the surprising adventures of baron munchausen-第13章
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neral； as most men would do； quitted the room directly； but I took it up before it burst； and carried it to the top of the rock； when； looking over the enemy's camp； on an eminence near the sea…coast I observed a considerable number of people； but could not； with my naked eye； discover how they were employed。 I had recourse again to my telescope； when I found that two of our officers； one a general； the other a colonel； with whom I spent the preceding evening； and who went out into the enemy's camp about midnight as spies； were taken； and then were actually going to be executed on a gibbet。 I found the distance too great to throw the shell with my hand； but most fortunately recollecting that I had the very sling in my pocket which assisted David in slaying Goliath； I placed the shell in it； and immediately threw it in the midst of them： it burst as it fell； and destroyed all present； except the two culprits； who were saved by being suspended so high； for they were just turned off： however； one of the pieces of the shell fled with such force against the foot of the gibbet； that it immediately brought it down。 Our two friends no sooner felt /terra firma/ than they looked about for the cause； and finding their guards； executioner； and all； had taken it in their heads to die first； they directly extricated each other from their disgraceful cords； and then ran down to the sea…shore； seized a Spanish boat with two men in it； and made them row to one of our ships； which they did with great safety； and in a few minutes after； when I was relating to General Elliot how I had acted； they both took us by the hand； and after mutual congratulations we retired to spend the day with festivity。
CHAPTER XI
/An interesting account of the Baron's ancestorsA quarrel relative to the spot where Noah built his arkThe history of the sling； and its propertiesA favourite poet introduced upon no very reputable occasionqueen Elizabeth's abstinenceThe Baron's father crosses from England to Holland upon a marine horse； which he sells for seven hundred ducats。/
You wish （I can see by your countenances） I would inform you how I became possessed of such a treasure as the sling just mentioned。 （Here facts must be held sacred。） Thus then it was： I am a descendant of the wife of Uriah； whom we all know David was intimate with； she had several children by his majesty； they quarrelled once upon a matter of the first consequence； viz。； the spot where Noah's ark was built； and where it rested after the flood。 A separation consequently ensued。 She had often heard him speak of this sling as his most valuable treasure： this she stole the night they parted； it was missed before she got out of his dominions； and she was pursued by no less than six of the king's body…guards： however； by using it herself she hit the first of them （for one was more active in the pursuit than the rest） where David did Goliath； and killed him on the spot。 His companions were so alarmed at his fall that they retired； and left Uriah's wife to pursue her journey。 She took with her； I should have informed you before； her favourite son by this connection； to whom she bequeathed the sling； and thus it has； without interruption； descended from father to son till it came into my possession。 One of its possessors； my great… great…great…grandfather； who lived about two hundred and fifty years ago； was upon a visit to England； and became intimate with a poet who was a great deer…stealer； I think his name was Shakespeare： he frequently borrowed this sling； and with it killed so much of Sir Thomas Lucy's venison； that he narrowly escaped the fate of my two friends at Gibraltar。 Poor Shakespeare was imprisoned； and my ancestor obtained his freedom in a very singular manner。 Queen Elizabeth was then on the throne； but grown so indolent； that every trifling matter was a trouble to her； dressing； undressing； eating； drinking； and some other offices which shall be nameless； made life a burden to her； all these things he enabled her to do without； or by a deputy！ and what do you think was the only return she could prevail upon him to accept for such eminent services？ setting Shakespeare at liberty！ Such was his affection for that famous writer； that he would have shortened his own days to add to the number of his friend's。
I do not hear that any of the queen's subjects； particularly the /beef…eaters/； as they are vulgarly called to this day； however they might be struck with the novelty at the time； much approved of her living totally without food。 She did not survive the practice herself above seven years and a half。
My father； who was the immediate possessor of this sling before me； told me the following anecdote：
He was walking by the sea…shore at Harwich； with this sling in his pocket； before his paces had covered a mile he was attacked by a fierce animal called a seahorse； open…mouthed； who ran at him with great fury； he hesitated a moment； then took out his sling； retreated back about a hundred yards； stooped for a couple of pebbles； of which there were plenty under his feet； and slung them both so dexterously at the animal； that each stone put out an eye； and lodged in the cavities which their removal had occasioned。 He now got upon his back； and drove him into the sea； for the moment he lost his sight he lost also ferocity； and became as tame as possible： the sling was placed as a bridle in his mouth； he was guided with the greatest facility across the ocean； and in less than three hours they both arrived on the opposite shore； which is about thirty leagues。 The master of the /Three Cups/； at Helvoetsluys； in Holland； purchased this marine horse； to make an exhibition of； for seven hundred ducats； which was upwards of three hundred pounds； and the next day my father paid his passage back in the packet to Harwich。
/My father made several curious observations in this passage； which I will relate hereafter。/
CHAPTER XII
/The frolic； its consequencesWindsor CastleSt。 Paul'sCollege of PhysiciansUndertakers； sextons； &c。； almost ruinedIndustry of the apothecaries。/
THE FROLIC。
This famous sling makes the possessor equal to any task he is desirous of performing。
I made a balloon of such extensive dimensions； that an account of the silk it contained would exceed all credibility； every mercer's shop and weaver's stock in London； Westminster； and Spitalfields contributed to it： with this balloon and my sling I played many tricks； such as taking one house from its station； and placing another in its stead； without disturbing the inhabitants； who were generally asleep； or too much employed to observe the peregrinations of their habitations。 When the sentinel at Windsor Castle heard St。 Paul's clock strike thirteen； it was through my dexterity； I brought the buildings nearly together that night； by placing the castle in St。 George's Fields； and carried it back again before daylight； without waking any of the inhabitants； notwithstanding these exploits； I should have kept my balloon； and its properties a secret； if Montgolfier had not made the art of flying so public。
On the 30th of September； when the College of Physicians chose their annual officers； and dined sumptuously together； I filled my balloon； brought it over the dome of their building； clapped the sling round the golden ball at the top； fastening the other end of it to the balloon； and immediately ascended with the whole college to an immense height； where I kept them upwards of three months。 You will naturally inquire what they did for food such a length of time？ To this I answer； Had I kept them suspended twice the time； they would have experienced no inconvenience on that account； so amply； or rather extravagantly； had they spread their table for that day's feasting。
Though this was meant as an innocent frolic； it was productive of much mischief to several respectable characters amongst the clergy； undertakers； sextons； and grave…diggers： they were； it must be acknowledged； sufferers； for it is a well…known fact； that during the three months the college was suspended in the air； and therefore incapable of at
