end of the tether-第38章

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storeroom　with　iron　sides；　iron　roof；　iron…plated　floor；



too；　on　account　of　the　heat　below。　　All　sorts　of　rubbish



was　shot　there：　it　had　a　mound　of　scrap…iron　in　a　corner；



rows　of　empty　oil…cans；　sacks　of　cotton…waste；　with　a



heap　of　charcoal；　a　deck…forge；　fragments　of　an　old　hen…



coop；　winch…covers　all　in　rags；　remnants　of　lamps；　and



a　brown　felt　hat；　discarded　by　a　man　dead　now　（of　a



fever　on　the　Brazil　coast）；　who　had　been　once　mate　of



the　Sofala；　had　remained　for　years　jammed　forcibly　be…



hind　a　length　of　burst　copper　pipe；　flung　at　some　time



or　other　out　of　the　engine…room。　　A　complete　and　im…



perious　blackness　pervaded　that　Capharnaum　of　for…



gotten　things。　　A　small　shaft　of　light　from　Mr。　Massy's



bull's…eye　fell　slanting　right　through　it。







His　coat　was　unbuttoned；　he　shot　the　bolt　of　the　door



（there　was　no　other　opening）；　and；　squatting　before　the



scrap…heap；　began　to　pack　his　pockets　with　pieces　of



iron。　　He　packed　them　carefully；　as　if　the　rusty　nuts；



the　broken　bolts；　the　links　of　cargo　chain；　had　been　so



much　gold　he　had　that　one　chance　to　carry　away。　　He



packed　his　side…pockets　till　they　bulged；　the　breast



pocket；　the　pockets　inside。　　He　turned　over　the　pieces。



Some　he　rejected。　　A　small　mist　of　powdered　rust　began



to　rise　about　his　busy　hands。　　Mr。　Massy　knew　some…



thing　of　the　scientific　basis　of　his　clever　trick。　　If　you



want　to　deflect　the　magnetic　needle　of　a　ship's　compass；



soft　iron　is　the　best；　likewise　many　small　pieces　in　the



pockets　of　a　jacket　would　have　more　effect　than　a　few



large　ones；　because　in　that　way　you　obtain　a　greater



amount　of　surface　for　weight　in　your　iron；　and　it's　sur…



face　that　tells。







He　slipped　out　swiftlytwo　strides　sufficedand　in



his　cabin　he　perceived　that　his　hands　were　all　redred



with　rust。　　It　disconcerted　him；　as　though　he　had　found



them　covered　with　blood：　he　looked　himself　over　hastily。



Why；　his　trowsers　too！　　He　had　been　rubbing　his　rusty



palms　on　his　legs。







He　tore　off　the　waistband　button　in　his　haste；　brushed



his　coat；　washed　his　hands。　　Then　the　air　of　guilt　left



him；　and　he　sat　down　to　wait。







He　sat　bolt　upright　and　weighted　with　iron　in　his



chair。　　He　had　a　hard；　lumpy　bulk　against　each　hip；



felt　the　scrappy　iron　in　his　pockets　touch　his　ribs　at



every　breath；　the　downward　drag　of　all　these　pounds



hanging　upon　his　shoulders。　　He　looked　very　dull　too；



sitting　idle　there；　and　his　yellow　face；　with　motionless



black　eyes；　had　something　passive　and　sad　in　its　quiet…



ness。







When　he　heard　eight　bells　struck　above　his　head；　he



rose　and　made　ready　to　go　out。　　His　movements　seemed



aimless；　his　lower　lip　had　dropped　a　little；　his　eyes



roamed　about　the　cabin；　and　the　tremendous　tension　of



his　will　had　robbed　them　of　every　vestige　of　intelligence。







With　the　last　stroke　of　the　bell　the　Serang　appeared



noiselessly　on　the　bridge　to　relieve　the　mate。　　Sterne



overflowed　with　good　nature；　since　he　had　nothing　more



to　desire。







〃Got　your　eyes　well　open　yet；　Serang？　　It's　middling



dark；　I'll　wait　till　you　get　your　sight　properly。〃







The　old　Malay　murmured；　looked　up　with　his　worn



eyes；　sidled　away　into　the　light　of　the　binnacle；　and；



crossing　his　hands　behind　his　back；　fixed　his　eyes　on　the



compass…card。







〃You'll　have　to　keep　a　good　look…out　ahead　for



land；　about　half…past　three。　　It's　fairly　clear；　though。



You　have　looked　in　on　the　captain　as　you　came



alongeh？　　He　knows　the　time？　　Well；　then；　I　am



off。〃







At　the　foot　of　the　ladder　he　stood　aside　for　the　captain。



He　watched　him　go　up　with　an　even；　certain　tread；　and



remained　thoughtful　for　a　moment。　　〃It's　funny；〃　he



said　to　himself；　〃but　you　can　never　tell　whether　that



man　has　seen　you　or　not。　　He　might　have　heard　me



breathe　this　time。〃







He　was　a　wonderful　man　when　all　was　said　and　done。



They　said　he　had　had　a　name　in　his　day。　　Mr。　Sterne



could　well　believe　it；　and　he　concluded　serenely　that



Captain　Whalley　must　be　able　to　see　people　more　or　less



as　himself　just　now；　for　instancebut　not　being　cer…



tain　of　anybody；　had　to　keep　up　that　unnoticing　silence



of　manner　for　fear　of　giving　himself　away。　　Mr。　Sterne



was　a　shrewd　guesser。







This　necessity　of　every　moment　brought　home　to　Cap…



tain　Whalley's　heart　the　humiliation　of　his　falsehood。



He　had　drifted　into　it　from　paternal　love；　from　in…



credulity；　from　boundless　trust　in　divine　justice　meted



out　to　men's　feelings　on　this　earth。　　He　would　give　his



poor　Ivy　the　benefit　of　another　month's　work；　perhaps



the　affliction　was　only　temporary。　　Surely　God　would



not　rob　his　child　of　his　power　to　help；　and　cast　him



naked　into　a　night　without　end。　　He　had　caught　at



every　hope；　and　when　the　evidence　of　his　misfortune



was　stronger　than　hope；　he　tried　not　to　believe　the　mani…



fest　thing。







In　vain。　　In　the　steadily　darkening　universe　a　sinister



clearness　fell　upon　his　ideas。　　In　the　illuminating　mo…



ments　of　suffering　he　saw　life；　men；　all　things；　the　whole



earth　with　all　her　burden　of　created　nature；　as　he　had



never　seen　them　before。







Sometimes　he　was　seized　with　a　sudden　vertigo　and　an



overwhelming　terror；　and　then　the　image　of　his　daughter



appeared。　　Her；　too；　he　had　never　seen　so　clearly　before。



Was　it　possible　that　he　should　ever　be　unable　to　do



anything　whatever　for　her？　　Nothing。　　And　not　see



her　any　more？　　Never。







Why？　　The　punishment　was　too　great　for　a　little　pre…



sumption；　for　a　little　pride。　　And　at　last　he　came　to



cling　to　his　deception　with　a　fierce　determination　to　carry



it　out　to　the　end；　to　save　her　money　intact；　and　behold



her　once　more　with　his　own　eyes。　　Afterwardswhat？



The　idea　of　suicide　was　revolting　to　the　vigor　of　his



manhood。　　He　had　prayed　for　death　till　the　prayers　had



stuck　in　his　throat。　　All　the　days　of　his　life　he　had



prayed　for　daily　bread；　and　not　to　be　led　into　tempta…



tion；　in　a　childlike　humility　of　spirit。　　Did　words　mean



anything？　　Whence　did　the　gift　of　speech　come？　　The



violent　beating　of　his　heart　reverberated　in　his　head



seemed　to　shake　his　brain　to　pieces。







He　sat　down　heavily　in　the　deck…chair　to　keep　the　pre…



tense　of　his　watch。　　The　night　was　dark。　　All　the　nights



were　dark　now。







〃Serang；〃　he　said；　half　aloud。







〃Ada；　Tuan。　　I　am　here。〃







〃There　are　clouds　on　the　sky？〃







〃There　are；　Tuan。〃







〃Let　her　be　steered　straight。　　North。〃







〃She　is　going　north；　Tuan。〃







The　Serang　stepped　back。　　Captain　Whalley　recog…



nized　Massy's　footfalls　on　the　bridge。







The　engineer　walked　over　to　port　and　returned；　pass…



ing　behind　the　chair　several　times。　　Captain　Whalley



detected　an　unusual　character　as　of　prudent　care　in　this



prowling。　　The　near　presence　of　that　man　brought　with



it　always　a　recrudescence　of　moral　suffering　for　Captain



Whalley。　　It　was　not　remorse。　　After　all；　he　had　done



nothing　but　good　to　the　poor　devil。　　There　was　also



a　sense　of　dangerthe　necessity　of　a　greater　care。







Massy　stopped　and　said







〃So　you　still　say　you　must　go？〃







〃I　must　indeed。〃







〃And　you　couldn't　at　least　leave　the　money　for　a　term



of　years？〃







〃Impossible。〃







〃Can't　trust　it　with　me　without　your　care；　eh？〃







Captain　Whalley　remained　silent。　　Massy　sighed



deeply　over　the　back　of　the　chair。