5 midnigh+sun-第52章
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I chuckled—hopefully it was too quiet for her to hear。
I watched her stumble her way up to the pool of light that surrounded the front
door。 Safe for the moment。 And I would be back soon to make sure。
I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the dark street。 Such a different
sensation than I was accustomed to。 Usually； I could simply watch myself through
someone's following eyes； were I of a mind to。 This was strangely exciting—this
intangible sensation of watching eyes。 I knew it was just because they were her eyes。
A million thoughts chased each other through my head as I drove aimlessly into
the night。
For a long time I circled through the streets； going nowhere； thinking of Bella and
the incredible release of having the truth known。 No longer did I have to dread that she
would find out what I was。 She knew。 It didn't matter to her。 Even though this was
obviously a bad thing for her； it was amazingly liberating for me。
More than that； I thought of Bella and requited love。 She couldn't love me the
way I loved her—such an overpowering； all…consuming； crushing love would probably
break her fragile body。 But she felt strongly enough。 Enough to subdue the instinctive
fear。 Enough to want to be with me。 And being with her was the greatest happiness I had
ever known。
For a while—as I was all alone and hurting no one else for a change—I allowed
myself to feel that happiness without dwelling on the tragedy。 Just to be happy that she
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cared for me。 Just to exult in the triumph of winning her affection。 Just to imagine day
after day of sitting close to her； hearing her voice and earning her smiles。
I replayed that smile in my head； seeing her full lips pull up at the corners； the
hint of a dimple that touched her pointed chin； the way her eyes warmed and melted？
Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight。 I imagined how it would feel
to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbones—silky； warm？so fragile。
Silk over glass？frighteningly breakable。
I didn't see where my thoughts were leading until it was too late。 As I dwelt on
that devastating vulnerability； new images of her face intruded on my fantasies。
Lost in the shadows； pale with fear—yet her jaw tight and determined； her eyes
fierce； full of concentration； her slim body braced to strike at the hulking forms that
gathered around her； nightmares in the gloom？
〃Ah；〃 I groaned as the simmering hate that I'd all but forgotten in the joy of
loving her burst again into an inferno of rage。
I was alone。 Bella was； I trusted； safe inside her home； for a moment I was
fiercely glad that Charlie Swan—head of the local law enforcement； trained and armed—
was her father。 That ought to mean something； provide some shelter for her。
She was safe。 It would not take me so very long to avenge the insult？
No。 She deserved better。 I could not allow her to care for a murderer。
But？what about the others？
Bella was safe； yes。 Angela and Jessica were also； surely； safe in their beds。
Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles。 A human monster—did
that make him the humans' problem？ To commit the murder I ached to commit was
wrong。 I knew that。 But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing
either。
The blond hostess from the restaurant。 The waitress I'd never really looked at。
Both had irritated me in a trivial way； but that did not mean they deserved to be in
danger。
Either one of them might be somebody's Bella。
That realization decided me。
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I turned the car north； accelerating now that I had a purpose。 Whenever I had a
problem that was beyond me—something tangible like this—I knew where I could go for
help。
Alice was sitting on the porch； waiting for me。 I pulled to a stop in front of the
house rather than going around to the garage。
〃Carlisle's in his study；〃 Alice told me before I could ask。
〃Thank you；〃 I said； tousling her hair as I passed。
Thank you for returning my call； she thought sarcastically。
〃Oh。〃 I paused by the door； pulling out my phone and flipping it open。 〃Sorry。 I
didn't even check to see who it was。 I was？busy。〃
〃Yeah； I know。 I'm sorry； too。 By the time I saw what was going to happen； you
were on your way。〃
〃It was close；〃 I murmured。
Sorry； she repeated； ashamed of herself。
It was easy to be generous； knowing that Bella was fine。 〃Don't be。 I know you
can't catch everything。 No one expects you to be omniscient； Alice。〃
〃Thanks。〃
〃I almost asked you out to dinner tonight—did you catch that before I changed
my mind？〃
She grinned。 〃No； I missed that one； too。 Wish I'd known。 I would have come。〃
〃What were you concentrating on； that you missed so much？〃
Jasper's thinking about our anniversary。 She laughed。 He's trying not to make a
decision on my gift； but I think I have a pretty good idea？
〃You're shameless。〃
〃Yep。〃
She pursed her lips； and stared up at me； a hint of accusation in her expression。 I
paid better attention later。 Are you going to tell them that she knows？
I sighed。 〃Yes。 Later。〃
I won't say anything。 Do me a favor and tell Rosalie when I'm not around； okay？
I flinched。 〃Sure。〃
Bella took it pretty well。
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〃Too well。〃
Alice grinned at me。 Don't underestimate Bella。
I tried to block the image I didn't want to see—Bella and Alice； best of friends。
Impatient now； I sighed heavily。 I wanted to be through with the next part of the
evening； I wanted it over with。 But I was a little worried to leave Forks？
〃Alice？〃 I began。 She saw what I was planning to ask。
She'll be fine tonight。 I'm keeping a better watch now。 She sort of needs twenty…
four hour supervision； doesn't she？
〃At least。〃
〃Anyway； you'll be with her soon enough。〃
I took a deep breath。 The words were beautiful to me。
〃Go on—get this done so you can be where you want to be；〃 she told me。
I nodded； and hurried up to Carlisle's room。
He was waiting for me； his eyes on the door rather than the thick book on his
desk。
〃I heard Alice tell you where to find me；〃 he said； and smiled。
It was a relief to be with him； to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes。
Carlisle would know what to do。
〃I need help。〃
〃Anything； Edward；〃 he promised。
〃Did Alice tell you what happened to Bella tonight？〃
Almost happened； he amended。
〃Yes； almost。 I've got a dilemma； Carlisle。 You see； I want？very much？to kill
him。〃 The words started to flow fast and passionate。 〃So much。 But I know that would
be wrong； because it would be vengeance； not justice。 All anger； no impartiality。 Still； it
can't be right to leave a serial rapist and killer wandering Port Angeles！ I don't know the
humans there； but I can't let someone else take Bella's place as his victim。 Those other
women—someone might feel about them the way I feel about Bella。 Might suffer what I
would have suffered if she'd been harmed。 It's not right—〃
His wide； unexpected smile stopped the rush of my words cold。
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She's very good for you； isn't she？ So much compassion； so much control。 I'm
impressed。
〃I'm not looking for compliments； Carlisle。〃
〃Of course not。 But I can't help my thoughts； can I？〃 He smiled again。 〃I'll take
care of it。 You can rest easy。 No one else will be harmed in Bella's place。〃
I saw the plan in his head。 It wasn't exactly what I wanted； it did not satisfy my
craving for brutality； but I could see that it was the right thing。
〃I'll show you where to find him；〃 I said。
〃Let's go。〃
He grabbed his black bag on the way。 I would have preferred a more aggressive
form of sedation—like a cracked skull—but I would let Carlisle do this his way。
We took my car。 Alice was still on the steps。 She grinned and waved as we drove
away。 I saw that she had looked ahead for me； we would have no difficulties。
The trip was very short on the dark； empty road。 I left off my headlights to keep
from attracting attention。 It made me smile to think
