the story of an african farm-第64章

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the　light　was　near　her；　he　thought　he　could　see　contractions　about　her　lips

and　eyebrows。



He　slept　on　the　sofa　outside　her　door。



One　night　he　thought　he　heard　a　sound；　and；　opening　it　softly；　he　looked

in。　　She　was　crying　out　aloud；　as　if　she　and　her　pain　were　alone　in　the

world。　　The　light　fell　on　the　red　quilt；　and　the　little　hands　that　were

clasped　over　the　head。　　The　wide…open　eyes　were　looking　up；　and　the　heavy

drops　fell　slowly　from　them。



〃I　cannot　bear　any　more；　not　any　more；〃　she　said　in　a　deep　voice。　　〃Oh；

God；　God！　have　I　not　borne　in　silence？　　Have　I　not　endured　these　long；　long

months？　　But　now；　now；　oh；　God；　I　cannot！〃



Gregory　knelt　in　the　doorway　listening。



〃I　do　not　ask　for　wisdom；　not　human　love；　not　work；　not　knowledge；　not　for

all　things　I　have　longed　for；〃　she　cried；　〃only　a　little　freedom　from　pain！

Only　one　little　hour　without　pain！　　Then　I　will　suffer　again。〃



She　sat　up；　and　bit　the　little　hand　Gregory　loved。



He　crept　away　to　the　front　door；　and　stood　looking　out　at　the　quiet

starlight。　　When　he　came　back　she　was　lying　in　her　usual　posture；　the　quiet

eyes　looking　at　the　lion's　claw。　　He　came　close　to　the　bed。



〃You　have　much　pain　tonight？〃　he　asked　her。



〃No；　not　much。〃



〃Can　I　do　anything　for　you？〃



〃No；　nothing。〃



She　still　drew　her　lips　together；　and　motioned　with　her　fingers　toward　the

dog　who　lay　sleeping　at　her　feet。　　Gregory　lifted　him　and　laid　him　at　her

side。　　She　made　Gregory　turn　open　the　bosom　of　her　nightdress；　that　the　dog

might　put　his　black　muzzle　between　her　breasts。　　She　crossed　her　arms　over

him。　　Gregory　left　them　lying　there　together。



Next　day；　when　they　asked　her　how　she　was；　she　answered　〃Better。〃



〃Some　one　ought　to　tell　her；〃　said　the　landlady；　〃we　can't　let　her　soul　go

out　into　eternity　not　knowing；　especially　when　I　don't　think　it　was　all

right　about　the　child。　　You　ought　to　go　and　tell　her；　doctor。〃



So；　the　little　doctor；　edged　on　and　on；　went　in　at　last。　　When　he　came　out

of　the　room　he　shook　his　fist　in　the　landlady's　face。



〃The　next　time　you　have　any　devil's　work　to　do；　do　it　yourself；〃　he　said；

and　he　shook　his　fist　in　her　face　again；　and　went　away　swearing。



When　Gregory　went　into　the　bedroom　he　only　found　her　moved；　her　body　curled

up；　and　drawn　close　to　the　wall。　　He　dared　not　disturb　her。　　At　last；　after

a　long　time；　she　turned。



〃Bring　me　food；〃　she　said；　〃I　want　to　eat。　　Two　eggs；　and　toast；　and　meat

two　large　slices　of　toast；　please。〃



Wondering；　Gregory　brought　a　tray　with　all　that　she　had　asked　for。



〃Sit　me　up；　and　put　it　close　to　me；〃　she　said；　〃I　am　going　to　eat　it　all。〃　

She　tried　to　draw　the　things　near　her　with　her　fingers；　and　re…arranged　the

plates。　　She　cut　the　toast　into　long　strips；　broke　open　both　eggs；　put　a

tiny　morsel　of　bread　into　her　own　mouth；　and　fed　the　dog　with　pieces　of

meat　put　into　his　jaws　with　her　fingers。



〃Is　it　twelve　o'clock　yet？〃　she　said；　〃I　think　I　do　not　generally　eat　so

early。　　Put　it　away；　please；　carefullyno；　do　not　take　it　awayonly　on

the　table。　　When　the　clock　strikes　twelve　I　will　eat　it。〃



She　lay　down　trembling。　　After　a　little　while　she　said：



〃Give　me　my　clothes。〃



He　looked　at　her。



〃Yes；　I　am　going　to　dress　tomorrow。　　I　should　get　up　now；　but　it　is　rather

late。　　Put　them　on　that　chair。　　My　collars　are　in　the　little　box；　my　boots

behind　the　door。〃



Her　eyes　followed　him　intently　as　he　collected　the　articles　one　by　one；　and

placed　them　on　the　chair　as　she　directed。



〃Put　it　nearer；〃　she　said；　〃I　cannot　see　it；〃　and　she　lay　watching　the

clothes；　with　her　hand　under　her　cheek。



〃Now　open　the　shutter　wide；〃　she　said；　〃I　am　going　to　read。〃



The　old；　old　tone　was　again　in　the　sweet　voice。　　He　obeyed　her；　and　opened

the　shutter；　and　raised　her　up　among　the　pillows。



〃Now　bring　my　books　to　me；〃　she　said；　motioning　eagerly　with　her　fingers；

〃the　large　book；　and　the　reviews　and　the　playsI　want　them　all。〃



He　piled　them　round　her　on　the　bed；　she　drew　them　greedily　closer；　her　eyes

very　bright；　but　her　face　as　white　as　a　mountain　lily。



〃Now　the　big　one　off　the　drawers。　　No；　you　need　not　help　me　to　hold　my

book；〃　she　said；　〃I　can　hold　it　for　myself。〃



Gregory　went　back　to　his　corner；　and　for　a　little　time　the　restless　turning

over　of　leaves　was　to　be　heard。



〃Will　you　open　the　window；〃　she　said；　almost　querulously；　〃and　throw　this

book　out？　　It　is　so　utterly　foolish。　　I　thought　it　was　a　valuable　book；　but

the　words　are　merely　strung　together；　they　make　no　sense。　　Yesso！〃　she

said　with　approval；　seeing　him　fling　it　out　into　the　street。　　〃I　must　have

been　very　foolish　when　I　thought　that　book　good。〃



Then　she　turned　to　read；　and　leaned　her　little　elbows　resolutely　on　the

great　volume；　and　knit　her　brows。　　This　was　Shakespeareit　must　mean

something。



〃I　wish　you　would　take　a　handkerchief　and　tie　it　tight　round　my　head；　it

aches　so。〃



He　had　not　been　long　in　his　seat　when　he　saw　drops　fall　from　beneath　the

hands　that　shaded　the　eyes；　on　to　the　page。



〃I　am　not　accustomed　to　so　much　light；　it　makes　my　head　swim　a　little；〃　she

said。　　〃Go　out　and　close　the　shutter。〃



When　he　came　back；　she　lay　shrivelled　up　among　the　pillows。



He　heard　no　sound　of　weeping；　but　the　shoulders　shook。　　He　darkened　the

room　completely。



When　Gregory　went　to　his　sofa　that　night；　she　told　him　to　wake　her　early；

she　would　be　dressed　before　breakfast。　　Nevertheless；　when　morning　came；

she　said　it　was　a　little　cold；　and　lay　all　day　watching　her　clothes　upon

the　chair。　　Still　she　sent　for　her　oxen　in　the　country；　they　would　start　on

Monday　and　go　down　to　the　Colony。



In　the　afternoon　she　told　him　to　open　the　window　wide；　and　draw　the　bed

near　it。



It　was　a　leaden　afternoon；　the　dull　rain…clouds　rested　close　to　the　roofs

of　the　houses；　and　the　little　street　was　silent　and　deserted。　　Now　and　then

a　gust　of　wind　eddying　round　caught　up　the　dried　leaves；　whirled　them

hither　and　thither　under　the　trees；　and　dropped　them　again　into　the　gutter；

then　all　was　quiet。　　She　lay　looking　out。



Presently　the　bell　of　the　church　began　to　toll；　and　up　the　village　street

came　a　long　procession。　　They　were　carrying　an　old　man　to　his　last　resting…

place。　　She　followed　them　with　her　eyes　till　they　turned　in　among　the　trees

at　the　gate。



〃Who　was　that？〃　she　asked。



〃An　old　man；〃　he　answered；　〃a　very　old　man；　they　say　he　was　ninety…four；

but　his　name　I　do　not　know。〃



She　mused　a　while；　looking　out　with　fixed　eyes。



〃That　is　why　the　bell　rang　so　cheerfully；〃　she　said。　　〃When　the　old　die　it

is　well；　they　have　had　their　time。　　It　is　when　the　young　die　that　the　bells

weep　drops　of　blood。〃



〃But　the　old　love　life？〃　he　said；　for　it　was　sweet　to　hear　her　speak。



She　raised　herself　on　her　elbow。



〃They　love　life；　they　do　not　want　to　die；〃　she　answered；　〃but　what　of　that？

They　have　had　their　time。　　They　knew　that　a　man's　life　is　three…score　years

and　ten；　they　should　have　made　their　plans　accordingly！



〃But　the　young；〃　she　said；　〃the　young；　cut　down；　cruelly；　when　they　have

not　seen；　when　they　have　not　knownwhen　they　have　not　foundit　is　for

them　that　the　bells　weep　blood。　　I　heard　in　the　ringing　it　was　an　old　man。　

When　the　old　die　　Listen　to　the　bell！　it　is　laughing'It　is　right；　it　is

right；　he　has　had　his　time。'　　They　cannot　ring　so　for　the　young。〃



She　fell　back　exhausted；　the　hot　light　died　from　her　eyes；　and　she　lay

looking　out　into　the　street。　　By　and　by　stragglers　from　the　funeral　began

to　come　back　and　disappear　here　and　there　among　the　houses；　then　all　was

quiet；　and　the　night　began　to　settle　down　upon　the　village　street。　

Afterward；　when　the　room　was　almost　dark；　so　that　they　could　not　see　each

other's　faces；　she　said；　〃It　will　rain　tonight；〃　and　moved　restlessly　on

the　pillows。　　〃How　terrible　when　the　rain　falls　down　on　you。〃



He　wondered　what　she　m