paz-第13章

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death　in　his　heart；　his　care　of　the　count。　From　that　moment　he　said

nothing。　He　was　forced　to　struggle　with　the　patient；　whom　he　managed

in　a　way　that　excited　the　admiration　of　the　doctors。　At　all　hours　his

watchful　eyes　were　like　lamps　always　lighted。　He　showed　no　resentment

to　Clementine；　and　listened　to　her　thanks　without　accepting　them；　he

seemed　both　dumb　and　deaf。　To　himself　he　was　saying；　〃She　shall　owe

his　life　to　me；〃　and　he　wrote　the　thought　as　it　were　in　letters　of

fire　on　the　walls　of　Adam's　room。　On　the　fifteenth　day　Clementine　was

forced　to　give　up　the　nursing；　lest　she　should　utterly　break　down。　Paz

was　unwearied。　At　last；　towards　the　end　of　August；　Bianchon；　the

family　physician；　told　Clementine　that　Adam　was　out　of　danger。



〃Ah；　madame；　you　are　under　no　obligation　to　me；〃　he　said；　〃without　his

friend；　Comte　Paz；　we　could　not　have　saved　him。〃



The　day　after　the　meeting　of　Paz　and　Clementine　in　the　kiosk；　the

Marquis　de　Ronquerolles　came　to　see　his　nephew。　He　was　on　the　eve　of

starting　for　Russia　on　a　secret　diplomatic　mission。　Paz　took　occasion

to　say　a　few　words　to　him。　The　first　day　that　Adam　was　able　to　drive

out　with　his　wife　and　Thaddeus；　a　gentleman　entered　the　courtyard　as

the　carriage　was　about　to　leave　it；　and　asked　for　Comte　Paz。　Thaddeus；

who　was　sitting　on　the　front　seat　of　the　caleche；　turned　to　take　a

letter　which　bore　the　stamp　of　the　ministry　of　Foreign　affairs。　Having

read　it；　he　put　it　into　his　pocket　in　a　manner　which　prevented

Clementine　or　Adam　from　speaking　of　it。　Nevertheless；　by　the　time　they

reached　the　porte　Maillot；　Adam；　full　of　curiosity；　used　the　privilege

of　a　sick　man　whose　caprices　are　to　be　gratified；　and　said　to

Thaddeus：　〃There's　no　indiscretion　between　brothers　who　love　each

other；tell　me　what　there　is　in　that　despatch；　I'm　in　a　fever　of

curiosity。〃



Clementine　glanced　at　Thaddeus　with　a　vexed　air；　and　remarked　to　her

husband：　〃He　has　been　so　sulky　with　me　for　the　last　two　months　that　I

shall　never　ask　him　anything　again。〃



〃Oh；　as　for　that；〃　replied　Paz；　〃I　can't　keep　it　out　of　the

newspapers；　so　I　may　as　well　tell　you　at　once。　The　Emperor　Nicholas

has　had　the　grace　to　appoint　me　captain　in　a　regiment　which　is　to　take

part　in　the　expedition　to　Khiva。〃



〃You　are　not　going？〃　cried　Adam。



〃Yes；　I　shall　go；　my　dear　fellow。　Captain　I　came；　and　captain　I

return。　We　shall　dine　together　to…morrow　for　the　last　time。　If　I　don't

start　at　once　for　St。　Petersburg　I　shall　have　to　make　the　journey　by

land；　and　I　am　not　rich；　and　I　must　leave　Malaga　a　little

independence。　I　ought　to　think　of　the　only　woman　who　has　been　able　to

understand　me；　she　thinks　me　grand；　superior。　I　dare　say　she　is

faithless；　but　she　would　jump〃



〃Through　the　hoop；　for　your　sake　and　come　down　safely　on　the　back　of

her　horse；〃　said　Clementine　sharply。



〃Oh；　you　don't　know　Malaga；〃　said　the　captain；　bitterly；　with　a

sarcastic　look　in　his　eyes　which　made　Clementine　thoughtful　and

uneasy。



〃Good…by　to　the　young　trees　of　this　beautiful　Bois；　which　you

Parisians　love；　and　the　exiles　who　find　a　home　here　love　too；〃　he

said；　presently。　〃My　eyes　will　never　again　see　the　evergreens　of　the

avenue　de　Mademoiselle；　nor　the　acacias　nor　the　cedars　of　the　rond…

points。　On　the　borders　of　Asia；　fighting　for　the　Emperor；　promoted　to

the　command；　perhaps；　by　force　of　courage　and　by　risking　my　life；　it

may　happen　that　I　shall　regret　these　Champs…Elysees　where　I　have

driven　beside　you；　and　where　you　pass。　Yes；　I　shall　grieve　for

Malaga's　hardnessthe　Malaga　of　whom　I　am　now　speaking。〃



This　was　said　in　a　manner　that　made　Clementine　tremble。



〃Then　you　do　love　Malaga　very　much？〃　she　asked。



〃I　have　sacrificed　for　her　the　honor　that　no　man　should　ever

sacrifice。〃



〃What　honor？〃



〃That　which　we　desire　to　keep　at　any　cost　in　the　eyes　of　our　idol。〃



After　that　reply　Thaddeus　said　no　more；　he　was　silent　until；　as　they

passed　a　wooden　building　on　the　Champs　Elysees；　he　said；　pointing　to

it；　〃That　is　the　Circus。〃



He　went　to　the　Russian　Embassy　before　dinner；　and　thence　to　the

Foreign　office；　and　the　next　morning　he　had　started　for　Havre　before

the　count　and　countess　were　up。



〃I　have　lost　a　friend；〃　said　Adam；　with　tears　in　his　eyes；　when　he

heard　that　Paz　had　gone；〃a　friend　in　the　true　meaning　of　the　word。　I

don't　know　what　has　made　him　abandon　me　as　if　a　pestilence　were　in　my

house。　We　are　not　friends　to　quarrel　about　a　woman；〃　he　said；　looking

intently　at　Clementine。　〃You　heard　what　he　said　yesterday　about

Malaga。　Well；　he　has　never　so　much　as　touched　the　little　finger　of

that　girl。〃



〃How　do　you　know　that？〃　said　Clementine。



〃I　had　the　natural　curiosity　to　go　and　see　Mademoiselle　Turquet；　and

the　poor　girl　can't　explain　even　to　herself　the　absolute　reserve　which

Thad〃



〃Enough！〃　said　the　countess；　retreating　into　her　bedroom。　〃Can　it　be

that　I　am　the　victim　of　some　noble　mystification？〃　she　asked　herself。

The　thought　had　hardly　crossed　her　mind　when　Constantin　brought　her

the　following　letter　written　by　Thaddeus　during　the　night：



　　〃Countess；To　seek　death　in　the　Caucasus　and　carry　with　me　your

　　contempt　is　more　than　I　can　bear。　A　man　should　die　untainted。　When

　　I　saw　you　for　the　first　time　I　loved　you　as　we　love　a　woman　whom

　　we　shall　love　forever；　even　though　she　be　unfaithful　to　us。　I

　　loved　you　thus；I；　the　friend　of　the　man　you　had　chosen　and　were

　　about　to　marry；　I；　poor；　I；　the　steward；a　voluntary　service；　but

　　still　the　steward　of　your　household。



　　〃In　this　immense　misfortune　I　found　a　happy　life。　To　be　to　you　an

　　indispensable　machine；　to　know　myself　useful　to　your　comfort；　your

　　luxury；　has　been　the　source　of　deep　enjoyments。　If　these

　　enjoyments　were　great　when　I　thought　only　of　Adam；　think　what　they

　　were　to　my　soul　when　the　woman　I　loved　was　the　mainspring　of　all　I

　　did。　I　have　known　the　pleasures　of　maternity　in　my　love。　I

　　accepted　life　thus。　Like　the　paupers　who　live　along　the　great

　　highways；　I　built　myself　a　hut　on　the　borders　of　your　beautiful

　　domain；　though　I　never　sought　to　approach　you。　Poor　and　lonely；

　　struck　blind　by　Adam's　good　fortune；　I　was；　nevertheless；　the

　　giver。　Yes；　you　were　surrounded　by　a　love　as　pure　as　a　guardian…

　　angel's；　it　waked　while　you　slept；　it　caressed　you　with　a　look　as

　　you　passed；　it　was　happy　in　its　own　existence；you　were　the　sun

　　of　my　native　land　to　me；　poor　exile；　who　now　writes　to　you　with

　　tears　in　his　eyes　as　he　thinks　of　the　happiness　of　those　first

　　days。



　　〃When　I　was　eighteen　years　old；　having　no　one　to　love；　I　took　for

　　my　ideal　mistress　a　charming　woman　in　Warsaw；　to　whom　I　confided

　　all　my　thoughts；　my　wishes；　I　made　her　the　queen　of　my　nights　and

　　days。　She　knew　nothing　of　all　this；　why　should　she？　I　loved　my

　　love。



　　〃You　can　fancy　from　this　incident　of　my　youth　how　happy　I　was

　　merely　to　live　in　the　sphere　of　your　existence；　to　groom　your

　　horse；　to　find　the　new…coined　gold　for　your　purse；　to　prepare　the

　　splendor　of　your　dinners　and　your　balls；　to　see　you　eclipsing　the

　　elegance　of　those　whose　fortunes　were　greater　than　yours；　and　all

　　by　my　own　good　management。　Ah！　with　what　ardor　I　have　ransacked

　　Paris　when　Adam　would　say　to　me；　'SHE　wants　this　or　that。'　It　was

　　a　joy　such　as　I　can　never　express　to　you。　You　wished　for　a　trifle

　　at　one　time　which　kept　me　seven　hours　in　a　cab　scouring　the　city；

　　and　what　delight　it　was　to　weary　myself　for　you。　Ah！　when　I　saw

　　you；　unseen　by　you；　smiling　among　your　flowers；　I　could　forget

　　that　no　one　loved　me。　On　certain　days；　when　my　happiness　turned　my

　　head；　I　went　at　night　and　kissed　the　spot　where；　to　me；　your　feet

　　had　left　their　luminous　traces。　The　air　you　had　breathed　was

　　balmy；　in　it　I　breathed　in　more　of　life；　I　inhaled；　as　they　say

　　persons　do　in　the　tropics；　a　vapor　laden　with　creative　principles。



　　〃I　MUST　tell　you　these　things　to　explai