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第56章

st. ives-第56章

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ass; whom the devil moved to be my enemy; proposed three cheers; 

and they were given with a will。  To hear my own name resounding 

amid acclamations in the hills of Westmorland was flattering; 

perhaps; but it was inconvenient at a moment when (as I was morally 

persuaded) police handbills were already speeding after me at the 

rate of a hundred miles a day。



Nor was that the end of it。  The archdeacon must present his 

compliments; and pressed upon me some of his West India sherry; and 

I was carried into a vastly fine library; where I was presented to 

his lady wife。  While we were at sherry in the library; ale was 

handed round upon the terrace。  Speeches were made; hands were 

shaken; Missy (at her father's request) kissed me farewell; and the 

whole party reaccompanied me to the terrace; where they stood 

waving hats and handkerchiefs; and crying farewells to all the 

echoes of the mountains until the chaise had disappeared。



The echoes of the mountains were engaged in saying to me privately: 

'You fool; you have done it now!'



'They do seem to have got 'old of your name; Mr。 Anne;' said 

Rowley。  'It weren't my fault this time。'



'It was one of those accidents that can never be foreseen;' said I; 

affecting a dignity that I was far from feeling。  'Some one 

recognised me。'



'Which on 'em; Mr。 Anne?' said the rascal。



'That is a senseless question; it can make no difference who it 

was;' I returned。



'No; nor that it can't!' cried Rowley。  'I say; Mr。 Anne; sir; it's 

what you would call a jolly mess; ain't it? looks like 〃clean 

bowled…out in the middle stump;〃 don't it?'



'I fail to understand you; Rowley。'



'Well; what I mean is; what are we to do about this one?' pointing 

to the postillion in front of us; as he alternately hid and 

revealed his patched breeches to the trot of his horse。  'He see 

you get in this morning under Mr。 RAMORNIE … I was very piticular 

to MR。 RAMORNIE you; if you remember; sir … and he see you get in 

again under Mr。 Saint Eaves; and whatever's he going to see you get 

out under? that's what worries me; sir。  It don't seem to me like 

as if the position was what you call STRATETEGIC!'



'PARRRBLEU! will you let me be!' I cried。  'I have to think; you 

cannot imagine how your constant idiotic prattle annoys me。'



'Beg pardon; Mr。 Anne;' said he; and the next moment; 'You wouldn't 

like for us to do our French now; would you; Mr。 Anne?'



'Certainly not;' said I。  'Play upon your flageolet。'



The which he did with what seemed to me to be irony。



Conscience doth make cowards of us all!  I was so downcast by my 

pitiful mismanagement of the morning's business that I shrank from 

the eye of my own hired infant; and read offensive meanings into 

his idle tootling。



I took off my coat; and set to mending it; soldier…fashion; with a 

needle and thread。  There is nothing more conducive to thought; 

above all in arduous circumstances; and as I sewed; I gradually 

gained a clearness upon my affairs。  I must be done with the 

claret…coloured chaise at once。  It should be sold at the next 

stage for what it would bring。  Rowley and I must take back to the 

road on our four feet; and after a decent interval of trudging; get 

places on some coach for Edinburgh again under new names!  So much 

trouble and toil; so much extra risk and expense and loss of time; 

and all for a slip of the tongue to a little lady in blue!









CHAPTER XXIV … THE INN…KEEPER OF KIRKBY…LONSDALE





I HAD hitherto conceived and partly carried out an ideal that was 

dear to my heart。  Rowley and I descended from our claret…coloured 

chaise; a couple of correctly dressed; brisk; bright…eyed young 

fellows; like a pair of aristocratic mice; attending singly to our 

own affairs; communicating solely with each other; and that with 

the niceties and civilities of drill。  We would pass through the 

little crowd before the door with high…bred preoccupation; 

inoffensively haughty; after the best English pattern; and 

disappear within; followed by the envy and admiration of the 

bystanders; a model master and servant; point…device in every part。  

It was a heavy thought to me; as we drew up before the inn at 

Kirkby…Lonsdale; that this scene was now to be enacted for the last 

time。  Alas! and had I known it; it was to go of with so inferior a 

grace!



I had been injudiciously liberal to the post…boys of the chaise and 

four。  My own post…boy; he of the patched breeches; now stood 

before me; his eyes glittering with greed; his hand advanced。  It 

was plain he anticipated something extraordinary by way of a 

POURBOIRE; and considering the marches and counter…marches by which 

I had extended the stage; the military character of our affairs 

with Mr。 Bellamy; and the bad example I had set before him at the 

archdeacon's; something exceptional was certainly to be done。  But 

these are always nice questions; to a foreigner above all: a shade 

too little will suggest niggardliness; a shilling too much smells 

of hush…money。  Fresh from the scene at the archdeacon's; and 

flushed by the idea that I was now nearly done with the 

responsibilities of the claret…coloured chaise; I put into his 

hands five guineas; and the amount served only to waken his 

cupidity。



'O; come; sir; you ain't going to fob me of with this?  Why; I seen 

fire at your side!' he cried。



It would never do to give him more; I felt I should become the 

fable of Kirkby…Lonsdale if I did; and I looked him in the face; 

sternly but still smiling; and addressed him with a voice of 

uncompromising firmness。



'If you do not like it; give it back;' said I。



He pocketed the guineas with the quickness of a conjurer; and; like 

a base…born cockney as he was; fell instantly to casting dirt。



' 'Ave your own way of it; Mr。 Ramornie … leastways Mr。 St。 Eaves; 

or whatever your blessed name may be。  Look 'ere' … turning for 

sympathy to the stable…boys … 'this is a blessed business。  Blessed 

'ard; I calls it。  'Ere I takes up a blessed son of a pop…gun what 

calls hisself anything you care to mention; and turns out to be a 

blessed MOUNSEER at the end of it!  'Ere 'ave I been drivin' of him 

up and down all day; a…carrying off of gals; a…shootin' of 

pistyils; and a…drinkin' of sherry and hale; and wot does he up and 

give me but a blank; blank; blanketing blank!'



The fellow's language had become too powerful for reproduction; and 

I passed it by。



Meanwhile I observed Rowley fretting visibly at the bit; another 

moment; and he would have added a last touch of the ridiculous to 

our arrival by coming to his hands with the postillion。



'Rowley!' cried I reprovingly。



Strictly it should have been Gammon; but in the hurry of the 

moment; my fault (I can only hope) passed unperceived。  At the same 

time I caught the eye of the postmaster。  He was long and lean; and 

brown and bilious; he had the drooping nose of the humourist; and 

the quick attention of a man of parts。  He read my embarrassment in 

a glance; stepped instantly forward; sent the post…boy to the 

rightabout with half a word; and was back next moment at my side。



'Dinner in a private room; sir?  Very well。  John; No。 4!  What 

wine would you care to mention?  Very well; sir。  Will you please 

to order fresh horses?  Not; sir?  Very well。'



Each of these expressions was accompanied by something in the 

nature of a bow; and all were prefaced by something in the nature 

of a smile; which I could very well have done without。  The man's 

politeness was from the teeth outwards; behind and within; I was 

conscious of a perpetual scrutiny: the scene at his doorstep; the 

random confidences of the post…boy; had not been thrown away on 

this observer; and it was under a strong fear of coming trouble 

that I was shown at last into my private room。  I was in half a 

mind t

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