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第73章

st. ives-第73章

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friend。  'Bring him by all means!





〃The harp; his sole remaining joy;

Was carried by an orphan boy;〃





and I have no doubt the orphan boy can get some cold victuals in 

the kitchen; while the Senatus dines。'



Accordingly; being now quite recovered from my unmanly condition; 

except that nothing could yet induce me to cross the North Bridge; 

I arranged for my ball dress at a shop in Leith Street; where I was 

not served ill; cut out Rowley from his seclusion; and was ready 

along with him at the trysting…place; the corner of Duke Street and 

York Place; by a little after two。  The University was represented 

in force: eleven persons; including ourselves; Byfield the 

aeronaut; and the tall lad; Forbes; whom I had met on the Sunday 

morning; bedewed with tallow; at the 'Hunters' Rest。'  I was 

introduced; and we set off by way of Newhaven and the sea beach; at 

first through pleasant country roads; and afterwards along a 

succession of bays of a fairylike prettiness; to our destination … 

Cramond on the Almond … a little hamlet on a little river; 

embowered in woods; and looking forth over a great flat of 

quicksand to where a little islet stood planted in the sea。  It was 

miniature scenery; but charming of its kind。  The air of this good 

February afternoon was bracing; but not cold。  All the way my 

companions were skylarking; jesting and making puns; and I felt as 

if a load had been taken off my lungs and spirits; and skylarked 

with the best of them。



Byfield I observed; because I had heard of him before; and seen his 

advertisements; not at all because I was disposed to feel interest 

in the man。  He was dark and bilious and very silent; frigid in his 

manners; but burning internally with a great fire of excitement; 

and he was so good as to bestow a good deal of his company and 

conversation (such as it was) upon myself; who was not in the least 

grateful。  If I had known how I was to be connected with him in the 

immediate future; I might have taken more pains。



In the hamlet of Cramond there is a hostelry of no very promising 

appearance; and here a room had been prepared for us; and we sat 

down to table。



'Here you will find no guttling or gormandising; no turtle or 

nightingales' tongues;' said the extravagant; whose name; by the 

way; was Dalmahoy。  'The device; sir; of the University of Cramond 

is Plain Living and High Drinking。'



Grace was said by the Professor of Divinity; in a macaronic Latin; 

which I could by no means follow; only I could hear it rhymed; and 

I guessed it to be more witty than reverent。  After which the 

SENATUS ACADEMICUS sat down to rough plenty in the shape of 

rizzar'd haddocks and mustard; a sheep's head; a haggis; and other 

delicacies of Scotland。  The dinner was washed down with brown 

stout in bottle; and as soon as the cloth was removed; glasses; 

boiling water; sugar; and whisky were set out for the manufacture 

of toddy。  I played a good knife and fork; did not shun the bowl; 

and took part; so far as I was able; in the continual fire of 

pleasantry with which the meal was seasoned。  Greatly daring; I 

ventured; before all these Scotsmen; to tell Sim's Tale of 

Tweedie's dog; and I was held to have done such extraordinary 

justice to the dialect; 'for a Southron;' that I was immediately 

voted into the Chair of Scots; and became; from that moment; a full 

member of the University of Cramond。  A little after; I found 

myself entertaining them with a song; and a little after … perhaps 

a little in consequence … it occurred to me that I had had enough; 

and would be very well inspired to take French leave。  It was not 

difficult to manage; for it was nobody's business to observe my 

movements; and conviviality had banished suspicion。



I got easily forth of the chamber; which reverberated with the 

voices of these merry and learned gentlemen; and breathed a long 

breath。  I had passed an agreeable afternoon and evening; and I had 

apparently escaped scot free。  Alas! when I looked into the 

kitchen; there was my monkey; drunk as a lord; toppling on the edge 

of the dresser; and performing on the flageolet to an audience of 

the house lasses and some neighbouring ploughmen。



I routed him promptly from his perch; stuck his hat on; put his 

instrument in his pocket; and set off with him for Edinburgh。



His limbs were of paper; his mind quite in abeyance; I must uphold 

and guide him; prevent his frantic dives; and set him continually 

on his legs again。  At first he sang wildly; with occasional 

outbursts of causeless laughter。  Gradually an inarticulate 

melancholy succeeded; he wept gently at times; would stop in the 

middle of the road; say firmly 'No; no; no;' and then fall on his 

back: or else address me solemnly as 'M'lord' and fall on his face 

by way of variety。  I am afraid I was not always so gentle with the 

little pig as I might have been; but really the position was 

unbearable。  We made no headway at all; and I suppose we were 

scarce gotten a mile away from Cramond; when the whole SENATUS 

ACADEMICUS was heard hailing; and doubling the pace to overtake 

its。



Some of them were fairly presentable; and they were all Christian 

martyrs compared to Rowley; but they were in a frolicsome and 

rollicking humour that promised danger as we approached the town。  

They sang songs; they ran races; they fenced with their walking…

sticks and umbrellas; and; in spite of this violent exercise; the 

fun grew only the more extravagant with the miles they traversed。  

Their drunkenness was deep…seated and permanent; like fire in a 

peat; or rather … to be quite just to them … it was not so much to 

be called drunkenness at all; as the effect of youth and high 

spirits … a fine night; and the night young; a good road under 

foot; and the world before you!



I had left them once somewhat unceremoniously; I could not attempt 

it a second time; and; burthened as I was with Mr。 Rowley; I was 

really glad of assistance。  But I saw the lamps of Edinburgh draw 

near on their hill…top with a good deal of uneasiness; which 

increased; after we had entered the lighted streets; to positive 

alarm。  All the passers…by were addressed; some of them by name。  A 

worthy man was stopped by Forbes。  'Sir;' said he; 'in the name of 

the Senatus of the University of Cramond; I confer upon you the 

degree of LL。D。;' and with the words he bonneted him。  Conceive the 

predicament of St。 Ives; committed to the society of these 

outrageous youths; in a town where the police and his cousin were 

both looking for him!  So far; we had pursued our way unmolested; 

although raising a clamour fit to wake the dead; but at last; in 

Abercromby Place; I believe … at least it was a crescent of highly 

respectable houses fronting on a garden … Byfield and I; having 

fallen somewhat in the rear with Rowley; came to a simultaneous 

halt。  Our ruffians were beginning to wrench off bells and door…

plates!



'Oh; I say!' says Byfield; 'this is too much of a good thing!  

Confound it; I'm a respectable man … a public character; by George!  

I can't afford to get taken up by the police。'



'My own case exactly;' said I。



'Here; let's bilk them;' said he。



And we turned back and took our way down hill again。



It was none too soon: voices and alarm bells sounded; watchmen here 

and there began to spring their rattles; it was plain the 

University of Cramond would soon be at blows with the police of 

Edinburgh!  Byfield and I; running the semi…inanimate Rowley before 

us; made good despatch; and did not stop till we were several 

streets away; and the hubbub was already softened by distance。



'Well; sir;' said he; 'we are well out of that!  Did ever any one 

see such a pack of young barbarians?'



'We are properly punished; Mr。 Byfield; we had no business there;' 

I replied。



'No; indeed; sir; you may 

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