st. ives-第61章
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night in your garden。 Will Miss Gilchrist not offer her hand … to
a friend in trouble?'
She extended it between the bars; and I dropped upon one knee on
the wet path and kissed it twice。 At the second it was withdrawn
suddenly; methought with more of a start than she had hitherto
displayed。 I regained my former attitude; and we were both silent
awhile。 My timidity returned on me tenfold。 I looked in her face
for any signals of anger; and seeing her eyes to waver and fall
aside from mine; augured that all was well。
'You must have been mad to come here!' she broke out。 'Of all
places under heaven this is no place for you to come。 And I was
just thinking you were safe in France!'
'You were thinking of me!' I cried。
'Mr。 St。 Ives; you cannot understand your danger;' she replied。 'I
am sure of it; and yet I cannot find it in my heart to tell you。
O; be persuaded; and go!'
'I believe I know the worst。 But I was never one to set an undue
value on life; the life that we share with beasts。 My university
has been in the wars; not a famous place of education; but one
where a man learns to carry his life in his hand as lightly as a
glove; and for his lady or his honour to lay it as lightly down。
You appeal to my fears; and you do wrong。 I have come to Scotland
with my eyes quite open to see you and to speak with you … it may
be for the last time。 With my eyes quite open; I say; and if I did
not hesitate at the beginning do you think that I would draw back
now?'
'You do not know!' she cried; with rising agitation。 'This
country; even this garden; is death to you。 They all believe it; I
am the only one that does not。 If they hear you now; if they heard
a whisper … I dread to think of it。 O; go; go this instant。 It is
my prayer。'
'Dear lady; do not refuse me what I have come so far to seek; and
remember that out of all the millions in England there is no other
but yourself in whom I can dare confide。 I have all the world
against me; you are my only ally; and as I have to speak; you have
to listen。 All is true that they say of me; and all of it false at
the same time。 I did kill this man Goguelat … it was that you
meant?'
She mutely signed to me that it was; she had become deadly pale。
'But I killed him in fair fight。 Till then; I had never taken a
life unless in battle; which is my trade。 But I was grateful; I
was on fire with gratitude; to one who had been good to me; who had
been better to me than I could have dreamed of an angel; who had
come into the darkness of my prison like sunrise。 The man Goguelat
insulted her。 O; he had insulted me often; it was his favourite
pastime; and he might insult me as he pleased … for who was I? But
with that lady it was different。 I could never forgive myself if I
had let it pass。 And we fought; and he fell; and I have no
remorse。'
I waited anxiously for some reply。 The worst was now out; and I
knew that she had heard of it before; but it was impossible for me
to go on with my narrative without some shadow of encouragement。
'You blame me?'
'No; not at all。 It is a point I cannot speak on … I am only a
girl。 I am sure you were in the right: I have always said so … to
Ronald。 Not; of course; to my aunt。 I am afraid I let her speak
as she will。 You must not think me a disloyal friend; and even
with the Major … I did not tell you he had become quite a friend of
ours … Major Chevenix; I mean … he has taken such a fancy to
Ronald! It was he that brought the news to us of that hateful
Clausel being captured; and all that he was saying。 I was
indignant with him。 I said … I dare say I said too much … and I
must say he was very good…natured。 He said; 〃You and I; who are
his friends; KNOW that Champdivers is innocent。 But what is the
use of saying it?〃 All this was in the corner of the room in what
they call an aside。 And then he said; 〃Give me a chance to speak
to you in private; I have much to tell you。〃 And he did。 And told
me just what you did … that it was an affair of honour; and no
blame attached to you。 O; I must say I like that Major Chevenix!'
At this I was seized with a great pang of jealousy。 I remembered
the first time that he had seen her; the interest that he seemed
immediately to conceive; and I could not but admire the dog for the
use he had been ingenious enough to make of our acquaintance in
order to supplant me。 All is fair in love and war。 For all that;
I was now no less anxious to do the speaking myself than I had been
before to hear Flora。 At least; I could keep clear of the hateful
image of Major Chevenix。 Accordingly I burst at once on the
narrative of my adventures。 It was the same as you have read; but
briefer; and told with a very different purpose。 Now every
incident had a particular bearing; every by…way branched off to
Rome … and that was Flora。
When I had begun to speak I had kneeled upon the gravel withoutside
the low window; rested my arms upon the sill; and lowered my voice
to the most confidential whisper。 Flora herself must kneel upon
the other side; and this brought our heads upon a level with only
the bars between us。 So placed; so separated; it seemed that our
proximity; and the continuous and low sounds of my pleading voice;
worked progressively and powerfully on her heart; and perhaps not
less so on my own。 For these spells are double…edged。 The silly
birds may be charmed with the pipe of the fowler; which is but a
tube of reeds。 Not so with a bird of our own feather! As I went
on; and my resolve strengthened; and my voice found new
modulations; and our faces were drawn closer to the bars and to
each other; not only she; but I; succumbed to the fascination; and
were kindled by the charm。 We make love; and thereby ourselves
fall the deeper in it。 It is with the heart only that one captures
a heart。
'And now;' I continued; 'I will tell you what you can still do for
me。 I run a little risk just now; and you see for yourself how
unavoidable it is for any man of honour。 But if … but in case of
the worst I do not choose to enrich either my enemies or the Prince
Regent。 I have here the bulk of what my uncle gave me。 Eight
thousand odd pounds。 Will you take care of it for me? Do not
think of it merely as money; take and keep it as a relic of your
friend or some precious piece of him。 I may have bitter need of it
ere long。 Do you know the old country story of the giant who gave
his heart to his wife to keep for him; thinking it safer to repose
on her loyalty than his own strength? Flora; I am the giant … a
very little one: will you be the keeper of my life? It is my heart
I offer you in this symbol。 In the sight of God; if you will have
it; I give you my name; I endow you with my money。 If the worst
come; if I may never hope to call you wife; let me at least think
that you will use my uncle's legacy as my widow。'
'No; not that;' she said。 'Never that。'
'What then?' I said。 'What else; my angel? What are words to me?
There is but one name that I care to know you by。 Flora; my love!'
'Anne!' she said。
What sound is so full of music as one's own name uttered for the
first time in the voice of her we love!
'My darling!' said I。
The jealous bars; set at the top and bottom in stone and lime;
obstructed the rapture of the moment; but I took her to myself as
wholly as they allowed。 She did not shun my lips。 My arms were
wound round her body; which yielded itself generously to my
embrace。 As we so remained; entwined and yet severed; bruising our
faces unconsciously on the cold bars; the irony of the universe …
or as I prefer to say; envy of some of the gods … again stirred up
the elements of that stormy night。 The wind blew again in the
tree…tops; a volley