind

him；　there　had　gathered　no　tendernessnone　at　least　by　him

recognizable　as　such。　　All　the　women　he　came　in　contact　with　were

his　grandmother　and　Betty。　　He　had　no　recollection　of　having　ever

been　kissed。　　From　the　darkness　and　negation　of　such　an

embryo…existence；　his　nature　had　been　unconsciously　striving　to

escapestruggling　to　get　from　below　ground　into　the　sunlit

airsighing　after　a　freedom　he　could　not　have　defined；　the　freedom

that　comes；　not　of　independence；　but　of　lovenot　of　lawlessness；

but　of　the　perfection　of　law。　　Of　this　beauty　of　life；　with　its

wonder　and　its　deepness；　this　unknown　glory；　his　fiddle　had　been　the

type。　　It　had　been　the　ark　that　held；　if　not　the　tables　of　the

covenant；　yet　the　golden　pot　of　angel's　food；　and　the　rod　that

budded　in　death。　　And　now　that　it　was　gone；　the　gloomier　aspect　of

things　began　to　lay　hold　upon　him；　his　soul　turned　itself　away　from

the　sun；　and　entered　into　the　shadow　of　the　under…world。　　Like　the

white…horsed　twins　of　lake　Regillus；　like　Phoebe；　the　queen　of　skyey

plain　and　earthly　forest；　every　boy　and　girl；　every　man　and　woman；

that　lives　at　all；　has　to　divide　many　a　year　between　Tartarus　and

Olympus。



For　now　arose　within　him；　not　without　ultimate　good；　the　evil

phantasms　of　a　theology　which　would　explain　all　God's　doings　by　low

conceptions；　low　I　mean　for　humanity　even；　of　right；　and　law；　and

justice；　then　only　taking　refuge　in　the　fact　of　the　incapacity　of

the　human　understanding　when　its　own　inventions　are　impugned　as

undivine。　　In　such　a　system；　hell　is　invariably　the　deepest　truth；

and　the　love　of　God　is　not　so　deep　as　hell。　　Hence；　as　foundations

must　be　laid　in　the　deepest；　the　system　is　founded　in　hell；　and　the

first　article　in　the　creed　that　Robert　Falconer　learned　was；　'I

believe　in　hell。'　　Practically；　I　mean；　it　was　so；　else　how　should

it　be　that　as　often　as　a　thought　of　religious　duty　arose　in　his

mind；　it　appeared　in　the　form　of　escaping　hell；　of　fleeing　from　the

wrath　to　come？　　For　his　very　nature　was　hell；　being　not　born　in　sin

and　brought　forth　in　iniquity；　but　born　sin　and　brought　forth

iniquity。　　And　yet　God　made　him。　　He　must　believe　that。　　And　he　must

believe；　too；　that　God　was　just；　awfully　just；　punishing　with

fearful　pains　those　who　did　not　go　through　a　certain　process　of　mind

which　it　was　utterly　impossible　they　should　go　through　without　a

help　which　he　would　give　to　some；　and　withhold　from　others；　the

reason　of　the　difference　not　being　such；　to　say　the　least　of　it；　as

to　come　within　the　reach　of　the　persons　concerned。　　And　this　God

they　said　was　love。　　It　was　logically　absur