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第72章

st. ives-第72章

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will admit the epithet to have been justified。



Meanwhile the appearance of my landlady added a great load of 

anxiety to what I already suffered。  It was plain that she had not 

slept; equally plain that she had wept copiously。  She sighed; she 

groaned; she drew in her breath; she shook her head; as she waited 

on table。  In short; she seemed in so precarious a state; like a 

petard three times charged with hysteria; that I did not dare to 

address her; and stole out of the house on tiptoe; and actually ran 

downstairs; in the fear that she might call me back。  It was plain 

that this degree of tension could not last long。



It was my first care to go to George Street; which I reached (by 

good luck) as a boy was taking down the bank shutters。  A man was 

conversing with him; he had white stockings and a moleskin 

waistcoat; and was as ill…looking a rogue as you would want to see 

in a day's journey。  This seemed to agree fairly well with Rowley's 

SIGNALEMENT: he had declared emphatically (if you remember); and 

had stuck to it besides; that the companion of the great Lavender 

was no beauty。



Thence I made my way to Mr。 Robbie's; where I rang the bell。  A 

servant answered the summons; and told me the lawyer was engaged; 

as I had half expected。



'Wha shall I say was callin'?' she pursued; and when I had told her 

'Mr。 Ducie;' 'I think this'll be for you; then?' she added; and 

handed me a letter from the hall table。  It ran:





'DEAR MR。 DUCIE;



'My single advice to you is to leave QUAM PRIMUM for the South。



Yours; T。 ROBBIE。'





That was short and sweet。  It emphatically extinguished hope in one 

direction。  No more was to be gotten of Robbie; and I wondered; 

from my heart; how much had been told him。  Not too much; I hoped; 

for I liked the lawyer who had thus deserted me; and I placed a 

certain reliance in the discretion of Chevenix。  He would not be 

merciful; on the other hand; I did not think he would be cruel 

without cause。



It was my next affair to go back along George Street; and assure 

myself whether the man in the moleskin vest was still on guard。  

There was no sign of him on the pavement。  Spying the door of a 

common stair nearly opposite the bank; I took it in my head that 

this would be a good point of observation; crossed the street; 

entered with a businesslike air and fell immediately against the 

man in the moleskin vest。  I stopped and apologised to him; he 

replied in an unmistakable English accent; thus putting the matter 

almost beyond doubt。  After this encounter I must; of course; 

ascend to the top story; ring the bell of a suite of apartments; 

inquire for Mr。 Vavasour; learn (with no great surprise) that he 

did not live there; come down again and; again politely saluting 

the man from Bow Street; make my escape at last into the street。



I was now driven back upon the Assembly Ball。  Robbie had failed 

me。  The bank was watched; it would never do to risk Rowley in that 

neighbourhood。  All I could do was to wait until the morrow 

evening; and present myself at the Assembly; let it end as it 

might。  But I must say I came to this decision with a good deal of 

genuine fright; and here I came for the first time to one of those 

places where my courage stuck。  I do not mean that my courage 

boggled and made a bit of a bother over it; as it did over the 

escape from the Castle; I mean; stuck; like a stopped watch or a 

dead man。  Certainly I would go to the ball; certainly I must see 

this morning about my clothes。  That was all decided。  But the most 

of the shops were on the other side of the valley; in the Old Town; 

and it was now my strange discovery that I was physically unable to 

cross the North Bridge!  It was as though a precipice had stood 

between us; or the deep sea had intervened。  Nearer to the Castle 

my legs refused to bear me。



I told myself this was mere superstition; I made wagers with myself 

… and gained them; I went down on the esplanade of Princes Street; 

walked and stood there; alone and conspicuous; looking across the 

garden at the old grey bastions of the fortress; where all these 

troubles had begun。  I cocked my hat; set my hand on my hip; and 

swaggered on the pavement; confronting detection。  And I found I 

could do all this with a sense of exhilaration that was not 

unpleasing; and with a certain CRANERIE of manner that raised me in 

my own esteem。  And yet there was one thing I could not bring my 

mind to face up to; or my limbs to execute; and that was to cross 

the valley into the Old Town。  It seemed to me I must be arrested 

immediately if I had done so; I must go straight into the twilight 

of a prison cell; and pass straight thence to the gross and final 

embraces of the nightcap and the halter。  And yet it was from no 

reasoned fear of the consequences that I could not go。  I was 

unable。  My horse baulked; and there was an end!



My nerve was gone: here was a discovery for a man in such imminent 

peril; set down to so desperate a game; which I could only hope to 

win by continual luck and unflagging effrontery!  The strain had 

been too long continued; and my nerve was gone。  I fell into what 

they call panic fear; as I have seen soldiers do on the alarm of a 

night attack; and turned out of Princes Street at random as though 

the devil were at my heels。  In St。 Andrew Square; I remember 

vaguely hearing some one call out。  I paid no heed; but pressed on 

blindly。  A moment after; a hand fell heavily on my shoulder; and I 

thought I had fainted。  Certainly the world went black about me for 

some seconds; and when that spasm passed I found myself standing 

face to face with the 'cheerful extravagant;' in what sort of 

disarray I really dare not imagine; dead white at least; shaking 

like an aspen; and mowing at the man with speechless lips。  And 

this was the soldier of Napoleon; and the gentleman who intended 

going next night to an Assembly Ball!  I am the more particular in 

telling of my breakdown; because it was my only experience of the 

sort; and it is a good tale for officers。  I will allow no man to 

call me coward; I have made my proofs; few men more。  And yet I 

(come of the best blood in France and inured to danger from a 

child) did; for some ten or twenty minutes; make this hideous 

exhibition of myself on the streets of the New Town of Edinburgh。



With my first available breath I begged his pardon。  I was of an 

extremely nervous disposition; recently increased by late hours; I 

could not bear the slightest start。



He seemed much concerned。  'You must be in a devil of a state!' 

said he; 'though of course it was my fault … damnably silly; vulgar 

sort of thing to do!  A thousand apologies!  But you really must be 

run down; you should consult a medico。  My dear sir; a hair of the 

dog that bit you is clearly indicated。  A touch of Blue Ruin; now?  

Or; come: it's early; but is man the slave of hours? what do you 

say to a chop and a bottle in Dumbreck's Hotel?'



I refused all false comfort; but when he went on to remind me that 

this was the day when the University of Cramond met; and to propose 

a five…mile walk into the country and a dinner in the company of 

young asses like himself; I began to think otherwise。  I had to 

wait until to…morrow evening; at any rate; this might serve as well 

as anything else to bridge the dreary hours。  The country was the 

very place for me: and walking is an excellent sedative for the 

nerves。  Remembering poor Rowley; feigning a cold in our lodgings 

and immediately under the guns of the formidable and now doubtful 

Bethiah; I asked if I might bring my servant。  'Poor devil! it is 

dull for him;' I explained。



'The merciful man is merciful to his ass;' observed my sententious 

friend。  'Bring him by all means!





〃The harp; his sole remaining joy;

Was carried by an orphan boy;〃




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