paz-第14章
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persons do in the tropics; a vapor laden with creative principles。
〃I MUST tell you these things to explain the strange presumption
of my involuntary thoughts;I would have died rather than avow it
until now。
〃You will remember those few days of curiosity when you wished to
know the man who performed the household miracles you had
sometimes noticed。 I thought;forgive me; madame;I believed you
might love me。 Your good…will; your glances interpreted by me; a
lover; seemed to me so dangerousfor methat I invented that
story of Malaga; knowing it was the sort of liaison which women
cannot forgive。 I did it in a moment when I felt that my love
would be communicated; fatally; to you。 Despise me; crush me with
the contempt you have so often cast upon me when I did not deserve
it; and yet I am certain that; if; on that evening when your aunt
took Adam away from you; I had said what I have now written to
you; I should; like the tamed tiger that sets his teeth once more
in living flesh; and scents the blood; and
〃Midnight。
〃I could not go on; the memory of that hour is still too living。
Yes; I was maddened。 Was there hope for me in your eyes? then
victory with its scarlet banners would have flamed in mine and
fascinated yours。 My crime has been to think all this; perhaps
wrongly。 You alone can judge of that dreadful scene when I drove
back love; desire; all the most invincible forces of our manhood;
with the cold hand of gratitude;gratitude which must be eternal。
〃Your terrible contempt has been my punishment。 You have shown me
there is no return from loathing or disdain。 I love you madly。 I
should have gone had Adam died; all the more must I go because he
lives。 A man does not tear his friend from the arms of death to
betray him。 Besides; my going is my punishment for the thought
that came to me that I would let him die; when the doctors said
that his life depended on his nursing。
〃Adieu; madame; in leaving Paris I lose all; but you lose nothing
now in my being no longer near you。
〃Your devoted
〃Thaddeus Paz。〃
〃If my poor Adam says he has lost a friend; what have I lost?〃 thought
Clementine; sinking into a chair with her eyes fixed on the carpet。
The following letter Constantin had orders to give privately to the
count:
〃My dear Adam;Malaga has told me all。 In the name of all your
future happiness; never let a word escape you to Clementine about
your visits to that girl; let her think that Malaga has cost me a
hundred thousand francs。 I know Clementine's character; she will
never forgive you either your losses at cards or your visits to
Malaga。
〃I am not going to Khiva; but to the Caucasus。 I have the spleen;
and at the pace at which I mean to go I shall be either Prince Paz
in three years; or dead。 Good…by; though I have taken sixty…
thousand francs from Nucingen; our accounts are even。
〃Thaddeus。〃
〃Idiot that I was;〃 thought Adam; 〃I came near to cutting my throat
just now; talking about Malaga。〃
It is now three years since Paz went away。 The newspapers have as yet
said nothing about any Prince Paz。 The Comtesse Laginska is immensely
interested in the expeditions of the Emperor Nicholas; she is Russian
to the core; and reads with a sort of avidity all the news that comes
from that distant land。 Once or twice every winter she says to the
Russian ambassador; with an air of indifference; 〃Do you know what has
become of our poor Comte Paz?〃
Alas! most Parisian women; those beings who think themselves so clever
and clear…sighted; pass and repass beside a Paz and never recognize
him。 Yes; many a Paz is unknown and misconceived; buthorrible to
think of!some are misconceived even though they are loved。 The
simplest women in society exact a certain amount of conventional sham
from the greatest men。 A noble love signifies nothing to them if rough
and unpolished; it needs the cutting and setting of a jeweller to give
it value in their eyes。
In January; 1842; the Comtesse Laginska; with her charm of gentle
melancholy; inspired a violent passion in the Comte de La Palferine;
one of the most daring and presumptuous lions of the day。 La Palferine
was well aware that the conquest of a woman so guarded by reserve as
the Comtesse Laginska was difficult; but he thought he could inveigle
this charming creature into committing herself if he took her
unawares; by the assistance of a certain friend of her own; a woman
already jealous of her。
Quite incapable; in spite of her intelligence; of suspecting such
treachery; the Comtesse Laginska committed the imprudence of going
with her so…called friend to a masked ball at the Opera。 About three
in the morning; led away by the excitement of the scene; Clementine;
on whom La Palferine had expended his seductions; consented to accept
a supper; and was about to enter the carriage of her faithless friend。
At this critical moment her arm was grasped by a powerful hand; and
she was taken; in spite of her struggles; to her own carriage; the
door of which stood open; though she did not know it was there。
〃He has never left Paris!〃 she exclaimed to herself as she recognized
Thaddeus; who disappeared when the carriage drove away。
Did any woman ever have a like romance in her life? Clementine is
constantly hoping she may again see Paz。
End