the memorabilia-第19章
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the art of catching men。＇24＇
＇23＇ 〃An authority in matters of love。〃 Cf。 Plat。 〃Symp。〃 177 D； Xen。
〃Symp。〃 viii。 2。
＇24＇ See below； III。 xi。 7； cf。 Plat。 〃Soph。〃 222； N。 T。 Matt。 iv。 19；
｛alieis anthropon｝。
Critobulus replied： Why； these are the very lessons of instruction；
Socrates； for which I have been long athirst； and the more
particularly if this same love's lore will enable me to capture those
who are good of soul and those who are beautiful of person。
Soc。 Nay； now I warn you； Critobulus； it is not within the province of
my science to make the beautiful endure him who would lay hands upon
them。 And that is why men fled from Scylla； I am persuaded； because
she laid hands upon them； but the Sirens were differentthey laid
hands on nobody； but sat afar off and chanted their spells in the ears
of all； and therefore； it is said； all men endured to listen； and were
charmed。
Cri。 I promise I will not lay violent hands on any； therefore； if you
have any good device for winning friends； instruct your pupil。
Soc。 And if there is to be no laying on of the hands； there must be no
application either of the lips； is it agreed？
Cri。 No； nor application of the lips to any onenot beautiful。
Soc。 See now！ you cannot open your mouth without some luckless
utterence。 Beauty suffers no such liberty； however eagerly the ugly
may invite it； making believe some quality of soul must rank them with
the beautiful。
Cri。 Be of good cheer then； let the compact stand thus： 〃Kisses for
the beautiful； and for the good a rain of kisses。〃 So now teach us the
art of catching friends。
Soc。 Well then； when you wish to win some one's affection； you will
allow me to lodge information against you to the effect that you
admire him and desire to be his friend？
Cri。 Lodge the indictment； with all my heart。 I never heard of any one
who hated his admirers。
Soc。 And if I add to the indictment the further charge that through
your admiration you are kindly disposed towards him； you will not feel
I am taking away your character？
Cri。 Why； no； for myself I know a kindly feeling springs up in my
heart towards any one whom I conceive to be kindly disposed to me。
Soc。 All this I shall feel empowered to say about you to those whose
friendship you seek； and I can promise further help； only there is a
comprehensive 〃if〃 to be considered： if you will further authorise me
to say that you are devoted to your friends； that nothing gives you so
much joy as a good friend； that you pride yourself no less on the fine
deeds of those you love than on your own； and on their good things
equally with your own； that you never weary of plotting and planning
to procure them a rich harvest of the same； and lastly； that you have
discovered a man's virtue is to excel his friends in kindness and his
foes in hostility。 If I am authorised thus to report of you； I think
you will find me a serviceable fellow…hunter in the quest of friends；
which is the conquest of the good。
Cri。 Why this appeal to me？as if you had not free permission to say
exactly what you like about me。
Soc。 No； that I deny； on the authority of Aspasia。＇25＇ I have it from
her own lips。 〃Good matchmakers；〃 she said tome； 〃were clever hands at
cementing alliances between people； provided the good qualities they
vouched for were truthfully reported； but when it came to their
telling lies； for her part she could not compliment them。＇26＇ Their
poor deluded dupes ended by hating each other and the go…betweens as
well。〃 Now I myself am so fully persuaded of the truth of this that I
feel it is not in my power to say aught in your praise which I cannot
say with truth。
＇25＇ Aspasia； daughter of Axiochus； of Miletus。 See 〃Econ。〃 iii。 14；
Plat。 〃Menex。〃 235 E； Aesch。 Socrat。 ap。 Cic。 〃de Invent。〃 I。
xxxi。 51。 See Grote； 〃H。 G。〃 vi。 132 foll。； Cobet； 〃Pros。 Xen。〃
＇26＇ Reading ｛ouk ethelein epainein｝； or if ｛ouk ophelein epainousas｝
with Kuhner transl。 〃Good matchmakers； she told me； have to
consult truth when reporting favourably of any one： then indeed
they are terribly clever at bringing people together： whereas
false flatterers do no good； their dupes；〃 etc。
Cri。 Really； Socrates； you are a wonderfully good friend to mein so
far as I have any merit which will entitle me to win a friend； you
will lend me a helping hand； it seems； otherwise you would rather not
forge any petty fiction for my benefit。
Soc。 But tell me； how shall I assist you best； think you？ By praising
you falsely or by persuading you to try to be a good man？ Or if it is
not plain to you thus； look at the matter by the light of some
examples。 I wish to introduce you to a shipowner； or to make him your
friend： I begin by singing your praises to him falsely thus； 〃You will
find him a good pilot〃； he catches at the phrase； and entrusts his
ship to you； who have no notion of guiding a vessel。 What can you
expect but to make shipwreck of the craft and yourself together？ or
suppose by similar false assertions I can persuade the state at large
to entrust her destinies to you〃a man with a fine genius for
command；〃 I say； 〃a practised lawyer；〃 〃a politician born；〃 and so
forth。 The odds are； the state and you may come to grief through you。
Or to take an instance from everyday life。 By my falsehoods I persuade
some private person to entrust his affairs to you as 〃a really careful
and business…like person with a head for economy。〃 When put to the
test would not your administration prove ruinous； and the figure you
cut ridiculous？ No； my dear friend； there is but one road； the
shortest； safest； best； and it is simply this： In whatsoever you
desire to be deemed good； endeavour to be good。 For of all the virtues
namable among men； consider； and you will find there is not one but
may be increased by learning and practice。 For my part then；
Critobulus； these are the principles on which we ought to go a…
hunting； but if you take a different view； I am all attention； please
instruct me。
Then Critobulus： Nay； Socrates； I should be ashamed to gainsay what
you have said； if I did； it would neither be a noble statement nor a
true。＇27＇
＇27＇ ｛kala 。 。 。 alethe｝。
VII
He had two ways of dealing with the difficulties of his friends： where
ignorance was the cause； he tried to meet the trouble by a dose of
common sense； or where want and poverty were to blame； by lessoning
them that they should assist one another according to their ability；
and here I may mention certain incidents which occurred within my own
knowledge。 How； for instance； he chanced upon Aristarchus wearing the
look of one who suffered from a fit of the 〃sullens；〃 and thus
accosted him。
Soc。 You seem to have some trouble on your mind； Aristarchus； if so；
you should share it with your friends。 Perhaps together we might
lighten the weight of it a little。
Aristarchus answered： Yes； Socrates； I am in sore straits indeed。 Ever
since the party strife declared itself in the city；＇1＇ what with the
rush of people to Piraeus； and the wholesale banishments； I have been
fairly at the mercy of my poor deserted female relatives。 Sisters；
nieces； cousins； they have all come flocking to me for protection。 I
have fourteen free…born souls； I tell you； under my single roof； and
how are we to live？ We can get nothing out of the soilthat is in the
hands of the enemy； nothing from my house property； for there is
scarcely a living soul left in the city； my furniture？ no one will buy
it； money？ there is none to be borrowedyou would have a better
chance to find it by looking for it on the road than to borrow it from
a banker。 Yes； Socrates； to stand by and see one's relatives die of
hunger is hard indeed； and yet to feed so many at such a pinch
impossible。
＇1＇ i。e。 circa 404…403 B。C。 See 〃Hell。〃 II。 iv。
After he listened to the story； Socrates asked： How comes it that
Ceramon；＇2＇ with so many mouths to feed； not only contrives to furnish
himself and them with the necessaries of life； but to realise a
handsome surplus； whilst you being in like plight＇3＇ are afraid you
will one and all perish of starvation for want of the necessaries of
life？
＇2＇ An e
