the story of an african farm-第43章

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〃Yesand　a　cat　set　afloat　in　a　pond　is　free　to　sit　in　the　tub　till　it　dies

there；　it　is　under　no　obligation　to　wet　its　feet；　and　a　drowning　man　may

catch　at　a　straw　or　not；　just　as　he　likesit　is　a　glorious　liberty！　　Let

any　man　think　for　five　minutes　of　what　old　maidenhood　means　to　a　womanand

then　let　him　be　silent。　　Is　it　easy　to　bear　through　life　a　name　that　in

itself　signifies　defeat？　to　dwell；　as　nine　out　of　ten　unmarried　women　must；

under　the　finger　of　another　woman？　　Is　it　easy　to　look　forward　to　an　old

age　without　honour；　without　the　reward　of　useful　labour；　without　love？　　I

wonder　how　many　men　there　are　who　would　give　up　everything　that　is　dear　in

life　for　the　sake　of　maintaining　a　high　ideal　purity。〃



She　laughed　a　little　laugh　that　was　clear　without　being　pleasant。



〃And　then；　when　they　have　no　other　argument　against　us；　they　say；　'Go　on；

but　when　you　have　made　woman　what　you　wish；　and　her　children　inherit　her

culture；　you　will　defeat　yourself。　　Man　will　gradually　become　extinct　from

excess　of　intellect；　the　passions　which　replenish　the　race　will　die。'　

Fools！〃　she　said；　curling　her　pretty　lip。　　〃A　Hottentot　sits　at　the

roadside　and　feeds　on　a　rotten　bone　he　has　found　there；　and　takes　out　his

bottle　of　Cape…smoke　and　swills　at　it；　and　grunts　with　satisfaction；　and

the　cultured　child　of　the　nineteenth　century　sits　in　his　armchair；　and　sips

choice　wines　with　the　lip　of　a　connoisseur；　and　tastes　delicate　dishes　with

a　delicate　palate；　and　with　a　satisfaction　of　which　the　Hottentot　knows

nothing。　　Heavy　jaw　and　sloping　foreheadall　have　gone　with　increasing

intellect；　but　the　animal　appetites　are　there　stillrefined；

discriminative；　but　immeasurably　intensified。　　Fools！　　Before　men　forgave

or　worshipped；　while　they　were　weak　on　their　hind　legs；　did　they　not　eat

and　drink；　and　fight　for　wives？　　When　all　the　latter　additions　to　humanity

have　vanished；　will　not　the　foundation　on　which　they　are　built　remain？〃



She　was　silent　then　for　a　while；　and　said　somewhat　dreamily；　more　as　though

speaking　to　herself　than　to　him；



〃They　ask；　What　will　you　gain；　even　if　man　does　not　become　extinct？you

will　have　brought　justice　and　equality　on　to　the　earth；　and　sent　love　from

it。　　When　men　and　women　are　equals　they　will　love　no　more。　　Your　highly…

cultured　women　will　not　be　lovable；　will　not　love。



〃Do　they　see　nothing；　understand　nothing？　　It　is　Tant　Sannie　who　buries

husbands　one　after　another；　and　folds　her　hands　resignedly；'The　Lord

gave；　and　the　Lord　hath　taken　away；　and　blessed　be　the　name　of　the　Lord；'

and　she　looks　for　another。　　It　is　the　hard…headed；　deep　thinker　who；　when

the　wife　who　has　thought　and　worked　with　him　goes；　can　find　no　rest；　and

lingers　near　her　till　he　finds　sleep　beside　her。



〃A　great　soul　draws　and　is　drawn　with　a　more　fierce　intensity　than　any

small　one。　　By　every　inch　we　grow　in　intellectual　height　our　love　strikes

down　its　roots　deeper；　and　spreads　out　its　arms　wider。　　It　is　for　love's

sake　yet　more　than　for　any　other　that　we　look　for　that　new　time。〃



She　had　leaned　her　head　against　the　stones；　and　watched　with　her　sad；　soft

eyes　the　retreating　bird。　　〃Then　when　that　time　comes；〃　she　said　lowly；

〃when　love　is　no　more　bought　or　sold；　when　it　is　not　a　means　of　making

bread；　when　each　woman's　life　is　filled　with　earnest；　independent　labour；

then　love　will　come　to　her；　a　strange；　sudden　sweetness　breaking　in　upon

her　earnest　work；　not　sought　for；　but　found。　　Then；　but　not　now〃



Waldo　waited　for　her　to　finish　the　sentence；　but　she　seemed　to　have

forgotten　him。



〃Lyndall；〃　he　said；　putting　his　hand　upon　hershe　started〃if　you　think

that　that　new　time　will　be　so　great；　so　good；　you　who　speak　so　easily〃



She　interrupted　him。



〃Speak！　speak！〃　she　said；　〃the　difficulty　is　not　to　speak；　the　difficulty

is　to　keep　silence。〃



〃But　why　do　you　not　try　to　bring　that　time？〃　he　said　with　pitiful

simplicity。　　〃When　you　speak　I　believe　all　you　say；　other　people　would

listen　to　you　also。〃



〃I　am　not　so　sure　of　that；〃　she　said　with　a　smile。



Then　over　the　small　face　came　the　weary　look　it　had　worn　last　night　as　it

watched　the　shadow　in　the　corner；　Ah；　so　weary！



〃I；　Waldo；　I？〃　she　said。　　〃I　will　do　nothing　good　for　myself；　nothing　for

the　world；　till　some　one　wakes　me。　　I　am　asleep；　swathed；　shut　up　in　self；

till　I　have　been　delivered　I　will　deliver　no　one。〃



He　looked　at　her　wondering；　but　she　was　not　looking　at　him。



〃To　see　the　good　and　the　beautiful；〃　she　said；　〃and　to　have　no　strength　to

live　it；　is　only　to　be　Moses　on　the　mountain　of　Nebo；　with　the　land　at　your

feet　and　no　power　to　enter。　　It　would　be　better　not　to　see　it。　　Come；〃　she

said；　looking　up　into　his　face；　and　seeing　its　uncomprehending　expression；

〃let　us　go；　it　is　getting　late。　　Doss　is　anxious　for　his　breakfast　also；〃

she　added；　wheeling　round　and　calling　to　the　dog；　who　was　endeavouring　to

unearth　a　mole；　an　occupation　to　which　he　had　been　zealously　addicted　from

the　third　month；　but　in　which　he　had　never　on　any　single　occasion　proved

successful。



Waldo　shouldered　his　bag；　and　Lyndall　walked　on　before　in　silence；　with　the

dog　close　to　her　side。　　Perhaps　she　thought　of　the　narrowness　of　the　limits

within　which　a　human　soul　may　speak　and　be　understood　by　its　nearest　of

mental　kin；　of　how　soon　it　reaches　that　solitary　land　of　the　individual

experience；　in　which　no　fellow　footfall　is　ever　heard。　　Whatever　her

thoughts　may　have　been；　she　was　soon　interrupted。　　Waldo　came　close　to　her；

and　standing　still；　produced　with　awkwardness　from　his　breast…pocket　a

small　carved　box。



〃I　made　it　for　you；〃　he　said；　holding　it　out。



〃I　like　it；〃　she　said；　examining　it　carefully。



The　workmanship　was　better　than　that　of　the　grave…post。　　The　flowers　that

covered　it　were　delicate；　and　here　and　there　small　conical　protuberances

were　let　in　among　them。　　She　turned　it　round　critically。　　Waldo　bent　over

it　lovingly。



〃There　is　one　strange　thing　about　it；〃　he　said　earnestly；　putting　a　finger

on　one　little　pyramid。　　〃I　made　it　without　these；　and　I　felt　something　was

wrong；　I　tried　many　changes；　and　at　last　I　let　these　in；　and　then　it　was

right。　　But　why　was　it？　　They　are　not　beautiful　in　themselves。〃



〃They　relieve　the　monotony　of　the　smooth　leaves；　I　suppose。〃



He　shook　his　head　as　over　a　weighty　matter。



〃The　sky　is　monotonous；〃　he　said；　〃when　it　is　blue；　and　yet　it　is

beautiful。　　I　have　thought　of　that　often；　but　it　is　not　monotony；　and　it　is

not　variety　makes　beauty。　　What　is　it？　　The　sky；　and　your　face；　and　this

boxthe　same　thing　is　in　them　all；　only　more　in　the　sky　and　in　your　face。

But　what　is　it？〃



She　smiled。



〃So　you　are　at　your　old　work　still。　　Why；　why；　why？　　What　is　the　reason？　

It　is　enough　for　me；〃　she　said；　〃if　I　find　out　what　is　beautiful　and　what

is　ugly；　what　is　real　and　what　is　not。　　Why　it　is　there；　and　over　the　final

cause　of　things　in　general；　I　don't　trouble　myself；　there　must　be　one；　but

what　is　it　to　me？　　If　I　howl　to　all　eternity　I　shall　never　get　hold　of　it；

and　if　I　did　I　might　be　no　better　off。　　But　you　Germans　are　born　with　an

aptitude　for　borrowing；　you　can't　help　yourselves。　　You　must　sniff　after

reasons；　just　as　that　dog　must　after　a　mole。　　He　knows　perfectly　well　he

will　never　catch　it；　but　he's　under　the　imperative　necessity　of　digging　for

it。〃



〃But　he　might　find　it。〃



〃Might！but　he　never　has　and　never　will。　　Life　is　too　short　to　run　after

mights；　we　must　have　certainties。〃



She　tucked　the　box　under　her　arm　and　was　about　to　walk　on；　when　Gregory

Rose；　with　shining　spurs；　an　ostrich　feather　in　his　hat；　and　a　silver…

headed　whip；　careered　past。　　He　bowed　gallantly　as　he　went　by。　　They　waited

till　the　dust　of　the　horse's　hoofs　had　laid　itself。



〃There；〃　said　Lyndall；　〃goes　a　true　womanone　born　for　the　sphere　that

some　women　have　to　fill　without　being　born　for　it。　　How　happy　he　would　be

sewing　frills　into　his　little　gi