the ninth vibration-第10章

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nd　jailors　relax　their　guard；　it　can　escape　their　clutches；　it　will　seek　at　once　the　region　of　its　birth　and　its　true　home。〃

Well　…　the　shell　must　break　before　the　bird　can　fly；　and　the　time　drew　near　for　the　faithful　servant　to　seek　his　lord。　My　message　reached　him　in　time　and　gladdened　him。

I　turned　then　to　Clifden's　letter。

〃Dear　Olesen；　you　will　have　forgotten　me；　and　feeling　sure　of　this　I　should　scarcely　have　intruded　a　letter　into　your　busy　life　were　it　not　that　I　remember　your　good…nature　as　a　thing　unforgettable　though　so　many　years　have　gone　by。　I　hear　of　you　sometimes　when　Sleigh　comes　up　the　Sind　valley；　for　I　often　camp　at　Sonamarg　and　above　the　Zoji　La　and　farther。　I　want　you　to　give　a　message　to　a　man　you　know　who　should　be　expecting　to　hear　from　me。　Tell　him　I　shall　be　at　the　Tashigong　Monastery　when　he　reaches　Gyumur　beyond　the　Shipki。　Tell　him　I　have　the　information　he　wants　and　I　will　willingly　go　on　with　him　to　Yarkhand　and　his　destination。　He　need　not　arrange　for　men　beyond　Gyumur。　All　is　fixed。　So　sorry　to　bother　you；　old　man；　but　I　don't　know　Ormond's　address；　except　that　he　was　with　you　and　has　gone　up　Simla　way。　And　of　course　he　will　be　keen　to　hear　the　thing　is　settled。〃

Amazing。　I　remembered　the　message　I　had　heard　and　this　man's　words　rang　true　and　kindly；　but　what　could　it　mean？　I　really　did　not　question　farther　than　this　for　now　I　could　not　doubt　that　I　was　guided。　Stronger　hands　than　mine　had　me　in　charge；　and　it　only　remained　for　me　to　set　forth　in　confidence　and　joy　to　an　end　that　as　yet　I　could　not　discern。　I　turned　my　face　gladly　to　the　wonder　of　the　mountains。

Gladly　…　but　with　a　reservation。　I　was　leaving　a　friend　and　one　whom　I　dimly　felt　might　one　day　be　more　than　a　friend　…　Brynhild　Ingmar。　That　problem　must　be　met　before　I　could　take　my　way。　I　thought　much　of　what　might　be　said　at　parting。　True；　she　had　the　deepest　attraction　for　me；　but　true　also　that　I　now　beheld　a　quest　stretching　out　into　the　unknown　which　I　must　accept　in　the　spirit　of　the　knight　errant。　Dare　I　then　bind　my　heart　to　any　allegiance　which　would　pledge　me　to　a　future　inconsistent　with　what　lay　before　me？　How　could　I　tell　what　she　might　think　of　the　things　which　to　me　were　now　real　and　external　…　the　revelation　of　the　only　reality　that　underlies　all　the　seeming。　Life　can　never　be　the　same　for　the　man　who　has　penetrated　to　this；　and　though　it　may　seem　a　hard　saying　there　can　be　but　a　maimed　understanding　between　him　and　those　who　still　walk　amid　the　phantoms　of　death　and　decay。

Her　sympathy　with　nature　was　deep　and　wonderful　but　might　it　not　be　that　though　the　earth　was　eloquent　to　her　the　skies　were　silent？　I　was　but　a　beginner　myself　…　I　knew　little　indeed。　Dare　I　risk　that　little　in　a　sweet　companionship　which　would　sink　me　into　the　contentment　of　the　life　lived　by　the　happily　deluded　between　the　cradle　and　the　grave　and　perhaps　close　to　me　for　ever　that　still　sphere　where　my　highest　hope　abides？　I　had　much　to　ponder；　for　how　could　I　lose　her　out　of　my　life　…　though　I　knew　not　at　all　whether　she　who　had　so　much　to　make　her　happiness　would　give　me　a　single　thought　when　I　was　gone。

If　all　this　seem　the　very　uttermost　of　selfish　vanity；　forgive　a　man　who　grasped　in　his　hand　a　treasure　so　new；　so　wonderful　that　he　walked　in　fear　and　doubt　lest　it　should　slip　away　and　leave　him　in　a　world　darkened　for　ever　by　the　torment　of　the　knowledge　that　it　might　have　been　his　and　he　had　bartered　it　for　the　mess　of　pottage　that　has　bought　so　many　birthrights　since　Jacob　bargained　with　his　weary　brother　in　the　tents　of　Lahai…roi。　I　thought　I　would　come　back　later　with　my　prize　gained　and　throwing　it　at　her　feet　ask　her　wisdom　in　return；　for　whatever　I　might　not　know　I　knew　well　she　was　wiser　than　I　except　in　that　one　shining　of　the　light　from　Eleusis。　I　walked　alone　in　the　woods　thinking　of　these　things　and　no　answer　satisfied　me。

I　did　not　see　her　alone　until　the　day　I　left；　for　I　was　compelled　by　the　arrangements　I　was　making　to　go　down　to　Simla　for　a　night。　And　now　the　last　morning　had　come　with　golden　sun　…　shot　mists　rolling　upward　to　disclose　the　far　white　billows　of　the　sea　of　eternity；　the　mountains　awaking　to　their　enormous　joys。　The　trees　were　dripping　glory　to　the　steaming　earth；　it　flowed　like　rivers　into　their　most　secret　recesses；　moss　and　flower；　fern　and　leaf　floated　upon　the　waves　of　light　revealing　their　inmost　soul　in　triumphant　gladness。　Far　off　across　the　valleys　a　cuckoo　was　calling　…　the　very　voice　of　spring；　and　in　the　green　world　above　my　head　a　bird　sang；　a　feathered　joy；　so　clear；　so　passionate　that　I　thought　the　great　summer　morning　listened　in　silence　to　his　rapture　ringing　through　the　woods。　I　waited　until　the　Jubilate　was　ended　and　then　went　in　to　bid　good…bye　to　my　friends。

Mrs。　Ingmar　bid　me　the　kindest　farewell　and　I　left　her　serene　in　the　negation　of　all　beauty；　all　hope　save　that　of　a　world　run　on　the　lines　of　a　model　municipality；　disease　a　memory；　sewerage；　light　and　air　systems　perfected；　the　charted　brain　sending　its　costless　messages　to　the　outer　parts　of　the　habitable　globe；　and　at　least　a　hundred　years　of　life　with　a　decent　cremation　at　the　end　of　it　assured　to　every　eugenically　born　citizen。　No　more。　But　I　have　long　ceased　to　regret　that　others　use　their　own　eyes　whether　clear　or　dim。　Better　the　merest　glimmer　of　light　perceived　thus　than　the　hearsay　of　the　revelations　of　others。　And　by　the　broken　fragments　of　a　bewildered　hope　a　man　shall　eventually　reach　the　goal　and　rejoice　in　that　dawn　where　the　morning　stars　sing　together　and　the　sons　of　God　shout　for　joy。　It　must　come；　for　it　is　already　here。

Brynhild　walked　with　me　through　the　long　glades　in　the　fresh　thin　air　to　the　bridle　road　where　my　men　and　ponies　waited；　eager　to　be　off。　We　stood　at　last　in　the　fringe　of　trees　on　a　small　height　which　commanded　the　way；　…　a　high　uplifted　path　cut　along　the　shoulders　of　the　hills　and　on　the　left　the　sheer　drop　of　the　valleys。　Perhaps　seven　or　eight　feet　in　width　and　dignified　by　the　name　of　the　Great　Hindustan　and　Tibet　Road　it　ran　winding　far　away　into　Wonderland。　Looking　down　into　the　valleys；　so　far　beneath　that　the　solitudes　seem　to　wall　them　in　I　thought　of　all　the　strange　caravans　which　have　taken　this　way　with　tinkle　of　bells　and　laughter　now　so　long　silenced；　and　as　I　looked　I　saw　a　lost　little　monastery　in　a　giant　crevice；　solitary　as　a　planet　on　the　outermost　ring　of　the　system；　and　remembrance　flashed　into　my　mind　and　I　said；

〃I　have　marching　orders　that　have　countermanded　my　own　plans。　I　am　to　journey　to　the　Buddhist　Monastery　of　Tashigong；　and　there　meet　a　friend　who　will　tell　me　what　is　necessary　that　I　may　travel　to　Yarkhand　and　beyond。　It　will　be　long　before　I　see　Kashmir。〃

In　those　crystal　clear　eyes　I　saw　a　something　new　to　me　…　a　faint　smile；　half　pitying；　half　sad；

〃Who　told　you；　and　where？〃

〃A　girl　in　a　strange　place。　A　woman　who　has　twice　guided　me　…〃

I　broke　off。　Her　smile　perplexed　me。　I　could　not　tell　what　to　say。　She　repeated　in　a　soft　undertone；

〃Great　Lady；　be　pitiful　to　the　blind　eyes　and　give　them　light。〃

And　instantly　I　knew。　0　blind　…　blind！　Was　the　unhappy　King　of　the　story　duller　of　heart　than　I？　And　shame　possessed　me。　Here　was　the　chrysoberyl　that　all　day　hides　its　secret　in　deeps　of　lucid　green　but　when　the　night　comes　flames　with　its　fiery　ecstasy　of　crimson　to　the　moon；　and　I　…　I　had　been　complacently　considering　whether　I　might　not　blunt　my　own　spiritual　instinct　by　companionship　with　her；　while　she　had　been　my　guide；　as　infinitely　beyond　me　in　insight　as　she　was　in　all　things　beautiful。　I　could　have　kissed　her　feet　in　my　deep　repentance。　True　it　is　that　the　gateway　of　the　high　places　is　reverence　and　he　who　cannot　bow　his　head　shall　receive　no　crown。　I　saw　that　my　long　travel　in　search　of　knowledge　would　have　been　utterly　vain　if　I　had　not　learnt　that　lesson　there　and　then。　In　those　moments　of　silence　I　learnt　it　once　and　for　ever。

She　stood　by　me　breathing　the　liquid　morning　air；　her　face　turned　upon　the　eternal　snows。　I　caught　her　hand　in　a　recognition　that　might　have　ended　years　of　parting；　and　its　warm　youth　vibrated　in　mine；　the　foretaste　of　all　understanding；　all　unions；　of　love　that　asks　nothing；　that　fea