lavender and old lace-第30章

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I　have　thought；　for　hours；　of　the　things　we　would　say　to　each　other　when　the　long　years　were　over　and　we　were　together　again。　I　have　dressed　for　his　eyes　alone；　and　loved　himperhaps　you　know〃

〃I　know；　Miss　Ainslie；〃　said　Ruth；　softly；　her　own　love　surging　in　her　heart；　〃I　know。〃

〃He　loved　me；　Ruth；〃　she　said；　lingering　upon　the　words；　〃as　man　never　loved　before。　In　all　of　God's　great　universe；　there　was　never　anything　like　thateven　in　Heaven；　there　can't　be　anything　so　beautiful；　though　we　have　to　know　human　love　before　we　can　understand　God's。　All　day；　I　have　dreamed　of　our　little　home　together；　and　at　night；　sometimesof　baby　lips　against　my　breast。　I　could　always　see　him　plainly；　but　I　never　could　see　ourour　child。　I　have　missed　that。　I　have　had　more　happiness　than　comes　to　most　women；　but　that　has　been　denied　me。〃

She　leaned　back　in　her　chair　and　closed　her　eyes。　Her　lips　were　white　and　quivering；　but　there　were　no　tears。　At　length　she　sat　upright　and　fixed　her　eyes　upon　Ruth。

〃Don't　be　afraid　of　anything；〃　she　said　in　a　strange　tone；　〃poverty　or　sickness　or　death；　or　any　suffering　God　will　let　you　bear　together。　That　isn't　loveto　be　afraid。　There's　only　one　thingthe　years！　Oh；　God；　the　bitter；　cruel；　endless　years！〃

Miss　Ainslie　caught　her　breath　and　it　sounded　like　a　sob；　but　she　bravely　kept　it　back。　〃I　have　been　happy；〃　she　said；　in　pitiful　triumph；　〃I　promised　him　that　I　would　be；　and　I　have　kept　my　word。　Sometimes　it　was　hard；　but　I　had　my　dream。　Lately；　this　last　year；　I　have　often　been　afraid　thatthat　something　had　happened。　Thirty…three　years；　and　you　know；　dear；〃　she　added；　with　a　quaint　primness；　〃that　I　am　a　woman　of　the　world。〃

〃In　the　world；　but　not　of　it；〃　was　on　Ruth's　lips；　but　she　did　not　say　it。

〃Still；　I　know　it　was　wrong　to　doubt　himI　couldn't；　when　I　thought　of　our　last　hour　together；　out　on　the　hill　in　the　moonlight。　He　said　it　was　conceivable　that　life　might　keep　him　from　me；　but　death　never　could。　He　told　me　that　if　he　died；　I　would　know；　that　he　would　come　and　tell　me；　and　that　in　a　little　while　afterward；　we　should　be　together。〃

The　dying　embers　cast　a　glow　upon　her　face。　It　was　almost　waxen　in　its　purity；　she　seemed　transfigured　with　the　light　of　another　world。　　　〃Last　night；　he　came　to　mein　a　dream。　He　is　deadhe　has　been　dead　for　a　long　time。　He　was　trying　to　explain　something　to　meI　suppose　he　was　trying　to　tell　me　why　he　had　not　come　before。　He　was　oldan　old　man；　Ruth；　and　I　have　always　thought　of　him　as　young。　He　could　not　say　anything　but　my　name'MaryAbbyMary　Abby'　over　and　over　again；　and；　once；　'mother。'　I　was　christened　'Mary　Abigail；'　but　I　never　liked　the　middle　name；　so　I　dropped　it；　and　he　used　to　tease　me　sometimes　by　calling　me　'Abby。'　Andfrom　his　saying　'mother；'　I　know　that　he；　too；　wherever　he　may　be；　has　had　that　dream　of　of　our　child。〃

Ruth　was　cold　from　head　to　foot；　and　her　senses　reeled。　Every　word　that　Winfield　had　said　in　the　morning　sounded　again　in　her　ears。　What　was　it　that　went　on　around　her；　of　which　she　had　no　ken？　It　seemed　as　though　she　stood　absolutely　alone；　in　endless　space；　while　planets　swept　past；　out　of　their　orbits；　with　all　the　laws　of　force　set　suddenly　aside。

Miss　Ainslie　felt　her　shuddering　fear。　〃Don't　be　afraid；　dear；〃　she　said　again；　〃everything　is　right。　I　kept　my　promise；　and　he　kept　his。　He　is　sufferinghe　is　very　lonely　without　me；　but　in　a　little　while　we　shall　be　together。〃

The　fire　died　out　and　left　the　room　in　darkness；　broken　only　by　the　last　fitful　glow。　Ruth　could　not　speak；　and　Miss　Ainslie　sat　quietly　in　her　chair。　〃Come；〃　she　said　at　last；　stretching　out　her　hand；　〃let's　go　upstairs。　I　have　kept　you　up；　deary；　and　I　know　you　must　be　very　tired。〃

The　house　seemed　filled　with　a　shadowy　presencesomething　intangible；　but　portentous；　for　both　good　and　ill。　Ruth　took　down　the　heavy　mass　of　white　hair　and　brushed　it　back；　tying　it　at　the　neck　with　a　ribbon；　in　girlish　fashion；　as　Miss　Ainslie　always　did。　Her　night　gown；　of　sheerest　linen；　was　heavy　with　Valenciennes　lace；　and　where　it　fell　back　from　her　throat；　it　revealed　the　flesh；　exquisitely　white；　set　in　gracious　curves　and　womanly　softness；　as　if　by　a　sculptor　who　loved　his　clay。

The　sweet；　wholesome　scent　of　the　lavender　flowers　breathed　from　the　folds　of　Miss　Ainslie's　gown；　as　she　stood　there　in　the　candle　light；　smiling；　with　the　unearthly　glow　still　upon　her　face。

〃Good　night；　deary；〃　she　said；　〃you'll　kiss　me；　won't　you？〃

For　a　moment　the　girl's　face　was　buried　among　Miss　Ainslie's　laces；　then　their　lips　met。　Ruth　was　trembling　and　she　hurried　away；　swallowing　the　lump　in　her　throat　and　trying　to　keep　back　the　tears。

The　doors　were　open；　and　there　was　no　sound　save　Miss　Ainslie's　deep　breathing；　but　Ruth　kept　a　dreary　vigil　till　almost　dawn。



XVI。　Some　One　Who　Loved　Her

The　summer　waned　and　each　day；　as　it　slipped　away；　took　a　little　of　Miss　Ainslie's　strength　with　it。　There　was　neither　disease　nor　painit　was　simply　a　letting　go。　Carl　sent　to　the　city　for　a　physician　of　wide　repute；　but　he　shook　his　head。　〃There's　nothing　the　matter　with　her；〃　he　said；　〃but　she　doesn't　want　to　live。　Just　keep　her　as　happy　as　you　can。〃

For　a　time　she　went　about　the　house　as　usual；　but；　gradually；　more　and　more　of　her　duties　fell　to　Ruth。　Hepsey　came　in　every　day　after　breakfast；　and　again　in　the　late　afternoon。

Ruth　tried　to　get　her　to　go　out　for　a　drive；　but　she　refused。　〃No；　deary；〃　she　said；　smiling；　〃I've　never　been　away；　and　I'm　too　old　to　begin　now。〃　Neighbours；　hearing　of　her　illness；　came　to　offer　sympathy　and　help；　but　she　would　see　none　of　themnot　even　Aunt　Jane。

One　night；　she　sat　at　the　head　of　the　table　as　usual；　for　she　would　not　surrender　her　place　as　hostess；　even　though　she　ate　nothing；　and　afterward　a　great　weakness　came　upon　her。　〃I　don't　know　how　I'll　ever　get　upstairs；〃　she　said；　frightened；　〃it　seems　such　a　long　way！〃

Winfield　took　her　in　his　arms　and　carried　her　up；　as　gently　and　easily　as　if　she　had　been　a　child。　Her　cheeks　were　flushed　and　her　eyes　bright　when　he　put　her　down。　〃I　never　thought　it　would　be　so　easy；〃　she　said；　in　answer　to　his　question。　〃You'll　stay　with　me；　won't　you；　Carl？　I　don't　want　you　to　go　away。〃

〃I'll　stay　as　long　as　you　want　me；　Miss　Ainslie；　and　Ruth　will；　too。　We　couldn't　do　too　much　for　you。〃

That　night；　as　they　sat　in　front　of　the　fire；　while　Miss　Ainslie　slept　upstairs；　Ruth　told　him　what　she　had　said　about　leaving　him　the　house　and　the　little　income　and　giving　her　the　beautiful　things　in　the　house。

〃Bless　her　sweet　heart；〃　he　said　tenderly；　〃we　don't　want　her　thingswe'd　rather　have　her。〃

〃Indeed　we　would；〃　she　answered　quickly。

Until　the　middle　of　September　she　went　back　and　forth　from　her　own　room　to　the　sitting…room　with　comparative　ease。　They　took　turns　bringing　dainties　to　tempt　her　appetite；　but；　though　she　ate　a　little　of　everything　and　praised　it　warmly；　especially　if　Ruth　had　made　it；　she　did　it；　evidently；　only　out　of　consideration　for　them。

She　read　a　little；　talked　a　little；　and　slept　a　great　deal。　One　day　she　asked　Carl　to　pull　the　heavy　sandal　wood　chest　over　near　her　chair；　and　give　her　the　key；　which　hung　behind　a　picture。

〃Will　you　please　go　away　now；〃　she　asked；　with　a　winning　smile；　〃for　just　a　little　while？〃

He　put　the　bell　on　a　table　within　her　reach　and　asked　her　to　ring　if　she　wanted　anything。　The　hours　went　by　and　there　was　no　sound。　At　last　he　went　up；　very　quietly；　and　found　her　asleep。　The　chest　was　locked　and　the　key　was　not　to　be　found。　He　did　not　know　whether　she　had　opened　it　or　not；　but　she　let　him　put　it　in　its　place　again；　without　a　word。

Sometimes　they　read　to　her；　and　she　listened　patiently；　occasionally　asking　a　question；　but　more　often　falling　asleep。

〃I　wish；〃　she　said　one　day；　when　she　was　alone　with　Carl；　〃that　I　could　hear　something　you　had　written。〃

〃Why；　Miss　Ainslie；〃　he　exclaimed；　in　astonishment；　〃you　wouldn't　be　interested　in　the　things　I　writeit's　only　newspaper　stuff。〃

〃Yes；　I　would；〃　she　answered　softly；　〃yes；　I　would。〃

Something　in　the　way　she　said　it　brought　the　mist　to　his　eyes。

She　liked　to　have　Ruth　brush　her　hair；　but　her　greatest　delight　was　in　hearing　Winfield　talk　about　her　treasures。