the ninth vibration-第15章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



She　resumed；…

〃The　abbot　saw　her　and　he　loved　her。　He　was　young　still；　you　remember。　She　was　a　woman　of　the　Hindu　faith　and　hated　Buddhism。　It　swept　him　down　into　the　lower　worlds　of　storm　and　desire。　He　fled　with　Lilavanti　and　never　returned　here。　So　in　his　rebirth　he　fell…〃

She　stopped　dead；　her　face　pale　as　death。

〃How　do　you　know？　Where　have　you　read　it？　If　I　could　only　find　what　you　find　and　know　what　you　know！　The　East　is　like　an　open　book　to　you。　Tell　me　the　rest。〃

〃How　should　I　know　any　more？〃　she　said　hurriedly。　〃We　must　be　going　back。　You　should　study　the　plans　of　this　place　at　Peshawar。　They　were　very　learned　monks　who　lived　here。　It　is　famous　for　learning。〃

The　life　had　gone　out　of　her　words…out　of　the　ruins。　There　was　no　more　to　be　said。

We　clambered　down　the　hill　in　the　hot　sunshine；　speaking　only　of　the　view；　the　strange　shrubs　and　flowers；　and；　once；　the　swift　gliding　of　a　snake；　and　found　Mrs。　Delany　blissfully　asleep　in　the　most　padded　corner　of　the　car。　The　spirit　of　the　East　vanished　in　her　comfortable　presence；　and　luncheon　seemed　the　only　matter　of　moment。

〃I　wonder；　my　dears；〃　she　said；　〃if　you　would　be　very　disappointed　and　think　me　very　dense　if　I　proposed　our　giving　up　the　Malakhand　Fort？　The　driver　has　been　giving　me　in　very　poor　English　such　an　account　of　the　dangers　of　that　awful　road　up　the　hill　that　I　feel　no　Fort　would　repay　me　for　its　terrors。　Do　say　what　you　feel；　Miss　Loring。　Mr。　Clifden　can　lunch　with　the　officers　at　Nowshera　and　come　any　time。　I　know　I　am　an　atrocity。〃

There　could　be　only　one　answer；　though　Vanna　and　I　knew　perfectly　well　the　crafty　design　of　the　driver　to　spare　himself　work。　Mrs。　Delany　remained　brightly　awake　for　the　run　home；　and　favored　us　with　many　remarkable　views　on　India　and　its　shortcomings；　Vanna；　who　had　a　sincere　liking　for　her；　laughing　with　delight　at　her　description　of　a　visit　of　condolence　with　Lady　Meryon　to　the　five　widows　of　one　of　the　hill　Rajas。

But　I　own　I　was　pre…occupied。　I　knew　those　moments　at　the　monastery　had　given　me　a　glimpse　into　the　wonderland　of　her　soul　that　made　me　long　for　more。　It　was　rapidly　becoming　clear　to　me　that　unless　my　intentions　developed　on　very　different　lines　I　must　flee　Peshawar。　For　love　is　born　of　sympathy；　and　sympathy　was　strengthening　daily；　but　for　love　I　had　no　courage　yet。

I　feared　it　as　men　fear　the　unknown。　I　despised　myself　…　but　I　feared。　I　will　confess　my　egregious　folly　and　vanity　…　I　had　no　doubt　as　to　her　reception　of　my　offer　if　I　should　make　it；　but　possessed　by　a　colossal　selfishness；　I　thought　only　of　myself；　and　from　that　point　of　view　could　not　decide　how　I　stood　to　lose　or　gain。　In　my　wildest　accesses　of　vanity　I　did　not　suppose　Vanna　loved　me；　but　I　felt　she　liked　me；　and　I　believe　the　advantages　I　had　to　offer　would　be　overwhelming　to　a　woman　in　her　position。　So；　tossed　on　the　waves　of　indecision；　I　inclined　to　flight。

That　night　I　resolutely　began　my　packing；　and　wrote　a　note　of　farewell　to　Lady　Meryon。　The　next　morning　I　furiously　undid　it；　and　destroyed　the　note。　And　that　afternoon　I　took　the　shortest　way　to　the　sun…set　road　to　lounge　about　and　wait　for　Vanna　and　Winifred。　She　never　came；　and　I　was　as　unreasonably　angry　as　if　I　had　deserved　the　blessing　of　her　presence。

Next　day　I　could　see　that　she　tried　gently　hut　clearly　to　discourage　our　meeting　and　for　three　days　I　never　saw　her　at　all。　Yet　I　knew　that　in　her　solitary　life　our　talks　counted　for　a　pleasure；　and　when　we　met　again　I　thought　I　saw　a　new　softness　in　the　lovely　hazel　deeps　of　her　eyes。



III　


On　the　day　when　things　became　clear　to　me；　I　was　walking　towards　the　Meryons'　gates　when　I　met　her　coming　alone　along　the　sunset　road；　in　the　late　gold　of　the　afternoon。　She　looked　pale　and　a　little　wearied；　and　I　remembered　I　wished　I　did　not　know　every　change　of　her　face　as　I　did。　It　was　a　symptom　that　alarmed　my　selfishness　…　it　galled　me　with　the　sense　that　I　was　no　longer　my　own　despot。

〃So　you　have　been　up　the　Khyber　Pass；〃　she　said　as　I　fell　into　step　at　her　side。　〃Tell　me　…　was　it　as　wonderful　as　you　expected？〃

〃No；　no；　…you　tell　me！　It　will　give　me　what　I　missed。　Begin　at　the　beginning。　Tell　me　what　I　saw。〃

I　could　not　miss　the　delight　of　her　words；　and　she　laughed；　knowing　my　whim。

〃Oh；　that　Pass！　…the　wonder　of　those　old　roads　that　have　borne　the　traffic　and　romance　of　the　world　for　ages。　Do　you　think　there　is　anything　in　the　world　so　fascinating　as　they　are？　But　did　you　go　on　Tuesday　or　Friday？〃

For　these　are　the　only　days　in　the　week　when　the　Khyber　can　be　safely　entered。　The　British　then　turn　out　the　Khyber　Rifles　and　man　every　crag；　and　the　loaded　caravans　move　like　a　tide；　and　go　up　and　down　the　narrow　road　on　their　occasions。

Naturally　mere　sightseers　are　not　welcomed；　for　much　business　must　be　got　through　in　that　urgent　forty　eight　hours　in　which　life　is　not　risked　in　entering。

〃Tuesday。　But　make　a　picture　for　me。〃

〃Well；　you　gave　your　word　not　to　photograph　or　sketch　…　as　if　one　wanted　to　when　every　bit　of　it　is　stamped　on　one's　brain！　And　you　went　up　to　Jumrood　Fort　at　the　entrance。　Did　they　tell　you　it　is　an　old　Sikh　Fort　and　has　been　on　duty　in　that　turbulent　place　for　five　hundred　years　And　did　you　see　the　machine　guns　in　the　court？　And　every　one　armed　…　even　the　boys　with　belts　of　cartridges？　Then　you　went　up　the　narrow　winding　track　between　the　mountains；　and　you　said　to　yourself；　'This　is　the　road　of　pure　romance。　It　goes　up　to　silken　Samarkhand；　and　I　can　ride　to　Bokhara　of　the　beautiful　women　and　to　all　the　dreams。　Am　I　alive　and　is　it　real？'　You　felt　that？〃

〃All。　Every　bit。　Go　on！〃

She　smiled　with　pleasure。

〃And　you　saw　the　little　forts　on　the　crags　and　the　men　on　guard　all　along　the　bills；　rifles　ready！　You　could　hear　the　guns　rattle　as　they　saluted。　Do　you　know　that　up　there　men　plough　with　rifles　loaded　beside　them？　They　have　to　be　men　indeed。〃

〃Do　you　mean　to　imply　that　we　are　not　men？〃

〃Different　men　at　least。　This　is　life　in　a　Border　ballad。　Such　a　life　as　you　knew　in　France　but　beautiful　in　a　wild　…　hawk　sort　of　way。　Don't　the　Khyber　Rifles　bewilder　you？　They　are　drawn　from　these　very　Hill　tribes；　and　will　shoot　their　own　fathers　and　brothers　in　the　way　of　duty　as　comfortably　as　if　they　were　jackals。　Once　there　was　a　scrap　here　and　one　of　the　tribesmen　sniped　our　men　unbearably。　What　do　you　suppose　happened？　A　Khyber　Rifle　came　to　the　Colonel　and　said；　'Let　me　put　an　end　to　him；　Colonel　Sahib。　I　know　exactly　where　he　sits。　He　is　my　grandfather。'　And　he　did　it！〃

〃The　bond　of　bread　and　salt？〃

〃Yes；　and　discipline。　I'm　sometimes　half　frightened　of　discipline。　It　moulds　a　man　like　wax。　Even　God　doesn't　do　that。　Well　…　then　you　had　the　traders　…　wild　shaggy　men　in　sheepskin　and　women　in　massive　jewelry　of　silver　and　turquoise；…great　earrings；　heavy　bracelets　loading　their　arms；　wild；　fierce；　handsome。　And　the　camels　…　thousands　of　them；　some　going　up；　some　coming　down；　a　mass　of　human　and　animal　life。　Above　you；　moving　figures　against　the　keen　blue　sky；　or　deep　below　you　in　the　ravines。

〃The　camels　were　swaying　along　with　huge　bales　of　goods；　and　dark　beautiful　women　in　wicker　cages　perched　on　them。　Silks　and　carpets　from　Bokhara；　and　blue　…　eyed　Persian　cats；　and　bluer　Persian　turquoises。　Wonderful！　And　the　dust；　gilded　by　the　sunshine；　makes　a　vaporous　golden　atmosphere　for　it　all。〃

〃What　was　the　most　wonderful　thing　you　saw　there？〃

〃The　most　beautiful；　I　think；　was　a　man　…　a　splendid　dark　ruffian　lounging　along。　He　wanted　to　show　off；　and　his　swagger　was　perfect。　Long　black　onyx　eyes　and　a　tumble　of　black　curls；　and　teeth　like　almonds。　But　what　do　you　think　he　carried　on　his　wrist　…　a　hawk　with　fierce　yellow　eyes；　ringed　and　chained。　Hawking　is　a　favourite　sport　in　the　hills。　Oh；　why　doesn't　some　great　painter　come　and　paint　it　all　before　they　take　to　trains　and　cars？　I　long　to　see　it　all　again；　but　I　never　shall。〃

〃Why　not；〃　said　I。　〃Surely　Sir　John　can　get　you　up　there　any　day？〃

〃Not　now。　The　fighting　makes　it　difficult。　But　it　isn't　that。　I　am　leaving。〃

〃Leaving？〃　My　heart　gave　a　leap。　〃Why？　Where？〃

〃Leaving　Lady　Meryon。〃

〃Why　…　for　Heaven's　sake？〃

〃I　had　rather　not　tell　you。〃

〃But　I　must　know