the darrow enigma-第23章
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away。 We were to meet at the usual place and hour； take the night
train for Matheron Station； and there be married。
〃My heart bounded with joy as I climbed Malabar Hill on that fatal
evening； but my delight was of short duration。 In my fear lest I
should keep my lover waiting I must have arrived fully fifteen
minutes before the appointed time。 I was standing with my back
against the banyan tree； awaiting the first sound of his approach；
when my attention was attracted by what seemed to be two little
balls of fire shining from a clump of bushes almost directly in
front of me。 They seemed to burn with a lurid and wicked glare； and；
as my gaze became entangled by them； a tremor ran through my frame
and a cold sweat bathed my entire body。 Overcome by an unspeakable
dread I made one last frantic effort to withdraw my eyes； but could
not。 Then gradually； by slow degrees； my terror was succeeded by an
over…whelming fascination。 I felt myself drawn irresistibly toward
the thicket。 Then came a vague sense of falling； falling； falling；
and I knew no more； at least for some little time。
〃The next thing I remember is seeing my lover stretch out his arms
to me； while I was inspired with an unaccountable hatred of him so
bitter that it left me mute and transfixed。 Then he sought to
embrace me； and I threw a young cobra； which； coiled in a wicker
basket； had been placed in my hand； full in his face。 I think； also；
that I struck him； and then ran down the hill and straight to the
house of Ragobah。 What happened during the next few months I know
not。 I seemed to have been in a continual sleep full of dreams。
When I awoke I seemed conscious that I had dreamt； but could not
tell of what。 You can imagine my horror； my despair； when I was
first addressed as Ragobah's wife。 I denied the relation； but
everyone told me the same story … I was Ragobah Sahibah。 This shock；
coming as it did with the memory of my conduct that terrible night
on Malabar Hill； nearly killed me； and was followed by another long
period of the dream existence。 I began to think I was a sufferer
from some terrible brain disease； and to doubt which was my real
existence； the dreams or the waking moments。
〃One day when； for the first time in several weeks； I was in
possession of my normal faculties； Ragobah came into my room and
sat down beside me。 I arose instantly and fled to the farther
corner of the apartment。 He pursued me and sought to conquer my all
too apparent aversion for him by terms of endearment； but the more
he pressed his suit the more my loathing grew until； maddened by
references made to Darrow Sahib； I lost all self…control and
permitted him to learn my detestation of him。 He heard me through
in silence； his face growing darker with every word； and when I had
finished said with slow and studied malice：
〃'You forget that you are my wife and that I can follow my entreaty
by command。 You spurn my love。 You are not yet weaned from that
English cur whose life； let me tell you； is in my hands。 Fool； can
you not see how powerless you are？ I have but to will you to kill
him and your first cursed failure on Malabar Hill will be washed out
with his infidel blood。 You will do well to yield peaceably。 The
thread of your very existence passes through my hands； to cut or
tangle it as I list … yield you must！' With this he strode
frantically from the room； leaving me more dead than alive。 As
he disclosed his fiendish secret something about my heart kept
tightening with every word till； at length； it seemed as if it must
burst； so terrible was the pressure。 I could not breathe。 My lungs
seemed filled with molten lead。 How long this agony continued I do
not know； for the thread of consciousness broke under its terrible
tension and I fell senseless upon the floor。
〃When I recovered from my swoon the inexpressible horror of my
situation again descended upon my spirit like a snuffer upon a
candle。 I was Ragobah's wife； his slave； his tool； as powerless to
resist his will as if I were one of his limbs。 All was now clear。
The long sleep； crowded with unremembered dreams； represented the
period when I was under Ragobah's control； … the horrible night on
Malabar Hill being one of them； … and the waking moments； those
periods when my feeble； overridden consciousness flickered back to
dimly light for a time the gloom of this intellectual night。 There
was no hope for me。 Already had I been so dominated by his will and
inspired by his malice as to attempt the life of my lover。 What
might I not be made to do in future？ As I thought of this； Ragobah's
last threat rang with a sinister warning upon my ears till it seemed
as if it would drive me into madness。 The suspicion grew to be a
certainty from which there was but one means of escape … death … and
I determined at once to embrace it before I could be made the
instrument for the infliction of further injury upon my lover。 I
seized a little dagger which in my normal moments I always kept
concealed about me； and was about to plunge it into my bosom when I
was smitten by the thought； … and it cut me as the steel could not
have done； … that Darrow Sahib would never know the truth； and that
his love for me would be forever buried beneath a mass of black
misgivings。 The certainty of this conviction paralysed my will； and
my arm dropped nervelessly at my side。 It would be a simple matter；
I thought； to find some way of confiding my story to you and pledging
you to explain everything to Darrow Sahib； after which I could die
in peace； if not without regret。 But it was not so easy to
communicate with you as I had expected。 Days passed before I had a
chance to make the attempt； and the only result of it was to show
me how closely I was watched。 If Ragobah were absent； there was
always someone in his employ who made it his business to acquaint
himself with my every movement。 I dare not take the time to tell
you how I succeeded in obtaining this interview further than to say
that I was able to win to my cause the man who bore my message to
you … a servant in whom Ragobah has the utmost confidence。 When my
husband departed this morning Kandia was left in charge of me； and
so your visit was made possible。
〃You are now acquainted with the trust I would impose upon you： swear
to me； Moro； that you will make this explanation for me to John
Darrow and to no other human being！ Swear it by the love you once
said you bore me！〃 She sank back exhausted and awaited my response。
For a moment I dared not trust myself to speak； yet something must
be said。 As I noted her impatience I replied： 〃Lona； you have lifted
a great weight from my heart and placed a lesser one upon it。
Forgive me that I have ever doubted you。 Even as you have been true
to yourself； I swear by the love I still bear you to deliver your
message to Darrow Sahib and to no other human being。 I shall commit
your words at once to writing that nothing may be lost through the
failure of my memory。〃
She reached her hand out feebly to me； and never shall I forget the
look of gratitude which accompanied its tremulous pressure as she
murmured： 〃After John； Moro； you are dearest。 I shall not try to
thank you。 May the ineffable peace which you bring my aching heart
return a thousand…fold into your own。 Farewell。 Ragobah may return
at any moment。 Let us not needlessly imperil your safety。 Once
more good…bye。 The dew…drop now may freely fall into the shining
sea。〃 Poor distraught child！ She had tried to adopt her lover's
religion without abandoning her own。 I bent over and kissed her。
It was my first and last kiss and she gave it with a sweet sadness；
the memory of which； through all these years； has dwelt in the
better part of me； like a fragrance in the vesture of the soul。
One long； lingering look and I departed； never to see again this
woman I had so fondly； so hopelessly loved。
You now know the exact nature of the covenant I have felt constrained
to violate。 I have told you her story in her own words。 I wrote it
out immediately after my interview with her and have read it so many
times； during the last twenty years； t
