st. ives-第36章
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He might scream as be pleased。 Willy nilly; I folded him to my
breast; I pressed him there; I kissed his ugly mug as it had never
been kissed before and would never be kissed again; and in the
doing so knocked his wig awry and his hat off。 He bleated in my
embrace; so bleats the sheep in the arms of the butcher。 The whole
thing; on looking back; appears incomparably reckless and absurd; I
no better than a madman for offering to advance on Dudgeon; and he
no better than a fool for not shooting me while I was about it。
But all's well that ends well; or; as the people in these days kept
singing and whistling on the streets:…
'There's a sweet little cherub that sits up aloft
And looks out for the life of poor Jack。'
'There!' said I; releasing him a little; but still keeping my hands
on his shoulders; 'JE VOUS AI BEL ET BIEN EMBRASSE … and; as you
would say; there is another French word。' With his wig over one
eye; he looked incredibly rueful and put out。 'Cheer up; Dudgeon;
the ordeal is over; you shall be embraced no more。 But do; first
of all; for God's…sake; put away your pistol; you handle it as if
you were a cockatrice; some time or other; depend upon it; it will
certainly go off。 Here is your hat。 No; let me put it on square;
and the wig before it。 Never suffer any stress of circumstances to
come between you and the duty you owe to yourself。 If you have
nobody else to dress for; dress for God!
'Put your wig straight
On your bald pate;
Keep your chin scraped;
And your figure draped。
Can you match me that? The whole duty of man in a quatrain! And
remark; I do not set up to be a professional bard; these are the
outpourings of a DILETTANTE。'
'But; my dear sir!' he exclaimed。
'But; my dear sir!' I echoed; 'I will allow no man to interrupt the
flow of my ideas。 Give me your opinion on my quatrain; or I vow we
shall have a quarrel of it。'
'Certainly you are quite an original;' he said。
'Quite;' said I; 'and I believe I have my counterpart before me。'
'Well; for a choice;' says he; smiling; 'and whether for sense or
poetry; give me
'〃Worth makes the man; and want of it the fellow:
The rest is all but leather and prunello。〃'
'Oh; but that's not fair … that's Pope! It's not original;
Dudgeon。 Understand me;' said I; wringing his breast…button; 'the
first duty of all poetry is to be mine; sir … mine。 Inspiration
now swells in my bosom; because … to tell you the plain truth; and
descend a little in style … I am devilish relieved at the turn
things have taken。 So; I dare say; are you yourself; Dudgeon; if
you would only allow it。 And A PROPOS; let me ask you a home
question。 Between friends; have you ever fired that pistol?'
'Why; yes; sir;' he replied。 'Twice … at hedgesparrows。'
'And you would have fired at me; you bloody…minded man?' I cried。
'If you go to that; you seemed mighty reckless with your stick;'
said Dudgeon。
'Did I indeed? Well; well; 'tis all past history; ancient as King
Pharamond … which is another French word; if you cared to
accumulate more evidence;' says I。 'But happily we are now the
best of friends; and have all our interests in common。'
'You go a little too fast; if you'll excuse me; Mr。 …: I do not
know your name; that I am aware;' said Dudgeon。
'No; to be sure!' said I。 'Never heard of it!'
'A word of explanation … ' he began。
'No; Dudgeon!' I interrupted。 'Be practical; I know what you want;
and the name of it is supper。 RIEN NE CREUSE COMME L'EMOTION。 I
am hungry myself; and yet I am more accustomed to warlike
palpitations than you; who are but a hunter of hedgesparrows。 Let
me look at your face critically: your bill of fare is three slices
of cold rare roast beef; a Welsh rabbit; a pot of stout; and a
glass or two of sound tawny port; old in bottle … the right milk of
Englishmen。' Methought there seemed a brightening in his eye and a
melting about his mouth at this enumeration。
'The night is young;' I continued; 'not much past eleven; for a
wager。 Where can we find a good inn? And remark that I say GOOD;
for the port must be up to the occasion … not a headache in a pipe
of it。'
'Really; sir;' he said; smiling a little; 'you have a way of
carrying things … '
'Will nothing make you stick to the subject?' I cried; 'you have
the most irrelevant mind! How do you expect to rise in your
profession? The inn?'
'Well; I will say you are a facetious gentleman!' said he。 'You
must have your way; I see。 We are not three miles from Bedford by
this very road。'
'Done!' cried I。 'Bedford be it!'
I tucked his arm under mine; possessed myself of the valise; and
walked him off unresisting。 Presently we came to an open piece of
country lying a thought downhill。 The road was smooth and free of
ice; the moonshine thin and bright over the meadows and the
leafless trees。 I was now honestly done with the purgatory of the
covered cart; I was close to my great…uncle's; I had no more fear
of Mr。 Dudgeon; which were all grounds enough for jollity。 And I
was aware; besides; of us two as of a pair of tiny and solitary
dolls under the vast frosty cupola of the midnight; the rooms
decked; the moon burnished; the least of the stars lighted; the
floor swept and waxed; and nothing wanting but for the band to
strike up and the dancing to begin。 In the exhilaration of my
heart I took the music on myself …
'Merrily danced the Quaker's wife;
And merrily danced the Quaker。'
I broke into that animated and appropriate air; clapped my arm
about Dudgeon's waist; and away down the hill at a dancing step!
He hung back a little at the start; but the impulse of the tune;
the night; and my example; were not to be resisted。 A man made of
putty must have danced; and even Dudgeon showed himself to be a
human being。 Higher and higher were the capers that we cut; the
moon repeated in shadow our antic footsteps and gestures; and it
came over my mind of a sudden … really like balm … what appearance
of man I was dancing with; what a long bilious countenance he had
shown under his shaven pate; and what a world of trouble the rascal
had given me in the immediate past。
Presently we began to see the lights of Bedford。 My Puritanic
companion stopped and disengaged himself。
'This is a trifle INFRA DIG。; sir; is it not?' said he。 'A party
might suppose we had been drinking。'
'And so you shall be; Dudgeon;' said I。 'You shall not only be
drinking; you old hypocrite; but you shall be drunk … dead drunk;
sir … and the boots shall put you to bed! We'll warn him when we
go in。 Never neglect a precaution; never put off till to…morrow
what you can do to…day!'
But he had no more frivolity to complain of。 We finished our stage
and came to the inn…door with decorum; to find the house still
alight and in a bustle with many late arrivals; to give our orders
with a prompt severity which ensured obedience; and to be served
soon after at a side…table; close to the fire and in a blaze of
candle…light; with such a meal as I had been dreaming of for days
past。 For days; you are to remember; I had been skulking in the
covered cart; a prey to cold; hunger; and an accumulation of
discomforts that might have daunted the most brave; and the white
table napery; the bright crystal; the reverberation of the fire;
the red curtains; the Turkey carpet; the portraits on the coffee…
room wall; the placid faces of the two or three late guests who
were silently prolonging the pleasures of digestion; and (last; but
not by any means least) a glass of an excellent light dry port; put
me in a humour only to be described as heavenly。 The thought of
the Colonel; of how he would have enjoyed this snug room and
roaring fire; and of