lavender and old lace-第29章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


eams。　I　can't　bear　it；　Ruth！〃

He　shuddered；　and　she　tried　to　comfort　him；　though　she　was　cold　as　a　marble　statue　and　her　lips　moved　with　difficulty。　〃Don't；　dear；〃　she　said；　〃It　was　only　a　dream。　I've　had　them　sometimes；　so　vividly　that　they　haunted　me　for　days　and；　as　you　say；　it　seemed　as　if　that　was　the　real　world　and　this　the　dream。　I　know　how　you　feelthose　things　aren't　pleasant；　but　there's　nothing　we　can　do。　It　makes　one　feel　so　helpless。　The　affairs　of　the　day　are　largely　under　our　control；　but　at　night；　when　the　body　is　asleep；　the　mind　harks　back　to　things　that　have　been　forgotten　for　years。　It　takes　a　fevered　fancy　as　a　fact；　and　builds　upon　it　a　whole　series　of　disasters。　It　gives　trivial　things　great　signif！cance　and　turns　life　upside　down。　Remembering　it　is　the　worst　of　all。〃

〃There's　something　I　can't　get　at；　Ruth；〃　he　answered。　〃It's　just　out　of　my　reach。　I　know　it's　reasonable　to　suppose　it　was　a　dream　and　that　it　can　be　explained　by　natural　causes；　but　I　don't　dream　very　often。〃

〃I　dream　every　night；〃　she　said。　〃Sometimes　they're　just　silly；　foolish　things　and　sometimes　they're　vivid　and　horrible　realities　that　I　can't　forget　for　weeks。　But；　surely；　dear；　we're　not　foolish　enough　to　believe　in　dreams？〃

〃No；　I　hope　not；〃　he　replied；　doubtfully。

〃Let's　go　for　a　little　walk；〃　she　said；　〃and　we'll　forget　it。〃

Then　she　told　him　how　changed　Miss　Ainslie　was　and　how　she　had　left　her；　sitting　aimlessly　by　the　window。　〃I　don't　think　I'd　better　stay　away　long；〃　she　concluded；　〃she　may　need　me。〃

〃I　won't　be　selfish；　Ruth；　we'll　go　back　now。　〃I'm　sorry　Miss　Ainslie　isn't　well。〃

〃She　said　she　was　'just　tired'　but　it　isn't　like　her　to　be　tired。　She　doesn't　seem　to　want　anybody　near　her；　but　you　can　sit　in　the　garden　this　afternoon；　if　you'd　like　to；　and　I'll　flit　in　and　out　like　an　industrious　butterfly。　Some　new　books　have　just　come；　and　I'll　leave　them　in　the　arbour　for　you。〃

〃All　right；　dear；　and　if　there's　anything　I　can　do；　I　hope　you'll　tell　me。〃

As　they　approached　the　house；　a　brisk　little　man　hurried　out　of　the　gate　and　went　toward　the　village。

〃Who's　that？〃　asked　Winfield。

〃I　don't　knowsome　one　who　has　brought　something；　probably。　I　trust　she's　better。〃

Miss　Ainslie　seemed　more　like　herself；　as　she　moved　about　the　house；　dusting　and　putting　the　rooms　in　order；　as　was　her　wont。　At　noon　she　fried　a　bit　of　chicken　for　Ruth；　but　took　nothing　herself　except　a　cup　of　tea。

〃No；　deary；〃　she　said；　in　answer　to　Ruth's　anxious　question；　〃I'm　all　rightdon't　fret　about　me。〃　　〃Have　you　any　pain；　Miss　Ainslie？〃

〃No；　of　course　I　haven't；　you　foolish　child！〃

She　tried　to　smile；　but　her　white　lips　quivered　pitifully。

In　the　afternoon；　when　she　said　she　was　cold；　Ruth　made　a　fire　in　the　open　fireplace；　and　wheeled　Miss　Ainslie's　favourite　chair　in　front　of　it。　She　drew　her　shawl　about　her　shoulders　and　leaned　back。

〃I'm　so　comfortable；　now；　she　said　drowsily；　〃I　think　I'm　going　to　sleep；　dear。〃

Ruth　sat　by　her；　pretending　to　read；　but；　in　reality；　watching　her　closely；　until　the　deep；　regular　breathing　assured　her　that　she　was　asleep。　She　went　out　into　the　garden　and　found　Winfield　in　the　arbour。

〃How's　this　patient？〃　she　asked；　kissing　him　lightly　on　the　forehead。

〃I'm　all　right；　dearest；〃　he　answered；　drawing　her　down　beside　him；　〃and　I'm　ashamed　of　myself　because　I　was　so　foolish。〃

During　the　afternoon　Ruth　made　frequent　trips　to　the　house；　each　time　finding　Miss　Ainslie　sound　asleep。　It　was　after　six　o'clock　when　she　woke　and　rubbed　her　eyes；　wonderingly。

〃How　long　have　I　been　asleep；　Ruth？〃

〃All　the　afternoon；　Miss　Ainsliedo　you　feel　better　now？〃

〃Yes；　I　think　I　do。　I　didn't　sleep　last　night；　but　it's　been　years　since　I've　taken　a　nap　in　the　daytime。〃

Ruth　invited　Carl　to　supper；　and　made　them　both　sit　still　while　she　prepared　the　simple　meal；　which；　as　he　said；　was　〃astonishingly　good。〃　He　was　quite　himself　again；　but　Miss　Ainslie；　though　trying　to　assume　her　old　manner；　had　undergone　a　great　change。

Carl　helped　Ruth　with　the　dishes；　saying　he　supposed　he　might　as　well　become　accustomed　to　it；　and；　feeling　the　need　of　s！eep；　went　home　very　early。

〃I'm　all　right；〃　he　said　to　Ruth；　as　he　kissed　her　at　the　door；　〃and　you're　just　the　sweetest　girl　in　the　world。　Good　night；　darling。〃

A　chill　mist　came　inland；　and　Ruth　kept　pine　knots　burning　in　the　fireplace。　They　sat　without　other　light；　Miss　Ainslie　with　her　head　resting　upon　her　hand；　and　Ruth　watching　her　narrowly。　Now　and　then　they　spoke　aimlessly；　of　commonplaces。

When　the　last　train　came　in；　Miss　Ainslie　raised　her　eyes　to　the　silver　candlestick　that　stood　on　the　mantel　and　sighed。

〃Shall　I　put　the　light　in　the　window？〃　asked　Ruth。

It　was　a　long　time　before　Miss　Ainslie　answered。

〃No；　deary；〃　she　said　sadly；　〃never　any　more。〃

She　was　trying　to　hide　her　suffering；　and　Ruth's　heart　ached　for　her　in　vain。　The　sound　of　the　train　died　away　in　the　distance　and　the　firelight　faded。

〃Ruth；〃　she　said；　in　a　low　voice；　〃I　am　going　away。〃

〃Away；　Miss　Ainslie？　Where？〃

〃I　don't　know；　dearit's　where　we　all　go'the　undiscovered　country　from　whose　bourne　no　traveller　returns。'　Sometimes　it's　a　long　journey　and　sometimes　a　short　one；　but　we　all　take　italoneat　the　last。〃

Ruth's　heart　throbbed　violently；　then　stood　still。

〃Don't！〃　she　cried；　sharply。

〃I'm　not　afraid；　dear；　and　I'm　ready　to　go；　even　though　you　have　made　me　so　happyyou　and　he。〃

Miss　Ainslie　waited　a　moment；　then　continued；　in　a　different　tone：

〃To…day　the　lawyer　came　and　made　my　will。　I　haven't　muchjust　this　little　house；　a　small　income　paid　semi…annually；　and　mymy　things。　All　my　things　are　for　youthe　house　and　the　income　are　forfor　him。〃

Ruth　was　crying　softly　and　Miss　Ainslie　went　to　her；　laying　her　hand　caressingly　upon　the　bowed　head。　〃Don't；　deary；〃　she　pleaded；　〃don't　be　unhappy。　I'm　not　afraid。　I'm　just　going　to　sleep；　that's　all；　to　wake　in　immortal　dawn。　I　want　you　and　him　to　have　my　things；　because　I　love　youbecause　I've　always　loved　you；　and　because　I　willeven　afterward。〃

Ruth　choked　down　her　sobs；　and　Miss　Ainslie　drew　her　chair　closer；　taking　the　girl's　cold　hand　in　hers。　That　touch；　so　strong　and　gentle；　that　had　always　brought　balm　to　her　troubled　spirit；　did　not　fail　in　its　ministry　now。

〃He　went　away；〃　said　Miss　Ainslie；　after　a　long　silence；　as　if　in　continuation　of　something　she　had　said　before；　〃and　I　was　afraid。　He　had　made　many　voyages　in　safety；　each　one　more　successful　than　the　last；　and　he　always　brought　me　beautiful　things；　but；　this　time；　I　knew　that　it　was　not　right　for　him　to　go。〃

〃When　he　came　back；　we　were　to　be　married。〃　The　firelight　shone　on　the　amethyst　ring　as　Miss　Ainslie　moved　it　on　her　finger。　　　〃He　said　that　he　would　have　no　way　of　writing　this　time；　but　that；　if　anything　happened；　I　would　know。　I　was　to　waitas　women　have　waited　since　the　world　began。

〃Oh；　Ruth；　do　you　know　what　waiting　means？　Mine　has　lasted　through　thirty…three　interminable　years。　Each　day；　I　have　said：　'he　will　come　to…morrow。'　When　the　last　train　came　in；　I　put　the　light　in　the　window　to　lead　him　straight　to　me。　Each　day；　I　have　made　the　house　ready　for　an　invited　guest　and　I　haven't　gone　away；　even　for　an　hour。　I　couldn't　bear　to　have　him　come　and　find　no　welcome　waiting；　and　I　have　always　worn　the　colour　he　loved。　When　people　have　come　to　see　me；　I've　always　been　afraid　they　would　stay　until　he　came；　except　with　youand　Carl。　I　was　glad　to　have　you　come　to　stay　with　me；　because；　lately；　I　have　thought　that　it　would　be　moremore　delicate　than　to　have　him　find　me　alone。　I　loved　you；　too；　dear；〃　she　added　quickly。


〃II　asked　your　aunt　to　keep　the　light　in　the　window。　I　never　told　her　why；　but　I　think　she　knew；　and　you　must　tell　her；　dear；　the　next　time　you　see　her；　that　I　thank　her；　and　that　she　need　never　do　it　again。　I　thought；　if　he　should　come　in　a　storm；　or；　perhaps；　sail　by；　on　his　way　to　me〃

There　was　another　long　silence；　then；　with　an　effort；　she　went　on。　〃I　have　been　happy；　for　he　said　he　wanted　me　to　be；　though　sometimes　it　was　hard。　As　nearly　as　I　could；　I　made　my　dream　real。　I　have　thought；　for　hours；　of　the　things　we　would　say　to　each　other　when　the　long　years　were　over　an