the story of an african farm-第41章

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the　wall　and　leaned　beside　her。



〃I　like　these　birds；〃　she　said；　〃they　share　each　other's　work；　and　are

companions。　　Do　you　take　an　interest　in　the　position　of　women；　Waldo？〃



〃No。〃



〃I　thought　not。　　No　one　does；　unless　they　are　in　need　of　a　subject　upon

which　to　show　their　wit。　　And　as　for　you；　from　of　old　you　can　see　nothing

that　is　not　separated　from　you　by　a　few　millions　of　miles；　and　strewed　over

with　mystery。　　If　women　were　the　inhabitants　of　Jupiter；　of　whom　you　had

happened　to　hear　something；　you　would　pore　over　us　and　our　condition　night

and　day；　but　because　we　are　before　your　eyes　you　never　look　at　us。　　You

care　nothing　that　this　is　ragged　and　ugly；〃　she　said；　putting　her　little

finger　on　his　sleeve；　〃but　you　strive　mightily　to　make　an　imaginary　leaf　on

an　old　stick　beautiful。　　I'm　sorry　you　don't　care　for　the　position　of

women；　I　should　have　liked　us　to　be　friends；　and　it　is　the　only　thing　about

which　I　think　much　or　feel　muchif；　indeed；　I　have　any　feeling　about

anything；〃　she　added；　flippantly；　readjusting　her　dainty　little　arms。　

〃When　I　was　a　baby；　I　fancy　my　parents　left　me　out　in　the　frost　one　night；

and　I　got　nipped　internallyit　feels　so！〃



〃I　have　only　a　few　old　thoughts；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　think　them　over　and　over

again；　always　beginning　where　I　left　off。　　I　never　get　any　further。　　I　am

weary　of　them。〃



〃Like　an　old　hen　that　sits　on　its　eggs　month　after　month　and　they　never

come　out？〃　she　said　quickly。　　〃I　am　so　pressed　in　upon　by　new　things　that；

lest　they　should　trip　one　another　up；　I　have　to　keep　forcing　them　back。　　My

head　swings　sometimes。　　But　this　one　thought　stands；　never　goesif　I　might

but　be　one　of　these　born　in　the　future；　then；　perhaps；　to　be　born　a　woman

will　not　be　to　be　born　branded。〃



Waldo　looked　at　her。　　It　was　hard　to　say　whether　she　were　in　earnest　or

mocking。



〃I　know　it　is　foolish。　　Wisdom　never　kicks　at　the　iron　walls　it　can't　bring

down；〃　she　said。　　〃But　we　are　cursed。　　Waldo；　born　cursed　from　the　time　our

mothers　bring　us　into　the　world　till　the　shrouds　are　put　on　us。　　Do　not

look　at　me　as　though　I　were　talking　nonsense。　　Everything　has　two　sides

the　outside　that　is　ridiculous；　and　the　inside　that　is　solemn。〃



〃I　am　not　laughing；〃　said　the　boy；　sedately　enough；　〃but　what　curses　you？〃



He　thought　she　would　not　reply　to　him；　she　waited　so　long。



〃It　is　not　what　is　done　to　us；　but　what　is　made　of　us；〃　she　said　at　last；

〃that　wrongs　us。　　No　man　can　be　really　injured　but　by　what　modifies

himself。　　We　all　enter　the　world　little　plastic　beings；　with　so　much

natural　force；　perhaps；　but　for　the　restblank；　and　the　world　tells　us

what　we　are　to　be；　and　shapes　us　by　the　ends　it　sets　before　us。　　To　you　it

says〃Work；〃　and　to　us　it　says〃Seem！〃　　To　you　it　saysAs　you

approximate　to　man's　highest　ideal　of　God；　as　your　arm　is　strong　and　your

knowledge　great；　and　the　power　to　labour　is　with　you；　so　you　shall　gain　all

that　human　heart　desires。　　To　us　it　saysStrength　shall　not　help　you；　nor

knowledge；　nor　labour。　　You　shall　gain　what　men　gain；　but　by　other　means。　

And　so　the　world　makes　men　and　women。



〃Look　at　this　little　chin　of　mine；　Waldo；　with　the　dimple　in　it。　　It　is　but

a　small　part　of　my　person；　but　though　I　had　a　knowledge　of　all　things　under

the　sun；　and　the　wisdom　to　use　it；　and　the　deep　loving　heart　of　an　angel；

it　would　not　stead　me　through　life　like　this　little　chin。　　I　can　win　money

with　it；　I　can　win　love；　I　can　win　power　with　it；　I　can　win　fame。　　What

would　knowledge　help　me？　　The　less　a　woman　has　in　her　head　the　lighter　she

is　for　climbing。　　I　once　heard　an　old　man　say；　that　he　never　saw　intellect

help　a　woman　so　much　as　a　pretty　ankle；　and　it　was　the　truth。　　They　begin

to　shape　us　to　our　cursed　end；〃　she　said；　with　her　lips　drawn　in　to　look　as

though　they　smiled；　〃when　we　are　tiny　things　in　shoes　and　socks。　　We　sit

with　our　little　feet　drawn　up　under　us　in　the　window；　and　look　out　at　the

boys　in　their　happy　play。　　We　want　to　go。　　Then　a　loving　hand　is　laid　on

us：　　'Little　one；　you　cannot　go；'　they　say；　'your　little　face　will　burn；

and　your　nice　white　dress　be　spoiled。'　　We　feel　it　must　be　for　our　good；　it

is　so　lovingly　said：　　but　we　cannot　understand；　and　we　kneel　still　with　one

little　cheek　wistfully　pressed　against　the　pane。　　Afterwards　we　go　and

thread　blue　beads；　and　make　a　string　for　our　neck；　and　we　go　and　stand

before　the　glass。　　We　see　the　complexion　we　were　not　to　spoil；　and　the

white　frock；　and　we　look　into　our　own　great　eyes。　　Then　the　curse　begins　to

act　on　us。　　It　finishes　its　work　when　we　are　grown　women；　who　no　more　look

out　wistfully　at　a　more　healthy　life；　we　are　contented。　　We　fit　our　sphere

as　a　Chinese　woman's　foot　fits　her　shoe；　exactly；　as　though　God　had　made

bothand　yet　he　knows　nothing　of　either。　　In　some　of　us　the　shaping　of　our

end　has　been　quite　completed。　　The　parts　we　are　not　to　use　have　been　quite

atrophied；　and　have　even　dropped　off；　but　in　others；　and　we　are　not　less　to

be　pitied；　they　have　been　weakened　and　left。　　We　wear　the　bandages；　but　our

limbs　have　not　grown　to　them；　we　know　that　we　are　compressed；　and　chafe

against　them。



〃But　what　does　it　help？　　A　little　bitterness；　a　little　longing　when　we　are

young；　a　little　futile　searching　for　work；　a　little　passionate　striving　for

room　for　the　exercise　of　our　powers；and　then　we　go　with　the　drove。　　A

woman　must　march　with　her　regiment。　　In　the　end　she　must　be　trodden　down　or

go　with　it；　and　if　she　is　wise　she　goes。



〃I　see　in　your　great　eyes　what　you　are　thinking；〃　she　said；　glancing　at

him；　〃I　always　know　what　the　person　I　am　talking　to　is　thinking　of。　　How　is

this　woman　who　makes　such　a　fuss　worse　off　than　I？　　I　will　show　you　by　a

very　little　example。　　We　stand　here　at　this　gate　this　morning；　both　poor；

both　young；　both　friendless；　there　is　not　much　to　choose　between　us。　　Let

us　turn　away　just　as　we　are；　to　make　our　way　in　life。　　This　evening　you

will　come　to　a　farmer's　house。　　The　farmer；　albeit　you　come　alone　on　foot；

will　give　you　a　pipe　of　tobacco　and　a　cup　of　coffee　and　a　bed。　　If　he　has

no　dam　to　build　and　no　child　to　teach；　tomorrow　you　can　go　on　your　way；

with　a　friendly　greeting　of　the　hand。　　I；　if　I　come　to　the　same　place

tonight；　will　have　strange　questions　asked　me；　strange　glances　cast　on　me。　

The　Boer…wife　will　shake　her　head　and　give　me　food　to　eat　with　the　Kaffers；

and　a　right　to　sleep　with　the　dogs。　　That　would　be　the　first　step　in　our

progressa　very　little　one；　but　every　step　to　the　end　would　repeat　it。　　We

were　equals　once　when　we　lay　new…born　babes　on　our　nurses'　knees。　　We　will

be　equals　again　when　they　tie　up　our　jaws　for　the　last　sleep！〃



Waldo　looked　in　wonder　at　the　little　quivering　face；　it　was　a　glimpse　into

a　world　of　passion　and　feeling　wholly　new　to　him。



〃Mark　you；〃　she　said；　〃we　have　always　this　advantage　over　youwe　can　at

any　time　step　into　ease　and　competence；　where　you　must　labour　patiently　for

it。　　A　little　weeping；　a　little　wheedling；　a　little　self…degradation；　a

little　careful　use　of　our　advantages；　and　then　some　man　will　say：　　〃Come；

be　my　wife！〃　　With　good　looks　and　youth　marriage　is　easy　to　attain。　　There

are　men　enough；　but　a　woman　who　has　sold　herself；　even　for　a　ring　and　a　new

name；　need　hold　her　skirt　aside　for　no　creature　in　the　street。　　They　both

earn　their　bread　in　one　way。　　Marriage　for　love　is　the　beautifulest

external　symbol　of　the　union　of　souls；　marriage　without　it　is　the

uncleanliest　traffic　that　defiles　the　world。〃　　She　ran　her　little　finger

savagely　along　the　topmost　bar；　shaking　off　the　dozen　little　dewdrops　that

still　hung　there。　　〃And　they　tell　us　we　have　men's　chivalrous　attention！〃

she　cried。　　〃When　we　ask　to　be　doctors；　lawyers；　law…makers；　anything　but

ill…paid　drudges；　they　sayNo；　but　you　have　men's　chivalrous　attention；

now　think　of　that　and　be　satisfied！　　What　would　you　do　without　it？〃



The　bitter　little　silvery　laugh；　so　seldom　heard；　rang　out　across　the

bushes。　　Sh