queen victoria-第7章
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the book； the Princess's surprise； her inquiries； her final realisation of the facts。 When the child at last understood； she was silent for a moment； and then she spoke： 〃I will be good；〃 she said。 The words were something more than a conventional protestation； something more than the expression of a superimposed desire； they were； in their limitation and their intensity； their egotism and their humility； an instinctive summary of the dominating qualities of a life。 〃I cried much on learning it；〃 her Majesty noted long afterwards。 No doubt； while the others were present； even her dear Lehzen； the little girl kept up her self…command； and then crept away somewhere to ease her heart of an inward； unfamiliar agitation； with a handkerchief； out of her mother's sight。
But her mother's sight was by no means an easy thing to escape。 Morning and evening； day and night； there was no relaxation of the maternal vigilance。 The child grew into the girl； the girl into the young woman； but still she slept in her mother's bedroom； still she had no place allowed her where she might sit or work by herself。 An extraordinary watchfulness surrounded her every step： up to the day of her accession； she never went downstairs without someone beside her holding her hand。 Plainness and regularity ruled the household。 The hours； the days； the years passed slowly and methodically by。 The dollsthe innumerable dolls； each one so neatly dressed； each one with its name so punctiliously entered in the cataloguewere laid aside； and a little music and a little dancing took their place。 Taglioni came； to give grace and dignity to the figure； and Lablache； to train the piping treble upon his own rich bass。 The Dean of Chester； the official preceptor； continued his endless instruction in Scripture history； while the Duchess of Northumberland； the official governess； presided over every lesson with becoming solemnity。 Without doubt； the Princess's main achievement during her school…days was linguistic。 German was naturally the first language with which she was familiar； but English and French quickly followed； and she became virtually trilingual； though her mastery of English grammar remained incomplete。 At the same time； she acquired a working knowledge of Italian and some smattering of Latin。 Nevertheless； she did not read very much。 It was not an occupation that she cared for； partly； perhaps； because the books that were given her were all either sermons； which were very dull； or poetry； which was incomprehensible。 Novels were strictly forbidden。 Lord Durham persuaded her mother to get her some of Miss Martineau's tales； illustrating the truths of Political Economy； and they delighted her； but it is to be feared that it was the unaccustomed pleasure of the story that filled her mind； and that she never really mastered the theory of exchanges or the nature of rent。
It was her misfortune that the mental atmosphere which surrounded her during these years of adolescence was almost entirely feminine。 No father； no brother； was there to break in upon the gentle monotony of the daily round with impetuosity； with rudeness； with careless laughter and wafts of freedom from the outside world。 The Princess was never called by a voice that was loud and growling； never felt； as a matter of course； a hard rough cheek on her own soft one； never climbed a wall with a boy。 The visits to Claremontdelicious little escapes into male societycame to an end when she was eleven years old and Prince Leopold left England to be King of the Belgians。 She loved him still； he was still 〃il mio secondo padre or； rather； solo padre； for he is indeed like my real father； as I have none；〃 but his fatherliness now came to her dimly and indirectly； through the cold channel of correspondence。 Henceforward female duty； female elegance； female enthusiasm； hemmed her completely in； and her spirit； amid the enclosing folds； was hardly reached by those two great influences； without which no growing life can truly prosperhumour and imagination。 The Baroness Lehzenfor she had been raised to that rank in the Hanoverian nobility by George IV before he diedwas the real centre of the Princess's world。 When Feodora married； when Uncle Leopold went to Belgium； the Baroness was left without a competitor。 The Princess gave her mother her dutiful regards； but Lehzen had her heart。 The voluble； shrewd daughter of the pastor in Hanover； lavishing her devotion on her royal charge； had reaped her reward in an unbounded confidence and a passionate adoration。 The girl would have gone through fire for her 〃PRECIOUS Lehzen；〃 the 〃best and truest friend；〃 she declared； that she had had since her birth。 Her journal； begun when she was thirteen； where she registered day by day the small succession of her doings and her sentiments； bears on every page of it the traces of the Baroness and her circumambient influence。 The young creature that one sees there； self…depicted in ingenuous clarity； with her sincerity； her simplicity； her quick affections and pious resolutions； might almost have been the daughter of a German pastor herself。 Her enjoyments； her admirations； her engouements were of the kind that clothed themselves naturally in underlinings and exclamation marks。 〃It was a DELIGHTFUL ride。 We cantered a good deal。 SWEET LITTLE ROSY WENT BEAUTIFULLY！！ We came home at a 1/4 past 1。。。 At 20 minutes to 7 we went out to the Opera。。。 Rubini came on and sang a song out of 'Anna Boulena' QUITE BEAUTIFULLY。 We came home at 1/2 past 11。〃 In her comments on her readings； the mind of the Baroness is clearly revealed。 One day； by some mistake； she was allowed to take up a volume of memoirs by Fanny Kemble。 〃It is certainly very pertly and oddly written。 One would imagine by the style that the authoress must be very pert； and not well bred； for there are so many vulgar expressions in it。 It is a great pity that a person endowed with so much talent； as Mrs。 Butler really is； should turn it to so little account and publish a book which is so full of trash and nonsense which can only do her harm。 I stayed up till 20 minutes past 9。〃 Madame de Sevigne's letters； which the Baroness read aloud； met with more approval。 〃How truly elegant and natural her style is！ It is so full of naivete； cleverness； and grace。〃 But her highest admiration was reserved for the Bishop of Chester's 'Exposition of the Gospel of St。 Matthew。' 〃It is a very fine book indeed。 Just the sort of one I like； which is just plain and comprehensible and full of truth and good feeling。 It is not one of those learned books in which you have to cavil at almost every paragraph。 Lehzen gave it me on the Sunday that I took the Sacrament。〃 A few weeks previously she had been confirmed； and she described the event as follows： 〃I felt that my confirmation was one of the most solemn and important events and acts in my life； and that I trusted that it might have a salutary effect on my mind。 I felt deeply repentant for all what I had done which was wrong and trusted in God Almighty to strengthen my heart and mind； and to forsake all that is bad and follow all that is virtuous and right。 I went with the firm determination to become a true Christian； to try and comfort my dear Mamma in all her griefs； trials； and anxieties； and to become a dutiful and affectionate daughter to her。 Also to be obedient to DEAR Lehzen； who has done so much for me。 I was dressed in a white lace dress； with a white crepe bonnet with a wreath of white roses round it。 I went in the chariot with my dear Mamma and the others followed in another carriage。〃 One seems to hold in one's hand a small smooth crystal pebble； without a flaw and without a scintillation； and so transparent that one can see through it at a glance。
Yet perhaps； after all； to the discerning eye； the purity would not be absolute。 The careful searcher might detect； in the virgin soil； the first faint traces of an unexpected vein。 In that conventual existence visits were exciting events； and； as the Duchess had many relatives； they were not infrequent； aunts and uncles would often appear from Germany； and cousins too。 When the Princess was fourteen she was delighted by the arrival of a couple of boys from Wurtemberg； the Princes Alexander and E
