the surprising adventures of baron munchausen-第33章

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uctive　of　infinite　litigation。　All　the　lawyers　in　the　kingdom　were　employed；　to　render　the　affair　as　complex　and　gloriously　uncertain　as　possible；　and；　in　fine；　the　whole　nation　became　interested；　and　were　divided　on　both　sides　of　the　question。　Colossus　took　the　part　of　Sphinx；　and　the　affair　was　at　length　submitted　to　the　decision　of　a　grand　council　in　a　great　hall；　adorned　with　seats　on　every　side　in　form　of　an　amphitheatre。　The　assembly　appeared　the　most　magnificent　and　splendid　in　the　world。　A　court　or　jury　of　one　hundred　matrons　occupied　the　principal　and　most　honourable　part　of　the　amphitheatre；　they　were　dressed　in　flowing　robes　of　sky…blue　velvet　adorned　with　festoons　of　brilliants　and　diamond　stars；　grave　and　sedate…looking　matrons；　all　in　uniform；　with　spectacles　upon　their　noses；　and　opposite　to　these　were　placed　one　hundred　judges；　with　curly　white　wigs　flowing　down　on　each　side　of　them　to　their　very　feet；　so　that　Solomon　in　all　his　glory　was　not　so　wise　in　appearance。　At　the　ardent　request　of　the　whole　empire　I

condescended　to　be　the　president　of　the　court；　and　being　arrayed　accordingly；　I　took　my　seat　beneath　a　canopy　erected　in　the　centre。　Before　every　judge　was　placed　a　square　inkstand；　containing　a　gallon　of　ink；　and　pens　of　a　proportionable　size；　and　also　right　before　him　an　enormous　folio；　so　large　as　to　serve　for　table　and　book　at　the　same　time。　But　they　did　not　make　much　use　of　their　pens　and　ink；　except　to　blot　and　daub　the　paper；　for；　that　they　should　be　the　more　impartial；　I　had　ordered　that　none　but　the　blind　should　be　honoured　with　the　employment：　so　that　when　they　attempted　to　write　anything；　they　uniformly　dipped　their　pens　into　the　machine　containing　sand；　and　having　scrawled　over　a　page　as　they　thought；　desiring　them　to　dry　it　with　sand；　would　spill　half　a　gallon　of　ink　upon　the　paper；　and　thereby　daubing　their　fingers；　would　transfer　the　ink　to　their　face　whenever　thy　leaned　their　cheek　upon　their　hand　for　greater　gravity。　As　to　the　matrons；　to　prevent　an　eternal　prattle　that　would　drown　all　manner　of　intelligibility；　I　found　it　absolutely　necessary　to　sew　up　their　mouths；　so　that　between　the　blind　judges　and　the　dumb　matrons　methought　the　trial　had　a　chance　of　being　terminated　sooner　than　it　otherwise　would。　The　matrons；　instead　of　their　tongues；　had　other　instruments　to　convey　their　ideas：　each　of　them　had　three　quizzes；　one　quiz　pendent　from　the　string　that　sewed　up　her　mouth；　and　another　quiz　in　either　hand。　When　she　wished　to　express　her　negative；　she　darted　and　recoiled　the　quizzes　in　her　right　and　left　hand；　and　when　she　desired　to　express　her　affirmative；　she；　nodding；　made　the　quiz　pendent　from　her　mouth　flow　down　and　recoil　again。　The　trial　proceeded　in　this　manner　for　a　long　time；　to　the　admiration　of　the　whole　empire；　when　at　length　I　thought　proper　to　send　to　my　old　friend　and　ally；　Prester　John；　entreating　him　to　forward　to　me　one　of　the　species　of　wild　and　curious　birds　found　in　his　kingdom；　called　a　Wauwau。　This　creature　was　brought　over　the　great　bridge　before　mentioned；　from　the　interior　of　Africa；　by　a　balloon。　The　balloon　was　placed　upon　the　bridge；　extending　over　the　parapets　on　each　side；　with　great　wings　or　oars　to　assist　its　velocity；　and　under　the　balloon　was　placed　pendant　a　kind　of　boat；　in　which　were　the　persons　to　manage　the　steerage　of　the　machine；　and　protect　Wauwau。　This　oracular　bird；　arriving　in　England；　instantly　darted　through　one　of　the　windows　of　the　great　hall；　and　perched　upon　the　canopy　in　the　centre　to　the　admiration　of　all　present。　Her　cackling　appeared　quite　prophetic　and　oracular；　and　the　first　question　proposed　to　her　by　the　unanimous　consent　of　the　matrons　and　judges　was；　Whether　or　not　the　moon　was　composed　of　green　cheese？　The　solution　of　this　question　was　deemed　absolutely　necessary　before　they　could　proceed　farther　on　the　trial。

Wauwau　seemed　in　figure　not　very　much　differing　from　a　swan；　except　that　the　neck　was　not　near　so　long；　and　she　stood　after　an　admirable　fashion　like　to　Vestris。　She　began　cackling　most　sonorously；　and　the　whole　assembly　agreed　that　it　was　absolutely　necessary　to　catch　her；　and　having　her　in　their　immediate　possession；　nothing　more　would　be　requisite　for　the　termination　of　this　litigated　affair。　For　this　purpose　the　whole　house　rose　up　to　catch　her；　and　approached　in　tumult；　the　judges　brandishing　their　pens；　and　shaking　their　big　wigs；　and　the　matrons　quizzing　as　much　as　possible　in　every　direction；　which　very　much　startled　Wauwau；　who；　clapping　her　wings；　instantly　flew　out　of　the　hall。　The　assembly　began　to　proceed　after　her　in　order　and　style　of　precedence；　together　with　my　whole　train　of　Gog　and　Magog；　Sphinx；　Hilaro　Frosticos；　Queen　Mab's　chariot；　the　bulls　and　crickets；　&c。；　preceded　by　bands　of　music；　while　Wauwau；　descending　on　the　earth；　ran　on　like　an　ostrich　before　the　troop；　cackling　all　the　way。　Thinking　suddenly　to　catch　this　ferocious　animal；　the　judges　and　matrons　would　suddenly　quicken　their　pace；　but　the　creature　would　as　quickly　outrun　them；　or　sometimes　fly　away　for　many　miles　together；　and　then　alight　to　take　breath　until　we　came　within　sight　of　her　again。　Our　train　journeyed　over　a　most　prodigious　tract　of　country　in　a　direct　line；　over　hills　and　dales；　to　the　summit　of　Plinlimmon；　where　we　thought　to　have　seized　Wauwau；　but　she　instantly　took　flight；　and　never　ceased　until　she　arrived　at　the　mouth　of　the　Potomac　river　in　Virginia。

Our　company　immediately　embarked　in　the　machines　before　described；　in　which　we　had　journeyed　into　Africa；　and　after　a　few　days'　sail　arrived　in　North　America。　We　met　with　nothing　curious　on　our　voyage；　except　a　floating　island；　containing　some　very　delightful　villages；　inhabited　by　a　few　whites　and　negroes；　the　sugar　cane　did　not　thrive　there　well；　on　account；　as　I　was　informed；　of　the　variety　of　the　climates；　the　island　being　sometimes　driven　up　as　far　as　the　north　pole；　and　at　other　times　wafted　under　the　equinoctial。　In　pity　to　the　poor　islanders；　I　got　a　huge　stake　of　iron；　and　driving　it　through　the　centre　of　the　island；　fastened　it　to　the　rocks　and　mud　at　the　bottom　of　the　sea；　since　which　time　the　island　has　become　stationary；　and　is　well　known　at　present　by　the　name　of　St。　Christopher's；　and　there　is　not　an　island　in　the　world　more　secure。

Arriving　in　North　America；　we　were　received　by　the　President　of　the　United　States　with　every　honour　and　politeness。　He　was　pleased　to　give　us　all　the　information　possible　relative　to　the　woods　and　immense　regions　of　America；　and　ordered　troops　of　the　different　tribes　of　the　Esquimaux　to　guide　us　through　the　forests　in　pursuit　of　Wauwau；　who；　we　at　length　found；　had　taken　refuge　in　the　centre　of　a　morass。　The　inhabitants　of　the　country；　who　loved　hunting；　were　much　delighted　to　behold　the　manner　in　which　we　attempted　to　seize　upon　Wauwau；　the　chase　was　noble　and　uncommon。　I　determined　to　surround　the　animal　on　every　side；　and　for　this　purpose　ordered　the　judges　and　matrons　to　surround　the　morass　with　nets　extending　a　mile　in　height；　on　various　parts　of　which　net　the　company　disposed　themselves；　floating　in　the　air　like　so　many　spiders　upon　their　cobwebs。　Magog；　at　my　command；　put　on　a　kind　of　armour　that　he　had　carried　with　him　for　the　purpose；　corselet　of　steel；　with　gauntlets；　helmet；　&c。；　so　as　nearly　to　resemble　a　mole。　He　instantly　plunged　into　the　earth；　making　way　with　his　sharp　steel　head…piece；　and　tearing　up　the　ground　with　his　iron　claws；　and　found　not　much　difficulty　therein；　as　morass　in　general　is　of　a　soft　and　yielding　texture。　Thus　he　hoped　to　undermine　Wauwau；　and　suddenly　rising；　seize　her　by　the　foot；　while　his　brother　Gog　ascended　the　air　in　a　balloon；　hoping　to　catch　her　if　she　could　escape　Magog。　Thus　the　animal　was　surrounded　on　every　side；　and　at　first　was　very　much　terrified；　knowing　not　which　way　she　had　best　to　go。　At　length　hearing　an　obscure　noise　under　ground；　Wauwau　took　flight　before　Magog　could　have　time　to　catch　her　by　the　foot。　She　flew　to　the　right；　then　to　the　left；　north；　east；　west；　and　south；　but　found　on　every　side　the　company　prepared　upon　their　nets。　At　length　she　flew　right　up；　soaring　at　a　most　astonishing　rate　towards　the　sun；　while　the　company　on　every　side　set　up　one　general　acc