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第3章

st. ives-第3章

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should have the chance to mock at me again; none in the future 

should have the chance to think I had looked at her with 

admiration。  You cannot imagine any one of a more resolute and 

independent spirit; or whose bosom was more wholly mailed with 

patriotic arrogance; than I。  Before I dropped asleep; I had 

remembered all the infamies of Britain; and debited them in an 

overwhelming column to Flora。



The next day; as I sat in my place; I became conscious there was 

some one standing near; and behold; it was herself!  I kept my 

seat; at first in the confusion of my mind; later on from policy; 

and she stood; and leaned a little over me; as in pity。  She was 

very still and timid; her voice was low。  Did I suffer in my 

captivity? she asked me。  Had I to complain of any hardship?



'Mademoiselle; I have not learned to complain;' said I。  'I am a 

soldier of Napoleon。'



She sighed。  'At least you must regret LA FRANCE;' said she; and 

coloured a little as she pronounced the words; which she did with a 

pretty strangeness of accent。



'What am I to say?' I replied。  'If you were carried from this 

country; for which you seem so wholly suited; where the very rains 

and winds seem to become you like ornaments; would you regret; do 

you think?  We must surely all regret! the son to his mother; the 

man to his country; these are native feelings。'



'You have a mother?' she asked。



'In heaven; mademoiselle;' I answered。  'She; and my father also; 

went by the same road to heaven as so many others of the fair and 

brave: they followed their queen upon the scaffold。  So; you see; I 

am not so much to be pitied in my prison;' I continued: 'there are 

none to wait for me; I am alone in the world。  'Tis a different 

case; for instance; with yon poor fellow in the cloth cap。  His bed 

is next to mine; and in the night I hear him sobbing to himself。  

He has a tender character; full of tender and pretty sentiments; 

and in the dark at night; and sometimes by day when he can get me 

apart with him; he laments a mother and a sweetheart。  Do you know 

what made him take me for a confidant?'



She parted her lips with a look; but did not speak。  The look 

burned all through me with a sudden vital heat。



'Because I had once seen; in marching by; the belfry of his 

village!' I continued。  'The circumstance is quaint enough。  It 

seems to bind up into one the whole bundle of those human instincts 

that make life beautiful; and people and places dear … and from 

which it would seem I am cut off!'



I rested my chin on my knee and looked before me on the ground。  I 

had been talking until then to hold her; but I was now not sorry 

she should go: an impression is a thing so delicate to produce and 

so easy to overthrow!  Presently she seemed to make an effort。



'I will take this toy;' she said; laid a five…and…sixpenny piece in 

my hand; and was gone ere I could thank her。



I retired to a place apart near the ramparts and behind a gun。  The 

beauty; the expression of her eyes; the tear that had trembled 

there; the compassion in her voice; and a kind of wild elegance 

that consecrated the freedom of her movements; all combined to 

enslave my imagination and inflame my heart。  What had she said?  

Nothing to signify; but her eyes had met mine; and the fire they 

had kindled burned inextinguishably in my veins。  I loved her; and 

I did not fear to hope。  Twice I had spoken with her; and in both 

interviews I had been well inspired; I had engaged her sympathies; 

I had found words that she must remember; that would ring in her 

ears at night upon her bed。  What mattered if I were half shaved 

and my clothes a caricature?  I was still a man; and I had drawn my 

image on her memory。  I was still a man; and; as I trembled to 

realise; she was still a woman。  Many waters cannot quench love; 

and love; which is the law of the world; was on my side。  I closed 

my eyes; and she sprang up on the background of the darkness; more 

beautiful than in life。  'Ah!' thought I; 'and you too; my dear; 

you too must carry away with you a picture; that you are still to 

behold again and still to embellish。  In the darkness of night; in 

the streets by day; still you are to have my voice and face; 

whispering; making love for me; encroaching on your shy heart。  Shy 

as your heart is; IT is lodged there … I am lodged there; let the 

hours do their office … let time continue to draw me ever in more 

lively; ever in more insidious colours。'  And then I had a vision 

of myself; and burst out laughing。



A likely thing; indeed; that a beggar…man; a private soldier; a 

prisoner in a yellow travesty; was to awake the interest of this 

fair girl!  I would not despair; but I saw the game must be played 

fine and close。  It must be my policy to hold myself before her; 

always in a pathetic or pleasing attitude; never to alarm or 

startle her; to keep my own secret locked in my bosom like a story 

of disgrace; and let hers (if she could be induced to have one) 

grow at its own rate; to move just so fast; and not by a hair's…

breadth any faster; than the inclination of her heart。  I was the 

man; and yet I was passive; tied by the foot in prison。  I could 

not go to her; I must cast a spell upon her at each visit; so that 

she should return to me; and this was a matter of nice management。  

I had done it the last time … it seemed impossible she should not 

come again after our interview; and for the next I had speedily 

ripened a fresh plan。  A prisoner; if he has one great disability 

for a lover; has yet one considerable advantage: there is nothing 

to distract him; and he can spend all his hours ripening his love 

and preparing its manifestations。  I had been then some days upon a 

piece of carving; … no less than the emblem of Scotland; the Lion 

Rampant。  This I proceeded to finish with what skill I was 

possessed of; and when at last I could do no more to it (and; you 

may be sure; was already regretting I had done so much); added on 

the base the following dedication。 …





A LA BELLE FLORA

LE PRISONNIER RECONNAISSANT

A。 D。 ST。  Y。 D。 K。





I put my heart into the carving of these letters。  What was done 

with so much ardour; it seemed scarce possible that any should 

behold with indifference; and the initials would at least suggest 

to her my noble birth。  I thought it better to suggest: I felt that 

mystery was my stock…in…trade; the contrast between my rank and 

manners; between my speech and my clothing; and the fact that she 

could only think of me by a combination of letters; must all tend 

to increase her interest and engage her heart。



This done; there was nothing left for me but to wait and to hope。  

And there is nothing further from my character: in love and in war; 

I am all for the forward movement; and these days of waiting made 

my purgatory。  It is a fact that I loved her a great deal better at 

the end of them; for love comes; like bread; from a perpetual 

rehandling。  And besides; I was fallen into a panic of fear。  How; 

if she came no more; how was I to continue to endure my empty days? 

how was I to fall back and find my interest in the major's lessons; 

the lieutenant's chess; in a twopenny sale in the market; or a 

halfpenny addition to the prison fare?



Days went by; and weeks; I had not the courage to calculate; and 

to…day I have not the courage to remember; but at last she was 

there。  At last I saw her approach me in the company of a boy about 

her own age; and whom I divined at once to be her brother。



I rose and bowed in silence。



'This is my brother; Mr。 Ronald Gilchrist;' said she。  'I have told 

him of your sufferings。  He is so sorry for you!'



'It is more than I have the right to ask;' I replied; 'but among 

gentlefolk these generous sentiments are natural。  If your brother 

and I were to meet in the field; we should meet l

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