the surprising adventures of baron munchausen-µÚ14ÕÂ
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ct£»¡¡that¡¡during¡¡the¡¡three¡¡months¡¡the¡¡college¡¡was¡¡suspended¡¡in¡¡the¡¡air£»¡¡and¡¡therefore¡¡incapable¡¡of¡¡attending¡¡their¡¡patients£»¡¡no¡¡deaths¡¡happened£»¡¡except¡¡a¡¡few¡¡who¡¡fell¡¡before¡¡the¡¡scythe¡¡of¡¡Father¡¡Time£»¡¡and¡¡some¡¡melancholy¡¡objects¡¡who£»¡¡perhaps¡¡to¡¡avoid¡¡some¡¡trifling¡¡inconvenience¡¡here£»¡¡laid¡¡the¡¡hands¡¡of¡¡violence¡¡upon¡¡themselves£»¡¡and¡¡plunged¡¡into¡¡misery¡¡infinitely¡¡greater¡¡than¡¡that¡¡which¡¡they¡¡hoped¡¡by¡¡such¡¡a¡¡rash¡¡step¡¡to¡¡avoid£»¡¡without¡¡a¡¡moment's¡¡consideration¡£
If¡¡the¡¡apothecaries¡¡had¡¡not¡¡been¡¡very¡¡active¡¡during¡¡the¡¡above¡¡time£»¡¡half¡¡the¡¡undertakers¡¡in¡¡all¡¡probability¡¡would¡¡have¡¡been¡¡bankrupts¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡CHAPTER¡¡XIII
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We¡¡all¡¡remember¡¡Captain¡¡Phipps's¡¡£¨now¡¡Lord¡¡Mulgrave£©¡¡last¡¡voyage¡¡of¡¡discovery¡¡to¡¡the¡¡north¡£¡¡I¡¡accompanied¡¡the¡¡captain£»¡¡not¡¡as¡¡an¡¡officer£»¡¡but¡¡as¡¡a¡¡private¡¡friend¡£¡¡When¡¡we¡¡arrived¡¡in¡¡a¡¡high¡¡northern¡¡latitude¡¡I¡¡was¡¡viewing¡¡the¡¡objects¡¡around¡¡me¡¡with¡¡the¡¡telescope¡¡which¡¡I¡¡introduced¡¡to¡¡your¡¡notice¡¡in¡¡my¡¡Gibraltar¡¡adventures¡£¡¡I¡¡thought¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡two¡¡large¡¡white¡¡bears¡¡in¡¡violent¡¡action¡¡upon¡¡a¡¡body¡¡of¡¡ice¡¡considerably¡¡above¡¡the¡¡masts£»¡¡and¡¡about¡¡half¡¡a¡¡league¡¡distance¡£¡¡I¡¡immediately¡¡took¡¡my¡¡carbine£»¡¡slung¡¡it¡¡across¡¡my¡¡shoulder£»¡¡and¡¡ascended¡¡the¡¡ice¡£¡¡When¡¡I¡¡arrived¡¡at¡¡the¡¡top£»¡¡the¡¡unevenness¡¡of¡¡the¡¡surface¡¡made¡¡my¡¡approach¡¡to¡¡those¡¡animals¡¡troublesome¡¡and¡¡hazardous¡¡beyond¡¡expression£º¡¡sometimes¡¡hideous¡¡cavities¡¡opposed¡¡me£»¡¡which¡¡I¡¡was¡¡obliged¡¡to¡¡spring¡¡over£»¡¡in¡¡other¡¡parts¡¡the¡¡surface¡¡was¡¡as¡¡smooth¡¡as¡¡a¡¡mirror£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡was¡¡continually¡¡falling£º¡¡as¡¡I¡¡approached¡¡near¡¡enough¡¡to¡¡reach¡¡them£»¡¡I¡¡found¡¡they¡¡were¡¡only¡¡at¡¡play¡£¡¡I¡¡immediately¡¡began¡¡to¡¡calculate¡¡the¡¡value¡¡of¡¡their¡¡skins£»¡¡for¡¡they¡¡were¡¡each¡¡as¡¡large¡¡as¡¡a¡¡well¡fed¡¡ox£º¡¡unfortunately£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡very¡¡instant¡¡I¡¡was¡¡presenting¡¡my¡¡carbine¡¡my¡¡right¡¡foot¡¡slipped£»¡¡I¡¡fell¡¡upon¡¡my¡¡back£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡violence¡¡of¡¡the¡¡blow¡¡deprived¡¡me¡¡totally¡¡of¡¡my¡¡senses¡¡for¡¡nearly¡¡half¡¡an¡¡hour£»¡¡however£»¡¡when¡¡I¡¡recovered£»¡¡judge¡¡of¡¡my¡¡surprise¡¡at¡¡finding¡¡one¡¡of¡¡those¡¡large¡¡animals¡¡I¡¡have¡¡been¡¡just¡¡describing¡¡had¡¡turned¡¡me¡¡upon¡¡my¡¡face£»¡¡and¡¡was¡¡just¡¡laying¡¡hold¡¡of¡¡the¡¡waistband¡¡of¡¡my¡¡breeches£»¡¡which¡¡were¡¡then¡¡new¡¡and¡¡made¡¡of¡¡leather£º¡¡he¡¡was¡¡certainly¡¡going¡¡to¡¡carry¡¡me¡¡feet¡¡foremost£»¡¡God¡¡knows¡¡where£»¡¡when¡¡I¡¡took¡¡this¡¡knife¡¡£¨showing¡¡a¡¡large¡¡clasp¡¡knife£©¡¡out¡¡of¡¡my¡¡side¡pocket£»¡¡made¡¡a¡¡chop¡¡at¡¡one¡¡of¡¡his¡¡hind¡¡feet£»¡¡and¡¡cut¡¡off¡¡three¡¡of¡¡his¡¡toes£»¡¡he¡¡immediately¡¡let¡¡me¡¡drop¡¡and¡¡roared¡¡most¡¡horribly¡£¡¡I¡¡took¡¡up¡¡my¡¡carbine¡¡and¡¡fired¡¡at¡¡him¡¡as¡¡he¡¡ran¡¡off£»¡¡he¡¡fell¡¡directly¡£¡¡The¡¡noise¡¡of¡¡the¡¡piece¡¡roused¡¡several¡¡thousand¡¡of¡¡these¡¡white¡¡bears£»¡¡who¡¡were¡¡asleep¡¡upon¡¡the¡¡ice¡¡within¡¡half¡¡a¡¡mile¡¡of¡¡me£»¡¡they¡¡came¡¡immediately¡¡to¡¡the¡¡spot¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡no¡¡time¡¡to¡¡be¡¡lost¡£¡¡A¡¡most¡¡fortunate¡¡thought¡¡arrived¡¡in¡¡my¡¡pericranium¡¡just¡¡at¡¡that¡¡instant¡£¡¡I¡¡took¡¡off¡¡the¡¡skin¡¡and¡¡head¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dead¡¡bear¡¡in¡¡half¡¡the¡¡time¡¡that¡¡some¡¡people¡¡would¡¡be¡¡in¡¡skinning¡¡a¡¡rabbit£»¡¡and¡¡wrapped¡¡myself¡¡in¡¡it£»¡¡placing¡¡my¡¡own¡¡head¡¡directly¡¡under¡¡Bruin's£»¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡herd¡¡came¡¡round¡¡me¡¡immediately£»¡¡and¡¡my¡¡apprehensions¡¡threw¡¡me¡¡into¡¡a¡¡most¡¡piteous¡¡situation¡¡to¡¡be¡¡sure£º¡¡however£»¡¡my¡¡scheme¡¡turned¡¡out¡¡a¡¡most¡¡admirable¡¡one¡¡for¡¡my¡¡own¡¡safety¡£¡¡They¡¡all¡¡came¡¡smelling£»¡¡and¡¡evidently¡¡took¡¡me¡¡for¡¡a¡¡brother¡¡Bruin£»¡¡I¡¡wanted¡¡nothing¡¡but¡¡bulk¡¡to¡¡make¡¡an¡¡excellent¡¡counterfeit£º¡¡however£»¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡several¡¡cubs¡¡amongst¡¡them¡¡not¡¡much¡¡larger¡¡than¡¡myself¡£¡¡After¡¡they¡¡had¡¡all¡¡smelt¡¡me£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡body¡¡of¡¡their¡¡deceased¡¡companion£»¡¡whose¡¡skin¡¡was¡¡now¡¡become¡¡my¡¡protector£»¡¡we¡¡seemed¡¡very¡¡sociable£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡found¡¡I¡¡could¡¡mimic¡¡all¡¡their¡¡actions¡¡tolerably¡¡well£»¡¡but¡¡at¡¡growling£»¡¡roaring£»¡¡and¡¡hugging¡¡they¡¡were¡¡quite¡¡my¡¡masters¡£¡¡I¡¡began¡¡now¡¡to¡¡think¡¡that¡¡I¡¡might¡¡turn¡¡the¡¡general¡¡confidence¡¡which¡¡I¡¡had¡¡created¡¡amongst¡¡these¡¡animals¡¡to¡¡my¡¡advantage¡£
I¡¡had¡¡heard¡¡an¡¡old¡¡army¡¡surgeon¡¡say¡¡a¡¡wound¡¡in¡¡the¡¡spine¡¡was¡¡instant¡¡death¡£¡¡I¡¡now¡¡determined¡¡to¡¡try¡¡the¡¡experiment£»¡¡and¡¡had¡¡again¡¡recourse¡¡to¡¡my¡¡knife£»¡¡with¡¡which¡¡I¡¡struck¡¡the¡¡largest¡¡in¡¡the¡¡back¡¡of¡¡the¡¡neck£»¡¡near¡¡the¡¡shoulders£»¡¡but¡¡under¡¡great¡¡apprehensions£»¡¡not¡¡doubting¡¡but¡¡the¡¡creature¡¡would£»¡¡if¡¡he¡¡survived¡¡the¡¡stab£»¡¡tear¡¡me¡¡to¡¡pieces¡£¡¡However£»¡¡I¡¡was¡¡remarkably¡¡fortunate£»¡¡for¡¡he¡¡fell¡¡dead¡¡at¡¡my¡¡feet¡¡without¡¡making¡¡the¡¡least¡¡noise¡£¡¡I¡¡was¡¡now¡¡resolved¡¡to¡¡demolish¡¡them¡¡every¡¡one¡¡in¡¡the¡¡same¡¡manner£»¡¡which¡¡I¡¡accomplished¡¡without¡¡the¡¡least¡¡difficulty£»¡¡for¡¡although¡¡they¡¡saw¡¡their¡¡companions¡¡fall£»¡¡they¡¡had¡¡no¡¡suspicion¡¡of¡¡either¡¡the¡¡cause¡¡or¡¡the¡¡effect¡£¡¡When¡¡they¡¡all¡¡lay¡¡dead¡¡before¡¡me£»¡¡I¡¡felt¡¡myself¡¡a¡¡second¡¡Samson£»¡¡having¡¡slain¡¡my¡¡thousands¡£
To¡¡make¡¡short¡¡of¡¡the¡¡story£»¡¡I¡¡went¡¡back¡¡to¡¡the¡¡ship£»¡¡and¡¡borrowed¡¡three¡¡parts¡¡of¡¡the¡¡crew¡¡to¡¡assist¡¡me¡¡in¡¡skinning¡¡them£»¡¡and¡¡carrying¡¡the¡¡hams¡¡on¡¡board£»¡¡which¡¡we¡¡did¡¡in¡¡a¡¡few¡¡hours£»¡¡and¡¡loaded¡¡the¡¡ship¡¡with¡¡them¡£¡¡As¡¡to¡¡the¡¡other¡¡parts¡¡of¡¡the¡¡animals£»¡¡they¡¡were¡¡thrown¡¡into¡¡the¡¡sea£»¡¡though¡¡I¡¡doubt¡¡not¡¡but¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡would¡¡eat¡¡as¡¡well¡¡as¡¡the¡¡legs£»¡¡were¡¡they¡¡properly¡¡cured¡£
As¡¡soon¡¡as¡¡we¡¡returned¡¡I¡¡sent¡¡some¡¡of¡¡the¡¡hams£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡captain's¡¡name£»¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Lords¡¡of¡¡Admiralty£»¡¡others¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Lords¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Treasury£»¡¡some¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Lord¡¡Mayor¡¡and¡¡Corporation¡¡of¡¡London£»¡¡a¡¡few¡¡to¡¡each¡¡of¡¡the¡¡trading¡¡companies£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡remainder¡¡to¡¡my¡¡particular¡¡friends£»¡¡from¡¡all¡¡of¡¡whom¡¡I¡¡received¡¡warm¡¡thanks£»¡¡but¡¡from¡¡the¡¡city¡¡I¡¡was¡¡honoured¡¡with¡¡substantial¡¡notice£»¡¡viz¡££»¡¡an¡¡invitation¡¡to¡¡dine¡¡at¡¡Guildhall¡¡annually¡¡on¡¡Lord¡¡Mayor's¡¡day¡£
The¡¡bear¡skins¡¡I¡¡sent¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Empress¡¡of¡¡Russia£»¡¡to¡¡clothe¡¡her¡¡majesty¡¡and¡¡her¡¡court¡¡in¡¡the¡¡winter£»¡¡for¡¡which¡¡she¡¡wrote¡¡me¡¡a¡¡letter¡¡of¡¡thanks¡¡with¡¡her¡¡own¡¡hand£»¡¡and¡¡sent¡¡it¡¡by¡¡an¡¡ambassador¡¡extraordinary£»¡¡inviting¡¡me¡¡to¡¡share¡¡the¡¡honours¡¡of¡¡her¡¡crown£»¡¡but¡¡as¡¡I¡¡never¡¡was¡¡ambitious¡¡of¡¡royal¡¡dignity£»¡¡I¡¡declined¡¡her¡¡majesty's¡¡favour¡¡in¡¡the¡¡politest¡¡terms¡£¡¡The¡¡same¡¡ambassador¡¡had¡¡orders¡¡to¡¡wait¡¡and¡¡bring¡¡my¡¡answer¡¡to¡¡her¡¡majesty¡¡/personally/£»¡¡upon¡¡which¡¡business¡¡he¡¡was¡¡absent¡¡about¡¡three¡¡months£º¡¡her¡¡majesty's¡¡reply¡¡convinced¡¡me¡¡of¡¡the¡¡strength¡¡of¡¡her¡¡affections£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡dignity¡¡of¡¡her¡¡mind£»¡¡her¡¡late¡¡indisposition¡¡was¡¡entirely¡¡owing¡¡£¨as¡¡she£»¡¡kind¡¡creature£¡¡¡was¡¡pleased¡¡to¡¡express¡¡herself¡¡in¡¡a¡¡late¡¡conversation¡¡with¡¡the¡¡Prince¡¡Dolgoroucki£©¡¡to¡¡my¡¡cruelty¡£¡¡What¡¡the¡¡sex¡¡see¡¡in¡¡me¡¡I¡¡cannot¡¡conceive£»¡¡but¡¡the¡¡Empress¡¡is¡¡not¡¡the¡¡only¡¡female¡¡sovereign¡¡who¡¡has¡¡offered¡¡me¡¡her¡¡hand¡£
Some¡¡people¡¡have¡¡very¡¡illiberally¡¡reported¡¡that¡¡Captain¡¡Phipps¡¡did¡¡not¡¡proceed¡¡as¡¡far¡¡as¡¡he¡¡might¡¡have¡¡done¡¡upon¡¡that¡¡expedition¡£¡¡Here¡¡it¡¡becomes¡¡my¡¡duty¡¡to¡¡acquit¡¡him£»¡¡our¡¡ship¡¡was¡¡in¡¡a¡¡very¡¡proper¡¡trim¡¡till¡¡I¡¡loaded¡¡it¡¡with¡¡such¡¡an¡¡immense¡¡quantity¡¡of¡¡bear¡skins¡¡and¡¡hams£»¡¡after¡¡which¡¡it¡¡would¡¡have¡¡been¡¡madness¡¡to¡¡have¡¡attempted¡¡to¡¡proceed¡¡further£»¡¡as¡¡we¡¡were¡¡now¡¡scarcely¡¡able¡¡to¡¡combat¡¡a¡¡brisk¡¡gale£»¡¡much¡¡less¡¡those¡¡mountains¡¡of¡¡ice¡¡which¡¡lay¡¡in¡¡the¡¡higher¡¡latitudes¡£
The¡¡captain¡¡has¡¡since¡¡often¡¡expressed¡¡a¡¡dissatisfaction¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡no¡¡share¡¡in¡¡the¡¡honours¡¡of¡¡that¡¡day£»¡¡which¡¡he¡¡emphatically¡¡called¡¡/bear¡¡¡skin¡¡day/¡£¡¡He¡¡has¡¡also¡¡been¡¡very¡¡desirous¡¡of¡¡knowing¡¡by¡¡what¡¡art¡¡I¡¡destroyed¡¡so¡¡many¡¡thousands£»¡¡without¡¡fatigue¡¡or¡¡danger¡¡to¡¡myself£»¡¡indeed£»¡¡he¡¡is¡¡so¡¡ambitious¡¡of¡¡dividing¡¡the¡¡glory¡¡with¡¡me£»¡¡that¡¡we¡¡have¡¡actually¡¡quarrelled¡¡about¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡we¡¡are¡¡not¡¡now¡¡upon¡¡speaking¡¡terms¡£¡¡He¡¡boldly¡¡asserts¡¡I¡¡had¡¡no¡¡merit¡¡in¡¡deceiving¡¡the¡¡bears£»¡¡because¡¡I¡¡was¡¡covered¡¡with¡¡one¡¡of¡¡their¡¡skins£»¡¡nay£»¡¡he¡¡declares¡¡there¡¡is¡¡not£»¡¡in¡¡his¡¡opinion£»¡¡in¡¡Europe£»¡¡so¡¡complete¡¡a¡¡bear¡¡naturally¡¡as¡¡himself¡¡among¡¡the¡¡human¡¡species¡£
He¡¡is¡¡now¡¡a¡¡noble¡¡peer£»¡¡and¡¡I¡¡am¡¡too¡¡well¡¡acquainted¡¡with¡¡good¡¡manners¡¡to¡¡dispute¡¡so¡¡delicate¡¡a¡¡point¡¡with¡¡his¡¡lordship¡£
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡CHAPTER¡¡XIV
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