st. ives-第72章
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will admit the epithet to have been justified。
Meanwhile the appearance of my landlady added a great load of
anxiety to what I already suffered。 It was plain that she had not
slept; equally plain that she had wept copiously。 She sighed; she
groaned; she drew in her breath; she shook her head; as she waited
on table。 In short; she seemed in so precarious a state; like a
petard three times charged with hysteria; that I did not dare to
address her; and stole out of the house on tiptoe; and actually ran
downstairs; in the fear that she might call me back。 It was plain
that this degree of tension could not last long。
It was my first care to go to George Street; which I reached (by
good luck) as a boy was taking down the bank shutters。 A man was
conversing with him; he had white stockings and a moleskin
waistcoat; and was as ill…looking a rogue as you would want to see
in a day's journey。 This seemed to agree fairly well with Rowley's
SIGNALEMENT: he had declared emphatically (if you remember); and
had stuck to it besides; that the companion of the great Lavender
was no beauty。
Thence I made my way to Mr。 Robbie's; where I rang the bell。 A
servant answered the summons; and told me the lawyer was engaged;
as I had half expected。
'Wha shall I say was callin'?' she pursued; and when I had told her
'Mr。 Ducie;' 'I think this'll be for you; then?' she added; and
handed me a letter from the hall table。 It ran:
'DEAR MR。 DUCIE;
'My single advice to you is to leave QUAM PRIMUM for the South。
Yours; T。 ROBBIE。'
That was short and sweet。 It emphatically extinguished hope in one
direction。 No more was to be gotten of Robbie; and I wondered;
from my heart; how much had been told him。 Not too much; I hoped;
for I liked the lawyer who had thus deserted me; and I placed a
certain reliance in the discretion of Chevenix。 He would not be
merciful; on the other hand; I did not think he would be cruel
without cause。
It was my next affair to go back along George Street; and assure
myself whether the man in the moleskin vest was still on guard。
There was no sign of him on the pavement。 Spying the door of a
common stair nearly opposite the bank; I took it in my head that
this would be a good point of observation; crossed the street;
entered with a businesslike air and fell immediately against the
man in the moleskin vest。 I stopped and apologised to him; he
replied in an unmistakable English accent; thus putting the matter
almost beyond doubt。 After this encounter I must; of course;
ascend to the top story; ring the bell of a suite of apartments;
inquire for Mr。 Vavasour; learn (with no great surprise) that he
did not live there; come down again and; again politely saluting
the man from Bow Street; make my escape at last into the street。
I was now driven back upon the Assembly Ball。 Robbie had failed
me。 The bank was watched; it would never do to risk Rowley in that
neighbourhood。 All I could do was to wait until the morrow
evening; and present myself at the Assembly; let it end as it
might。 But I must say I came to this decision with a good deal of
genuine fright; and here I came for the first time to one of those
places where my courage stuck。 I do not mean that my courage
boggled and made a bit of a bother over it; as it did over the
escape from the Castle; I mean; stuck; like a stopped watch or a
dead man。 Certainly I would go to the ball; certainly I must see
this morning about my clothes。 That was all decided。 But the most
of the shops were on the other side of the valley; in the Old Town;
and it was now my strange discovery that I was physically unable to
cross the North Bridge! It was as though a precipice had stood
between us; or the deep sea had intervened。 Nearer to the Castle
my legs refused to bear me。
I told myself this was mere superstition; I made wagers with myself
… and gained them; I went down on the esplanade of Princes Street;
walked and stood there; alone and conspicuous; looking across the
garden at the old grey bastions of the fortress; where all these
troubles had begun。 I cocked my hat; set my hand on my hip; and
swaggered on the pavement; confronting detection。 And I found I
could do all this with a sense of exhilaration that was not
unpleasing; and with a certain CRANERIE of manner that raised me in
my own esteem。 And yet there was one thing I could not bring my
mind to face up to; or my limbs to execute; and that was to cross
the valley into the Old Town。 It seemed to me I must be arrested
immediately if I had done so; I must go straight into the twilight
of a prison cell; and pass straight thence to the gross and final
embraces of the nightcap and the halter。 And yet it was from no
reasoned fear of the consequences that I could not go。 I was
unable。 My horse baulked; and there was an end!
My nerve was gone: here was a discovery for a man in such imminent
peril; set down to so desperate a game; which I could only hope to
win by continual luck and unflagging effrontery! The strain had
been too long continued; and my nerve was gone。 I fell into what
they call panic fear; as I have seen soldiers do on the alarm of a
night attack; and turned out of Princes Street at random as though
the devil were at my heels。 In St。 Andrew Square; I remember
vaguely hearing some one call out。 I paid no heed; but pressed on
blindly。 A moment after; a hand fell heavily on my shoulder; and I
thought I had fainted。 Certainly the world went black about me for
some seconds; and when that spasm passed I found myself standing
face to face with the 'cheerful extravagant;' in what sort of
disarray I really dare not imagine; dead white at least; shaking
like an aspen; and mowing at the man with speechless lips。 And
this was the soldier of Napoleon; and the gentleman who intended
going next night to an Assembly Ball! I am the more particular in
telling of my breakdown; because it was my only experience of the
sort; and it is a good tale for officers。 I will allow no man to
call me coward; I have made my proofs; few men more。 And yet I
(come of the best blood in France and inured to danger from a
child) did; for some ten or twenty minutes; make this hideous
exhibition of myself on the streets of the New Town of Edinburgh。
With my first available breath I begged his pardon。 I was of an
extremely nervous disposition; recently increased by late hours; I
could not bear the slightest start。
He seemed much concerned。 'You must be in a devil of a state!'
said he; 'though of course it was my fault … damnably silly; vulgar
sort of thing to do! A thousand apologies! But you really must be
run down; you should consult a medico。 My dear sir; a hair of the
dog that bit you is clearly indicated。 A touch of Blue Ruin; now?
Or; come: it's early; but is man the slave of hours? what do you
say to a chop and a bottle in Dumbreck's Hotel?'
I refused all false comfort; but when he went on to remind me that
this was the day when the University of Cramond met; and to propose
a five…mile walk into the country and a dinner in the company of
young asses like himself; I began to think otherwise。 I had to
wait until to…morrow evening; at any rate; this might serve as well
as anything else to bridge the dreary hours。 The country was the
very place for me: and walking is an excellent sedative for the
nerves。 Remembering poor Rowley; feigning a cold in our lodgings
and immediately under the guns of the formidable and now doubtful
Bethiah; I asked if I might bring my servant。 'Poor devil! it is
dull for him;' I explained。
'The merciful man is merciful to his ass;' observed my sententious
friend。 'Bring him by all means!
〃The harp; his sole remaining joy;
Was carried by an orphan boy;〃